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I See In Your Eyes | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Fluff Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 8 Summary: Harry's summer at Privet Drive has been miserable, with only the memory of Sirius' death and his guilt for company. He has nobody, and is lost in his guilt. Can a certain redhead with a hopeful outlook brighten his horizon? Hitcount: Story Total: 4669 |
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I'm sorry! This is my first fic, and I guess...while filling out story info, I forgot to mention that I See In Your Eyes is a one-shot fic...I cant think of anywhere to go with it...sorry about that... The sun was sinking blood red, gilding the tops of the houses a bright scarlet. This vibrant color was reflected strangely in the green eyes of a sixteen year old boy who was sitting on the roof, watching its slow progress as the sky darkened around him. He could see from his lofty position that the neighborhood surrounding the house was quieting. Mothers were calling their children in from playing outdoors, car doors slammed as fathers came home from a late night at the office. Through brightly lit windows, he could see the images of happy families sitting together around the dinner table. The hollow feeling inside Harry Potter’s chest seemed to grow a bit as he watched the family in Number 6 talking and laughing together. He had no one to talk and laugh with anymore. He had no one who loved him. These thoughts swirled around in Harry’s head as the sky finally darkened and stars began to appear. The Dursleys would be downstairs now, watching television together, or gloating to a telemarketer about the boxing trophies that covered the mantle. They were a family, and he, Harry, was only an intruder, a nuisance that his aunt and uncle had taken in on the request of Albus Dumbledore. He had never been loved by his aunt and uncle, only accepted as part of the things that were. They could never empathize with the flood of emotion that was now his only company. Harry sighed and swung himself down to his bedroom window by the drain hanging outside. He stepped into his room, pulled off his glasses and flopped onto his unmade bed. He knew that he would not sleep that night; he hadn’t really slept for almost two months. He only stared at the ceiling, trying not to think the thoughts that had made his summer holiday the most miserable of his life. He could hear Dudley shouting at the television downstairs, could imagine his aunt and uncle smiling indulgently at this display of temper. Closing his eyes for a moment, Harry felt his consciousness drifting out of his grasp, but he did not try to pull it back...he was so tired...just a wink or two, yes, that would do him some... A blinding pain shot through his forehead. He wanted to scream, to faint, and to die. He saw a dark shape falling through a black veil, saw a dark haired woman laugh as he disappeared. Felt the rage seep through him yet again. Saw the haunted eyes of Lupin as he restrained Harry. The ache inside of him was too much for one person to bear. Those eyes. Crimson slits in a bone white face. Nauseating and sickly sweet pain running through his veins. “Kill me now, Dumbledore...” He saw the old wizard looking so weary and sad, heard that harsh voice... “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...” Hopelessness. Doom. Dread. Agony. Fear... “Death is nothing compared to this...” He woke in a cold sweat. The air in his bedroom was a frigid temperature due to his open window, but Harry was not bothered by it. He sat up in his bed and looked around. The trunk containing his robes and books was under the desk that was partly covered by Hedwig’s unkempt cage. His wand lay on the floor where he had listlessly dropped it the night before. Books and quills were strewn unceremoniously across the floor. Everything looked the same as it had since he had returned to Privet Drive. Harry rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his very unkempt black hair. Putting on his round glasses, he pulled on a jumper and left his room. He sat down at the breakfast table, ignoring Uncle Vernon’s disapproving growl at his appearance. His aunt and uncle had been furious with Harry ever since the mortifying incident at King’s Cross when they had come to collect him. The fact that they were treating him as if he were part of the wall did not even phase Harry. Indifference and grief had distracted Harry from his aunt and uncle’s hostility. Ignoring their glares, Harry helped himself to a piece of toast, and listlessly bit into it. Though it tasted like cardboard in his mouth, the sustenance was a relief after a three-day unintentional hunger strike. He just hadn’t felt like eating lately. Finishing his toast, Harry slipped on a faded jacket and headed for the door. He knew he would not be missed. He needed to be away... no. That wasn’t it. Harry didn’t need to be away from the Dursleys. If he was honest with himself, he hadn’t needed to really be away from them all summer. His surrogate family’s abuse hadn’t bothered him at all this summer; in fact, he didn’t even notice it anymore. All he noticed about the Dursleys anymore was their filial bond with each other. They were not the ideal family; Dudley being a great stupid ape, his parents only too happy to indulge his temper, but they loved each other. That was all Harry saw. That was all Harry cared to see. The fist that had kept a firm hold on his insides since that night at the Ministry clenched suddenly as he entered Magnolia Crescent. Thinking about his lack of a family, coupled with entering the spot where he had first seen the only man that he had ever thought of as his family, brought a sudden surge of guilt and hopelessness rising like bile in his throat. Sirius had died. He wasn’t there to talk to about his darkest fears; he wasn’t there to laugh with. Sirius’ presence had made things easier to handle, and he was gone now. It was all his fault. It’s my fault. Thought Harry. If I hadn’t been such a prat he would be here now. He would be safe if he didn’t know me. Is everyone I care about going to die because of my stupidity? He thought suddenly of all those he held dear. Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the Weasley boys, Ginny. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Lupin, Tonks... All of them were connected to the Order. Connected to him, and therefore in danger of being targets for Voldemort. But Voldemort hadn’t heard the prophecy, not in its entirety at least. The first time he had attempted to learn of its contents, his servant had been revealed half way through the prophecy. The second time...well, Harry didn’t like to think about the second time... Thinking about Sirius made his head hurt. Thinking about his part in Sirius’ death made his stomach sink to his feet. Thinking of all of the people who could-would-be hurt because of him made his heart want to stop beating. Harry walked down the familiar streets of Little Whinging, not looking at his surroundings, but simply going wherever his feet took him. The two months he had spent away from Hogwarts had brought quite a change in his physique. Having hit an unexpected growth spurt in the middle of June, the pains from which had caused more writhing in agony than usual at night, Harry was now close to six feet tall. Shoulders and chest had broadened, and arms, which had long ago been conditioned for Quidditch, finally showed the muscles they deserved to. His voice was much deeper, but hoarse from lack of use. The rib cage below his broad chest was emaciated from lack of proper nutrients, and eyes which usually sparkled with determination and characteristic Gryffindor bravery and cunning looked out of a pale face with a dull and haunted expression which had never left them all summer. Coming to the play park where he had spent many a youthful day hiding from Dudley, Harry sat down on the only bench, and stared into space, thinking of nothing in particular. He had to let his mind go blank, or else he might go insane from the pain pent up inside him. Good training for Occlumency, I suppose. He thought to himself. Though I don’t know why I should bother to do it. I couldn’t use it right last time, and look what...happened then. Harry sniffed audibly and shook his head. No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop thinking about that night. He had to find something that would take his mind off the pain. Off of Sirius. Something moved in the bushes behind him. Harry turned around, waiting to see a cat race out from between his legs, but the bushes were silent again. But Harry was not going to readily give up the distraction of a good mystery. He stood up, and walked toward the bushes. There was a rustle and a loud “Oomph!” from a Hawthorne close by, and a figure in a midnight blue cloak tumbled out at his feet. Harry pulled out his wand, thinking that this might be some particularly clumsy Death Eater, and not caring whether he was expelled from school or put in Azkaban. He wanted an excuse to release the hate inside of him...However, when the figure rose, he put his wand away slowly, frowning in confusion. Brown eyes which showed a little of the same haunted expression as his own gazed at him from beneath the cloak. When hands pulled the hood away, a great quantity of golden red hair fell across slender shoulders. Soft lips set in a determined line that quivered at the sight of him opened to say “Hello, Harry.” He gaped at Ginny, shocked to see her in Little Whinging, but also to see how the months since he had seen her had changed her. A face that had always been pale now looked as cold as he had seen it only once before, in a Chamber deep under Hogwarts. Freckles stood out sharply across the delicate nose and high cheekbones, which were a touch more noticeable than normal. Ginny hadn’t been eating enough, either. Her hair fell thick and shining to her chest, catching the little light that the cloudy sky could offer. Her eyes, under their extravagant lashes, had a look of pain so reminiscent of his own that Harry thought they might as well have been mirrors. The dark circles beneath told him that the months since the Department of Mysteries had left her with sleepless nights as well. Despite all of these painful signs of suffering, Harry thought that she had never looked more beautiful. Ginny waited for him to reply to her greeting, but when Harry did not return it, she said, “Did...did you hear me, Harry?” Her eyes darkened as she asked, and he knew that she could see the suffering in his eyes as he could see it in hers. Harry came out of his musings, back to earth and Ginny with a jolt. “What are you doing here, Ginny?” The question sounded hollow, like he really didn’t need to know, but at the same time, a desperation filled Harry’s haunted voice. Lips quivered again, as Ginny spoke, with a feigned impertinence. “Aren’t you going to say how nice it is to see me?” But the smile with which she spoke did not reach her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know when I’ve been more glad to see anyone in my entire life. I thought I’d go insane here, Ginny. Though it doesn’t look like you’ve faired much better.” Harry laughed shakily as he said it. Ginny pushed his arm playfully, and the contact sent a bolt of electricity through Harry that he didn’t think was all the shock of human touch. He scowled at Ginny in a mock-menacing way, then grabbed her up in a hug that brought a squeak of surprise and a muffled exclamation, “Harry! You’re crushing my lungs.” “Oh, sorry Gin. I’m just so glad that you’re here.” Harry hugged her again, more gently this time. She hugged him back, resting her head against his shoulder. He felt a drip seep through the fabric of his T-shirt, and pulled away to look at Ginny, who’s brown eyes were bright with unshed tears. “What’s wrong, Gin? Who’s been hurt? Why are you here? What’s happened?” Harry started to panic, faces of Order members he knew flashing through his mind. “Harry, no! No, it’s nothing like that. Everyone is fine...or as fine as can be expected, what with...” The tears that filled Ginny’s eyes suddenly burst their dam. She stood before Harry, tears streaming down her pale face, disappearing into her bright hair and blue cloak. “Gin...?” Harry asked, uncertainly. He hadn’t really thought about how that night would have affected the others, not until now, seeing Ginny...bright, sunny, brave, smart Ginny... crying silently with grief, which he could only assume was for Sirius. You prat! He silently screamed at himself. You daft, insensitive, selfish prat! You’re not the only one whose been spending the summer in utter misery...how could you think that his death wouldn’t affect anyone but you? Imagine what things must be like in Grimmauld Place, being constantly reminded of who’s not there...Selfish prat! Harry was brought from his mental diatribe when Ginny sniffed loudly and wiped her streaming eyes on her cloak. “I’ve come to bring you back to Grimmauld Place. Mum and Dad don’t know I’ve come; they want to come get you...um, I think they said next week. I knew you couldn’t wait so long.” Harry looked up at her, wondering if his emotions were so easy to read. Yes, he wanted to be back with them...but not at Grimmauld Place. He didn’t think he could go back there ever again. It would make the loss of Sirius more painful...if that was even possible. “Ginny...I...” But he stopped as she put her hand up, signaling him to be quiet. Harry stopped talking, staring at a Ginny who looked tired and wan. She but a hand to her eye to wipe away a single tear, and spoke in a voice that had determination and sympathy, along with a deep and real understanding that surprised Harry, coming from someone that he had, for the last two years or so, regarded as uninterested in his life. “Harry, I know what you must think of going back...after what happened. Gods know that I’ve hardly been able to stand it, and I wasn’t as close to Sirius as you were. But, what helps me is knowing that I have people who love me to care for, and though it doesn’t lessen the hurt, it is a comfort to know that you’re loved...” “Yeah, but...Ginny...they’re your family. Its different for me...I’ve got no one, anymore.” Harry turned away, trying to keep the bitter note from his voice. Ginny walked quickly up to Harry, and, turning him around by the shoulders, kissed him fiercely. This action caught Harry completely off guard, and he just stood there, dumbstruck, as Ginny backed away with a new fire in her brown eyes. “Don’t you ever say that again, Harry Potter.” Her voice was deadly calm, but Harry could hear her shallow breathing, and saw the faint blush that colored her cheeks. “Never for a second do you ever doubt that we love you. You’re Mum’s favorite son, I think.” She laughed ironically. “And Dad has more respect for you than almost anyone else...you saved his life, Harry! You gave Fred and George the money for the shop...yes, I know about that.” She cut Harry off as he opened his mouth to deny it. “They can’t keep something like that from me for long. “Bill and Charlie argued with Mum for months after you saved Dad, saying that you should be in the Order, that you deserve it more than a lot of the current members. They trust you that much, they have faith in your abilities...we all do. You’re Ron’s best mate. Even if you are stupid boys who don’t show their feelings, you’d both die for each other as soon as blink, if it came to that. You’re the closest thing Hermione has to a brother, and I...” She stopped abruptly, turning away from him, cheeks still a faint shade of rose. Harry just stared. He had never thought about things in that light. Just hearing Ginny talk about his relationships with her family made him want to get his Firebolt and fly to them now. But there was one relationship that Harry was suddenly quite interested in examining... “You...what, Gin?” He asked softly, walking towards her, her back still turned towards him. Harry touched her shoulder gently and turned her to face him, looking down into her eyes, in which that slightly menacing fire still glowed. Ginny looked down, her head on a level with his chin, examining the collar of his shirt. “Well, Harry, lets just say that I’m still that ten-year-old inside, but now that little girl has a lot more than a silly crush on some famous, unattainable boy. Now she knows that boy as a human, rather than a legend. She knows that he is brave, smart, and powerful. But he’s also sad, and rather melodramatic sometimes.” She smiled at his chest. “She knows that he feels guilty for something that he couldn’t have prevented, and it’s killing her to watch him suffer.” She looked up into his eyes, emotions showing in her eyes that Harry couldn’t read. He thought he saw sympathy and pain, but also hope and...he couldn’t read it, but it gave him courage to do something that he never would have before. He cupped Ginny’s face with one large, Quidditch-rough hand, and leaned down to her face, eyes fixed on her lips. He heard Ginny gasp as his lips found hers, and she relaxed into his kiss. Her arms swung up to wrap around Harry’s neck, one finding the unruly hair at the back of his head. She deepened the kiss as Harry wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. They stood there, kissing tenderly, as the rain that had threatened since the night before dropped heavily around them. Harry finally broke the kiss, laughing as he saw Ginny’s now brilliantly pink face gazing up at him in wonder. He felt better than he had felt for nearly three months as he smoothed her hair from her face. Not caring about the later consequences, Harry pulled out his wand, and, swishing it exuberantly, yelled “Pack!” and shortly after, “Accio Trunk!” Both young magicians laughed as they saw Harry’s trunk floating toward them through the deserted streets of the town. When it settled at his feet, Harry opened it, found his cloak, and, swinging the black fabric over his shoulders, he secured his trunk to the broom with a fastening charm. Ginny left for a moment, and when she returned, she was carrying her Cleansweep 9. When they had both mounted their brooms, Harry leaned over to kiss Ginny once more, tenderly, on the lips. “Come on, Gin.” He whispered softly to her smiling face, “Let’s go home.” |
| Reviews 8 |
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