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Irony | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: PG Reviews: 5 Summary: Ginny Weasley is over Harry Potter, and has been for nearly two years. Everyone knows that. But is it true? Ginny confides her real feelings for her childhood crush in her diary Hitcount: Story Total: 4143 |
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Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but I do not. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time. February 14, 1997 Valentine’s Day is such a horrible holiday. Wait, scratch that, Valentine’s Day is only a horrible holiday for those of us without a significant other and so thusly have nothing to celebrate. Actually, I think Valentine’s Day might just be only a horrible holiday to me, because not only do I not have a boyfriend, but the person I want to be my boyfriend has no idea that I still like him. I have been in love with Harry potter for sixth years, five months, thirteen days five hours and twenty-three minutes. I mean, how sad is that? I have a bloody countdown of the first moment that I met the boy-who-lived, also known as Harry Potter. Oh course, I didn’t know who he was at the time. All I saw was a short, gangly young boy of about eleven with messy dark hair and startlingly green eyes. I don’t know why I fell head over heels with him at that moment, but I know I did. So, when I found out that the person I had just fallen in love with was the Harry Potter, I was, to say the least, a bit shocked. And then I grew really nervous around him. You know, stick your elbow in a butter dish and then send an embarrassing Valentine’s Day poem by dwarf, or whatever those creatures were. Nervous and shy and panicky, that was me. Of course, the fact that I spent my entire first year under the control of the dark lord didn’t really help in many respects. So when he saved me, I fell even more deeply in love with him. I mean, it created a bond between us. Oh course, Harry couldn’t care less about any kind of bond. I think that I embarrassed him, particularly as I was considered a silly little first year with a crush by most. I think that his embarrassment came from the fact that he didn’t know what to do about me, since he has never been the kind of person to think that he should be worshipped and adored, which could have easily caused what he considered to be my school girl adoration to leap to even greater heights. My second year was not as bad, although I don’t think that any year in my life shall ever come close to the horror that was five years ago. I rarely saw him, since he was always at work with something or other, trying to rid the world of all its evils, trying to single-handedly save the day, just as he has always strived to do. Hermione told me of last year of the night where he had the choice of killing Wormtail, who had caused his parents’ deaths, and yet he had still not given in to temptation, and he chose the noble thing to do. As we all grow older, we learn different skills, and such was the case with me. I learned how to hide my adoration of Harry Potter, and it seemed that everyone (but my beloved older brothers) had forgotten my silly fascination with the boy hero, or decided that it had run its course. I had just learned to hide it, however. When Ron was trying to help Harry, stuck without a date to the Yule Ball because Cho Chang had turned him down, and mentioned that he could always go with me, I realized that I couldn’t do that, even if I wasn’t already going to the ball with Neville. I couldn’t let myself become a second choice, a consolation prize. I had to be chosen because I'm me, not because there was no one else. I met Michael Corner at the dance, and he asked me to go out with him a few months later. I agreed, not because I had any special feelings for him, but with the hopes that it could help me get over Harry. Oh course, that was never possible. I mean, I saw him so much, considering that he is my brother’s best friend, that sometimes I just wanted to scream with the frustration. It didn’t help that everyone thought my crush on him was over, since I no longer blushed furiously whenever he came into my presence and I had accidentally let it “slip” to Hermione, Lavender and Pavarti that I was over him Last year was really a horrible year. I mean, I always saw Harry either depressed about what Voldemort had done or staring at Cho, when she wasn’t staring right back. The two of them made me sick after a while. I mean, seeing the boy of your dreams with another girl is never a soothing thing. But Harry has a way of doing things to your mind, things that no one would ever suspect he was doing. The real reason Michael and I broke up wasn’t really the quidditch game, although that was a leading cause. It was because he had accused me a few times of using him, or still liking Harry. Dean did the same thing while we were dating at the beginning of this year, and while I denied it to both boys, I was never any good at lying to myself. Harry is somehow the cause of everything I do. I don’t think I would have tried out for seeker last year if it hadn’t been Harry’s position, as though that would somehow bring him closer to me. I would never have gone to the Department of Mysteries if anyone else had been leading, no matter how much I had liked Sirius. He causes me to do things that I normally wouldn’t do, even though he has no idea he is doing them. I can see him out of the corner of my eye right now as I write here on the common room couch. He’s joking with Ron and Hermione about something, and I wish I could be included. I sometimes feel jealous of my brother, being able to spend so much time with him without anyone saying a thing or thinking anything suspicious. He’s unaware of my gaze, just as he always was. Once again I am invisible Ginny, Ron’s little sister. The stupid little girl with the stupid little diary who nearly got a load of people killed. The little girl who used to have an obsession with him. He looks around for a minute, and our eyes meet. His eyes give an impression of great sorrow, and wisdom and loss from time before memory. He’s staring, and I'm staring back, as though the entire world is made of us two. Suddenly he breaks the contact, and his gaze drops, looking back to Ron and Hermione So this is the irony of Valentine’s Day, the day of lovers and love. That I should feel so alone on a day of such warmth seems cruel, but life has a habit of doing things like that to me. Leaving me crying in the rain and the cold while others laugh in the warmth and sunshine. Harry, you were always there as a pillar of strength to me when it seemed like all else would fail. You were cursed with a burden most of us could not bear, and found yourself equal, no, greater to it. You have seen so much more than the rest of us, and yet your appearance is still as innocent as a child’s. You will always be watching over us, making sure that none get left behind, from the oldest to the youngest, from the strongest to the weakest. You do not curse the world for your problems, but instead try to prove that where it once appeared dark, there is light. That where once everything appeared hopeless, hope was still there, hidden inside us all. You are the one on who all hopes have been placed, the one who knows that the world is on his shoulders, and yet is not broken. The one who will never break, never fall prey to the doubts that are mankind’s downfall. Goodnight my hero, my savior, my love. Ginny Weasley |
| Reviews 5 |
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