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Be With Me | ||||
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Category: Pre-OotP Characters:Harry/Ginny Genres: Angst, Fluff, Drama Warnings: Sexual Situations Story is Complete Rating: R Reviews: 28 Summary: Just another H/G last night of the world fic. Pre OotP, but forshadows a bit. Angsty and sweet. Hitcount: Story Total: 7845 |
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It seemed as if nothing were amiss, that everything was as normal as it could possibly be, considering the circumstances. Hogwarts was always an oasis of sorts, away from the fighting. As much of an oasis as it could be, considering the dark events that touched our school weekly, if not daily. We all knew that we were in danger, that our families were fighting, some dying. But school just seemed to be a kind of alternate reality. Life...went on, for the most part. It would almost have looked like everything was perfect, that night. But I knew. I knew that nothing was as it seemed. I watched him from my place at the table, just a few seats down. He was putting up a valiant effort, eating what he could, trying to engage himself in conversation with his year-mates. If he seemed anxious and withdrawn, most passed it off as nothing new. Harry had become well known for his brooding nature. It seemed that everything was just as it always was, from the way he appeared. Appeared to others. Not to me. I can read him like a book. Since my fifth year there hasn't been a damn thing he can hide from me, as much as he tries, as much as he pushed me away. I let him push me. I let him. It was what he needed. Harry...God, it's a miracle he's capable of loving anything at all, what with those terrible Muggles who raised him. But he is. He's the most caring man I know. But he doesn't understand love. He doesn't understand people. He doesn't understand that love doesn't just go away because you want it to. He glanced at me, during a gap in his conversation. A brief glance, yes, but a lingering one. He didn't want to look away. And I didn't want him to. But he couldn't let me know that he still cared. Well, I knew anyway, in spite of all his manoeuvres to convince me otherwise. He knew. He knew something was coming. Something big. Something massive. And it terrified me. Harry didn't think that he was coming home. A dark, heaving feeling settled in my chest. He was going to leave. And he wasn't going to say goodbye. I dropped my knife and fork as if stunned. Emma, one of my year-mates, looked at me funny. "You all right, Ginny?" I nodded quickly. "I'm just...tired, I guess. I think I'll go upstairs." I stoop up and hurried out of the Hall. I could feel his eyes bore into my back. Was he a complete imbecile? Did he think I didn't know? I remembered, so clearly, what it was like the summer after my fourth year and into my fifth. How my old crush had returned like being buried alive, and the only thing that let me breathe at all was when Harry's lips were touching mine. How his eyes glowed when he looked at me. How warm my skin was whenever he was near, and how desperately I wanted - needed - him to touch me. How he had come back at the end of the year from an encounter with that bastard Riddle, with a terrible, broken look on his face. How he told me he never loved me, that he was just using me. That I would never be enough. That he was even seeing other girls. That I was fun while I lasted, but he really didn't have any use for me now, unless I really needed a good shag. No one in school really knew that we were together. Oh, there was the infamous Hogwarts rumour mill, but there wasn't anything that anyone could confirm. And as hurt as I was, I knew he was lying to me. Trying to protect me. But he didn't understand that I didn't feel protected without him. That I didn't feel that he was safe unless he had me. It sounds conceited. But it's true. Harry...I understood him, maybe better than anyone. He could talk to me and know that nothing would ever be judged, that nothing would ever come back to haunt him, that everything he said to me was safe. I didn't return to Gryffindor Tower. Because Harry wouldn't be going there tonight. I knew where he went when he was troubled. Lord knows I went there with him often enough. There's a small lounge on the third floor that no one ever uses. I'm not even sure that anyone really even knows about it. There isn't much to it; a bay window, some pillows, an overstuffed couch that's very comfortable when snogging one's boyfriend, a thin, colourful afghan, an old blanket I brought from the Burrow after Christmas because the afghan was rather itchy. It's one of my favourite places, even without Harry, and I sometimes when there even after he pushed me away, when I knew I wouldn't run into him. I never say we broke up. Because to me, we didn't. I never dated anyone after Harry. And he never saw anyone either. Well, I think he got drunk a couple times and fooled around with the Patils, but I don't really count that. I settled myself down on the window seat and waited. I didn't wait long. Harry had entered the room and closed the door before he even noticed me. "Were you going to say goodbye to me?" I asked. He jumped with a shout. "Ginny! What the blazes are you doing here?" "Trying to talk to you, Harry. Can I do that?" "Ginny, you really need to leave." Harry had back up against the far wall, putting as much space between him and me as he could. "I'm not going anywhere, Harry. Not until you talk to me." "Ginny, you don't understand." "Then explain it." "It isn't that simple." "Isn't what simple? Harry, I know you're trying to protect me. I know that you were lying to me last year. I know you never meant any of those things you said. I know all of it." "You don't." Harry's eyes were tightly closed, as if looking at me were some awful thing. "Then tell me! Harry, there was a time when there was nothing you couldn't tell me." "You think I don't want to?" he exploded at last. "Do you honest think that I don't want you to know? Ginny, Jesus, Ginny, all that I want is for you to be safe. I just want you to be safe and happy and grow old with a billion grandchildren and people that can love you like you deserve. And the only way any of that can happen is if you get as far away from me as possible." "What about what I want, Harry?" I shouted back, finally relieved to have the chance to say everything I'd wanted to in the past year. I came around the side of the couch. "Did you ever even think about that? I love you, Potter. I love you. That doesn't just go away because you want it to. You're what bloody well makes me happy. I don't care about being safe or old or any of it, because all I want is you." I reached up to touch his face, but he turned away, his eyes closed. "Why can't I have what I want, Harry? Why can't you let me love you like you deserve?" Harry didn't say anything a moment, but neither did he move away. When he opened his mouth, I was afraid he would say something stupid like "I don't deserve it." But he didn't. Instead, he whispered, "Because he'll see." "'He'll see'?" I repeated, finally pulling my hand down. "Who'll see? See what?" Harry stepped away from me. He sat heavily on the couch, and rubbed his hands with his palms. "Voldemort," he whispered. I took a step back. "He'll see. He'll see how much I love you, Ginny. He'll know." He looked up at me, tears glinting in those gorgeous emerald eyes I loved so well. "He's got my blood, Ginny. He can feel my emotions. If I'm not careful, he can see my thoughts. And I can see his. Ginny, some days it takes all my strength to keep him from finding out about you. Some days all I can do is stop this terrible need to destroy everything that I love, simply because He wants it. It works both ways, Gin. His behaviour is as erratic as mine is. But he could find out about you. He could know. He could...he could start to think he needs you the way I do. I can't let that happen, Ginny. I'm endangering everyone, everything, just by living." I sank down against the wall in horror. Tom was in his head. Tom was in his blood. Tom could know. Tom was in me. "Me, too," I whispered. Harry looked up. "What?" "Tom's in me. Voldemort's in me." "Ginny, what are you talking about?" "The Chamber of Secrets. He put his soul in me, Harry. There's some of him inside of me, even now. I hear him, sometimes, as he his now. I heard him after the Tri Wizard Tournament. I can hear his voice." Harry was stunned. "Ginny, how could you never say anything? I shrugged stupidly. "I don't know. It's...I was afraid, a little, I guess. And used to him, by the time we were close. If I had known how you were with him, more than just the dreams, I might have said something." "I didn't understand what was happening, until the end of sixth year. Just before I- Ginny, I'm so sorry. I just-" "I know, Harry," I smiled slightly. "You were scared." "I am scared." "Me too." "I could have been nicer about it." "No, you couldn't have. If you had been, I would have gotten the chance to turn you around." Harry didn't reply. "I know you're not sorry for what you did, Harry. You're sorry for how you did it, but not for what you did." "I'd do it again, Gin." "I know." Silence fell on our little room again. Harry was shaking his head, regretting his choices. I was lost in though myself. Harry's link to Voldemort didn't change what I wanted. It didn't change my feelings. "So you're leaving?" "It's not that I'm leaving, Ginny. He's coming." "Tom?" "Yes." "When?" " Tomorrow." "Tomorrow? Does anyone else-" "Dumbledore. Snape. That's it. The rest of the school won't be involved, if I can help it." "They're letting you go alone?" "There will be Aurors. An attack on Hogsmeade. He'll be there." Silence. Tomorrow. My whole life, my whole world, all my dreams, everything came down to tomorrow. "When?" "Evening." "So you can stay tonight." "Ginny-" "Harry, one way or the other this ends tomorrow. If you die and He lives, then I'm not safe anyhow. If you live, then there's nothing lost. It doesn't matter if Tom finds out about us now. And I'd rather have you take me with you than think I'm angry with you, or that I don't love you, or any of those things that aren't true." "Ginny," he said again, but I cut him off once more. "Don't leave me without you, Harry," I whispered. I knelt at his feet. Taking his strong, broom calloused hands in mine, I said, "I love you, Harry. I love you more than anything. Don't be alone tonight. Be with me." Harry's breath quickened as I placed soft kisses on his fingers, my eyes never leaving his. In once strong motion he pulled me up and onto his lap. I smiled as he mouth found mine at long last. I had missed this. All my thoughts, all my worries began to slide away as I felt his tongue enter my mouth. I sighed, and disentangled my hands from his. Slowly I began to loosen his tie and open the clasp to his outer robe. My fingers worked at his buttons as Harry slid me off his lap and onto the couch with a groan. I shivered as his hands slid under my shirt, massaging my stomach and ribs. Harry pulled at my tie with one hand, the other still moving over my torso. At last I had undone his shirt and opened it to reveal his firm muscles beneath. Years of Quidditch and Defence training had done wonders on his body. I love the feel of his bare skin against my fingers, and I moaned as I felt Harry's hands dance over my own nearly naked upper body. My moans grew louder as he felt my breasts through the fabric of my bra. Desperately one of his hands reached behind my back and undid the clasp, though not without difficulty. Harry and I hadn't practiced that in a long time. The cold air combined with Harry's ministrations had rendered my nipples hard as rocks by the time Harry's fingers began to pull at them. I gasped in pleasure, licking and sucking at his neck and shoulder. Harry's mouth blazed at trail over my collarbone, and I very nearly screamed when his mouth finally latched over my breast, rolling his tongue against it, and I did scream when his teeth gently but firmly pulled at my breast. The heat that was growing inside of me was almost unbearable. Harry had undone the zipper of my skirt and was tugging at my knickers when I forced myself upright and him back on the couch. "Ginny!" he exclaimed. My skirt slid down my thighs and I kicked it away impatiently, then peeled off my socks. "There are far too many articles involved in this stupid uniform if you ask me, Mr. Potter," I told him firmly. I began to unbuckle his belt. "I agree. You look much better without any of them." He smiled and pulled me down for a deep kiss, which I broke by swatting him playfully. "You still haven't seen me without at least some of them." "Well, you seem to be rectifying that situation very efficiently, Miss Weasley," he commented as I opened his trousers and started shrugging them off of him. "I plan on rectifying a lot of situations tonight, Mr. Potter." My hand ran over the tent in his boxers. "Ginny," he rasped. His eyes were very bright. "You know- I mean- I don't-" "If you don't want to Harry," I said, and my hand started to leave the elastic band of his boxers "Oh, I want to," he growled as he pulled be back down onto the couch. "But only if-" "I'm ready, Harry. Please." Harry studied my eyes a moment, and found whatever it was he was looking for, because in the next moment his mouth was on mine and his tongue was against mine and his hand were tangled in my hair and my fingers were threaded through his dark strands. He leaned me back against the sofa once more. I whimpered as his mouth left mine, but it fell back a moment later on my neck and then lower, and lower, and soon I didn't know were his mouth was and where his hands were and all I knew was that I wanted more, that I never wanted to separate his skin from mine. Somehow my knickers were gone and his boxers were being kicked away and there was nothing between us any more. One of my legs was thrown over the couch, and we were both panting with desire. He looked into my eyes, and for a moment I was afraid he was going to ask me again, but he didn't. His mouth covered mine, breaking the kiss only to whisper, "I love you," before he was inside of me. Pan and pleasure and a bit of pain and a lot more pleasure, and his body against mine, in mine, and all sorts of fabulous, wonderful things running through my mind and body. I heard a voice crying out in ecstasy, and detachedly realised it was me. Harry breath was cool and fast on my skin. I felt as if on fire. My whole body arched into his, and he thrust wildly into me. I screamed. I felt as if the top of my head were coming off in the most wonderful fashion, that my body was being blown in two directions at once. Harry's body tensed at the same time mine did, and as he shuddered I felt him boil inside of me. We fell back against the sofa, still panting, covered in sweat, wonderfully tired. Harry reached over the side of the sofa to pull the blanket and the afghan over us, careful even then to make sure the blanket covered us first and then the itchy wool afghan. I kissed the corner of his mouth, and his face turned to kiss me again. "I love you, Ginny," he whispered. "I love you, too." I curled into his chest, felt him kiss my hair. "You're so beautiful. I'll never leave you," he mumbled as he fell asleep. I smiled softly, my eyes barely open. They felt so heavy with sleep. As I finally gave in, I knew that no matter what happened tomorrow, everything was all right now. |
| Reviews 28 |
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