Search:

SIYE Time:12:59 on 29th March 2024
SIYE Login: no


Reassure Me
By chell_e_bean

- Text Size +

Category: Post-OotP
Characters:All
Genres: Angst
Warnings: Dark Fiction
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 13
Summary: This is a one-shot I've been holding onto for a while, but I am feeling brave. It is a story about the direct aftermath of the Final Battle. R/R...
Hitcount: Story Total: 3993







ChapterPrinter


Reassure Me


He couldn’t believe what he had become. His whole body shook, not with elation at having finally conquered his greatest foe, his adversary, his antithesis, but with disgust and hatred…for himself.

He had done what needed to be done; what he had been expected to do and he hated himself for it. He knew, had known for years, that his other option would have been to die and leave the rest of the world at his enemy’s mercy, but he had never known which was the worst of these two fates: to be the murderer or the murdered.

His breath was ragged and he could barely steady himself as he half ran, half crawled through the under brush. The scene behind him was one he could never erase from his mind, though he would have liked nothing more. The high-pitched laughing of his nemesis that had been in his head for so many years had now been replaced by the agonized moaning of the man he had killed.

He stumbled through the dense forest, hoping to make it home without seeing anyone. Everyone would know what his emergence from the forest meant and all would want a full account of how and when the miracle had occurred. He didn’t want to think about it; couldn’t bear to talk about it.

As the trees thinned and a clearing came into view, he paused to look around. He could see no one in close proximity, although an all out battle had raged here mere hours before. There was desolation everywhere he looked, but not one soul to spy him. His friends’ faces flashed through his mind and he had a brief moment of concern for all of their lives. He stepped into the clearing and wanted to scream, to cry, to fall to the ground in agony, but he couldn’t. He had to get back before he was seen.

As he made his way to the gates of the castle, he saw her. She was staring through a window into the darkness of the forest, apparently looking for him, waiting. He stopped and watched her, suddenly aware that his feelings of isolation had vanished and had been forcefully replaced by a need to be with her.

He willed her to look at him and not make a display of seeing him. As their eyes met, brown to green, he saw shock, then understanding, flicker on her face and she simply turned from the window. For a moment he thought she might have turned away to give him time to come up to them. Then he saw Hermione’s bushy head poke out the window and dart around frantically, searching for what had distracted her friend.

He inched as close to the walls as he could, hoping Hermione had not seen him, unaware of why he did not want her to. Then there were footsteps on the stairs to the castle and Hermione was gone. He turned to see where the steps had come from and was met by piercing brown eyes and a flailing mass of red hair.

He could read fear and relief all over her face, but she said nothing. He knew Hermione would have cried and Ron would have asked loads of questions; she simply waited for him.

“Ginny,” he sobbed, launching himself in her direction.

She met him half way and they clung to each other.

“You’re alive! We’ve all been so worried, waiting for you to return,” Ginny said into his hair as she cradled his injured form in her arms. “As soon as they realized you were gone, the Death Eaters vanished and we were all sent back to the castle. It was like we all knew this was it.”

“Ginny,” he said, looking up into her face, fearing what he had to tell her. “I-he’s-“ He couldn’t say it out loud, not to her. She couldn’t know, but she had to know. She had been one of the first to learn what the prophecy had said, to know his fate.

“Harry, it’s okay,” she said, smiling a smile that was not false, but showed no mirth. “He’s gone. You’ve done it, you’re finished.”
Where relief at her understanding what he felt would usually have bubbled up in him, he suddenly felt anger and shame arise.

“I have to leave here. I’m a- I don’t deserve any of this, any of you.” He stood to walk away, leaving her kneeling on the grass.

Harry felt as if the world had betrayed him. He had done what he was supposed to. He had “saved” the world, as Ginny had not quite said; yet he didn’t belong in the world anymore. His friends were lost to him; they would never understand what had happened that night. None of them had ever truly known how horrible Lord Voldemort had been-none of them except Ginny.

“Ginny,” he turned to look at her, the smallest amount of hope rising in his heart. “Come with me. You’re the only person who will understand what happened tonight and why I have to leave.”

Ginny gazed at him with a torn expression on her face. He knew he sounded manic; he felt that way, too. But he also knew he needed to stay near her. She could keep him sane.

“Please, Gin, I’m going anyway. It will just be easier with you there.”

She continued to stare, the shock at his words evident in her expression.

He turned on his heel, muttering, “fine.” He couldn’t believe that he had thought she would join him in his cowardice.

“Harry, stop.” She had stood up and reached him before he had realized what was going on. “You can’t just run away. You are a hero, Harry, not a killer. People will want to know what happened.”

“That’s just it, Gin,” he bellowed at her. “I don’t want to tell them. It was awful and I have MURDERED someone.” His tone softened to a whisper. “I don’t deserve praise,” he said flatly.

She simply stared at him, disbelief and concern etched onto her face. “Would you rather have died?” she asked.

He met her gaze again and knew she could see the answer in his eyes: he didn’t know what he would have prefer.red “Who wants to be friends with a murderer? Everyone will know what I am and I will become an outcast. I don’t want to know me anymore.”

“How can you think that?” It was Ginny’s turn to shout. “People will be celebrating you and having parties in your honor.” She looked at the ground, assuaging her tone. “We have known for a long time what you had to do. My parents never stopped caring for you. Ron and Hermione are still as loyal as ever.” She paused, placing his face between her hands. “And I-I love you more than I ever thought possible.”

He stared into her face, incredulous at what he was hearing. The warmth of her hands on his cheeks and the sincerity in her voice made the horror somersaulting in his mind and heart lessen. He felt grounded for the first time since Voldemort had fallen.

He opened his mouth to speak, but was rendered mute as she covered his lips with hers. The contact sent visions swirling through his mind; visions of white gowns and flowers, twirling around a dance floor, smiling Weasleys, and babies with flaming red hair and jade green eyes.

The kiss lasted mere seconds, but Harry’s entire life flashed before his eyes and he knew, with a certainty he had never felt before, that he was supposed to be alive and that this was the woman for whom he was destined to live. He kissed her again, calm for the first time in years, and whispered, “I love you, Ginevra.”

Ginny grabbed his hand and squeezed it, guiding him up the steps toward the castle. Harry knew it was going to be a long night and a long few weeks ahead, but, with Ginny by his side, he thought he might be able to manage.


A/N: I wrote this a while ago and have never felt it was good enough to send out into the world. But, I looked over it again today and, before I could think too much on it, I posted. I hope you liked it...let me know what you think. :)
Reviews 13
ChapterPrinter




../back
‘! Go To Top ‘!

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Grey Media Internet Services. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & © 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site © 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork © 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code © 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding © 2008 by melkior and Bear