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SIYE Time:15:12 on 29th March 2024
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Living
By Buttamellow

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Angst
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 22
Summary: "There were times when I didn't curse him (or want to, that is) for what I was feeling. But those were the times I cursed myself most because I knew -beyond a doubt- he would never feel the same." (Possible One-Shot)
Hitcount: Story Total: 3714







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Living
Buttamellow

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Dear Diary,

Sometimes it's really hard to admit when you're missing someone. Especially someone who probably doesn't even know that you think about them, let alone miss them, when they're gone. I've always had trouble expressing my feelings, especially when it comes to him.

He's had my heart for a long time although I'm pretty sure he doesn't know it. There were times when I convinced myself that I hated him. Times where I never wanted to see his face again. Times where I cursed his existence and everything that he had ever done to me.

But...there were also times when just seeing him made me smile. Where his presence made my skin tingle and hearing his name made my heart jump.

There were times when I didn't curse him (or want to, that is) for what I was feeling. But those were the times I cursed myself most because I knew -beyond a doubt- he would never feel the same.

And then-

Just when I thought I had gotten over him completely; just when I thought I had taken control- he had to pop back into my life again.

Fate likes to play jokes on people. Irony is a bitch.

Just when I think that I'm over him, he starts thinking about me. I've even heard that he asks about how I'm doing sometimes.

So not fair.

Because then I know that I was never truly over him as I had so strongly convinced myself that I was. I never truly forgot the look of his face, or that tingle, or my heart jumping. Because...it still happens.

And that's what hurts the most.

Knowing that he can still affect me as much as he does now. Knowing that he doesn't even know that he's doing it.

I should curse him. I should hate him. I should want to never see his face again and scowl angrily when I hear his name or anything that has to do with him.

But I can't.

Because he's been through so much. Been to Hell and back, some say. And there've been times that have been so hard that even the darkest nightmares might easily be compared to fairy tales dreams. And- he could've walked away from it and turned his back on everyone. But he didn't.

And I think I've finally figured it out.

I would rather him be happy with someone else if that's how it's meant to be. I'd rather myself be lonely if he were truly happy. And although I'd rather see him look at me with that look, I'm content to see him look that way at someone else.

Because, although I haven't given up. I've given in. I've accepted it as such. And, if things change and he finally sees me for who I am. Then great. But if he doesn't...

Well, I'll live.

Ginevra Molly Weasley



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A/N: Alright guys, It's totally up to you. Should this be a one-shot or should I continue? It has potential to be a prologue, but it also works well as a one-shot. Like I said though, completely up to you.

Hope you liked it.

Much Love,

Buttamellow

Reviews 22
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