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SIYE Time:8:29 on 29th March 2024
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Take Me As I Am
By AuroraGrace

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 23
Summary: Harry and Ginny put aside their fears and doubts and find safety where they belong, with each other.
Hitcount: Story Total: 5629







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Disclaimer: I obviously don't own these two, they are completely and totally the property of Ms. Rowling. The song "Take Me As I Am" belongs to "Jekyll and Hyde" which subsequently belongs to Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse, neither of whom are me.
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Harry Potter woke to a crack of daylight across his face and wonderful smells wafting through his flat. He stumbled out of his bed and made his way into the kitchen. His head was pounding, his throat sore, his eyes ached and every muscle in his body seemed to scream with stiffness, nothing seemed to be in working order. It felt as if he had spent the entire night drinking copious amounts of alcohol and playing Quidditch upside down.


He collapsed at the smooth wooden table, his head on his aching arms. A mug was gently pushed into his hand, startling him and causing him to snap his head up. After the stars, caused by the jolt of his head, cleared from the his eyes, he found himself looking at his best friend’s younger sister and his current flat mate. It had been Ginny’s cooking that had smelled so wonderful when he had woken up. She was standing by the stove, fully dressed and groomed, shoveling eggs and bacon onto a plate which she subsequently set in front of Harry.


“So, a heavy night of partying,” questioned a chipper Ginny as she sat down with her own mug clasped in her hands.


All Harry could muster was a weak grunt before he gulped down a mouthful of scalding, black coffee, “Training,” he mumbled and them quickly finished his cup.


“Oh,” Ginny replied, drowning her good mood in her own mouthful of the caffeine infused liquid.


The silence was deafening, suffocating, and oppressive but Harry’s stupor was so great and Gunny’s awkwardness was so acute, neither of them broke it. This living arrangement was rather new to the both of them and they hadn’t quite gotten used to it. It was funny that after four months, they still hadn’t gotten over the discomfort than comes with new flat mates, granted usually people’s new flat mates aren’t their exes.


When the trio had graduated from school, Harry and Ron had found a flat immediately and moved into it directly afterwards. The both of them had gone into an intensive training program by Dumbledore and Snape. Hermione had gone abroad to study Eastern medicine and healing. When she had returned, Ginny had also graduated and had begun further studies of ancient charms, looking for one that would somehow weaken the dark forces of Voldemort’s growing army. The two young women followed in their compatriots foot steps and also found a flat nearby.


With the growing, darkening threat looming over their heads, Hermione and Ron had decided that they could no longer hide the feelings they had for each other. In the short span of four months, they had professed their love for each other, dated, married, and were expecting their fist child. Of course this had altered the situation of the four substantially. Hermione had quite suddenly, and not so gently, informed Ginny that Ron was going to be moving into their flat and she, quite obviously, had to leave. Hermione was not without compassion for her now homeless best friend, or at least in her own mind she wasn’t.


Since Hermione was taking away Harry’s flat mate, she found the logical conclusion must have been that Ginny take that place. Hermione, however “helpful” she was trying to be, seemed to have blocked out the fact that since Harry and Ginny had gone through a particularly nasty break up, the two of them hadn’t really been friends again. Of course they had always been polite and incredibly civil to each other but never any more than that. Unfortunately, the newlyweds quickly expelled Ginny from the flat and she really had no choice but to move in with her ex.


Though they had fallen into a relatively comfortable routine, most of their interaction remained polite and restrained. Except for the occasional slip into their pre-dating behavior, they remained aloof, like people who had never previously know each other. It was like they had simply chosen the flat from an ad in the paper, not knowing each other at all. This made it especially uncomfortable when they ran into each other on the way to or from the shower. On the whole, since they were both so busy with the war and were rarely ever home, it was a relatively OK, but a rather sterile, environment.


The scene on this particular morning was not much of a deviation from their regular routine. When they had been dating, and had the chance to spend the night together, they had always risen and had breakfast together. Their morning routine now was quite similar to that one but usually silent and much faster. Each morning , the one who woke first would head into the kitchen, fully dressed and completely appropriate, and start breakfast. Granted, when Harry was the early riser, breakfast usually consisted of cereal or toast as opposed to Ginny’s full fledged breakfasts. The second would come bumbling out and partake in a silent meal. Not the most uplifting way to live, but during a war, it didn’t really matter they were just happy to be alive each day to eat breakfast.


Ginny finished her cup quickly and rose from the table, taking her empty dishes with her. She filled the sink with soapy water and began to wash the breakfast dishes. Harry’s head cleared a bit after his second cup of coffee and a few bites of food. He found himself less like a large lump sitting at the kitchen table and more like himself. He sat up at the table and let his eyes wander over the clean, sunny room. The window was open and the bright morning sun was streaming in along with a gentle, warm breeze. The window looked over a grassy field and in the distance Hogsmeade buzzed with life. It was so easy to forget, on days like this, that there was anything wrong in the world. His gaze left the sunny window and swept over to the other occupant of the room. Ginny was absorbed quite totally in the hot, soapy water, working on a particularly tough spot on the pan she was washing. Her hair had been pulled back into a messy bun and secured with a chopstick but a strand had come loose and fallen into her eyes. She reached a soapy hand up and tried to secure it out of her face without much luck. As she lifted her head, her hair caught the sunlight and it was as if her head was surrounded by a halo of shimmering fire.


Harry’s breath caught in his throat in a strangled gasp at the simple beauty in front of him. He felt a flood of emotions wash over him, ones that he hadn’t felt for years, emotions he never thought he would feel again. The two of them had danced around their feelings throughout school until his seventh year when they had entered into a consuming, no holds barred relationship headed to something even more intense. It had been quickly speeding towards a happily-ever-after when Ginny had been kidnapped by Voldemort’s minions. She had been safely rescued but Harry, convinced that he was the reason she had been put in danger, brutally pushed her away and retreated into himself. He burrowed so far within his own head, not even Ron or Hermione could bring out genuine feelings in him. He had so carefully constructed his extra strength barrier, he was shocked by the simple thing that had brought them spilling through it.


Harry smiled when he thought of the scene in front of him. This was what he had always wanted. Ever since he had realized his strong feelings for the fiery red head, his ultimate dream had been to marry her and create a family of their own. Harry watched her in all of her domestic glory, his imagination adding a glittery gold band on her finger. He could almost hear the pattering of little feet and shouting of childish voices filtering form the other rooms of the flat. He rose from his seat and made his way over to the young woman who had always been the love of his life. He laid a hand on her arm and turned her to face him.


“Harry,” Ginny’s voice was full of question, as she looked into his eyes that were full of a love that she had never expected to see there again. That question turned into alarm when he took her in his arms and bent his head down to kiss her. She pushed him away hard with anger blazing in her eyes, she demanded, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”


Her sharp tone broke him out of the strange, rediscovered love stupor, and a huge wave of embarrassment washed over the raven haired hero. He stood in front of the steaming Ginny, not having anything to say about his odd behavior. He seemed to realized that he was standing there stupidly after a few minutes and he rapidly turned on his heel and blindly stumbled out of the room.


Sometimes I see,


Past the horizon


Sure of my way,


Where I am going


He found refuge in his room, shutting the door and the blinds, leaving him in semi-darkness. Ginny was not the only one who had been shocked by his actions in the kitchen. He was grateful for the darkness because he was sure that his entire face was blazing red. He laid his hand to his cheek and was shocked to discover that not only was it hot with embarrassment, but also wet with tears. He had been working so hard to suppress those feelings, the force that they had come back with was almost painful. Ginny had always held a special place in his heart. She was the most important person in the world to him and that meant she would always be in danger. No matter how much he wanted to hold her, no matter how much it hurt him to see her without his arms around her, he couldn’t let her safety be in question.


He could still see her face when he had broken up with her. She had just gotten out of the hospital wing and was pale, and skinny. She looked as if someone could take her in their hands and snap her in half. He watched her limping across the Hogwarts grounds towards him and he couldn’t help but think that it was his fault. He couldn’t let her get hurt again because of him, he wouldn’t let it happen. When she had reached him, he told her that she no longer meant anything to him. She had begged him not to leave her, told him that it couldn’t have been his fault, that she didn’t blame him, and that she loved him. But Harry’s mind had been made up and there was nothing that was going to change it. He had walked away from her convinced that it was the only way to save her life.


Harry reached under his pillow and withdrew two photos. He turned the first over and ran his fingers over it. It was a picture of himself and Ginny long before her abduction. It was the two of them sitting on the highest bench of the seats in the Quidditch pitch. It was his favorite picture of the two of them, they were both laughing and smiling as if they had no cares in the world. The whole world could have been falling apart but at that moment, nothing mattered to either of them. Harry loved this picture, he loved the way Ginny’s hair was blowing wild and shining like flames in the sun. He love the laughter shining out of their smiles and eyes and the safety in their clasped hands. He had wanted their lives to always be just the way they looked in that picture. Unfortunately, that was not what fate had wanted.


The other picture was very similar to the first one, it was a photo of a stunning red head and a bespectacled, onyx haired man. At first glance, one would think it was another photo of Harry and Ginny, but upon further inspection one would see a different couple. The red head in this picture was wearing a gorgeous white gown and the young man’s eyes were a honey hazel instead of bright green, this was a picture of Lily and James. This photo had obviously been taken sometime over the course of their wedding day. They were dancing under an arbor of roses, looks of complete love and happiness on their faces. Harry loved watching this picture. His parents would dance and share tender kisses and every once and awhile, James would scoop Lily into his arms and spin, both of them laughing all the while.


When Ginny and Harry had been a couple, he would look at this picture and imagine that it was the two of them. He had been so sure that they would share the same thing that his parents had. He had wanted them to be happy like that, he still wished that they could have been.


But where’s the prize


I had my eyes on?


Where?


There is just no knowing.


Harry lost himself in the two photos of some of the most important people in his life and was startled by a knock on his door.


“Harry, um, can I come in,” the unmistakable voice of Ginny broke his thoughts.


He hurriedly stuffed the two photos under his pillow and wiped his cheeks before going to the door and opening it to the very woman he had just been pining over. She stood in the doorway for a few moments before striding purposefully into the semi-dark room.


“Harry,” she began to say something but was quickly interrupted.


“Look, Ginny, I’m sorry. That was completely inappropriate. I promise it won’t happen again.”


“Harry, what is going on with you? I know you. I know something is bothering you.”


“Ginny, this isn’t fair. Our lives aren’t fair, both of ours and everyone else’s. It’s not fair that children can’t play outside. It’s not fair that husbands are loosing their wives. It’s not fair that Hermione and Ron don’t know if they will live for their baby’s first birthday. It’s not fair that we can’t be together,” all of his words flowed out with a rush of emotion that Ginny hadn’t ever seen from Harry that surprised both of them.


Ginny was silent for what seemed like hours to Harry, and then so softly it was almost a whisper, “We can’t be together?”


Harry hadn’t realized that in his outpouring of the indignities of their world he had revealed what he had been trying to hide from the world and himself. He hadn’t ever wanted to tell her how he felt, he didn’t want to put her in danger again. His love was too dangerous. How he wanted to love her and let that consume him. He didn’t want to loose her again. He wanted to throw caution to the wind and take her in his arms again. She was the only person who really knew him and the only person who could help him.


And when despair


Tears me in two


Who can I turn to but you?


You know who I am…


Take me as I am


“Harry? Harry,” Ginny prodded, “What is going on with you?”


Harry still didn’t respond to her, not knowing how he was going to explain himself to her. He was so tired of lying to the world, to himself, and most importantly, to her. He wanted to let go. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her how scared he was. He wanted to connect with her again.


“Harry,” she tried again, “This is stupid. I am so tired of this. I know you. I might know you better than anyone in the world. I know something is wrong. Well something is always wrong with you, but something’s different. Something’s changed. Harry, you’ve got to tell me!”


Still Harry was mute, not able to think of the right words to say. He didn’t know which story he wanted to tell.


Ginny’s gentle questioning was losing it’s gentility and increasing in sharpness as she lost her temper with Harry’s silence, “Harry James Potter, if you don’t talk to me right now, I will hex you so badly, your toes will be coming out of your ears. Now, talk to me!”


Harry lifted his head an looked directly into her flashing brown eyes and finally opened his mouth, “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to start.”


“Harry, I don’t care what you say, as long as you start telling me the truth. Please open up to me. You did once. You trusted me once. This is me. You know me. You loved me.”


Look in my eyes,


Who do you see there?


Someone you know?


Or just a stranger?


“And look what happened because of it. You almost got killed because I loved you. I don’t want to do this.”


“Harry, please don’t do this. You have to talk to me. You owe me that. You broke my heart, you owe me.”


“I can’t Ginny. This is too dangerous. I can’t let you get hurt again because of me.”


Ginny’s eyes filled with tears and she reached out to her lost love, “Is that why? Harry, I didn’t get kidnapped because of you. Harry, my family is one of the most prominent pureblood families in the forefront of the side of light. We’re to the good what the Malfoys are to the evil. All of them view us as blood traitors, a crime just as bad as being Harry Potter’s girlfriend. Harry, you didn’t put me in danger, my heritage did. If your love did anything for me, it made me stronger. Your love made me safe. Please believe me, you made me whole.”


If you are wise,


You will see me there.


Love…


Is the only danger.


Ginny sat down next to her once lover. She reached up and gently touched his forehead. She brushed a stray lock of his unruly hair back so his thin, red scar was exposed. She laid a cool, smooth finger to the angry skin and traced the thin lightening bolt. She trailed her finger and hand down the side of his face and cupped his cheek in her palm. A soft tear rolled down his skin and she wiped it away with her thumb. At her gentle touch, Harry’s eyes, that had been closed, drifted open and the green fused with brown. A bond that had been too long broken was instantly formed again.


“I love you,” two voices harmonized the same phrase and were cut short with a searing kiss.


Love…meaning me.


Love…meaning you.


“No. Ginny, I can’t,” Harry broke off and backed away from her.


“Harry Potter, you stop this nonsense right this minute,” she grabbed his hand and pulled him into another kiss, not letting him pull away again.


“Ginny, I couldn’t take it if something happened to you again. If it did I would hate myself forever. It would be my fault.”


“Harry,” Ginny sighed as she spoke, “Something just might happen to me, to you, to any of us. I would rather be with you, loving you and a little bit less safe than live without you and be perfectly secure. That’s why Hermione and Ron’s life has been on fast forward. They aren’t going to let fear live their lives for them. Please don’t let it rule ours.”


Harry turned from Ginny trying to collect himself, “No…”


She pushed by him and reached under his pillow. His eyes grew as big as dinner plates and reached out to snatch the photos back. Unfortunately for Harry, Ginny was too quick for him and she scrambled out of his reach.


She waved the picture of his parents in front of his face, “Don’t you want this Harry? I know you do. Harry, I still love you and you quite obviously still love me,” she added upon looking at the other photo, “Let it go. Let down the barriers and just love me. We can make it work.”


We’ll make our one dream come true.


You know who I am…


Take me as I am.


Harry smiled the first real smile that he had smiled in years and gently plucked the photos out of her hands. He laid them on the table next to the bed and then he laid his own palms onto her now empty hands and they laced their finger together. With a little tug, he brought her up against him and the bottled passion of two years broke over them. Suddenly there was no other person in the world. The only people that existed were the flame girl and the coal headed boy. The fire that seemed to have died quickly and forcefully broke into an uncontrollable blaze.


Though fate won’t always do what we desire,


Still we can set the world on fire.


Ginny snuggle into the nook under Harry’s arm and laid her head on his chest. The gentle rhythm of his heart was like music, a song that she had missed dearly. She had so missed the beat of his heart , the rise and fall of his breath, and the soothing feeling of him running his hand through her curls. She had missed him so much and she was never going to let that music escape from her again.


Harry sighed with his happiness, feeling Ginny snuggle up against him. He had so missed the warmth of her little body against him. He had missed the silky curls that fell through his fingers with ease. He had so very much missed clasping her soft hand in his bigger, rough one. He pulled her hand closer to his body and laid a soft kiss on her knuckles. He loved the security of her love and he was never going to let that hand go.


Give me your hand,


Give me your heart,


Swear to me we’ll


Never part.


Ginny looked up at Harry and smiled. Over the two years they had been hiding their feelings she had never stopped hoping that she could find her way back into his heart. She hadn’t ever loved anyone like she loved him. Despite his faults, fears, and insecurities, there would never be another man for her. Despite the world, the evil and death, that surrounded them, Ginny had found heaven in Harry’s arms.


Harry’s eyes grazed over Ginny’s head, his eyes locked with her’s and their smiles met. He was amazed that he was finally holding her in his arms again. Every night he had slept alone, he had wished to have her snuggled up against him. Every day he had lived without telling her how much he loved her, a little bit of him had been eaten away. If she had a fault, he couldn’t see it, she was perfection and she was safe where she belonged, with him.


You know who I am.


This is who I am.


Take me as I am.



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A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my humble little story. I would be eternally grateful if you could take a little more time and review it.
Reviews 23
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