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SIYE Time:4:55 on 29th March 2024
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Dice
By Spidey

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:All
Genres: Fluff, Drama
Warnings: Sexual Situations, Dark Fiction
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 9
Summary: It's a new year; it's a new start.
Hitcount: Story Total: 4263







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A/N: I still dont own Harry Potter...that belongs to the delightful J.K Rowling....and the song aint mine either...The song is "Dice" by Finely Quaye and William Orbit
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Somewhere down in the common room, a clock chimed 8pm on December 31st, and from his bed, only the raven-haired boy, with the dull emerald eyes could hear it cut through the silence he had immersed himself in.
He could vaguely hear the music and laughter that emanated from the great hall if he listened hard enough, but he didn’t want to listen, the past week had changed his and everyone’s lives forever, and while they were willing to bury the horrific memories, and move on, enjoy themselves tonight and live their lives.
He was not.

True, the final battle had been gruesome and they had all seen things that no amount of Prozac or medication could bleach from their brains, the best thing was, for them to accept it and move on, which is why Dumbeldore had suggested a New Year’s Eve party, no one seemed to care at first, but gradually their attitudes began to change.
Except his.

For him, it was just a lame excuse for all the idiots at the school, to drink firewhiskey and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless consumer- driven lives. That, he thought, had been a bit harsh, but after what he had been through, he’d started to doubt whether he would ever feel again, and his faith in humanity and its kindness had taken a severe beating. He had seen things that made his blood curdle and make even the worst of nightmares seem like a pleasant dream. Though he had been lucky, nearly everyone he loved and cared about had made it through, maybe with one less limb, cuts, broken bones, broken minds but they made it through, with the exception of Bill and Malfoy.

He was surprised to find out that he was really upset about Malfoy; only during the battle did he realize how alike him and Malfoy were. Malfoy was only placed in Slytherin because of his bloodline, but they all found out where his loyalties lied, and Harry had the distinct impression that apart from his bloodline he would’ve been a Gryffindor, he had killed his own father only to die for what was right.
Harry had only found out a day later what his life was really like, when Malfoy’s journals were delivered to him, on Malfoy’s orders. The accompanying letter had imprinted itself across the inside of his skull and he would not forget it, he wouldn’t forget Malfoy’s writing, telling him he wanted Harry to have them, to understand why he was so cold, to apologize for his actions and why he was not here in the land of the living repairing “burnt bridges”. He was appalled to discover that Malfoy had been beaten, and how his father had littered his body with cigarette burns, how he had been molested by various Death Eaters and his memory modified, how he was a test subject for his father to try new curses on him, he told how his mother was his best friend and well respected, she knew things that Lucius didn’t and how unlike Draco, his Father never, in anyway, hurt his mother.

~*~*~*~*~
I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Where your garden have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care you compare, don’t say farewell
~*~*~*~*~

Bill had been working with Ragnock and the other goblins securing Hogwarts and strengthening the wards, when they were attacked. Ragnock and Bill had fought the Death Eaters, protecting the others until the wards had been finished, they lead the Death Eaters away from the castle, and had thought they had the situation under with 6 Death Eaters at their feet and sent for help, when Voldemort’s army of Death Eaters and dark creatures alike had come from the forest and murdered them all, 26 goblins along with Bill and Ragnock had lost their lives, they hung Bill and Ragnock from trees leading into the forbidden forest, a sign, Dumbeldore had said, that the last great war had begun.

Students had lost their lives; their friends, brothers, sisters, teachers, mothers, fathers and villagers also had their lives stolen from them. A body count of 498 people all up. 300 students and 3 teachers from Hogwarts, died for what was right.
Bill’s death was extremely hard for the whole Weasley family, but mostly on Ginny, Bill and Ginny were the closest and Ginny wouldn’t talk to anyone, silence followed her everywhere, she looked like a ghost, and deathly thin, she hadn’t eaten for days, and she wouldn’t cry, it was only after Dumbeldore talked to her that she made real improvement, Dumbeldore had told her to live her life, and not to use Bill’s death in vain, because, she was told, he died to protect you, to give you a new life, one that you deserve, to give you hope, to give you s chance.

Ginny. She cried for days, not loud sobbing uncontrollably, but silent, shaking, and that scared Harry, he loves her, he does, and he wanted to hold her and protect her, shield her from the world, but he’s too messed up to even protect himself.

Out of the war, he came, all humanity’s hopes rested on him, and he was exhausted, he could sleep well tonight, no one would try to kill him again. Countless times he’d wake in a cold sweat, only to remember that it was over, he came out, his mind twisted and maimed, scars running deep crevasses in mind, his body collapsed, and peacefulness came upon him after years of waiting. He came out the worst.

~*~*~*~*~
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear that your loves for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear that your loves for me
~*~*~*~*~

He didn’t eve hear the door open; he felt the pressure on his bed and a hand, soft and gentle on his face.

“Harry, come down, don’t be alone, don’t leave her alone!”

Hermione patted his hair, gently, he voice sounding motherly and warm, sympathetic and loving.

“Be with us”

He didn’t move, he could only lie there and feel Hermione’s hand smooth his hair, he could feel her gently stroking his face with the back of her hand, he was unsure what she was doing there, but glad for the company.

“Bet you wish it was Ginny instead, huh?!” Hermione laughed lightly, Harry could only muster a tired smile, he wanted Ginny in the bed with him, next to him, in his veins, in his mind and body, he never wanted to let her go, but she wasn’t there, she was most likely downstairs, enjoying herself, she’s probably not even thinking of him, she’s forgotten about him.

“She’d never do that Harry” Hermione said, as if reading his mind, still patting his hair.

“Don’t think like that, you know better!” Hermione’s voice soothed his worries; she paused for a minute, and then resumed stroking his face.

“He’s doing better babe” Hermione whispered, Harry sensed someone kneel beside his bed, and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I hate seeing you like this mate, she’s waiting for you, she’s trying to enjoy herself, but her heart’s not in it, you both need each other to heal, don’t suffer in silence, how you spend New Year’s is how you spend the rest of the year, go spend it with her” Ron said.

He would not, could not move, he just listened, to Ron’s breathing, he just listened, to the sounds coming from the great hall, he just felt Hermione’s hand and wished it was Ginny’s instead. He just wanted to be alone.

“Go “ he barely whispered.

He felt a water droplet on his hand, and knew that Hermione was crying, crying for him, crying for all the pain he went through, but she didn’t argue with him, instead, she leant over and kissed his forehead, he felt her stand, Ron’s hand lingered on his shoulder.

“You know where we are if you need us!”

And they left.

And left him to his thoughts.
He wondered if maybe Ginny was just a miserable as he was, he wanted her with him, in his bed, so they could pass into the New Year together, bound in each others arms, silent, hopeful, that the New Year would be better than the last, and, hopefully at the end of it, they’d still be together, somewhere, far away, in their own little world, in their own bed.

But she was not with him, she was not in his arms, in his bed, she was in the great hall, enjoying herself, forgetting all about the raven haired, emerald eyed boy, that was upstairs, aching, for her body to be next to his.

He rolled over, pushing the thoughts from his head, falling asleep as he did so, and, for the first time, a tear escaped from his eye.

For the first time, he cried.

Downstairs, in the great hall, Dumbeldore watched the copper haired girl, as her thoughts strayed to the broken boy upstairs in bed.

~*~*~*~*~
I was crying over you
I am smiling I think of you
Misty morning and waterfalls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don’t say farewell
~*~*~*~*~

He woke, with a start, only to see it was Hedwig looking down at him, questioning his motives, he smiled at her, she flew from her perch, to the clock on his bedside table, he looked at it.

10:00 pm.

Two hours till midnight.

He sensed what she wanted him to do.

“No, Hedwig”.

And he closed his eyes and listened to the flutter of her wings as she soared into the night.

~*~*~*~*~
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
~*~*~*~*~

He woke again, to the sound of loud cheering, and he wondered if maybe Parvati was giving a table dance, he wondered if people had any respect for those who were sleeping, he rolled over to look at his clock.

10:30 pm.

It was getting harder for him to stay asleep, sometimes, he’d wake in the middle of the night and just listen to the sounds around him, he listened to Ron and Hermione in the common room, talking, about him, about Ginny, about life, about when they were getting married and their plans for a future, sometimes he believed, if he listened hard enough, he could hear Ginny’s thoughts and he prayed she was thinking of him as much as he was thinking about her.

He didn’t his prayers had been answered.

Always, he woke, thinking of her, thinking she was with him. And then, he’d remember he was alone.

A flutter of white came through his window, he looked up and saw Hedwig perched on the end of his bed, holding a suit bag in her beak with a note attached to it, groggily he sat up and took the bag from Hedwig.

~*~*~*~*~
Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity
~*~*~*~*~

Harry read the note:

In this life of froth and trouble
Two things stand like stone
Kindness in another’s trouble
Courage in your own.

Downstairs, Dumbeldore watched the auburn haired girl, she moved through the crowd and sat at a table, she was trying to have fun, but she couldn’t, all she could concentrate on was if Harry was ok, and debated whether she should go to him. Dumbeldore smiled, soon, he thought, soon.

11:45 pm.

Harry stood in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection, dressed in a black blazer, white collared shirt and jeans, he thought, overall, he didn’t look that bad, he didn’t know what he was doing or why he was doing it, but he couldn’t sleep and all he could focus on was Ginny, he needed her, and he prayed to God that she needed him to.
He turned to look at the clock and was amazed at how much time had gone by.

11:52 pm.

He needed her; he wouldn’t let anyone else have her. “Ginny” he said, as he raced out of the boys dorm and out of the Gryffindor common room.

~*~*~*~*~
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear your loves for me
~*~*~*~*~

“10…9…” The excited crowd in the great hall chimed as Ginny looked to the door, praying for a miracle, Dumbeldore, too, was watching the door, every fiber of his being, praying for it to burst open, don’t leave it like this, he thought.

Above him Peeves cackled, as Harry pulled himself up from the ground and sprinted towards the hall.

“5…4…”

He reached the door and pushed it open, all eyes turned to him, Ron and Hermione smiled, Dumbeldore sighed in relief, but all he saw were her eyes.

“3…2...”

He rushed to her side, pushing through the crowd.

“1”

And as a new beginning was welcomed by thunderous cheers.

He kissed her.

~*~*~*~*~
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don’t say farewell
Nothing
~*~*~*~*~

The End.
Reviews 9
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