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SIYE Time:5:53 on 29th March 2024
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Thoughts
By Spidey

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 9
Summary: Ginny Weasley is out walking one day, thinking about everything, and the only person who could understand all of this doesn't even know she exists-.or does he know more and feel more than she thinks?? An argument erupts that leads to the discovery of hidden feelings.
Hitcount: Story Total: 6264







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A/N: first of all I don’t own any part of Harry Potter, it belongs to J.K.Rowling.
And a big thank you and hugz to my friends Maz and Lorena. Thank you Maz for telling me what you think and for proof reading for any changes and for putting up with me.
Thanx Lorena for letting me write in class while you did the work….I feel bad so I owe you BIG TIME!!!!!!!! And for putting up with my constant blabbering about my story.
You’s are da bomb baby.
And for everyone else a big thanx for reading this. It’s my first H/G fic, but there are plenty more to come... so enjoy.

******


Ginny weasley walked, tears flowing from her eyes, her hair matted and flowing around her face as the wind picked up around her.
She was alone; she was sick of being patronized, ignored and depressed.
She was sick of love.
She was cared about people, when they didn’t care about her, she was sick of crying over people who, quite honestly, weren’t worth it.

"People are so pathetic". Ginny thought.

She wanted someone to look up and actually notice her for the person she was,. She wanted to be as beautiful as the other girls, she wanted to prove herself, show people that she was the unsung hero all along, she wanted to be noticed, taken seriously.
Ginny wanted to talk to her, to never leave until she collapsed into them crying, she wanted someone to understand her without asking what’s wrong so she, could understand herself better.
Ginny wanted someone to turn around and tell her she was worth it, that all the guys who didn’t see her as the beautiful girl she was, were seriously retarded.
She wanted someone to make her laugh and have a unique relationship with someone that every girl seemed to have with their boyfriend or best friend. She hated people telling her to wait, that love would come to her when it was ready, she knew love when she felt it and she was in love.
She wanted to understand.

She wanted to keep walking.

Ginny kept walking not caring or knowing where she was headed, all she knew was she had to get her thoughts into gear before she went back and started pretending again.
Ginny was a dreamer, and she wanted the fairytale, someone to come running after her and tell her they loved her, that she was the one hey had been looking for their whole life, and, ever so gently, kiss her, as it said in that muggle movie Moulin Rouge.
"I know what love is, because I earn for it with every fibre of my being"
that little guy who played the guitar was right and that was what Ginny yearned for ever since she laid eyes on him.
She liked the whole idea of ‘go out with a guy to spite other guy, make other guy realize he loved her all along and proclaim her love for her’ thing, even though, she thought it’s a bit corny.
Ginny wanted so much she didn’t know what she wanted.

Every time she saw him with another girl, her heart would break and she’d be depressed for days on end, she always thought the same thing, I wish I was as pretty as some of them girls. if only she was as thin, as pretty, as sexy, as smart, well, no, they weren’t that smart, but if only she belonged.
Ginny was invisible to him, it was always about him and the other girls, Cho, Pavarati sometimes even Hermione, just the way he was so comfortable with her, damn it, why couldn’t she have that? just the closeness? She hated how she looked, according to Mikokita cana, the popular girl in Ginny’s year, she was repulsive to look at.

“As if any guy would want to go out with you, you are so fat and ugly, it’d be a crime for any guy to love you.”

"People are so cruel", she thought.

she never once believed Mikokita, but lately she hated the person in the mirror, she been told this so much it had started to take affect, maybe Mikokita was right, that’s why no one loved her.

"No", Ginny thought.
"she’s wrong, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about".

How Ginny wished to stand out, she wanted to prove herself, she hated people laughing at her and her dreams, just cause they didn’t have any dreams, she could feel it in her veins, she was gonna be a somebody with a face, the thirst, the passion coursed through her everyday, Ginny yearned for something bigger, the hole in her the feeling that something was missing, that space that needed to be filled, it had to be filled, she was thirsty for it.
If Ginny was like the other girls all the guys would want her, they’d love her, but she’d be hollow.

Ginny wasn’t like that.

She couldn’t live for herself, self absorbed like the rest of them.
She hated crying for him, she wanted him to cry for her, cause he couldn’t have her, with one look he could see into her very soul, but not notice she stood before him.

"But I was born to try", Ginny thought.

She wanted everyone to be jealous of her because of what she had, not what she didn’t have, she had more than anyone, her family, her friends, her life, but she was left out because she didn’t have him.
She hated how she looked, he couldn’t love her, she was so….ugly, no one could ever love her, again, she thought, if only she was like the other sexy, thin, beautiful and wanted girls, maybe then he would want her, it had to take popularity for him to notice her, what if that didn’t even work?
All she wanted was things to look up for her, everytime something good happened to her it was always followed by something bad, nothing seemed to happen for her.
She hated it.

She hated life.

As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t hate him, she couldn’t hate Harry, his brilliant emerald jade eyes hiding things no one but Ginny could see, or understand.

She wanted so badly to hate him, to get over him.
She was to herself, always standing in a crowded room screaming for someone to look up or notice her but no one did.
She was always “Poor Ginny a slave to the-boy-who-lived who doesn’t notice her”
Or just little Ginny with a crush on her brothers best mate, this always annoyed Ron, but Ginny saw him not as Harry Potter but as a human with a sad past, she felt she understood him better than he thought she did, considering her chamber experience.


She loved him for him, not the person everyone thought he was, the hero, she knew he didn’t want to be the hero, she always saw him as something deeper, he was lost, like her, looking for a place to belong, he wanted to be normal.

So did she.

Ginny was sick of caring and obsessing over people, all her friends told her that she was so caring, even Michael Corner, her ex said the night they were sleeping in the room of requirement that Ginny was the most beautiful person he had ever met, she had a beautiful face, body and personality.
“I love how you obsess over people, that’s a good thing, because it shows you care about people, you have a beautiful personality and I don’t know why anyone fights with you”

Ginny was always thin, she knew it, but she couldn’t help hating the person who stood before her in the mirror, the way she looked, just who she was always annoyed the shit out of her.
She was always just a pretty face, an accessory to her boyfriend, she wanted to be the center of someone’s world, she knew that she wasn’t Michaels accessory, she just felt that way.
She knew she was beautiful but why couldn’t she feel it?

She had so many guy friends, so why wouldn’t they notice her? The only guy she wanted to notice her didn’t even know she existed. She loved all her guy friends, they were so much more fun to hang around with than her giggling friends every time the guys came near them.
She’d do so much with them, they’d play practical jokes on people and figure out new spells and code words for different things. Even they didn’t notice she was a girl.

She tried to make Harry jealous every time they walked past him or went down to dinner, though she’d have more fun with inside jokes, codes and spell, Harry didn’t even look up, and if they pass each other in the hallway, he’d barely smile at her.
It was always the same. All her misery came back to the same person.

Harry.

She wished so hard that he would just look up and notice her, to be just totally awed by her, the way she looked, the way she walked, talked, just the way she was, just look up and say “I’m so stupid, I should’ve seen her all along” just for him to think “Ginny….she’s always been there for me always been my friend, always listened to me, taken my crap, always been there for me, understood what was wrong without asking, always made me smile, made me laugh, always understands without speaking, she’s been my rock, the one who never judged, who always cared, who always gave me my space, showed me love, who loved me, and I ignored her and overlooked her friendship”.

Ginny wished Harry would say this, but he wasn’t anywhere near even thinking this.
The brilliant orange globe in the sky sunk for the last time that day, beneath the forest trees the heat dropped and Ginny suddenly found herself quite cold and alone, but rejected the idea of turning back to go to the warm, comfortable common room, no doubt Ron, Hermione and Harry would be there, Ron would notice she’d been crying,ask all sorts of questions, then when she’d go to the girls dorm, Hermione would come up and ask questions as well, and Harry would just sit there and not even notice her arrival and departure to the girls dorm.
Ginny walked, along the skirts of the forest, darting in and out of the trees, being a creature of the night appealed to Ginny, no more sorrow, hurt, pain.

Ginny walked feeling more confident about being alone, she wished someone told her she was a good friend, or just acknowledge she was there…..no, she wasn’t going to cy again, people weren’t worth it and, basically love was always misery, it always hurt, no matter how happy you were.

Ginny touched her thigh, the cuts were gone but the scars remained, after Tom, she cut herself to relieve the pain, Tom loved her, lied to her, broke her heart, and, cutting herself seemed to be the best way to get rid of her pain.
She wanted someone to notice what she’d done to herself, but not help her, just boost her confidence and give her hugs every once in a while.
Ginny walked more, fresh tears escaping her eyes.
She walked faster……….
Ginny stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her, Ginny’s face drained of colour and her heart almost stopped, Ginny’s eyes traveling over the person in front of her, crouched on the ground.

Harry Potter.

Suddenly it was as if she’d been thrown in water, the cold hit her like a tidal wave.
Ginny approached his crouched form cautiously, Harry must have heard someone approaching, in a flash he whipped out his wand and had it pointed at Ginny.

“Harry, relax, it’s Ginny.”

Harry lowered his wand and stowed it away Ginny could tell he was upset, he was alone, always was after Voldemort’s demise, his eyes hiding more pain and horrors imaginable, Ginny often wondered if he could ever love again after what he went through.

“Sorry” he mumbled

“It’s ok, at least we know you have excellent reflexes.”

Ginny heard Harry chuckle, silence drowned them before Harry spoke, he looked at Ginny.

“Thanks, you must be freezing? How come you’re out here?”

“Oh, I’m fine, just a lot of thoughts built up, had to go for a walk-“

“you’ve been crying again” Harry said in a hushed voice

“W-What di-did you say?” Ginny sat next to Harry, sounding scared


“you’ve been crying again, every time you disappear, you come back crying, well, red eyed, I’ve wanted to say something but words escaped me, and I always feel bad”

Ginny looked at him gobsmacked

“didn’t you think I noticed?”

“Harry it’s ok”

“No it’s not, I’ve lost everything, my parents, Sirius, my sanity, and you know why?”

“Harry you haven’t lost anyone-“

“Yes I have, and it’s cause I’m completely stupid”

“Harry-“

“No, and you know what? I overlooked the most important person in my life, the only one who knows what it’s like to be scarred by Voldemort and to survive him, the one who’s always been there, I just didn’t see, it’s all my fault, everything, what happened to Sirius, what happened to your father-“

“HARRY, there you go again, all about you, its always your fault when it never is, you cant help what happened, you’ve already done so much, you saved so many people already, you are the most loving, caring person I know, and for someone who didn’t get a childhood, you’re doing everything right, nothing is your fault, you did the best you could, you exceeded your own expectations and ours-“

“Did you always expect me to be the hero? Because I cant do it-“

“You’ve already done it and, no, we expected you to deal with what happened maturely and responsibly and you have, nothing is your fault, grow up Harry, you cant change what happened but you can learn from it”
She turned her back on Harry and walked away, ignoring his calls.

“Ginny, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, Ginny”

Ginny walked, here she was crying again over someone who wasn’t worth it, why couldn’t he get the message

“Ginny”

She walked not daring to turn around, she didn’t care anymore, she couldn’t care anymore, Let him wallow she thought I’m not going to cry over him again.
Someone caught her hand and pulled her around her earthy brown eyes met his jade glare

“I’m sorry, I’m completely stupid, if I’m the person that makes you cry-“

“It’s Tom because of what he’s done to you, I cry because always I loved you and I never gave up on you, but you didn’t even notice, I was always there for you, even when you just abused me and still I never faltered, I stood, you knock me down but I will always stand-“

Ginny’s mouth was caught up in the whirlwind of Harry’s, emotions flooded through the both of them like a river, all her pain, all her love, all her passion was shown to Harry in her kiss, Harry had finally realized that he wanted he wanted her after all she’d been through, after all her tears, he finally realized that he could help her, that he needed her, that he loved her.
Slowly they pulled away from each other, Harry’ breathing hollow and slow, Ginny felt it on her cheek, he pulled her into a hug, they stood for an eternity, Ginny was shielded from the cold, Harry’s arms warming her, his lips grazing the side of her neck where he rested his head, leaving feather light kisses behind.

“I should’ve seen you long ago, you were always there for me, through everything, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve met inside and out, you put up with all my crap, you were always there for me, I cant believe I was so blind. I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done.
I guess I needed to be educated on matters of the heart, you educated me after what happened with Tom, I was so scared I lost you, it took all your pain, all your tears for me to finally realize that I loved you, and I’m so sorry I hurt you that much, and I’m sorry your tears were those of sorrow not of joy, I’m sorry I made you cry, and I promise to never let you cry again, I don’t ever want to see those beautiful eyes full of tears again”

They stood for a moment together looking into each others eyes searching their souls Those damn eyes Ginny thought I misunderstood maybe they were capable of loving, maybe they loved me all along.

“Ginny, I’m sorry do you forgive me?” Harry sounded sorry, he had a hint of fear in his voice, he was scared Ginny was going to reject him after he poured out his heart to her

“Everybody wants you and everyone wants your love, I just want to make you mine”

“Of course I forgive you” Ginny smiled Harry let out a relieved sigh

“Everybody sees you, everybody looks and stares, and I just want to make you mine, so does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”

“Hell yeah” Ginny smiled and Harry chuckled at her enthusiasm, she pulled him closer for one last lingering kiss.

Harry pulled away, still mesmerized by her, the way her hair fell, shined, smelt, the way her lips played with his, the way her body moved when she walked.
Harry put his hand around her waist and pulled her into him to keep her warm.
Together, they walked to Gryffindor tower leaving their pain and thoughts behind and leaving in each others arms.

All Ginny wanted was the fairytale.

And she got it.

The End
Reviews 9
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