SIYE Time:13:39 on 19th March 2024 SIYE Login: no | | |
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Waves of Grief By BriannaH
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Category: Post-HBP
Characters:Other, Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley
Genres: Fluff, Tragedy, Drama, General
Warnings: None
Story is Complete
Rating: PG
Reviews: 15
Summary: That's when I thought about you. You said that she made you happier than you could remember being. Would she be what you were living for? The thing that made life better than death?
Hitcount: Story Total: 3958
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Waves of Grief
by
BriannaH
Disclaimer :: The plot is all that I own...
Author’s Note :: Just to let you know, this is in Hermione’s Point of View. Please review!
I saw you cry when you allowed no one else to. It wasn’t a usual thing, but I had gotten used to it. I wouldn’t say anything, for that seemed to comfort you most. You never really cried in front of anyone else, maybe a tear or two, but that was all. You thought Ron would see you as a baby if you ever cried in front of him, and I was the only other person you could trust. I would say small soothing words to try to comfort you. You said it was better than crying on your own. From then on, you came to me each time something was bothering you enough to cry.
I knew that you secretly wished that this man who has taken everything from you, would eventually kill you, as well. You were tired of having to remember the memories. You were tired of being on your own. You said you had nothing to live for, you were just supposed to beat the dark lord, and that’s all that was ever planned for you. You knew that Ron and I were always behind you, and you didn’t want to disappoint us, but we weren’t enough to keep you from being depressed. We weren’t enough to make you want to stay. You knew that you would always be depressed, at least with the situation as it was then. You had nothing that made life better than death.
It’s been a while since you’ve come to me, at least a year. I wonder if you don’t want to cry in front of me, if you don’t need to cry anymore, or if you’ve found someone else to cry with. I never degraded you when you cried, it seemed to make you more of a human, more than other people regarded you as. They saw you as someone that would conquer the dark lord, not a person, but a hero.
She used to come to me, as well. I used to be the only one that she would really talk to. She seemed to be a quiet, shy girl, but when you got to know her, she was the most talkative girl imaginable. She was always cute in the way that only a twelve year old coul be. She told me everything one day. She reminded me of a waterfall, all of these thoughts came from her, cascading across her life.
Slowly, she began talking around others. People were able to see her personality more, you noticed. You noticed that she was a person, and the pair of you became friends.
She soon outgrew the twelve year old cuteness, and became beautiful. She began dating. It seemed to help her, take her mind off other things, but these romances would never last.
The time between her visits slowly became greater and greater. She didn’t need to talk to me anymore, she was able to manage her feelings on her own, just as you had done. I felt slightly left out, the only people who ever needed me, were withdrawing, and suddenly I felt alone. Everything that I had, crashed down, and the only thing I had ever hoped for seemed even more impossible with Lavender jumping in the way.
I knew that she had always fancied you. Finally, you were beginning to take notice. I caught you staring at her quite a bit, and when you were around her, you seemed oblivious to everything else. I was slightly shocked when I realized that you fancied her. I didn’t know if she had finally given up her school girl crush, the one she had harbored since she was ten.
She and I had small rows that year, I don’t know why. I assumed that it was the pressure of her O.W.L.’s.
Then you kissed her; I was shocked. Well, I guess I really wasn’t. I did know you fancied her. I was just shocked that you acted as you did. The pair of you weren’t even dating, and you kissed her right in front of Ron... and Ron didn’t punch you.
Both of you were happy, and this made me happy. You both needed each other in these times, and you had finally realized this. The two of you were always together, and then at the funeral, you weren’t. This disappointed me slightly, but I kept mum, not saying anything. Maybe your decision was for the best, but then again, maybe it wasn’t.
I arrived at the Burrow before you did. She didn’t talk much, it reminded me of how she used to be. For the first time in a year, Ginny cried in front of me. It was just the two of us, and she told me she was scared for you, and that she didn’t know what she was going to do. She told me that she would honor what you told her at the funeral, and do exactly as you said. She knew you had to defeat Voldemort if there was going to be any chance of you two being truly happy together.
She pretended miraculously at the wedding. She acted happy, danced with everyone, pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Then again, she had been doing that all summer. She reminded me of a fish out of it’s water, not being able to breathe properly without its source of oxygen. You were her source of oxygen, you know?
You seemed to be suffering, but you hid your pain better. Maybe it was because you didn’t talk to me anymore. That I didn’t see your pain, that is.
We all left her behind. We left her behind for your benefit, and her sorrow.
You had destroyed nearly all of the horcruxes, and you stayed bottled up alone, writing her letters every day, but never sending them.
Once the final war began, you told me to tend to the wounded. You knew I would be the only other person who would be able to think of healing spells off the top of my head quickly. I knew that I would be able to contribute if I actually fought, but saving other’s lives can be worth more in the end. So, I agreed, and I tended to the people, healing them as quickly as I could.
I felt like crying as I saw the immense number of wounded, some in more serious conditions than the others. Yes, these people were hurting, but many of them weren’t yelping in pain. They would rather still be fighting, and they didn’t want anyone to take care of them when that person could be helping win the battle.
Once these people knew, that I had been told to take care of them, their exteriors washed away. It seemed like a wave of grief had washed over them. There was one patient, who was in a particularly worse condition than the others, that I talked to. He knew that he was probably going to die, and he welcomed it. This confused me, he wasn’t afraid to die, but why was he crying? He said that he would like to talk to someone, so I willingly volunteered. That day, I learned that these people weren’t afraid of dying, but they were afraid of the grief they would leave with those that they loved. He didn’t want to be the person to cause anyone grief, and this hurt him more than the fact that he wouldn’t live another day.
That’s when I thought about you. You said that she made you happier than you could remember being. Would she be what you were living for? The thing that made life better than death?
Then I saw her, running towards me. Her hair flailing around her. “Where is he?” she asked. I had just remembered that the final battle was here, at Hogwarts.
I pointed to the north. I almost felt like crying, because I knew at that moment, she would be what saved you. She would be what helped you conquer the dark lord for the last time.
You weren’t able to focus in that final battle. You couldn’t come up with the strength you needed for the final spell to work, the one that I had found after staying up for seventy three hours straight.
When you saw her, you were scared that he would kill her. You knew that you would have to kill him before he got that chance. He cast the ‘crucio’ spell on her. Why he didn’t cast ‘avada kedavra’ on her, is a mystery to me. Maybe it was because he knew ‘avada kedevera’ would kill her instantly, causing her no pain. He knew the ‘crucio’ curse would torture her, and if she was being tortured, so were you. She twittered in pain, and you screamed out the spell I had given you. She fell to the ground and you ran over to her. She was still alive and you had finally conquered the dark lord.
She was the only thing that had pushed you to choose life over death, she and the future she brought with her.
Now you are asleep and have not yet woken up from when you passed out after you realized Ginny was okay. You are in a coma, and have been for two weeks and four days. I, Hermione Jane Granger, am writing you this letter, to let you remember what you might have forgotten. The Healers said that you might have brain damage in the memory department, though how much you forget, they do not know. They said that you will most likely forget the last two hours of the battle...the last two hours up until you collapsed.
I write you this because I don’t know how much you will remember, what you need to remember. And I, the one who is always thinking, wrote this for you because she is too beside herself in grief, and cannot do much more than cry. You will wake up from this state for her, to make her happy, to let her live. You do this all for her, because you love her. I don't know if there's really any point to this letter, maybe you'll have kept you memory, maybe this won't be any use and will just be forgotten...
Hermione Jane Granger
Author’s Note :: I’ve never written from Hermione’s point of view before, so tell me what you think. I know it didn’t end very well, but I couldn’t really come up with another way to end it. Please review! Also many thanks to Torak for betaing, offering suggestions, and helping me rewrite certain parts!!
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