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wow, luv the chapter!!!!!!! yayayayayay!!! love the add u did for the characters especially fleur's i feel bad for her though. will cedric live by the way? i want him 2. the guy who played him in the movie was cute 2!!! ha ha ha sry.....update soon

Author's Response: Although as a guy, I'm not really fit to judge, I have to admit that movie Cedric was pretty well cast.

Hi there! I just got finished reading the chapter and your notes on FF.net, and I actually have a chance to stop and leave you my thoughts on the last few chapters.

First off, I can't tell you how glad I am that Remus' letter to Harry made him start to consider his father in a different light. I was actually a little disappointed in this chapter when he went right back to his old line of, "I'm nothing like my father, and my real mother is Daphne." It's like he wants to disassociate himself from his parents, and that bothers me, especially given the fact that he knows they died to save him. I don't mind that he feels close to Daphne and thinks of her as a mother figure, but when he says, "Daphne Dressler is my mother," that's like a slap in the face to Lily Potter, and if Daphne cared for her half as much as she claims, she would have put a stop to Harry talking like that the first time she heard it. Of course, it's possible that she hasn't heard him say it, in which case that obviously wouldn't apply. Regardless, I understand that Harry's attitude toward his father won't change overnight, but I still hold out hope that it will change for the better.

Before I forget, I also wanted to say that I don't see Mary Lochley as a "Mary Sue" (despite her first name). She seems like she could be a very interesting character, given that she's the first Muggle-born Slytherin we've encountered. Honestly, you're really not prone to writing Mary-Sues anyway, so I'm not concerned about it. As long as she doesn't suddenly steal Harry away from Ginny (which would SO not be your style), or something equally far-fetched, I don't think you have to worry about that label. Of course, there will always be those who slap the label "Mary Sue" on all original characters, but they're not the ones you want to pay attention to anyway.

Next point I wanted to mention was Luna. I hadn't realized the extent of her powers until this chapter (and I suspect that I still might not fully understand). It hadn't even crossed my mind that she might have been able to see through Crouch's disguise and save Gabrielle. That scene was really well done, and although Harry was a bit harsh with her at times, his harshness was due to his own frustration and was completely in character. It's good to see that even Luna has her limitations, and I look forward to her continued development. I suspect that when she finally decides to get involved she has the potential to become a force to be reckoned with.

Believe it or not, having Alecto Stun Daphne from behind was actually kind of refreshing, and not only because I don't like Daphne all that much. It's just that up until this point, Daphne's never lost a confrontation, even when hopelessly outnumbered, and I was starting to wonder if it was possible for her to lose, or fail to spot a potential threat. That's not quite fair, I know, since she didn't see through Crouch's disguise despite how well she knew Moody, and I'm sure there are other examples as well. It's just the impression I get, which is most likely due to Harry's rather colored image of her. I was thinking that Alecto might actually get to kill Daphne, since we know Daphne's time is running short, but when she left the wand behind I changed my mind. I think Daphne will get out of this one, even if she may not live much longer afterward.

Finally, the maze. Your depiction of the maze was pretty fun, actually, especially the Skrewt, which I don't have a problem with you changing from canon. You've changed all sorts of other things, so what does it matter, right? I did think the Runespoor was a bit much, even for Dumbledore (since it's so lethal) but then again, if he allowed a Sphinx and an Acromantula in canon, I can't say it would be impossible.

The one thing that bothered me a little bit was Harry and Cedric's fight to get the Cup at the end, but only because it seems to be a symptom of a larger issue. GM Harry seems to be of two minds about a lot of things. In the past, we've seen things like his conflicted feelings for Daphne (which are justified, even if they are frustrating), but some of his other conflicting thoughts and feelings aren't so easily explained. In this story in particular, we see Harry alternate between trusting that Dumbledore can keep everyone safe, and having no trust in it at all. After the First Task, Harry was certain that the dragon had not behaved normally, and he knew Dumbledore had been unable to keep him and the other Champions from injury. When the Second Task came up, he was terrified that something would happen to Ginny, yet when he found her and Gabrielle he inexplicably decided that Dumbledore would be able to keep Gabrielle safe even if Fleur didn't arrive to get her. I'm not saying that he could have predicted the explosion, because he couldn't have, but his sudden trust in Dumbledore's (or anyone else's) ability to get the little girl out safely doesn't seem to fit with what he thinks the rest of the time.

In this chapter, we see Harry changing his mind like this again. You went out of your way to point out that, "Even Ginny had assured him that they’d be rooting him on, and that she wanted to see him win the Tournament. For once, she’d read him wrong; he had no interest in winning the Tournament. He would compete, because that was what was expected of him. But he didn’t care what the ultimate outcome was." Now, it seems to me that if he really didn't care what the outcome was, he wouldn't have risked a duel with a student who was three years his senior just so he could win. His attitude a moment before had been one of caution, and he seemed to only be going for the Cup because he believed all of the other Champions to be incapacitated. Now, one could argue that Harry reacted as he did because Cedric shot a spell at him from behind, but Harry's reaction wasn't one of self-defense. His reaction was, "GET. THE. CUP." This seems a bit strange given the fact that not long before he had been considering how badly Ginny had misread him by thinking he wanted to win. Of course, I understand that Harry had to end up in the graveyard, and that you wanted Cedric to end up there as well. I also understand that the scenario from canon (Harry and Cedric deciding to share the victory) wouldn't work in this story. I just feel like, if Harry was going to fight that hard for the win, he probably wouldn't have been thinking about how "he had no interest in winning the Tournament."

Now, I have no idea if the things I've just mentioned have been planned that way for a purpose or not. If they are, then I look forward to seeing how they tie together in the future. If not... well, I'm not going to let something little like that ruin a great story for me. Because this really is a great story. I apologize if my reviews come off as complainy or something, because that's not how I intend them. I may not agree with everything in your story (Pureblood politics, some of Harry's decisions, etc.), but I can't deny that the story is well-written and interesting. So good show and all that. I really did enjoy the chapter, and I look forward with morbid anticipation to the Graveyard chapter. I'm very interested to see how you handle it, and where things go from there.