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Reviewer: Tron Signed Date: 2006.11.01 - 11:57AM Title: Chapter 4 DISCOVERIES AND CONFESSIONS
For a moment, I thought you had mixed things up between Hogsmead and Diagon Alley.
Good interaction between Harry and Remus. I was thinking the book would let Harry know that Draco was involved, but it's better that he was overheard by Harry, Ginny, and Remus.
I like the way you are building things up from chapter to chapter.
Reviewer: Tron Signed Date: 2006.11.01 - 11:44AM Title: Chapter 3 ESCAPE FROM STUDYING
Loved Harry's new name for Voldemort. Not-so-straight-etc. Too funny and too true. Poor guy! Guy meaning Harry, of course!
Reviewer: Tron Signed Date: 2006.11.01 - 11:39AM Title: Chapter 2 Dreaming of Air
Another good chapter. Good drama with the lack of oxygen.
Harry is right about how Dumbledore would treat the attack. Malfoy got away with so much during the six years he was at Hogwarts.
On to the next chapter! I'm glad they were finally validated so I could read them!
Reviewer: Tron Signed Date: 2006.10.30 - 02:02PM Title: Chapter 1: Remembering and Moving On
Nice start to your story. You have a few errors, but I don't think I've ever read a perfect fanfiction story. One error is here: Most notably, Sirius was gone; his godfather, his father figure and his source of source of courage. You need to remove one of the "source of" phases.
I have tried to read the rest of the chapters, but they have not been validated yet. I hope to read them soon.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Author's Response: tron,
thanks for your review and for your suggestion. this was my first ever attempt at writing something on my own and i do not really expect it to stand up against the other stories in this challenge. but i wanted to see what i could do and what people would say. i do have every intention of reworking this piece at a later time. oh and thanks for being my first ever reveiwer!!!
carolyn
