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SIYE Time:15:29 on 26th October 2021


Reviewer: KateriBella Signed Date: 2007.12.03 - 10:30PM Title: What Hurts The Most

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I agree with lecook4 -- it just stopped...like running headfirst into a brick wall. Definitely want to see where this is going between Harry and Ginny. I like the fact that Hermione is now wearing an engagement ring, but I'd like to find out how she gets it. I try not to pick on grammatical errors the first time I read a story, even though I have my Bachelor's in English (I know what it's like to try to get a story that's in your head out before you lose parts of it). Maybe I should be reading every story twice -- once for content and to see if I like it, the second one for catching grammar/spelling mistakes (I'm the one that my friends, who are all going back to school for one thing or another, come to and ask if I can proof their papers). Other than the abrupt ending, it's pretty good. Keep up the good work!



Reviewer: lecook4 Signed Date: 2007.01.06 - 10:54AM Title: What Hurts The Most

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Uhm... you marked this as finished. Is it? Strange ending. It's just sort of left out there. Kind of like saying, "He walked into the room, and they all stared at him expectantly." - and then leaving it there and saying The End. *scratches head* Well, it was a good start, but I would definitely go back and flesh out some of it and especially the ending. It just leaves you flat, wondering what the entire story was about. I would also recommend getting a beta or at least have a second pair of eyes look it over for you. There are a few grammatical errors that could be easily fixed.

Author's Response: There is a sequel and as I have submitted it and this one to another site I have all of it saved to my computer. I spent two hours actually going through this and working on making it appear right astetically. If you have the time I would love it if you pointed out the grammatical errors so that I can go back and fix them. I am new to submitting stories and have no beta, just a buddy who refuses to read them until they are up on a site. Thank you for the review I really appreciate it.



Reviewer: xo_morgie33 Signed Date: 2007.01.06 - 09:33AM Title: What Hurts The Most

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I almost did a songfic with this song. =D. Your writing was okay, but it was very rushed, and the end was a bit of a ddisappointment. There were a couple grammatcal errors as well.

The plot was great idea, and I adore this song, {Rascall Flatts makes me cry with all fo their songs!} but the actual story didn't really flow. Maybe if you re-wrote it and took longer than twenty minutes, it would flow better.

Overall, the story line was great, good job. =)

Author's Response: There is a sequel and I will be posting it here soon when I have the two hours to go through it and make it look better too. I appreciate your review. I also love Rascal Flatts and all music country along with a few other genres. The sequel is actually written to a Faith Hill song. I post on HPFF as well and as soon as I have a few more chapters handwritten on a novel length story that I have been working on I will be posting it on there. I would love to post it here to but it doesn\'t fit well with the Harry and Ginny side of things. If you want to look at this story in the future I post on HPFF as beeinthebonnet as well. This longer story has more of a thought out process to its writing but I have to admit I am good at coming up with more as I write which could affect the final product as well. I do have another H/G story that I thought was way to mushy for the sorts that I read on the other site but now that I am rethiking things I may post it here. Extreme FLUFF! Thanks again.




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