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Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2008.10.27 - 05:44AM Title: Brotherly Love
It's a great concept, but could use a little work in the grammar dept. The difference between too and to, then and than, its and it's, they're and their, so forth; need to be watched a bit more carefully. You might want to get a 2nd beta to take a look at it as well, an extra set of eyes never hurts.
I am wondering, however, how it is that Harry gets shot in the knee one day, and two days later is going for a 5 mile run, especially if there is no magical healing allowed. Even if he could get the spellwork of healing, there would need to be a recovery time of healing the torn cartilidge and muscles, not to mention any bones that were broken, shattered, or chipped in the process. I know the idea is to make him this tough guy, but it can be taken a bit too far.
Please don't take this as anything but constructive criticism. I noticed that you were asking another reviewer to please give examples. Only trying to help.
Looking forward to more.
~Michelle~
Author's Response: thank you so much. ive always been pretty rotten at grammar, just ask my English teacher lol and thank god for spell check thanks for the review and the pointers, they are very appreciated.
Reviewer: KaKe3535 Signed Date: 2007.10.07 - 03:43AM Title: Brotherly Love
aww.. they are soo cute.. i hope they get together soon
Reviewer: HarryGinnyMustLiveOn Signed Date: 2007.09.28 - 12:51AM Title: Brotherly Love
This was great! I love this original idea. There is a few mistakes in there that I noticed, but nothing a quick read over by a friend or beta reader wouldn't fix :) I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Reviewer: knightsbridge Signed Date: 2007.08.24 - 07:11PM Title: Brotherly Love
now that my computer has recovered from the Dementor's blue screen of death, not before having sucked all the files out however...I'm playing catch-up on SIYE. I really hope you don't abandon this story.
The chapter's are short, but it has me hooked. Short chapters just mean we can't wait for the next one!
Darian
Reviewer: Strider Signed Date: 2007.05.29 - 04:02PM Title: Brotherly Love
I liked that moment between them on their picnic. You show a degree of intimacy that is friendly, but goes even deeper than that. --Strider
Author's Response: thanks
Reviewer: Victor Aagaard Signed Date: 2007.05.25 - 07:30PM Title: Brotherly Love
The numerous mechanical errors are very distracting, but this is otherwise a great story so far. Keep up the good work, etc.
Author's Response: thanks could you point some out so you and other people could read more easily. you dont have to if you dont want to, but it sure would help. thanks again for the review
Reviewer: magical princess Signed Date: 2007.05.25 - 06:57AM Title: Brotherly Love
I love your writing. Especially since you are so young. People your age don't normally write so well. Great job. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Author's Response: thanks glad you enjoy it
Reviewer: eaglebird Signed Date: 2007.05.24 - 10:29PM Title: Brotherly Love
I'm enjoying your story and am happy to see that Harry and Ginny are getting along so well. If I could make one suggestion it would be to enhance your narrative by adding more of what each thought about the other. Are they both harboring deep thoughts of love for the other and are just to afraid to say something or are they just truly best friends? Ginny mentioned Dean and Ron chasing off all her boyfriends. Just how many romantic entanglements has she had? If this story is post-HBP, then what happened to their relationship after Voldemort was killed?
Author's Response: you are so right thanks for pointing that out to me. my next chapter i will put more of that in there. thanks for your review
Reviewer: Sir Ollivander Signed Date: 2007.05.24 - 10:00PM Title: Brotherly Love
Edited for minor spelling: Apparated is capitalized. St. Mungo's has an apostrophe.
Author's Response: thanks so much
