Search:

SIYE Time:5:00 on 17th January 2022


Reviewer: allabouthp Signed Date: 2012.11.18 - 09:11PM Title: The Cheat Sheet

starstarstarstarstar

No Review



Reviewer: AlbusSeverus Signed Date: 2007.09.17 - 01:16PM Title: The Cheat Sheet

starstarstarstarstar

Great story, rife with puns, great writing and abstractish humor. Loved it, easy to see how you won the challenge awards you did.

Author's Response: Thanks! You should try my other stories, most of them have the same vein of insanity, though perhaps not to quite the same degree...



Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2007.09.15 - 05:02PM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarstar

Judged for Challenge:
Hi Andrew. This was a pure pleasure to read. I’m very impressed with the supreme effort you made to emulate the style of Barrie yet still slipped in your own voice through your humor. It was very witty, and you had me laughing aloud repeatedly. Too bad there wasn’t a humor category this time or you can Eric would’ve been battling it out for that one. I was particularly pleased with “Collumbra” (clever!) and with the song in Chapter 2. I’m glad you followed in Ken’s footsteps with your cheat sheet… although I still have to set him straight on the misconception from his own debrief that I squee a lot. But this is your review, not his. As I was saying, I enjoyed the explanations of the things I missed, especially the personal ones (that hot chocolate one was quite personal – I know that phenylethylamine in chocolate simulates feelings of love in the brain, but that’s ridiculous... or lucky depending on your perspective). Really wonderfully written. Best of luck in the competition.
~ Christine


Author's Response: Well, turns out the luck worked! Thanks for the review, and yeah, the chocolate thing is rather weird, isn't it? Still, I'm assured it's entirely genuine, so...



Reviewer: Torak Signed Date: 2007.09.14 - 10:20PM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarhalf-star

DECLARATION OF INTERESTS: It's my fic. I'm not going to dislike it, am I? Nevertheless, I've tried to be as objective as possible; each story has been scored individually, without comparison to the others. As far as possible, scores have been based on specific, quantifiable factors to minimise subjective bias.

Scored for the challenge, achieving a weighted average of 9.36.

PRO:
+ Good emulation of Barrie's style
+ Very unusual take on the challenge
+ Very funny
+ Almost entirely lacking in linguistic errors...

CON:
- ...except for a missing quotation mark and a missing paragraph break.
- Style becomes awkward to read after a while, particularly when sentences run on for 80-100 words
- Little plot beyond the PP canon

REMARKS:
Obviously I think this is fantastic; I wrote it. I find the jokes funny; I picked them. I don't make linguistic mistakes - or at least, I very rarely let them get past me before publication. But it's not without its flaws, of course; I'd have wanted to work in more romance, more plot holding the jokes together - and probably a more painful way of bumping off Tink. I'd probably rewrite Tink's execution, though.

Anyway, I had great fun writing it.



Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2007.09.13 - 04:58PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

Oh, a few final comments:

The chapter is called "Peter Potter," yet Harry introduces himself as "Harry Pan"?

Also, the Washington Redskins play (American) football. There are baseball teams called the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians -- the latter appearing in Spenser Hemmingway's entry.

Author's Response: Yeah, the Peter Potter / Harry Pan thing was a deliberate inversion. As for the Redskins... well, I'm barely up on British sports. American sports aren't my forte at all. ;-)



Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2007.09.13 - 04:55PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

Judged for the competition. You completed this fic just in the nick of time, eh? I leave my review here in the prologue, since that's where everyone else left their reviews.

You begin, like most of the other writers, with Ginny reading other books in the RoR. But unlike the others, you decided to give more detail on what other books are in the room. I've actually heard of many of them -- my mother being a huge Peabody fan.

Your usual sense of humor manifests itself through the fic. Indeed, this is the first time I've read a fic that's filled with so many jokes that a separate chapter is needed to explain them all! LOL! (I've only read kschneyer's one-shots, so I've never seen his "cheat sheets" either.) You're the second entrant to cast Romilda Vain (sorry, Vane -- couldn't resist) as Tinkerbell, but you're definitely the first to cast Ron as Tiger Lily! LOL! Also, I can see that you wanted Lucius Malfoy to be Hook but, bound by the challenge parameters, you had Snape change into Lucius. What a loophole. LOL!

I also notice how you like to turn spelling errors into jokes, such as "Processor" Snape, also the "Hair" of Gryffindor! LOL! (I still remember "viola" from your last challenge entry!)

Overall, excellent job. Unfortunately, there's no Humor category, or this fic would be a shoo-in, but still, I wish you luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Oh, the extra chapter doesn't explain all the jokes, or even all the obscure ones - just the ones that are external references or where certain additional information is needed to fully get the joke... There are plenty more to spot. :-D As for Romilda, I'm always very careful not to read challenge fics - even in the validation stack - until I've submitted my own entry, so that's definitely a case of congruent development. Given the jealous dynamic between the two in both canons, I'm surprised that more didn't pick her... And yup, Lucius is a much better fit. And in a dream, anything can - and does - happen... ;-) The hair and processor gags... well, I just couldn't resist. It's dangerous to put feed lines in front of me. Anyway, as for the categories, there are still plenty of suitable categories left. I reckon Megs or Eric will take Adventure, and Megs has - in my view - Romance sewn up, but I rather hope I've got a stab at Overall and/or Creative. Here's hoping... ;-)



Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2007.09.11 - 01:20AM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

Judging for the Challenge.

Great story with many amusing innuendos and undertones. The only problem I really saw was that Snape was supposed to play Hook.

Good luck in the competition! ~Michelle~

Author's Response: But he did! The challenge didn't specify for how long....



Reviewer: quinn Signed Date: 2007.09.05 - 10:12AM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

You rock. I think I bruised a rib.
Great entry! Your ability to throw in insane references without losing the plot, all the while maintaining a consistent voice in the Adams/Python and yet still Barrie realm was amazing. I'll definitely need to read the other stuff you've wrtten.
The Col. Bogey hex is one of the best things I've read. Ever.
Thanks for making my morning. Good luck!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the other stories as well - they all tend to lean toward comedy, even the more serious (though less insane than this one) ones, so you've got more of the same to look forward to. Try Hollywood Or What? first - it's even more bonkers than this one!
Thanks!
Andrew



Reviewer: GINNY__POTTER258 Signed Date: 2007.09.02 - 09:16PM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarhalf-star

judged for challenge:

great story! good luck! : )



Reviewer: GINNY__POTTER258 Signed Date: 2007.09.02 - 08:15PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstar

Judged for competion:
"Romilda bloody Vain-sorry, Vane, slip of the tongue-" Nice!
Urgh the only thing i didn't like was Ginny moaning at the hot chocolate...i heard chocolate is an aphrodisiac but that's a bit much..i've read worse in fanfictions though... : )

Author's Response: Hehe - nothing to say it's a sexual moan, is there? (But yes, fair enough, that's the intended implication. I've been doing that a lot lately - deliberately sneaking innuendo and implications in under the radar as a dig at the overly conservative "Think of the kiddies!!!" brigade on FAP... ;-)



Reviewer: running_swift Signed Date: 2007.09.02 - 06:40PM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarstar

RABBITS DON'T LAY EGGS. XD

And that would be that, were you not so keen for me to write something more.

And that would be that, were you not so keen for me to write something more. Since the last scene is just above me, I'd just like to mention that there's a lot of things implied in there that I know you would never dare to write. Or, at least, post on SIYE. :P

Author's Response: Nobody notices the egg thing, do they? Anyway, it'll get a mention when I write up a crib sheet with the sneaky bits. :-D
As for the last scene, I'd dare to write the detailed scene - I just wouldn't be any good at it...



Reviewer: running_swift Signed Date: 2007.09.02 - 01:24PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

Since the site decided to log me out last time, I'm having to do this again. See the time I spend on you?? XD Anyway, what I had said was.... I particularly like that dig at Barrie in the last sentence :P
Wonderful, as always. I think this might be the best scene-setting anything that I've read. Ever. The hot chocolate! I swear, if you know how to make me one of those, I'm making my way to yours XD And then I was going to ask if you really think Ginny would like the DW novels... or is that just because you like them? :P Hehe just kidding...
But yes, extremely well-written, as always. I shall to the next chapter where my brain shall surely break... (Oh, and I still think you should do Earnest) ~LIsa

Author's Response: Earnest would be tricky - while Ginny would make a good Cecily and Harry a good Jack, Ginny would make a dreadful wossname and Harry an abysmal Algy. So both couples are buggered...



Reviewer: Spenser Hemmingway Signed Date: 2007.09.02 - 12:09PM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarstar

I agree that Mr. Barrie’s novel is an excellent companion to both the movies and the musical play. I’ve owned a copy since I was fifteen and I’m encouraging my children to read it. Your version… What can I say beyond brilliant? I have immediately looked for unique casting and humorous deviations from the original as I read the Challenge entries. If I allowed spoilers in my reviews I would point out each in turn and laud “the cleverness of a remarkable you” as they say. I especially loved the reference to the wig and…well, you probably heard my groan all the way in Europe when you introduced us to Ginny’s pirate sidekick. Your play on the names alone was enough to hold us to the computer screen awaiting the next one. Above all, the readers have to admire how well you adhered to the original, while still providing something new. Poor Tink… Thanks for a great story. Eric

Author's Response: Spoilers are good. I like spoilers. Or you can wax lyrical by email. :-p

I was fairly certain you'd enjoy the wig and sidekick gags - how did you like having Sirius as Nana? And Tink... well, she's mean in the book, so I just cranked that up a notch - it struck me that it would be more interesting to have her as the main antagonist rather than hook. Oh, and did you notice that I tried to emulate Barrie's rather circuitous style?



Reviewer: Elizzza Signed Date: 2007.09.01 - 11:40AM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarstar

A challenging challenge response, as always. And, as always, I swing between helpless chuckles and the feeling that I have missed half the references (is the fishmonger quote from the Goon Show?). Oh well, I just have to read it all again. Please continue with the next chapter(s). I do hope you win - this is really enjoyable, but hard work to read.
Oh, just for your information, the Post Office staff refused to sell me a shilling postal order, even though I had a nice old, well polished shilling in my hand. They said I had to look in a museum. They were most unkind, now I'll never get that free receipt.


Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it!
The postal order for free receipt thing is a direct quote from the Goon Show - "The Mysterious Punch-Up-The-Conker", if I recall correctly, while the fishmonger thing is, would you believe it, from Hamlet:
POLONIUS: "Do you know me, my lord?"
HAMLET: "Excellent well, y'are a fishmonger."



Reviewer: Elizzza Signed Date: 2007.09.01 - 11:27AM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

Promising start - so far you're the winner on my list. I wish I had that library - and the hot chocolate with cinnamon. I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Ah yes, I enjoyed writing the library. And the chocolate was an experiment; I once knew someone who made hot chocolate like that, and described drinking it as... well, let's just say that she liked it a LOT, and that any more detailed description than that in the fic would bump the rating up. ;-)



Reviewer: oeyp Signed Date: 2007.09.01 - 07:28AM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

No Review



Reviewer: oeyp Signed Date: 2007.09.01 - 07:27AM Title: Book One: Peter Potter (Possibly)

starstarstarstarstar


This brought them both to their feet promptly, and the first lesson (which involved leaping off the bedstead and attempting to miss the ground) ...

Hilarious.

I do hope you continue this story, even after the challenge.

Oh, and I hope you win the challenge. This is the best one I've read so far.

Author's Response: Thanks! You spotted that the missing the ground thing was a Hitchhikers' Guide reference?



Reviewer: enchantedsleeper Signed Date: 2007.08.30 - 04:53PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

Looking good so far! I'm assuming putting 'Ginny' in the extract of Peter Pan instead of whatever it's supposed to be - Wendy, I assume - was deliberate. Hope you write more soon!

Author's Response: Yup, very deliberate; by that point she's already starting to drift off to sleep. Anyway, plenty more to come - and much, much sillier...



Reviewer: enchantedsleeper Signed Date: 2007.08.30 - 04:40PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstar

Looking good so far! I'm assuming putting 'Ginny' in the extract of Peter Pan instead of whatever it's supposed to be - Wendy, I assume - was deliberate. Hope you write more soon!



Reviewer: Dianne Signed Date: 2007.08.29 - 09:11PM Title: Prologue: Night In The Library

starstarstarstarstar

I adore how you described the ROR and the hot chocolate and you had me laughing when Ginny found the trashy romance novels with the heaving and all. I can't wait to read more as this is a very enjoyable story and you've really done a wonderful job setting it up. Oh, and the walls punching back was a stroke of genius and very canon like!

Author's Response: Ah, I wondered if anyone would spot the wall gag. And yeah, I couldn't resist putting Mills & Boone in there - although I managed to avoid "throbbing", which otherwise seems to be terribly popular with them. Thanks!




../back
! Go To Top !

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Computer Partners. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork © 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding 2008 by melkior and Bear