Search:

SIYE Time:19:52 on 25th January 2022


Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.07.13 - 01:59AM Title: Chapter 4: The Greatest Enemy

Well done really really loved Remus and Sirius conversation really like that you might be bringing them back into the story bit by bit seems like Sirius won't die this year but rather Daphne since she is closer to him and that might be the reason your making them and Harry possibly get along better this year though we shall see really like the Harry and Ginny scenes you throw in. I think that your going to have to Harry split the Order or have Dumbledore and Moody have a big change of heart.

Also love the dueling your throwing in



Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.07.13 - 12:09AM Title: Chapter 3: Between the Darkness and the Light

Wow really like the way you are writing this things are picking up alot really like how you have wrote these alliances. The Burkes I think are my new favs that you have added in I really don't know about the elder Zabini’s though I do think Blaise is an ok guy and is going to be a good ally.



Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.07.12 - 11:30PM Title: Chapter 2: Delusions

Hmm well making things hard for old Sirius still but I will say I think you have him abit out of character it seems like.. Though you made it up for finally bringing Ron around I like Ron though many ppl out there don't which was surprising to me.



Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.07.12 - 12:00PM Title: Chapter 1: Correspondences

Was kinda of an odd format to do for a whole chpater but I liked it was well written and gave us alot of info so no DA im thinking since Daphne is the teacher. But I was thinking would see something of Daphne's killing like Malfoy's revenge but oh well.



Reviewer: piltad Signed Date: 2008.07.12 - 01:49AM Title: Prologue: Vengeance

Well that was odd I liked it though seemed odd that we didn't know she was out doing this before maybe Ginny and Sirius have Daphne right maybe she has gone off the deep end.



Reviewer: harrypotterspirit Signed Date: 2008.07.08 - 10:09PM Title: Chapter 9: The Games We Play

starstarstarstarstar

I've devoted a fair bit of time to read all your Grey Maiden series, all in one go. I am not usually impressed with stories that stake Harry as a Slytherin. But, you have taken great pains developing the characters. I do like how Harry is conflicted with the Dark side within him. I am interested in how Harry handles Kalas as Daphne Dressler sinks deeper into her Dark side as her health continues to fail. Ginny is a great character as is the conflict with her family about her being Slytherin. I think you have developed Luna's character better than any other story that I have red. Outside of Draco and company, JKR didn't give us too much background on other Slytherins so perhaps your perspective of this entire house and their families and customs is part of the uniqueness of this story. I was wondering if you were going to include Umbridge (I detest that character). I hope she is finished off in the end. The longer the story becomes the more complicated is becomes and more difficult to keep all the ends ties together. You have done a wonderful job to date and I eagerly wait for the rest.



Reviewer: bransfolly Signed Date: 2008.05.16 - 02:40AM Title: Chapter 9: The Games We Play

starstarstarstarstar

First off, Welcome back and I'm glad you are enjoying further education. I remember my university days with fondness, plenty of hard work (Managed to get a reasonable Desmond in History and Classics), plenty of fun and contacts that last a lifetime.

Glad to see one of my favourite stories back with a bang, loved both analogies to the 1930's era with the death eaters recruiting as the National socialist did and the Ministry with their appeasement style.

I expect Harry and the Order will not be taking this lying down


I also love how you explain dating in Slytherin, very fascinating. I do hope to see Ginny involved more going ahead, she's a facinating character along with your Harry.



Reviewer: sugarbear68 Signed Date: 2008.04.17 - 12:11PM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

starstarstarstar

This is going to be an overall review. I recently came across this series, and on first glance at the description, was going to pass, but I decided to give it a chance. That was about a week ago. Since then, in every spare moment I could muster, and some I probably should have devoted to other things, I've been reading this series, from start to most recent chapter.

Let me say, this is some great stuff. Your re-imaging of Harry with a happier childhood but darker core is very different, but, I think, done well. I'm thoroughly enjoying this and can't wait for the next installment.

My main recommendation would be to run another pair of eyes over the work before submitting it as there are many instances of words missing or thoughts directly duplicated in the same sentence as part of the rewrite process. If the overall work wasn't so good, those are the kind of errors that will drive away readers. I know that I have abandoned stories which had potential to be very good because the grammer, spelling, and syntax errors were impossible to look beyond.

All in all, though, very entertaining. I can't wait to see what happens next. How is Harry going to handle it when he finds out about Daphne? Is he going to figure out why Ginny seems to have issues with Daphne? What's up with Peter? I look forward to your school schedule easing so your writing schedule can take over again.

And finally, thanks for all the work you've put into this and for sharing it with all of us.

~sb68~



Reviewer: MrsBlack Signed Date: 2008.04.13 - 05:14PM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

starstarstarstarstar

Fantastic series. I just found and read all of your stories to date and can't wait till you update. At first I wasn't sure about a slytherin Harry but it is wonderful. I love the insites into characters who were just names in the original series. Your ability as a storyteller is superb.



Reviewer: hplover92 Signed Date: 2008.03.19 - 12:11AM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

wow, im so enraptured by this story.keep up the great work and update as soon as you have the time!!



Reviewer: BioHazard82 Signed Date: 2008.03.07 - 09:54PM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

starstarstarstarstar

Another great chapter. Update quickly!



Reviewer: harmoine Signed Date: 2008.03.06 - 08:52PM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

starstarstarstarstar

No Review



Reviewer: Shadow Knight Signed Date: 2008.03.06 - 05:17PM Title: Chapter 8: Movements of Shadow

starstarstarstarstar

No Review



Reviewer: hothoney111 Signed Date: 2008.02.16 - 01:27PM Title: Chapter 7: Hope and Memory

hehe. snape all embarassed. classic. yea for harry and ginny. what's going on with daphne? why are she and harry not nearly as close as before? i think they are both pulling away from each otehr, but there is a lot of words that have been left unsaid. what about remus and sirius? are they still in contact with harry? more soon! :)



Reviewer: FolkenLacourDeFanel Signed Date: 2008.02.16 - 07:05AM Title: Chapter 7: Hope and Memory

Great continuation of the story, as always. I know there is a lot of folks out there that are uncomfortable with your story in some shape or form, especially when it comes to Harry's character. I have to disagree. Canon Harry was too good to be true, given his rotten childhood, frankly I believe a real life Harry would have been much more like the character you created. Maybe less self assured, but definitely darker.

When it comes to some of the canon characters, I have to commend you on what you did with them. I like what you did with Hermione especially. There is a select few authors out there (you among them) that are capable of believably transforming her character into someone you would like to have around. Where Canon Hermione was naive at the beginning, her ongoing deference to authority and books, even when proven wrong was infuriating and made me despise her during book 7, and I felt that was quite a loss.

As for Ron, well, you didn't really change him that much from Canon IMHO. I never liked him much as a character, and his uncanny ability to put his foot in his big gob and to betray his alledged best mates at the worst possible time EVERY BLOODY YEAR made me wonder why Harry continued to stay friends with him. The pinnacle of the whole thing was book 7. Where does he get off interfering in Harry's and Ginny's relationship. I wanted to kill the little sh*t when he barged in on them during Harry's B-Day. What right does he have, given that at any other situation he would treat Ginny like an annoying tag-along. I really hated him for that, that scene was even worse than him abandoning Harry and Hermione later in the book IMHO. That was also the scene where I really started despising Hermione. At any other appropriate or inappropriate opportunity she would start mouthing off about feelings and other psychological crap but this time, when it actually counted she didn't say anything. To me it read like "Oh, I am not going to oppose Ron because it might ruin my chances of finally getting into his pants during the Horcrux hunt." Great friend that Hermione, truly. With friends like these, you don't need enemies. I find the whole abusive relationship between her and Ron despicable and truly question what type of message Rowling is sending with that. Same goes for her "redemption" of Dumbledore with Harry naming his second son after him. So it's ok to manipulate people and send them of to die for the Greater Good. Interesting message there. As you can guess, I was throuroughly disgusted with book 7 for many reasons.

Like what you did with the whole Snape, James, Lily backstory. One of the things I didn't like about the books was that all we ever truly saw of James was the fact that he was a disgusting bully and arrogant jock. We weren't given a good reason for his change in character, which always made me suspect that all that happened was that he got better at hiding his scumbag personality from Lily. Again I question the message that Rowling is trying to send here. The scumbag jock gets the girl, the underdog guy (Snape) who could have been saved with just a little effort on the side of the teachers gets to die a lonely death in the end (you can guess, I am a Snape apologet, he was petty, but still his reactions and actions were among the most understandable and realistic of all the characters Rowling created). You created a believable scenario for James to actually get a clue and change. And you made Snape darker than canon. I like it, its a lot cleaner than canon.

I like what you did with Harry and Ginny. I would like to see more interaction between them, and hope for a somewhat happy ending for them, but you did the most important thing. You made them the equals they should have been in Canon. That was my biggest disappointment with book 7. Rowling over the books created the groundwork for Ginny to become a strong character that could be a great match for Harry. After book 6 I was hoping for something a lot more than what she gave us. Even with the breakup, there are a lot of ways she could have been involved, like through her role in the resistance. As a plot device to force Harry into a confrontation with Voldemort, whatever. Instead we got treated to camping and useless bickering. You actually made use of her great potential, and I have to say, I LIKE your Ginny. A lot.

Finally, remember you writing about your self-doubts regarding your ability to write the more you deviated from the canon framework. Frankly, you are plain wrong. Your writing shines the most where you deviate most from canon or leave it entirely. I find the characters and scenarios you created from scratch fascinating and brilliant and would love to see more of them. For example, I wonder what Aiden would have to say on the whole Kalas issue. In fact, I would like to seem him play a more important role in the story. Same goes for your version of the Burke's. Some actions of Harry and his friends might not be much of the nice, but you are trying to create a real world Harry Potter, and the real world just isn't rainbows and butterflies. Don't be afraid of your own creativity, it's where your work is most impressive! Keep it up!




Author's Response: Thank you for the VERY Long review. I really appreciate all of your thoughts, and your encouragement. I'm glad you like the way I've done things, and it seems we are of the same mind on a variety of different issues.



Reviewer: harmoine Signed Date: 2008.02.16 - 02:10AM Title: Chapter 7: Hope and Memory

starstarstarstarstar

well written and can't wait for all future chapters to come. keep up the great and exciting work



Reviewer: Omaha Signed Date: 2008.02.06 - 05:15PM Title: Chapter 6: Conflicts of Interest

starstarstarstarstar

Great job so far! just curious though, are we going to see any action from the burkes or even aiden in book V? Also, i've looked through and maybe i've missed it but have you distinguished if Percy is canon and is siding with the ministry?

Author's Response: It hasn't really been established, no. He distrusts Harry, certainly. He's quite politically ambitious, so as long as Fudge is the Minister, he'll logically be loyal to him. Yes, there is a caveat there...



Reviewer: blackdragon987 Signed Date: 2008.02.03 - 09:14AM Title: Chapter 6: Conflicts of Interest

starstarstar

KEEP WRITING!



Reviewer: harmoine Signed Date: 2008.01.16 - 08:22PM Title: Chapter 6: Conflicts of Interest

starstarstarstarstar

You know Chris I find it extremely rude of you to not respond back to the reviews and comments that we are leaving with regards to your work. I don't even know why I even bother to leave a review. As a fellow author I always find the time to reply to ALL OF MY REVIEWS BECAUSE IF PEOPLE TAKE THE TIME TO READ AND TO REVIEW MY WORK THAN ITS ONLY FAIR TO RESPOND TO THEM.

Now with that out of the way I really enjoyed the chapter and most of all I liked how Daphne taught her first class and also the conversation that went on between Harry and Susan. Looking forward to more future chapters and can't wait to see what you make of this nightmare character that you have now brought into the story line.

Also I spent at least a good fifteen minutes to raise the star rating for your story because this chapter was at one and a half stars. Don't know why people dislike but as a loyal supporter this made me really mad. Please take the time to respond to the reviews even if you only spend five minutes a day at it because I am sure the reviews would like to hear feedback from you.

Author's Response: Well, thank you for your efforts on my behalf. Now, about the responses: My general practice is to respond if a person has a specific issue with something that happened in the chapter. Most of the reviews here are quite positive, but many of them ask questions I simply can't answer. I also write fairly voluminous author's notes on ff.net, which I don't post here because it isn't allowed. Those tend to answer a lot of different questions. I do read the reviews, and I greatly appreciate them. I just don't really bother responding if there simply isn't anything substantial to put in the response.



Reviewer: ShadeXH Signed Date: 2008.01.16 - 06:49PM Title: Chapter 6: Conflicts of Interest

starstarstarstarstar

Wow, very interesting development at the end. At first I thought he was seeing a vision of his future self, yet this is, at the same, less and more terrifying than that. Luna saying that they'd all know of this darkness within him definitely seems to hold more weight now, and is very ominous. I look forward to the next installment!

~ DMB




../back
‘! Go To Top ‘!

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Computer Partners. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & © 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site © 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork © 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code © 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding © 2008 by melkior and Bear