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SIYE Time:11:50 on 18th October 2021


Reviewer: Summer Potter Signed Date: 2012.10.14 - 02:14AM Title: First Day of School

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A strong start to writing fanfiction! I'd be interested to see what you can do with a full-length fic.

Nice work.



Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2008.05.11 - 05:50PM Title: First Day of School

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Judged for competition.

This was an enjoyable little ficlet. Of all the challenge entries I've read so far, yours is the first where Harry and Ginny both miss the train. But that was definitely a good idea of yours and a good way to set the fic in motion.

Just as in canon, they take the flying car. I'm glad that Harry and Ginny had a conversation on ordinary matters such as what their favorite classes are. This will definitely allow them to get to know each other better as people.

Harry likes the Grey Lady? LOL! Let's both hope that Moaning Myrtle -- the other female ghost at Hogwarts -- doesn't find out. Also, the ending was good, as Ginny directs the car and speaks to Flitwick before the car has a chance to crash into the Whomping Willow.

Overall, not bad for a first time author. I wish you good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Thank you! The inspiration for the thunderstorm part of the story came to mind in an actual thunderstorm. So, while I was weathering mine, Harry and Ginny were telling me to WRITE! Harry hasn\'t met Myrtle yet, and hopefully by that time he will have a *new* crush.... ;D



Reviewer: drawjones Signed Date: 2008.05.06 - 03:27PM Title: First Day of School

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Your story has a couple of very interesting and creative aspects. I love the fact that it was Harry and Ginny taking the flying car. Also, I like the way you had Dobby alter the entrace to the platform so they thought the train had already left. I think the story was well done and I look forward to more of your writing in the future.

Author's Response: Hehehehehe..... thank you. I think I probably should have fleshed out the Dobby aspect of it... but I was too lazy. Thanks for reviewing! Interesting and creative.... what compliments!



Reviewer: Dianne Signed Date: 2008.05.02 - 02:07PM Title: First Day of School

What a nice plot twist you used! It was good to see Harry care so much about Ginny and her worries over not being sorted when they found the train gone. Having them land on the train helped by Flitwick was clever also. Nice story!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. It\'s nice to be appreciated as a writer. I\'m glad you like it.



Reviewer: Steven Carnell Signed Date: 2008.04.27 - 04:08AM Title: First Day of School

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Good start.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. =D



Reviewer: ginny_weasley_fan53 Signed Date: 2008.04.24 - 11:29PM Title: First Day of School

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Hi!
I liked this story, it was really fun to read. I also, like most of the other minxes, liked Ginny's breakdown in the beginning... it made me laugh!! Also, I liked the purple elephant alot!
: ]
Jessie

I give it a 9!! YAY

Author's Response: Ah, the missing Minx. My name\'s Zap, how do you do? Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, Thank you for the 9 and thank you for your review. I do have to admit, at certain parts of this story I was trying to make it funny. Some apparently came out better than others.



Reviewer: DebbieO Signed Date: 2008.04.24 - 10:22PM Title: First Day of School

Yes, her babbling breakdown was just right. I totally see her responding that way and particularly the way she did, suddenly, completely forgetting herself and who she's with because of the situation. Excellent characterization.

Author's Response: I\'m glad I got that done so well then. On a side note, Luna is EXTREMELY difficult to write... without ever having written her before. I had trouble fitting her into the story at first, but then inspiration struck. Glad you liked that bit.



Reviewer: Spenser Hemmingway Signed Date: 2008.04.24 - 09:33AM Title: First Day of School

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♫She's gonna get detention from Madame Hooch soon

'Cause she drives that car likes she flies her broom!♫




Purple is fine. It's when you see those pink pachyderms that you need to worry. This was a fun story to read. I loved the sudden change in Ginny and for a second I was waiting for a comment about Hermione. The car was an excellent scene for the two. It gave them a restricted area where they could tal in private, but still have the concerns of getting to school, making it through the storm and avoiding the grand theft auto charges to consider. You established a nice basis for a growing friendship--one that had to wait when it was Ron with Harry in the Anglia. Very enjoyable. Thank you. Eric B.

Author's Response: You know, I almost put a comment about Hermione at the end, but I realized it probably wouldn\'t fit the way I wanted it to. I\'m glad you liked it, and thank you for taking the time to read it.



Reviewer: gejufan Signed Date: 2008.04.24 - 08:51AM Title: First Day of School

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well zappie...
that was not too bad at all. sorry to say it's not a ten, i didn't feel the characters all that much but i think an eight would do it justice. and an add to my favorites.

Author's Response: That\'s okay. An \'E\' is still good, for example, on O.W.L. results, so it\'s good here, too. ... sure you didn\'t mark it down because I\'m Gryffindor? ;D



Reviewer: FredsGirl Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 11:29PM Title: First Day of School

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Oh Zap, I'm so proud! (wiping away a tear of joy!)

That was cute. I think my favorite part was Ginny's reaction after they walked through the barrier.

Great job!

Jen

Author's Response: Thank you, it was a favorite part of mine, too.



Reviewer: DebbieO Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 07:24PM Title: First Day of School

Oh, yeah...I particularly liked Ginny's initial breakthrough with her babbling about the sorting and her future and everything. That was very Ginny. I also liked the end with Luna.

Author's Response: On the other hand, I had no trouble picturing little Ginny worrying her head off. It just...felt right, you know?



Reviewer: DebbieO Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 07:22PM Title: First Day of School

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Great job, Zap! I really enjoyed that.

I particularly liked the sharing of secrets and then the landing in the car on the train. Neat trick. I've always liked Prof. Flitwick.

Author's Response: Thanks, those parts were some of the ones I wasn\'t sure about. Glad they came out so well.



Reviewer: hgfan1111 Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 07:20PM Title: First Day of School

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....Hear that?!? That's all us Silver Minxes cheering for you, Zap!! Congratulations on taking that first step out into writing fanfiction. It's a good story. You've come a long way in the last week since beginning this challenge. I hope that you'll keep writing, because you can definitely do it.

Andi

Author's Response: Thank you, I couldn\'t have done it without all of your support, not to mention that giant message with red ink all over it.



Reviewer: lilyevans_Jan30 Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 06:31PM Title: First Day of School

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Yay Zap! How does it feel? Having had a hand in the story, I have to say, I like it! But you already know that. Waylander - the challenge rules specify that Dobby does not keep Harry from going through the barrier - it just doesn't say he has to STAY through the barrier. Great first fic!

-Mel

Author's Response: It feels GREAT. Once again, many thanks to my betas, without whom this story would be three sheets of paper.



Reviewer: Waylander Signed Date: 2008.04.23 - 04:55PM Title: First Day of School

Great story. Love the way you make Ginny open up without making it unbelieveable. One remark of sorts why did you change what Dobby did? The original idea would have worked as wel.
Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I\'m glad to hear my story is believeable. I was fighting myself the entire time I was writing this because I wasn\'t sure if the voices were right.



Reviewer: Pooky Anonymous Date: 2008.04.23 - 04:44PM Title: First Day of School

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Zap,

I very funny and lighthearted story!

The Grey Ghost, huh??? I always knew Harry like to walk on the wildside, but never that much! Remember, the Bloody Baron had a thing for her!!

Keep up the great work! I would love to see some real Luna interaction. Take care!

Chris (Pooky)

Author's Response: Woo! My first-ever review for my first-ever fic! Sorry to disappoint you, but I\'m fresh out of Luna at the moment. She\'s not easy to write.

[Respond: In Review]



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