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Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2010.04.06 - 01:06PM Title: Chapter 3
This is a very easy read. It could have been expanded by a few chapters, because you have a very readable writing style. I would like to read more from you. Well done.
Reviewer: DukeBrymin Signed Date: 2009.01.15 - 10:02AM Title: Chapter 3
Good ideas in the story, nicely done. You have some problems with verb tense--you shift a lot between past and present.
Thanks!
Reviewer: Jim McGuffin Signed Date: 2008.09.14 - 07:26PM Title: Chapter 3
Judged for competition.
Welcome to the world of SIYE and HP fanfiction! As you can see, you've discovered that this site hosts bimonthly fanfic challenges for you to participate in.
This fic begins with Harry discovering his vast inheritance from so many different sources, including an unexpected source in Snape. Like some of the other entries so far, I notice how Harry decided to give most of his money to charity and support those who lost family in the war.
That was an excellent idea, having Harry turn Grimmauld Place into an orphanage! I like how you point out that if a Wizarding orphanage had existed in Tom Riddle's day, he might never had felt the need to become Voldemort! The Wizarding primary school to bridge the gap between the Muggle worlds was also a nice touch.
Overall, not bad for a first-time author. I wish you luck in the challenge!
Reviewer: pippan121 Signed Date: 2008.09.13 - 11:22PM Title: Chapter 3
A very nice story, especially ending on a happy note.
Just, during the Epilogue the grammar got mixed up a bit.
Reviewer: Spenser Hemmingway Signed Date: 2008.09.05 - 09:52AM Title: Chapter 3
This was a nice end to a nice story. There weren’t any shocking surprises and I liked how the wealth ended up being distributed that way. Grimmauld Place really was a good location for your idea. I loved how you described Winky and Kreacher going at each other that way. Overall you produced a good story and I did enjoy it. Thanks. Eric B.
Reviewer: osa Signed Date: 2008.09.01 - 08:03AM Title: Chapter 3
Nice story, but work on the language skills. It was not always easy to read.
Reviewer: Baby_Huey Signed Date: 2008.08.25 - 08:27PM Title: Chapter 3
I really enjoyed reading your story. It was a very pleasant read. You do however, need to work on your verb conjugations. You quite often use the wrong form of the word.
Reviewer: BrunetteGinny Signed Date: 2008.08.24 - 09:33AM Title: Chapter 3
Really good idea's throughout.
Try to sort out the tenses maybe, the last chapter was difficult to read.
Congrats on the first story
Reviewer: NotACat Signed Date: 2008.08.23 - 07:38PM Title: Chapter 3
Your tenses are all over the place, making it almost unintelligible. I was in particular unable to tell whether the epilogue was supposed to be told in the present or past tense.
This is a shame, because it would seem to be a nice little story under all of that...
