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Reviewer: Ranma-sensei Signed Date: 2016.04.06 - 05:51AM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

An interesting premise, but you need serious help in both spelling and grammar. And I'd advise against making comments in-story. All in all, I'm interested to see more of this, though.

Keep narrating,
Ranma-sensei

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Reviewer: riegert8 Signed Date: 2011.09.02 - 11:33PM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

I find this to be an Interesting story

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Reviewer: Anastashia197 Signed Date: 2010.08.30 - 02:18AM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

Whoa... Interesting!

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Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2010.08.19 - 09:19PM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

an interesting start to the story and I look forward to seeing where you;re going to go with it and how things are going to play out with Harry and Ginny
keep up the good work

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Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2010.08.17 - 04:02PM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

Ah so now we will see something different I hope...kutgw

Author's Response: I can say, I've honestly never seen this done before. Whats coming, no one can guess. Hope you enjoy the ride. Thanks for reviewing.

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Reviewer: GinnySavesHarry1998 Signed Date: 2010.08.17 - 05:11AM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

Hm. Interesting. I'm not sure what to make about that very beginning. Different.

Author's Response: Great. If you don't know, it'll be a surprise. Thanks for reviewing. Jim

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Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2010.08.17 - 04:02AM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

A good start. I will be interested to see where you take it....(follow cannon or your own story).

Can't wait for the next update....:)

Author's Response: Cannon until fifth book, mostly. Then it hits the fan. Thanks for reviewing. Working on next chapter as we speak. Jim

Author's Response: Cannon until fifth book, mostly. Then it hits the fan. Thanks for reviewing. Working on next chapter as we speak. Jim

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Reviewer: jediprankster Signed Date: 2010.08.16 - 08:37PM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

I think you have a fantastic beginning here. There were, however, quite a few typos. There were some minor ones, which can be ignored quite easily. But there were also some bigger ones that interfered with the flow of the reading. I've only mentioned the ones that tripped me up while reading. They were the important ones. I have listed them below.

Are you sure you meant 'preclude' in the summary. It doesn't make any sense that way. The definition of preclude is "to make impossible by necessary consequence: to rule out in advance."

Also, the prologue is called 'Too Kiss'. That should be 'To Kiss'.

One of the worst things fanfic authors can do is insert notes into the middle of the chapter. Their place is at the beginning or the end of a chapter. Even worse is when an author puts it in the middle of a sentence, such as you have done here. "So on sit back in your seats and draw the shades, (Extra kudos for the one who can tell where that line came from) as we start our tale of terror and humor, hate and love, and all that come in between." Also, I'm confused by the beginning of that sentence. 'So on sit back...'? Either the word 'on' doesn't belong there, or one of the others words is wrong.

There is an apostrophe that doesn't belong here: "...Werewolves that we’re loyal to Voldemort."

I think the word 'way' is missing here. "The only they would get the information from him was on the other side of death."

The war with Grimmauld? There was a war against the row house that contained the 'Most Ancient And Noble House Of Black'? Or perhaps you meant Grindelwald?

"Voldemort led the attacked..." attack?

It's Godric's Hollow, not Hallow.

"fate of the world on a young toddlers should..." toddler's shoulders?

There's not much that really jumped out at me that I liked any more than the rest. I just really liked what you've written here. For me to like something this much in spite of the large number of errors really says something, so please don't feel as though I am giving a negative review. I did really like it, I just thought I ought to point out the major errors. I look forward to the next chapter.

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Reviewer: hgromance Signed Date: 2010.08.16 - 12:50PM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

interesting start. let's see where you go from here.

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Reviewer: zeta_one Signed Date: 2010.08.16 - 10:54AM Title: Chapter One: It started with a kiss

Good start. Thanks for sharing.

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