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Reviews For Foolish

Reviewer: mscyair Signed Date: 2016.01.25 - 04:10AM Title: Epilogue

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I didn't think I would like a pregnancy book, but this one is really great!
You created some very strong scenes, especially in the end. The OC couple is really funny and adds a lot. The dreams and memories where very emotional all along the story and you used theme very professionaly in order to awake the emotions you wanted. You are a really talented writer.
Thank you very much for this book, and for the sequels I am about to start reading now!



Reviewer: MidnightDream Signed Date: 2014.07.28 - 08:54PM Title: Epilogue

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I found your story 3 days ago and I had to binge read. I am officially a fan of yours. The writing is not only a very good quality but the plot is a good one as well. I'm usually not really into AU but you have done a very good job. To be honest I wasn't too much of a fan of Ginny's character but throughout the story you have explained very well what the complications of war and losing a loved one can have on a person. I also love how you said that Harry and ginny had to have counseling to work in their relationship. Most fics and everything else that has romance just shows the happily ever after but you showed how much they had to work in order to get that "happily ever after." And most importantly you showed that the world is much more than complicated and unfair and how you have to grab it by the horns in order to get what you want out of it.

I'm on to the sequel... hope you can continue with it no matter how much longer I have to wait for an update.



Reviewer: ellen Signed Date: 2013.03.16 - 02:59PM Title: Epilogue

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I only stumbled across this site a few weeks ago, but on discovering that there are lots of really good stories I thought I should make an account to leave some messages of appreciation. So, here's the first one. This story was a real page turner, holding my interest with the perfect level of angst and chapter length to suit my tates. There was a time towards the end where I wanted to shout at Harry "Just leave, she doesn't love you enough" and a bit later "8 years? Are you mad!" but happily true love won out in the end. I liked how well Hastom was described, so I felt I could really see the place, and the OCs had proper characters and were great fun too. And then there's the Snitch! He was wonderful both in and out of the womb. I also liked the use of flashbacks to fill in bits of the story that I hadn't quite realised were missing till they were there. Thanks for the hours of pleasure reading this story has given me. It's definitely one I shall be coming back to re-read.



Reviewer: LilyJames097 Signed Date: 2013.02.08 - 01:11AM Title: Epilogue

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No Review



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2012.12.22 - 03:48PM Title: Epilogue

Very nice ending....this has been a trail at times to keep reading when I should have been sleeping....kutgw



Reviewer: Rosie Cruz Signed Date: 2012.11.22 - 08:39AM Title: Epilogue

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FIRST of all congratulations for your big win.... i am new here and you know it was because of u i registered here ... trust me i just entered to let you know how amazing your stories are .... "Foolish" is really great... i have read so many stories but yours some how fits in ..... all of the other stories seems like fanfic but yours was something different .... it felt so original.... all the petty mistakes can be over looked just because of the way you wright ... and i have only one word for your story ....MAGICAL ....:)

Author's Response: Thanks! Sorry it took so long to reply, but it means a lot that you enjoyed the piece so much to join the site as a member! And I'm flattered that even the myriad of mistakes I made in "Foolish" could be overlooked b/c of your love for it. Hope you keep reading ahead and that you enjoy what else I have in store.



Reviewer: GREYWOLF Signed Date: 2012.11.19 - 03:09PM Title: Epilogue

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First off, congratulations on an outstanding effort. You clearly put a lot of time and work into this story, and for the most part, I thought you pulled off what I felt was a very difficult assignment. The story was generally consistent, and well written throughout, a definite plus.

There were a few inconsistencies, such as in the first chapter you mentioned Hermione warning Ginny to use contraception, but in a later chapter we discover that Ginny broke off her friendship with Hermione after the breakup with Harry. Most of these were pretty minor and inconsequential with one exception. That’s when Ginny used magic to call in to the wireless program while she was on 6 mo. probation. Apparently the rules were pretty strict as Harry was punished for being a few minutes late to a meeting. You might consider changing the scenario, so that someone allows her to talk using their magic.

However my main criticism is that I felt there was inadequate development of Ginny’s fall. While I could agree that Ginny would sacrifice her happiness for Harry’s benefit, the process needed more work, but most especially Ginny’s decline into depravity was inadequately supported and detailed to make it believable. Ginny is determined and independent, we recall she broke up with Dean because he was ‘controlling’, as benign as that was. Therefore, for her to allow men to use her for sex, and then come under control of an abuser, needed an ongoing process, a series of steps showing gradual decline from disappointment after disappointment, leading to a despair of life that would make her behavior accepted by the reader.

This lack of development caused another problem that I felt was important. In my opinion, Ginny’s main sin was not her betrayal of Harry’s love, nor her immoral sex, or even giving up herself to an abuser. Ginny’s main sin is hubris. It continues to be a problem for her right to the end of the story. And since it is never acknowledged, she never atones and thus never receives redemption of the personal fault that led to everything else.

I hope you understand that these comments are not personal. Just areas of your story that I think could be improved and to make for a better story. My only other disagreement is strictly personal choice. When Harry discovers Ginny has lied to him about the baby’s father, you have him become angry and call Ginny foul, hurtful, names. I think that’s OOC for Harry as you’ve portrayed him in your story, but mainly I think you chose the wrong emotion. When someone you love bitterly disappoints you, the response is not anger, its despair. Harry would have said nothing, the look on his face would say it all.

Now let me tell you what I liked about the story. First off, I was very pleased to see that you didn’t shy away from the fact that bad choices frequently bring bad consequences. One reason I’m wary of AU stories is that many writers seem to think that means “fairy tale”. They have H/G engage in all kinds of foolish behaviors which never have any bad consequences. Here Ginny winds up pregnant, no husband or support, homeless and destitute, brought on clearly by her bad choices.

However, in spite of the ups and downs of her situation, Ginny keeps trying, she doesn’t give up, and she maintains a sense humor which is a nice touch. Of course this is anchored by her commitment to her baby, showing the power of a mother’s love.

And of course, there is the redeeming power of Harry’s unfailing love. Because of his faithfulness, love conquers all, and our couple achieves resolution and renewal. Who can argue with that.






Author's Response: Thank you, and again I apologize for the delay in response. Every time I sat to type something out, something else came up and for something you put this much time into, I wanted to give it the thought it deserved.

In response to the constructive crit (thank you, btw; always nice when it can sound civil) I, like many writers, am never 100% satisfied with the finished product. There is always something I will want to go back and change, be it a plot point or just a word or two in a sentence. There were a few inconsistencies, I admit, but this story was written and published over the course of about thirteen months. I missed things, however I don't think they affected the overall goal of the story itself.

With regard to Ginny's "fall" as you call it, it is one of the things in hindsight I would have developed a little more. I struggled with how much to put in b/c while I wanted to give as complete a picture as possible, I also didn't want to get bogged down in the past. This story was less about their break-up and more about seeing if such a traumatic break up could deter them from reuniting. I tried to show her thought process through the flashbacks and conversations she had with Nell and Hermione, even her own musings, I wasn't trying to convey Ginny as having a stubborness that was as extreme as losing touch with reality, more so I just wanted nothing except the idea that Harry loved the baby as his own, which she didn't grasp until the memories were revealed, as being capable of breaking through her defenses. Was it pigheaded and frustrating on her part? Absolutely. But because it led to those memories, which I think were one of the real highlights of the whole piece, I wouldn't change that.

I addressed it in other responses to that chapter, but to paraphrase, he had really bottled up alomst everything he was feeling up until that point and everything just came out in a rush of hurtful words.

Overall, I'm glad that you seemed to enjoy this piece and I hope that you continue on to the sequel. Thank you again for being so charitible with your thoughts. It means a lot.



Reviewer: pepperama Signed Date: 2012.11.17 - 04:29AM Title: Epilogue

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So. I have just spent the last week reading this wonderful, amazing, heart wrenching story of yours. I tried to start it a couple of times before now but had trouble for some reason. This probably should have been a sign for how much it would effect me. I also had a similar difficulty starting the Harry Potter books about 10 years ago. Your writing is so powerful and it puts me right into the scenes with all of these characters that I love so much. None the least being Bart and Nell (who for the longest time I read as Neil and kept confusing myself -- I didn't realize it was even supposed to be Nell and that she was a woman until more than halfway through the abortion appointment and I kept thinking how much I would not want the doctor to be a man if I were in her position right then). OCs are hard to flesh out in a way that makes them fully formed, lovable, complex, flawed characters in their own right without usurping the canon characters or getting tiresome in the context of fanfic but I love them, every sentence of them, and I want a Bart in my life right this instant because I could use the laughs in my RL. I had a bit of resistance in the beginning with Ginny being some kept woman hanging on a pretty boy manipulating tool. I hate feeling disappointed in her in stories, because she was one of my teenage heroines, and--damn it-- she should be smart enough and strong enough to not fall into another Tom Riddle-esque trap. So I was rather irked and unsure with the story at first, but the writing was so excellent and compelling that I couldn't stop. And then we got to the why. The depression and everything that happened between H/G. Boy, do I understand that. That feeling of being a burden to those that I love. A lot of people try to deal with depression in fics, but fail miserably in capturing it. Everything that you described, every word that you used in expressing how Harry and Ginny suffered their thoughts, their mourning and survivor's guilt and fear and self hatred-- they hit all of the right wrong notes. Which is a confusing way of saying it rang so true as to be painful at times, and that was wonderful. So, as I'm sure you could foresee, this reduced me to a blubbering mess numerous times. Throughout all of that, your humor, channelled through these characters, created and borrowed, made me laugh really loud at inappropriate times of night and I quite likely pissed off some of my neighbors. I also wanted to hurt Lionel. Like, eyes meeting fork, head meeting hammer hurt him. I might be a little bit crazy. It is currently three in the morning and I am a bit low on sleep from obsessively reading this fic for the last few nights until I'm falling asleep at my computer, so I'm going to blame it on that. My point is, thank you for this story. For putting me on this roller coaster journey this week, biting my nails whenever I was away from the computer and your lovely fanfic. This is one of my all time favorite fanfics now, one of the best I have ever read. I absolutely love it. I'm going to read the sequel next.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I apologize for taking so long to respond.

I'm so proud of my OCs. I love them so much and I'm so glad they were as embraced by the readers here.

Depression is not fun to write, let alone go through. I tried to put as much of my own experience into Ginny and Harry's journey as I could to keep it realistic. To some, she's selfish and indifferent to the needs of others, which is how I was told I was when I was working through my issues. Let's be clear, they were both suffering from forms of depression and partial PTSD that hindered their relationship. Ginny just let go of more of herself during that time, putting herself in some percarious situations with less-than-reputable people, like Lionel. Who, I gotta say, I never considered shoving utensils in his eye sockets, but I'm sure there are many, many witches in my universe who gladly would.

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story and I'm very appreciative of the time and love you devoted to it and this review.



Reviewer: clandestinelyours Signed Date: 2012.11.12 - 02:00AM Title: Epilogue

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Loved it! I'm glad I waited until it was all written to read it because I stayed up all night reading the last four chapters...you definitely had me hooked from beginning to end. Lots of lovely angst and sappiness :) great story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Happy you enjoyed it.



Reviewer: MrsAlphardBlack Signed Date: 2012.11.02 - 12:37PM Title: Epilogue

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Wonderful and thoroughly engaging tale. Had me looking for more with every new chapter. Lost track of the number of times when I thought, "Oh, thank goodness, Harry and Ginny are finally seeing sense! Things will surely resolve next chapter." Then, the next chapter would appear, causing some distress but mostly more wonder. In the end, the author most definitely knew better than the reader.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you had fun with the story asnd went along for the ride. I also hope you like what else is in styore for them in the next story.



Reviewer: annep Signed Date: 2012.10.11 - 12:21PM Title: Epilogue

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I read the entire story over the past couple weeks and was very impressed with your writing skill and how thoroughly you’d planned it all out. I also really appreciated how you showed the extent of the psychological wounds both Harry and Ginny received from their past experiences and how those traumas harmed them emotionally. I had thought you were going to break them up for those 8 years so that each of them could grow and heal, and then they’d get back together, but working things out together with help was much better than separating. Hoping you win another Trinket because you deserve it!

Author's Response: I apologize for taking so long to reply, but thank you so much for your kind words. The psychology aspect of the story was something I took very seriously. Human emotions and reactions can be very subjective and I worked hard to show the extent of what their lives up to that point had done to them. The story could have satill worked if Harry had went away, but I think leaving would have destroyed the bond he built with James, which was one of the central purposes of this whole novel, having Harry love the baby as much as he did and vice-versa.



Reviewer: pottermania Signed Date: 2012.09.19 - 06:21AM Title: Epilogue

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I have to say thank you for sharing this with us. I have literally lived, breathed, eaten (and even dreamed) this story over the last week or do. It has brought such heady enjoyment to me and will definitely go down as one of my all time favourites surely to be re-read again and again.

I never clicked at the beginning of this chapter that this was away in the future (their 25th wedding anniversary no less) and that was a great twist.

What more can I say...awesome beyond measure:)))


Author's Response: First, I'm sorry it took me so long to say thank you! Huge error on my part. The fact that you went through and reviewed each chapter means a lot to me and I want to thank you for taking the time. It's wonderful to have you for a fan.

I was very, very careful with my word choices in that first part. I didn't want to give anything away so when the real date was revealed, it would (hopefully) be a great treat for all the readers. It seems it was, for you at least.



Reviewer: Green Eyes Signed Date: 2012.09.04 - 01:00PM Title: Epilogue

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Thank you!

Love the big brood!

I have my fingers crossed that your muse keeps burning brightly.

Author's Response: Thank so, so much!

For some reason, I pictured them having a bigger family post-DH. Five was their original number in my story-verse and they just ended up with an extra due to the twins. It's almost like they get two different families in a way b/c of the age differences. The timeline we'll be working with in the next story is that Iris is born during Lily's second year at Hogwarts.

The muse is burning away and is trembling in excitement b/c it's getting its first new computer in several years today!



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2012.09.04 - 08:37AM Title: Epilogue

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WOWW.. Brilliant is stil the best word I can think of to describe your story.
This last chapter has tied up a couple of loose ends...getting married, kids, etc. But it has also opened it up to more storylines.
I can't wait to read about Iris..but to read about what happened before Iris, would be great too.
Anyway, Congratulations on a brilliant story and I await more great stories from you.

Author's Response: Thank you and I'm sorry for the delay in responding!Just needed a bit of a break from Foolish, I guess.

Iwanted everyone who enjoyed this story to get their happy ending if they didn't want to continue on afterward, but I also wanted to entice other readers with a look ahead. The next story deals a lot with Iris's birth but there's also a lot going on with the other three kids, James in particular.

Thank you again so much!



Reviewer: I Love Ginerva Signed Date: 2012.09.04 - 06:23AM Title: Epilogue

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No Review

Author's Response: Thanks for the rating!



Reviewer: Imperator 277 Signed Date: 2012.09.04 - 12:53AM Title: Epilogue

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Well, I loved this chapter and I am glad to see it all ended well. Will there be a sequel about Iris? This one was hard to follow since you were kinda all over the place jumping from one event to another. I half expected Bart to name his kid after a star wars character either padme or leia as a girl or anakin or luke as a boy. Maybe their next one will have a star wars name? Any plans on a sequel?

Author's Response: Thank you! There are plans for a sequel in the future and they will involve Iri's conception and birth as well as dealing with a few other things. No firm date on when you guys can expect to see it up here.



Reviewer: dseay Signed Date: 2012.09.03 - 11:03PM Title: Epilogue

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Thank you for such a wonderful story. I am sorry it is over but your ending was so sweet. Loved this story!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm a little less sorry it's over b/c of the work involved. You guys (and H/G) deserved some sweetness after the first twenty-four chapters.



Reviewer: evra Signed Date: 2012.09.03 - 08:16PM Title: Epilogue

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I absolutely loved Foolish. Sometimes, even I doubted that they were going to make it. Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it!



Reviewer: HP18 Signed Date: 2012.09.03 - 12:19PM Title: Epilogue

A M A Z I N G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aut hor's Response: T H A N K Y O U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Reviewer: LuvinHG Signed Date: 2012.09.03 - 09:23AM Title: Epilogue

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Iris, another story entirely... Get on with it then. *^_^*

Author's Response: Thank you!

I will, I will! Pinky promise. Just need to recharge the batteries a little.




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