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Reviewer: ginnyweasley777 Signed Date: 2012.03.06 - 10:37AM Title: Chapter 3: Misunderstood

aww, poor Harry and Ginny

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Reviewer: harryluvsginny Signed Date: 2011.10.06 - 08:30PM Title: Chapter 3: Misunderstood

This chapter made my heart hurt. Please make it un-hurt! :[

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Reviewer: Emlyn Signed Date: 2011.10.05 - 05:18PM Title: Chapter 3: Misunderstood

For all Harry paid attention, Ginny might as well of said nothing. Guess he's still too screwed up to care or to listen. I really feel bad for Ginny. I admire her desire to set things straight, and her courage to do so. Right about now, Harry doesn't seem worth it.

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Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2011.10.05 - 03:52PM Title: Chapter 3: Misunderstood

well i think they needed this more then ginny knew....now the air is clear in a way and now the hard part of working on the end goal is in sight.....kutgw

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Reviewer: Generic Euphoria Signed Date: 2011.10.05 - 12:38AM Title: Chapter 3: Misunderstood

I first saw this story on this site, but in hopes that it was more updated, found it on FF.net, and it was - by one chapter! I was very disappointed when I saw Chapter 3 on here and checked FF.net only to find out that SIYE is now up to date. Oh well.

I like your story so far, mainly for one reason, or one aspect of your writing: characterization.

Your trio is realistic, especially your dynamics between Ron and Hermione, and Harry. I feel like I'm on the same page with your versions of those characters, especially Hermione, who I feel is the most misunderstood (in the worst ways). Your take on Ron is somewhat more similar to the normal one, but I still fill you add something new to him in your story. What I love most is your well-done characterization of Harry - you write him much in the same way as Rowling: a brooding but surprisingly oblivious (to his own emotions as well as his surroundings) boy. I like that because it gives off a certain feel from the original books and really brings home your version of Harry for me.

What I don't particularly like is your version of Ginny; you have her as a fighter, yes, but not in a scrappy, boyish way that I really see her to be. It's more like she's determined to say her piece, but then let things flow as they may, and although that's a good trait, in this case I don't think it suits her.

Your writing style is admirable, and I enjoy how from Ginny's perspective, your writing is quite opposite to Harry's oblivious point-of-view, and she does tend to state the facts. I think the fact that you use a variety of vocabulary adds to your repertoire of skills, and I hope that you are able to continue expanding it, because it's always nice to read a story from an author who has multitudes of adjectives to describe what they imagine.

However, a problem with your writing is that you don't always try to allow it to flow together. Often you jump around too quickly for me, and it seems detrimental to Ginny's dilemma, because it doesn't allow for the full impact. Although you do use a variety of language, you don't allow yourself to build on your problems and instead you try - or it looks like you try - to string things together too quickly.

I think this error in your writing about sums up your erratic and quick-paced storytelling:

"Ginny buried her face in her pillow, allowing her tears to fall freely." (second to last paragraph, Chapter 3, All It Takes)

Please tell me how burying your face into a pillow allows tears to fall as they may. It seems much more likely that the pillow would absorb some of the moisture and actually stop it's natural flow, smearing the tears around her face/eyes.

Anyways, I like your story, but I think it could be infinitely better with some improvements, at least in my opinion.

Thanks for your time,
GE

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