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SIYE Time:13:09 on 16th June 2021

Reviews For A Day In The Woods

Reviewer: NoTagBacks Signed Date: 2012.01.24 - 02:26PM Title: A Day In The Woods

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You are very polite to your reviewers. That's a good trait for someone who wants to become a better writer.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but try to find a beta to work with you. They'll help you improve.

It's a basically a good story, but it's pretty simple. Try to give us more of the personalities of the people so we know why they're special. In real life we learn about people by listening to the tone of voice, and watching their facial expressions an body language. An author can do that, but can also do more, by actually revealing the thoughts of their characters, or telling important items from their past.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing.

Author's Response: Thank you for your invaluable suggestions and taking out time to read my story. Please continue to be a source of inspiration for me and your views are always welcome.



Reviewer: hpforever85 Signed Date: 2012.01.16 - 04:51PM Title: A Day In The Woods

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This is a sweet idea. I, too, thought the characterizations could have used a bit of tightening up, but for the most part, it was good. One thing I wanted to say, (And I'm not trying to sound critical) is that I found the writing a little hard to read sometimes. Some sentences seem to be nearly an entire paragraph, and while the thought in the writing is good, the run ons can make it very hard to read. Try breaking the descriptions and the explanations up a bit at times. Also, I was so glad you mentioned your other story. It was nice to hear why there hasn't been an update in a while.

Author's Response: Thank you for the suggestions and I'm sure that I will remember your advice in my future works. I'm glad that you have remained a constant adviser for me and helped a lot to improve my writing.



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2012.01.15 - 12:35PM Title: A Day In The Woods

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Very cute idea. I don't quite understand why you changed the ages of the children, you could have done it and kept it the same. Why would they have had a separate children's tent? I wouldn't put a seven year old and two year in a tent by themselves, esp if I had a magic tent that had several rooms - keep everyone together. I think Lily is supposed to come across as precocious and endearing, but she's rather obnoxious. The screaming to wake everyone up and being grossed out by her parents kissing - that doesn't track with her 'caring nature' Ginny mentions later in the story. At six or seven, I would think her question would be 'can we go swimming in the lake' not 'can I go swimming in the lake.' Please don't take offense, I just think this would be a much better story if the characterization was tightening up a bit.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for suggesting ideas and aided me in identifying errors. I'm sure that it will help me to reduce mistakes in my other works.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2012.01.15 - 08:59AM Title: A Day In The Woods

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The grammar is still a little quaint in places, but it was very enjoyable. A happy story. I hope you are getting on with your other story. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for sharing your views with me. I'm so thankful of you to be a constant source of motivation for me. Your suggestions had made me a better writer.



Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed Date: 2012.01.14 - 08:36PM Title: A Day In The Woods

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Ahhhhh This is so sweet. You did not need to make this AU... It would work really well with James, Al and Lily because it is a family story and the more children and their shennanigans, the better.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for giving your valuable opinion.




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