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Reviewer: ngayonatkailanman Signed
Date: 2013.02.28 - 04:07PM
Title: Ch 6, Harry tells his story
Touching.
Author's Response: Thank You,
Jet
Reviewer: Emlyn Signed
Date: 2013.01.12 - 07:54AM
Title: Ch 6, Harry tells his story
Interesting goings on. I wonder what will happen with the elves. I hope Ginny is starting to feel a little more secure about Harry. It could really hurt their relationship if not. I didn't expect the Neville/Hannah twist.
Author's Response: Elves are right at the heart of the story. They get more important as the story goes on.
Ginny will feel more secure once she is engaged, and even more secure once she is married. I don’t think she will ever get over being jealous, and I would expect that crossing her, getting her mad at you, will always be a bad idea.
I would expect even Harry would be a little careful. Look at the relationship between Arthur and Molly.
Neville and Hanna stay in the story, and by the time we get to the next generation (I have a second generation story in the works, but it needs a lot of work) their three children will be important in the story too.
Again thank you for the review.
Jet
Reviewer: Dad Signed
Date: 2013.01.10 - 10:28AM
Title: Ch 6, Harry tells his story
" It was so peaceful and I knew there would be a lot of pain if I came back, but we would have a much better chance of getting rid of Voldemort if I came back."
You used this sentence twice a paragraph apart. Harry seems to be taking on an awful lot of responsibility.
Author's Response: I’ve never been all that happy with this speech. I think a couple of other authors have done a better job. No one else has caught what you did, however, and this is the third site this has been posted on.
I’m not sure Harry would talk about himself that way even once. I’m not sure he would explain why he came back. I’m looking at that speech again. I swore that I was done revising the early part of my story, but I am going to work on this.
Would you like to help? I’m looking for another beta.
JetLaBarge
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