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Reviewer: mokitten Signed Date: 2013.10.11 - 09:32PM Title: Ch 14 Chocolate Frog cards and weddings
I love this story so far but I do have a problem with the Appleleaf side plot. I feel that Michael and Rosemary are rushing things by marrying and blending their family's when they have only just buried their former spouses.
Neither they nor the kids have had time to mourn their loss or get used to the idea of being a family. I'm glad you went for realism in that at least one of the kids had a problem with it and that should have been a big clue to Michael and Rosemary that they were going too fast.
They didn't have to rush the marriage, they could have continued to to co- parent their children for at least a year as a engaged couple with everyone aware that the family's coming together would be the end result. This would have given everyone time to mourn and accept the future changes. They could have tried to make other arrangements with Harry and / or the Weasley's in order to give everyone more time to deal with things rather then have to cope with everything at once.
Author's Response: I think, at least I portray it, as both families loosing almost everything in the war, houses, jobs, possessions. They came to Hogwarts with what they could bring with them. So if Michael was going to be working and they were going to be forming a family this was the logical way to do it.
Coriander is not the only one having a hard time. I guess the older two children are just being responsible oldest children. They have to do this for the sake of the family. I just don’t get into anybody else’s emotional state.
I added this part after the story was well under way to indicate that Rosemary and Michael are having their own problems. They are not getting married because they are falling in love. They are making the decision to fall in love because the best thing is to get married. Not a choice many in this Me Me Me world would make.
“We talked after the battle, and within a week had made up our minds, but somehow it wasn’t real, until the funeral. And then we buried them, saw the gravesites with graves for us between our spouses, and at least for me, it became very, very real.
“That night we made love for the first time. We had never even passionately kissed, and we, well we, well it wasn’t like it was the first time but it was the first time with a different partner. Michael is kind and considerate and,… but he’s not Bill, and it was good and strange. We made love, and it felt sort of good. When we were done, we both cried, held each other close feeling our naked bodies next to each other and cried and cried and cried, mostly for our dead spouses but also because it felt good, sorrow and joy mingled. We just bawled for a long time.
“It’s still like that, joy and tears. I am so lucky to have Michael. The wedding charms will be good, and we WILL love each other even more as the years go by. I wonder if the tears will ever end, though.”
The Appleleaf family stays in the story, but not as major characters. Tom and Cinnamon get married and end up teaching at Hogwarts.
I am so grateful for the review. I would much rather have a review that questions some aspect of the story than one that just compliments me. Please keep telling me what works and what doesn’t work.
Thank you again,
Jet
Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2013.02.01 - 01:36AM Title: Ch 14 Chocolate Frog cards and weddings
I am really enjoying your story. There is only one thing that is negative about it. That is your Ginny sounds like she needs a lot of reassurance. Needing to show too much in public and not relying on her natural beauty. Harry has fallen in love with her. He has proven it to her by the way he acted alone with her in Grimmauld Place. He is marrying her when he could have said no in the vault. Why does she feel so insecure??
Loved the chocolate frog cards.
Can't wait for the next chapter to be validated.
Author's Response: Ginny is a lot better after the wedding. I try to write her as being very upset and insecure because of all the love letters from the other witches. The Touch-of-Lust spell goes away for the rest of this story, not to appear again until … well, that’s another part of the saga.
Of course first we have to get through the wedding, and just because Harry and Ginny are eager that doesn’t mean thye know all that much.
Just because Ginny is very secure in Harry’s love does not mean that she isn’t jealous. I do have, well into the story, a place where another witch makes an obvious play for Harry. Need I tell you that making a play for Harry is NOT a good idea if Ginny finds out.
There is no way Harry would have said NO at the vault. He really wanted to marry Ginny even the first day, when he saw her after the battle and hoped they would have years together. It’s just the timing, the details, that are getting to Harry.
I won’t write any of Arthur and Molly’s children being unfaithful; they have too good a marriage and are too good an example. Same for the grandchildren. Mayhem and all sorts of issues, but no unfaithfulness to a spouse.
Thank you for the review.
Jet
