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SIYE Time:20:16 on 25th January 2022


Reviewer: Jeograph Signed Date: 2014.05.20 - 02:14PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Very sweet, a delightful portrait of a possibility in time. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. I have never been much into marauder era stories, but I think based on the strength of the characters portrayed here, when I get some time, I will look up some of your other writing.
Thanks again so much for this wonderful little story, it certainly brought me a series of smiles.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Marauders are really are my favorite era, and I've spent almost six years writing these characters, so they feel like my family. I'm so glad the story brought you smiles. I have weddings and anniversaries on the brain; my children's babysitter from when they were small is getting married and my parents will have their 50th anniversary soon. MNF



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 09:12AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Very nice and family orientated story. Loved it.

Good luck with the challenge.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I wrote it for fun, and I'm so happy people have responded as they have. MNF



Reviewer: pleurocoelus Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 08:28AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

I really hope you continue this. What happens with Ginny? Inquiring minds want to know.

Author's Response: Sorry, this is all that's written. Want more time travelling fun with Harry and Ginny, I've written other stories about that. MNF



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2014.05.17 - 07:08AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Ah how things change with just one turn of the dice. What happen to hermoine and everyone else like Ginny. Kutgw

Author's Response: That's what happens when you play with time. As for Hermione and Ginny, imagine what could have happened, as this is the last of it. MNF



Reviewer: maisa potter Signed Date: 2014.05.16 - 10:26AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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I really liked this story. But this last chapter created a LOT of questions. What happened to Voldemort? Was there a prophecy? Is Harry friends with the Weasleys and Hermione? Did he ever had a relationship with Ginny? Where is Hermione?

I hope you will write a follow up story, where all this questions could be answered.

Author's Response: Sorry, there's no follow up; instead imagine what you think had happened to them all. Are Harry and Ginny destined to be together? Perhaps Voldemort was stopped sooner? If you want to see how I would address these questions, I've written a whole series of Time Travel stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF



Reviewer: MyGinevra Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:38PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Way cool! Of course if Peter was not there then Sirius would have been the Secrett-Keeper and Voldemort would not have killed Harry's parents! Brilliant! And a brilliantly done and very entertaining little story.

Author's Response: Thank you my friend. It was a fun little bit of fluff, and a bit more about James and Lily's wedding than I had written before. MNF



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 03:24PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

I can understand hermines concerns about going back but Harry needs his little slice of heaven. Kutgw

Author's Response: Harry definitely does. I think Hermione needs an anti-anxiety potion most of the time; then again, its her worrying that keeps Harry and Ron safe most of the time. Thanks for reading and revieiwng, MNF



Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 03:07PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Nice twist and surprise. We all get to think about what it really means and what happened to Ginny and Voldemort. And so on. I liked it. Thanks.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your praise. I wanted to leave it vague, because as everyone knows, time is something you shouldn't play with. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF



Reviewer: MyGinevra Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 02:20PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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Very enjoyable to see your Marauders like this, Mutt, from an outsider's point of view, yet someone who was not quite an outsider. Their old personalities, the ones from your great novels, are there but not too strong, as they would be to someone like Harry, watching from a physical and emotional distance.

Author's Response: You know how I feel about these characters; even the canon ones are mine now (although I might need to wrestle a few away from JKR). Writing them is so comfortable and so easy, doing something like this was actually a bit difficult, as I couldn't give too much away. Thanks, MNF



Reviewer: MyGinevra Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 01:28PM Title: Chapter 1: Ob-La-De, Ob-La-Da

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I loved this opening to what promises to be a tender story and a nice little adventure. The chapter moves gently yet purposefully. The moments where Harry reminiscences about his parents' wedding day made me smile.

Author's Response: Glad that you liked it. The weight Harry must feel from the loss of all them seemed nearly unbearable to me. MNF



Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:30AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Good story, well rounded off. All your chapters are technically well-written but I still think the flow sometimes lacks clarity which kind of breaks my immersion. Kid sick - Harry felt weird (is he sick too?) - Hermione drags him to TT - he strips off his clothes! That's what is written so I had to read further and come back to piece together what you intended. I think if you had made it clear he recalled using the TT to go back to the future (not canon so I had to wonder - was that explained in an earlier chapter? If so, it's worth reminding the reader) and then, he can't recall leaving Hermione (MUST or it sounds as if she's still there when he strips!) to go to his room where he kicked off his clothes and tumbled into bed - then it would be crystal clear and still keep the fictional mystery. And the 'weirdness' of course, is presumably the effects of changing his timeline. I would distance that from the sick child by making him feel odd only after reaching the TT or even after time-travelling back maybe. It might seem obvious after working it out but the fact is we writers need to state it so every reader is kept in the flow. That's storytelling. The rest of the 'flow' of this chapter is fine; it's just that paragraph.

Next 'weakness' is there are a couple or so of Lily's explanations which are not very believable where she over-explains Draco instead of assuming Harry simply didn't hear the name properly. I mean, if someone in my family said, "by the way, Reginald is coming over later," and I said, "Reginald?" then they'd say, "Yes, he wants to borrow the lawnmower." What they wouldn't do is recited a detailed history of someone 'you've known your whole life' not, that is, unless I insist I never heard of him and they know I have a serious memory disorder.

Similarly with the Peter explanation. I mean Harry is not going to forget he always go to a funeral every year and ought to know who Peter is. I think there it could work if it was clarified Harry hardly knew him because he died before he was born and never goes to the annual visits 'to the grave of one of dad's old friends', and now it would be believable if Lily explained.

Finally, we're left in a total void about whether Harry ever met Hermione and the Weasleys (or did I miss something again?) Does Ginny even know him? What happened to Voldemort and the Horcruxes? One presumes that Hermione would also retain her memory of the other timeline and come storming over and give him a good talking to!

Okay, lengthy concrit feedback but it's still a good story and only a few sentences more would make it even greater imo.


Author's Response: Thanks for your feedback. MNF



Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:13AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Wow! A wonderful day for Harry, but is it a dream or did he actually change the past? EIther way, the scenes with him and his mun and him and his dad were great. Can't wait to read more and find out what has really happened.

Author's Response: Hey, glad you enjoyed it and I am leaving it vague as to whether it was a dream or a change in reality. This is the end, it was just meant to be some fluff; which isn't my usual genre at all. More writing on my other stories is on the way, MNF



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 06:19AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Poor Harry - it must be very disconcerting to wake up and find yourself in a family you know nothing about with a history you know nothing about.

Author's Response: I definitely think it would be. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF

Author's Response: I definitely think it would be. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2014.05.14 - 09:21PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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Excellent story! To be honest, I was grumbling mightily that by August 1998, Harry was not yet ready to take Ginny on this peaceful, fulfilling experience... but I am forcing myself to be objective and congratulate you on a well written piece!

Author's Response: Harry is only three months out from the Battle of Hogwarts. I know people tended to fall in love quickly in the HP world, but from a mental health standpoint, three months is a rapid time to get over all that had happened to Harry. I think he and Ginny would still be in early phases of their relationship, and that if he was going to be so vulnerable, he'd want Hermione with him. Just my thoughts on it Glad you enjoyed it otherwise, MNF



Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2014.05.14 - 01:53PM Title: Chapter 1: Ob-La-De, Ob-La-Da

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Ah, thanks, MNF! I think first time my tired eyes might have skimmed over the block of text at the top as relating to the song (kind of Author's aside) and I dived into the story. Second and third reads I admit I was reading paragraphs looking to see if I'd missed something! Sorry.

I'll see if this will let me raise my rating to 8..

Author's Response: Glad I could help. MNF



Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2014.05.14 - 10:30AM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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This is well-written, although I was confused by the detail together with lack of clarity of some situations. I thought Harry and Hermione were hunting Horcruxes and staying at a cottage? Then I wondered if the cottage start is already in the past? Also, was the 'castle' part of the Potter estate? Ironically, Harry's parents seemed like ghosts in this account and I missed them completely on first reading, especially Lily's entrance (which is normally a wedding highlight for me.) I think it was because of a kind of indirect reference to them instead of direct, and especially without any dialogue. Compare Pettigrew who was solid, defined, described, and had a voice and a place, and a purpose.

That apart, it is a good overall descriptive piece and maybe the next chapter will bring it together for me.

Author's Response: I'm sorry you got confused about when the story started. The date, August 1, 1998, is clearly stated on the first page of the first chapter. The final battle has taken place, and Harry has already taken over the properties and finances of the Potter and Black names. That is how he and Hermione have ended up at the cottage, they're living there to be away from the public. The castle was a Potter family property, again as referenced in the bold part before the chapter text began. Harry was witnessing things, which might be why James and Lily seemed so far away. He knew he couldn't interact with them, or any of the Marauders really. That he had any interaction with Peter was simply a fluke which he couldn't really avoid. He and Hermione went back with express intent NOT to change anything. I hope you do find the next chapter more helpful, MNF



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.05.14 - 12:40AM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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I think it is very sweet that Harry wanted to see his parent's wedding. Why Hermione? I'm a bit disappointed that he didn't take Ginny.

Author's Response: I can understand your disappointment, but I in my mind, Harry has deeper trust with Hermione than he does with Ginny. It isn't that he loves Hermione, because he doesn't, but he does trust her completely. I think their time on the run made it okay to be vulnerable in a way he's just not comfortable with Ginny yet. If you really stop and think about it, they only had a few weeks together as boyfriend and girlfriend and they're weren't that close before then. Sorry to have disappointed you some. Hope the last chapter makes up for it. MNF



Reviewer: Trucker Signed Date: 2014.05.13 - 07:29PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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All life, all love ends with pain, disasters, problems, death... but to live without love would be far, far worse than any pain, disaster, or problem... and it would still end in death.

Author's Response: This is true, but I know from the drama my life has been the last few months, love is the only thing which makes the pain, disaster or problems worth living. Glad you appreciated the chapter, MNF



Reviewer: Lokken Signed Date: 2014.05.13 - 04:56PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

Very nicely done! Bravo!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it. One more chapter to go. MNF



Reviewer: Lokken Signed Date: 2014.05.13 - 04:54PM Title: Chapter 2: I Choose You

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Very nicely done! Bravo!

Author's Response: Thanks. MNF




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