Reviews For Just One Happy Day, Together
Reviewer: Jeograph Signed Date: 2014.05.20 - 02:14PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Very sweet, a delightful portrait of a possibility in time. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. I have never been much into marauder era stories, but I think based on the strength of the characters portrayed here, when I get some time, I will look up some of your other writing. Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 09:12AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever
Reviewer: pleurocoelus Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 08:28AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever I really hope you continue this. What happens with Ginny? Inquiring minds want to know. Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2014.05.17 - 07:08AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Ah how things change with just one turn of the dice. What happen to hermoine and everyone else like Ginny. Kutgw Reviewer: maisa potter Signed Date: 2014.05.16 - 10:26AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever I really liked this story. But this last chapter created a LOT of questions. What happened to Voldemort? Was there a prophecy? Is Harry friends with the Weasleys and Hermione? Did he ever had a relationship with Ginny? Where is Hermione? Reviewer: MyGinevra Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:38PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Way cool! Of course if Peter was not there then Sirius would have been the Secrett-Keeper and Voldemort would not have killed Harry's parents! Brilliant! And a brilliantly done and very entertaining little story. Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 03:07PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Nice twist and surprise. We all get to think about what it really means and what happened to Ginny and Voldemort. And so on. I liked it. Thanks. Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:30AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Good story, well rounded off. All your chapters are technically well-written but I still think the flow sometimes lacks clarity which kind of breaks my immersion. Kid sick - Harry felt weird (is he sick too?) - Hermione drags him to TT - he strips off his clothes! That's what is written so I had to read further and come back to piece together what you intended. I think if you had made it clear he recalled using the TT to go back to the future (not canon so I had to wonder - was that explained in an earlier chapter? If so, it's worth reminding the reader) and then, he can't recall leaving Hermione (MUST or it sounds as if she's still there when he strips!) to go to his room where he kicked off his clothes and tumbled into bed - then it would be crystal clear and still keep the fictional mystery. And the 'weirdness' of course, is presumably the effects of changing his timeline. I would distance that from the sick child by making him feel odd only after reaching the TT or even after time-travelling back maybe. It might seem obvious after working it out but the fact is we writers need to state it so every reader is kept in the flow. That's storytelling. The rest of the 'flow' of this chapter is fine; it's just that paragraph. Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:13AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Wow! A wonderful day for Harry, but is it a dream or did he actually change the past? EIther way, the scenes with him and his mun and him and his dad were great. Can't wait to read more and find out what has really happened. Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 06:19AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever Poor Harry - it must be very disconcerting to wake up and find yourself in a family you know nothing about with a history you know nothing about. | |||||||
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