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SIYE Time:16:57 on 28th March 2024
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Reviewer: Jeograph Signed Date: 2014.05.20 - 02:14PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Very sweet, a delightful portrait of a possibility in time. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. I have never been much into marauder era stories, but I think based on the strength of the characters portrayed here, when I get some time, I will look up some of your other writing.
Thanks again so much for this wonderful little story, it certainly brought me a series of smiles.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Marauders are really are my favorite era, and I've spent almost six years writing these characters, so they feel like my family. I'm so glad the story brought you smiles. I have weddings and anniversaries on the brain; my children's babysitter from when they were small is getting married and my parents will have their 50th anniversary soon. MNF



Reviewer: carolyn jinn Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 09:12AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Very nice and family orientated story. Loved it.

Good luck with the challenge.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I wrote it for fun, and I'm so happy people have responded as they have. MNF



Reviewer: pleurocoelus Signed Date: 2014.05.18 - 08:28AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

I really hope you continue this. What happens with Ginny? Inquiring minds want to know.

Author's Response: Sorry, this is all that's written. Want more time travelling fun with Harry and Ginny, I've written other stories about that. MNF



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2014.05.17 - 07:08AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Ah how things change with just one turn of the dice. What happen to hermoine and everyone else like Ginny. Kutgw

Author's Response: That's what happens when you play with time. As for Hermione and Ginny, imagine what could have happened, as this is the last of it. MNF



Reviewer: maisa potter Signed Date: 2014.05.16 - 10:26AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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I really liked this story. But this last chapter created a LOT of questions. What happened to Voldemort? Was there a prophecy? Is Harry friends with the Weasleys and Hermione? Did he ever had a relationship with Ginny? Where is Hermione?

I hope you will write a follow up story, where all this questions could be answered.

Author's Response: Sorry, there's no follow up; instead imagine what you think had happened to them all. Are Harry and Ginny destined to be together? Perhaps Voldemort was stopped sooner? If you want to see how I would address these questions, I've written a whole series of Time Travel stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF



Reviewer: MyGinevra Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:38PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Way cool! Of course if Peter was not there then Sirius would have been the Secrett-Keeper and Voldemort would not have killed Harry's parents! Brilliant! And a brilliantly done and very entertaining little story.

Author's Response: Thank you my friend. It was a fun little bit of fluff, and a bit more about James and Lily's wedding than I had written before. MNF



Reviewer: Birlan Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 03:07PM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Nice twist and surprise. We all get to think about what it really means and what happened to Ginny and Voldemort. And so on. I liked it. Thanks.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your praise. I wanted to leave it vague, because as everyone knows, time is something you shouldn't play with. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF



Reviewer: Hippothestrowl Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:30AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Good story, well rounded off. All your chapters are technically well-written but I still think the flow sometimes lacks clarity which kind of breaks my immersion. Kid sick - Harry felt weird (is he sick too?) - Hermione drags him to TT - he strips off his clothes! That's what is written so I had to read further and come back to piece together what you intended. I think if you had made it clear he recalled using the TT to go back to the future (not canon so I had to wonder - was that explained in an earlier chapter? If so, it's worth reminding the reader) and then, he can't recall leaving Hermione (MUST or it sounds as if she's still there when he strips!) to go to his room where he kicked off his clothes and tumbled into bed - then it would be crystal clear and still keep the fictional mystery. And the 'weirdness' of course, is presumably the effects of changing his timeline. I would distance that from the sick child by making him feel odd only after reaching the TT or even after time-travelling back maybe. It might seem obvious after working it out but the fact is we writers need to state it so every reader is kept in the flow. That's storytelling. The rest of the 'flow' of this chapter is fine; it's just that paragraph.

Next 'weakness' is there are a couple or so of Lily's explanations which are not very believable where she over-explains Draco instead of assuming Harry simply didn't hear the name properly. I mean, if someone in my family said, "by the way, Reginald is coming over later," and I said, "Reginald?" then they'd say, "Yes, he wants to borrow the lawnmower." What they wouldn't do is recited a detailed history of someone 'you've known your whole life' not, that is, unless I insist I never heard of him and they know I have a serious memory disorder.

Similarly with the Peter explanation. I mean Harry is not going to forget he always go to a funeral every year and ought to know who Peter is. I think there it could work if it was clarified Harry hardly knew him because he died before he was born and never goes to the annual visits 'to the grave of one of dad's old friends', and now it would be believable if Lily explained.

Finally, we're left in a total void about whether Harry ever met Hermione and the Weasleys (or did I miss something again?) Does Ginny even know him? What happened to Voldemort and the Horcruxes? One presumes that Hermione would also retain her memory of the other timeline and come storming over and give him a good talking to!

Okay, lengthy concrit feedback but it's still a good story and only a few sentences more would make it even greater imo.


Author's Response: Thanks for your feedback. MNF



Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 11:13AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

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Wow! A wonderful day for Harry, but is it a dream or did he actually change the past? EIther way, the scenes with him and his mun and him and his dad were great. Can't wait to read more and find out what has really happened.

Author's Response: Hey, glad you enjoyed it and I am leaving it vague as to whether it was a dream or a change in reality. This is the end, it was just meant to be some fluff; which isn't my usual genre at all. More writing on my other stories is on the way, MNF



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2014.05.15 - 06:19AM Title: Chapter 3: Be My Forever

Poor Harry - it must be very disconcerting to wake up and find yourself in a family you know nothing about with a history you know nothing about.

Author's Response: I definitely think it would be. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF

Author's Response: I definitely think it would be. Thanks for reading and reviewing, MNF




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