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Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed
Date: 2016.04.09 - 06:13PM
Title: Prelude
Interesting beginning. I am curious to see where you will go with this story.
Author's Response: My Beta Arnel has suggested weekly updates. I think this will be an unusual Albus story, the Rose and Scorpius subplot non-withstanding.
Have you read the earlier stories?
Thank you for the review.
Jet.
Reviewer: jmcmutt Signed
Date: 2016.03.21 - 09:55PM
Title: Prelude
I love your series. Glad you are starting the new story
Author's Response: Thank you. I am enjoying writing it.
Jet
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2016.03.21 - 03:18PM
Title: Prelude
Harry is smoking a good joint at the moment if he thinks albus is going to have an easy 7 years.....kutgw
Author's Response: It would not be much of a story if Albus had an easy seven years. Harry has other issues he is going to have to deal with. Then you have Ginny and Cleopatra, Rose and Scorpius, and a few more conflicts.
I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you. Jet
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2016.03.21 - 02:06PM
Title: Prelude
This first chapter is full of promise with all the questions you've dangled in front of your readers' noses and I'm wondering if this has anything to do with JK Rowling's Cursed Child play. I hope the second chapter comes out soon because I'm burning to know more about this story and its new character, Cleopatra and why Harry's supposed to be the "new" Dumbledore.
Well done.
Author's Response: It has nothing to do with the Cursed Child play. The next chapter was written before I even published my Almost Happily Ever After story, and the direction of the story was set long ago.
I just read Northumbrian's comments on James and Albus's birthdays. For me Canon has to be the books. Trying to go back and change whet I have written as JK Rowling continues to publish would be an impossible task.
Cleopatra is an interesting character. Maybe you will have a chance to help me develop her.
I've thought about how the Potter series would be written from Dumbledor's perspective. I know some readers and writers seem to hate him. I think he was given an impossible task. He had his flaws, but we all do. Harry is, of course, not Dumbledore, but he is responsible for Albus's safety both as Head Auror and as his father. Harry and Ginny will continue to play an important role in the story. They are in most of the first eight chapters.
Thank you for the review. I hope to hear from you soon.
Jet LaBarge
Reviewer: RighT3rantZ Signed
Date: 2016.03.21 - 12:27PM
Title: Prelude
I'll give it a shot for you. If you could cut back on using 'obviously' it would be great, it comes across as condescending or redundant. Your pronouns seemed to have lost track who they were filling in for a few times. Don't be afraid to use the proper name in a sentence instead of he or she. Also, you don't have to continuously give recaps of your characters. Who could forget Dobedo and his meat cleaver? As an example you could have just written Dobedo was there with his cleaver. You don't need to reference how everyone in that instance is being affected by Dopedo's presence. Those were the ones that jumped out. Other than that I will be reading to spot your progress.
Author's Response: Thank you! I know I need a more critical Beta. I have one, and may have picked up another one. I am going to make sure my Beta reads your comments as well.
I will also look at the Prelude again.
You do have a right to rant, and especially if it is constructive criticism it is really appreciated.
Jet LaBarge
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