Search:

SIYE Time:2:28 on 29th March 2024
SIYE Login: no

Reviews For Darkness Within

Reviewer: nayin1704 Signed Date: 2018.07.21 - 08:01PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

This is the first time that I'm reading this story.



Reviewer: BrianMcLyr Signed Date: 2016.09.19 - 07:51PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstarstar

so much left unsaid you pique my curiosity and anticipation

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Glad you're curious.



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2016.08.10 - 01:28PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstarhalf-star

Somehow I can't help thinking that Anna is the grandchild of Tom Riddle. Although, according to the timeline it should rather be the great-grandchild.
If my guess is correct, I wonder if anyone knows about it, beside the grandmother of course. On the other hand, does her grandmother know that Voldemort is the former Tom Riddle? Anyway, probably my imagination is just running riot.
In any case it's an intriguing start into the story. Thank you!

Author's Response: Wow, you've asked some great questions! I'm sure you understand that I can't answer them at this time without giving away too much of the plot. The coming chapters will provide many clues. Thank you for the review!



Reviewer: potterfan2008 Signed Date: 2016.08.09 - 02:44PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstar

Very intriguing beginning. Poor Ginny having to relive everything. I really hope Anna isn't a descendent of Tom's that would be awful. I'm a bit concerned about what Katherine expects of her granddaughter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2016.08.07 - 06:29PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

Well, I finally had the time to sit down and begin giving this the care it deserves.

Your first chapter is basic, clear and powerful -- well done!

I'll offer you one minor technical suggestion -- always start each new line with a single blank space. This will, for mysterious reasons, cut down on the number of spurious white spaces that get inserted into words later in the line. It basically helps to alleviate a minor bug with the parser.

Secondly, you wrote one clause that I don't quite believe. Specifically, with the scenario in which you wrote "Katherine could tell it pained him that he was beholden..." I am under the strong impression that Katherine "got the strong impression that it pained him", but I don't think she "could tell" something that wasn't actually so. A minor distinction, but when one reads good writing, it is such subtle details that rise to mind.

Finally, as I have read your many comments over the past year, I frequently try to assess whether the statements are more 'Molly' or more 'Arthur'. I haven't yet decided whether this story falls along that spectrum. It's nonetheless a good one!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the detailed review and for the technical advice. Technology is not always my friend! Good catch on the "pained him" quote. I really hope you continue to enjoy the story!



Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2016.08.06 - 02:09AM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstarstar

I started reading this story based on the reviews from GHL and Aurorofthelight and I'm glad I did. This first chapter has certainly caught my attention and I'm very interested in reading more. I certainly like the twist you're setting up for Neville's education by including him in Anna's tutoring. The idea that Anna may have a distinct link to a certain Dark Lord gives me the collywobbles, especially if her grandmother is right about the horrible things that could befall her at Hogwarts. Well done. I'm off to read chapter two.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you're interested in my story. Anna's situation is precarious at best, but at least the Dark Lord is still gone for the moment.



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2016.07.30 - 02:56PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstar

Not quite sure where the time line is for Anna and Remus? How old is Neville?

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Neville is in his second year at Hogwarts, the Chamber of Secrets year. He is currently twelve.



Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2016.07.30 - 06:03AM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstarstar

So one of SIYE's best reviewers has delivered on the other side of the fence, and a very novel premise at that!

I'm currently on travel and have barely any time to read, let alone comment, but I promise I'll review properly when things settle!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.07.29 - 07:13PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

Sorry! I meant an evil, horrid start but an interesting storyline! :O

Author's Response: Thank you so much!



Reviewer: Aurorofthelight Signed Date: 2016.07.29 - 01:47PM Title: Chapter 1 No One Could Hear

starstarstarstarhalf-star

An evil, horrid but interesting story line and start! Will be watching with interest on where you take this! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad your interested. The next chapter will be posted next week.




../back
‘! Go To Top ‘!

Sink Into Your Eyes is hosted by Grey Media Internet Services. HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related characters are trademarks of Warner Bros. TM & © 2001-2006. Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions on this site are those made by the owners. All stories(fanfiction) are owned by the author and are subject to copyright law under transformative use. Authors on this site take no compensation for their works. This site © 2003-2006 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Special thanks to: Aredhel, Kaz, Michelle, and Jeco for all the hard work on SIYE 1.0 and to Marta for the wonderful artwork.
Featured Artwork © 2003-2006 by Yethro.
Design and code © 2006 by SteveD3(AdminQ)
Additional coding © 2008 by melkior and Bear