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SIYE Time:20:37 on 28th March 2024
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Reviews For A Proper Epilogue

Reviewer: GHL Signed Date: 2017.02.08 - 01:58PM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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Interesting direction to have the Malfoy plot moving in. He was remarkably patient after the first Wizarding War, but operating now with a sense of urgency. Perhaps he senses a power vacuum that might not have been present 17 years earlier.

Trying times within the quartet, which is certainly to be expected. One minor stylistic suggestion is that you might consider tipping your hand a little as you shift a scene from banter to hostility. It is natural for people on edge to do this, of course -- humour and provocation often veer very close to the same fine line. You might, however, drop a few subtle non-verbal cues, though, to alert the reader when things are starting to get tenuous. Otherwise, the reader is left wondering how a casual chat among mates could sour so quickly.

Anyway, I'm definitely enjoying what you've created here!





Author's Response: The way I thought about it, other than needing a villain not named Molly, Hermione's, or Ron, is that Lucius sat back the first time, biding his time and attempting to work in ever so slimy a fashion within the Ministry power structure, trying to control things through the incompetent Fudge. Kingsley will not be subject to such tactics, so Lucius, fearing being punished in one way or another, decides to seize power. Fool me once, and all that! Thank you for the tip! Now I need to find my occasions of such writing faux pas.



Reviewer: MollyandArthur Signed Date: 2017.02.07 - 10:48AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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Fascinating chapter! I hope Ginny will talk about her experiences at Hogwarts. The others really should know what happened. Lucius is such an irritatingly vile character. He hasn't learned anything from the past few years under the thumb of his Dark Lord.

Author's Response: I think it is a History Channel special series entitled Finding Hitler that reported on the discovery of Nazi munitions factories built in South America as this evil remnant of Muggle Death Eaters were plotting the post-war bombing of the United States! People like Lucius either slink back into society, biding their time, or rush in to fill the recently created void in the power structure. As for Ginevra, she may be reluctant to talk openly about her horrid sixth year, but I trust her fiancé to provide a safe outlet.



Reviewer: Arnel Signed Date: 2017.02.02 - 02:08AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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I swear I heard Jason Isaac's voice creeping out of Lucius Malfoy's speeches! Well done for giving him such an uncanny likeness. I'm not relishing his plans for trying to do-in Harry Potter and then conquer the Wizarding world. I'm hoping desperately that Harry managed to put the Elder Wand back in Dumbledore's tomb before he and Ginny left Hogwarts!



Author's Response: Thank you so much! I try to keep the movies from creeping in, but Jason Isaacs will always be Lucius to me! Thanks again, it means a lot to me!



Reviewer: hpforever85 Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 09:11PM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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No Review

Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry I fell short of your standards this chapter. Hopefully things will improve in the near future!



Reviewer: indywriter Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 04:02PM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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Another interesting development... It seemed as though Draco and Pansy were on the same page, but now I'm not so sure. And what a twist it would be if Pansy was to become the driving force of the new Death Eater movement. I'm still not sure how Draco stands in all this. Is he a reluctant Death Eater doing his father's bidding? Will he turn into an ally (albeit a reluctant one) to Harry and Ginny? Or will he come up with his own game that sets the Death Eaters on their ears while still attacking H&G?

So many possibilities...

I like how you let slip that Hermione's parents were in on their own memory modification. That will certainly make things less awkward later on.

Hopefully Ron and Ginny can make peace... after we see what Hogwarts was really like the previous year.

Author's Response: I think you've done an excellent job of summarizing Pansy and Draco ... a reluctant opportunist and a full-fledged coward who learned how to bully in order to cover his insecurities. Does either one truly have a mind of his or her own? Thank you for the fantastic review!



Reviewer: mdauben Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 11:32AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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I admit I was a little confused by the start of this chapter. I thought I had missing something but once I read further it al started to make sense. I'm surprised that Harry and the Weasley's didn't at least tell Malfoy and Parkenson to leave after questioning them. They certainly had no legitimate reason to be at a private funeral. I'll be looking forward to seeing if the two Slytherin's end up caught in Malfoy the elder's foolish plan when it inevitably comes crashing down, or if they wise up before its too late..

Author's Response: Oooooooh! Excellent questions! And thank you for taking tghe time and effort to leave a review. They are greatly appreciated, as each one helps me improve as a writer -- or so I hope! LOL!

Author's Response: A better writer would have made it clear that Harry and Ginny wanted them gone, but they were overidden by the apologetic parents who, indeed, are always loooking for the best in people. That was supposed to be clear from Harry and Ginny's conversation, but I guess I missed the mark.



Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 10:05AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

Well im glad draco still is rethinking everything but pasey is going to go down witht he father fast and hard....sr malfoy is going to wish he never came up with his plan shortlly.....harry will kick the snot out of him in two seconds......as for ron....he is an wanker........kutgw

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to leave a thoughtful review. I love the speculation! You may be right on target ... or there may be a few unanticipated twists! Time will tell!



Reviewer: Dad Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 07:29AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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I thought the joint from the last chapter was a bit odd, from cliff hanger to love scene, even with further explanation. Also, are we sure Hermione's parents agreed to have their memories modified before going to Australia? Even in an alternative universe? Ron is one of my favourite characters, but he has an uncontrollable mouth at times. But that's what makes him Ron.

Author's Response: Thanks for submitting a thoughtful review. As for the transition, I wanted an obvious, if not shocking change of mood. I re-wrote a lot of this section in order to fit the rules of this site, toning down Harry and Ginny's very passionate love scene and focusing more on their discussion about Draco and Pansy's attendance at the funeral. My own thoughts were that nothing could be more boring than the questioning of two little liars and walking around the reception following a funeral ... a time when people don't know what to say and mince words more than at any other time. If that is a disappointment, I apologize. Now, as for Hermione's parents' involvement in the decision to have their memories modified, canon is silent. We are told that she modified them and they have gone off to Australia. This story is NOT meant to be AU. I am trying to construct a compelling story about how the characters got where Jo told us they did in her epilogue. As you can tell, I believe there would be some bumps along that road. Nevertheless, the primary focus of this story is Harry and Ginny, though I try not to ignore other favorite characters. I do not hate Ron, but I see many character flaws that he can overcome with more maturity and less jealousy. Given the focus on Harry and Ginny, the canonical silence on Hermione's parents consent (or lack thereof), and the plethora of angst-ridden stories about tension between Hermione's and her parents, I chose to go another route! As for the plethora of those stories ... I enjoy reading them. Some are quite compelling. But I personally have a problem understanding how a couple of involuntary amnesiacs would choose to walk away from their home and go to Australia! That would be a pretty impressive bit of selective memory modification, highly sophisticated stuff, for a witch who seemed very uncomfortable with obliviation in the cafe when they were attacked following the wedding. Ugh! I hate to leave such a long explanation! Since it was obviously necessary, I need to accept the adage that the necessity, itself, is a sign of poor writing. My apologies!



Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed Date: 2017.01.31 - 06:50AM Title: Chapter 7 - Making Love, Making Plans

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Unfortunately, Lucius's philosophy is widespread in the world, slightly different from country to country, but always with the same background. And surprisingly enough it often works, far too often.

Well, I doubt that Hermione and Ron are back on time to attend the wedding. I guess that we'll see...

I'm looking forward to reading Ginny's tale about her time at Hogwarts. I'm very curious about your version. Sadly, it is often mitigated to sugar coat Harry's silly break-up. Not only by Ron.

You've mentioned in one of your replies that this is a shortened version of the original story. May I ask if you'd tell us where to find the original story? Of course, not until you published the very last chapter.

Yikes, I amlost forgot, many thanks for another wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The story is not truly shortened. Only the sex has been truncated. It was originally published at Simply Undeniable in the Restricted Section. I believe that site is gone. Matters not, for I removed my story as the graphic nature was becoming a point of irritation for my wonderful, but very private, wife. In my defense, the reviews at SU frequently mentioned that, despite the graphic descriptions, the scenes communicated more about love than love-making! LOL! Anyway, the only place the original exists is on my hard drive. Sorry! As for Ginny's account, it was not covered very well. Therefore, I am going to need to craft an entirely new scene. The requests for more information show me that I needed a greater focus on this element! Forgive me if it takes a couple of days to complete!




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