SIYE Time:18:46 on 2nd December 2023 | | |
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Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.12.01 - 03:02PM
Title: Chapter 64
    
I'm so relieved that Ginny and common sense prevailed in this chapter. I was worried that you'd follow canon and lead Harry and his friends on the same wild goose chase that happened in OotP. It was good to see that the group could make a decision together that helped Harry do what he needed to do while keeping him safe in the castle.
I absolutely love Ginny's character development in this chapter. She's become someone Harry can lean on without being judged, who can be the person he needs to be in whatever situation they find themselves: he knows she will be there silently lending support, occasionally becoming the voice of reason and helping him accomplish the things he must do. I think he appreciates that she isn't quick to nag or push him into talking when he doesn't want to because he isn't ready. In this instance she took him to Dumbledore, the adult he really needed and who needed to know what Voldemort was trying to make Harry do.
Unfortunately, you've given Harry quite the guilt trip over almost taking his friends into harm's way. I think that's going to take a few days for him to work through. I hope he apologizes to his friends for how rotten he's treated them in the past few hours.
Finally, I'm relieved that Dumbledore gave harry permission to tell his friends of the prophecy. While they can't know the entire thing, it will be a load of Harry's shoulders to have others carrying part of the burden too. I'm glad Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville accepted Harry's fate and are remaining supportive. you kept each of their reactions in character, although I was surprised that Neville was a bit weepy. Never pegged him for someone easily emotional. I think you've thought about his reaction in more depth than you're willing to show in this chapter.
Well done.
Author's Response: The canon foray into the Ministry was exhilarating, but I didn't have the heart to have Harry make that same mistake again. The extra defense training and more time with Moody will have impressed upon Harry how dire things would have been, had they fallen for the ruse. He's definitely going to feel awful for a while and beat himself up, but his friends are pretty good at getting through to him.
I don't like to overplay the "Ginny is so much like Molly" thing, because I see them as so different and pretending they react the same flattens both of their characters. That said, Molly's more demonstrative style of conflict coming out when Ginny's frustration reaches a breaking point makes sense in my head. It's how conflict was modeled in her home, and I could see her falling back on it in a pinch. And I could definitely see Harry being a bit startled by it and it putting him on the back foot. Probably for the best that he didn't argue; she's better at it by a mile!
Beyond that, I love that you brought up her bringing Harry to Dumbledore. She recognized that he needed to talk to someone he could be more open with, and even though she wants to be that person (and has earned that kind of trust), Ginny pulled Harry away to deal with the issue with an adult. Super important move by Gin, and it showcases her growth.
I hate having to make Harry keep secrets, so this chapter was as much of a relief to me as it was for him. As for his friends' reactions, I picture Neville as being more blindsided by this kind of thing than the others, if only because Harry has shared more with the others and for longer. He's making his way into the trio-turned-quartet, but it's still pretty new to him.
Thanks for the fantastic comment! It brightened my day!
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed
Date: 2023.11.27 - 04:28AM
Title: Chapter 63
    
Oh, yikes. I briefly thought Harry went to the ministry alone. But this must be one of his dreams.
I'm glad he now has plenty of adults he can trust by his side, so he doesn't have to endanger his best friends.
Great chapter!
Author's Response: Yeah, I sure hope Harry doesn’t accidentally bring his friends to the ministry unnecessarily… That’d be a real shame… Surely nothing will happen to make his teenage brain ignore the warning signs and rush off unprepared… Right?
Thanks for the kind comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.26 - 08:58PM
Title: Chapter 63
    
I really like your version of Harry's OWL exams. His self-satisfaction seems justified because he feels he completed the questions knowledgeably. I particularly liked the practical potions exam wherein he was asked to reason out how to finish the potion and discern its use. That shows a competent knowledge of ingredients and their uses in various potions. I also had to smile when his Astronomy and History of Magic exams followed canon; thank goodness Professor McGonagall wasn't involved with the sacking of Hagrid and that the latter is still securely in his job. I could have done without Harry's dream in the middle of the History of Magic exam, however. I'm not looking forward to the next chapter and sincerely hope that Harry is able to communicate with Sirius in order to foil Voldemort in his quest of the prophecy.
All in all, a good chapter indeed.
P.S. Just to be a bit of a quibbler, Professor Tofty is a wizard and Professor Marchbanks is old enough to have given Dumbledore his exams!
Author's Response: I don’t know why I always imagined Professor Tofty as a witch, but it’s so stuck in my head that it spilled onto the page! Griselda being old enough to have proctored Dumbledore’s exams is absolutely correct in canon, but my brain refuses to abide the thought. Well done noticing those unaccounted for variations!
The potions practical might be one of the sections of which I’m most proud. What a delight to see that you noticed and appreciated it! The next chapter may be challenging for Harry and for readers, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see… Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2023.11.24 - 03:51AM
Title: Chapter 63
    
Well i hope that harry uses his head shortly and not rush off,,,,but since he has been in a state for a while…I’m not sure he is going to think clearly…kutgw
Author's Response: This Harry's a little less rash than his canon counterpart, but a vision like that would be enough to make anyone consider hasty actions. We'll see what he does next week... Thanks for the comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.18 - 02:35AM
Title: Chapter 62
    
I see you're tying up all the loose ends for Harry's fifth year. I'm glad Harry had the companionship of Sirius and Remus while everyone else was in Hogsmeade and that he has a job to do to help eliminate rooms on the Horcrux hunt. Your Quidditch games were nice, too. It's good to see the good sportsmanship of Harry and his teammates despite their loss of the Quidditch Cup. As much as it's nice to have Gryffindor win a game or season, it's good that they can congratulate another successful team with dignity. Well done.
Author's Response: There are lots of loose ends to tie up, but that’s going into overdrive in the next few chapters. I think we learn more about Harry from his losses, so seeing the Puffs hoist the trophy gave some fun opportunities. I also liked the Sirius, Remus, and Harry section. Those moments are pretty special to me. Thanks for commenting!
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2023.11.17 - 04:27PM
Title: Chapter 62
    
Well Gryffindor can’t win it all…but then again they all put in a good show…kutgw
Author's Response: Having Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup and so much else feels overdone to me, so I liked having them come second to a fantastic Hufflepuff team. Thanks for commenting!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.11 - 10:27PM
Title: Chapter 61
    
My compliments to you for producing a chapter worthy of an Umbridge speech! The meeting between the adults and Harry concerning the Horcruxes certainly shows the ponderous committee approach to solving problems. They certainly came close to finding the right place to look for Hufflepuff's cup and the possibility for the Ravenclaw relic, but they just didn't quite get there in their round-about discussion. Well done for nearly putting me and Harry to sleep!
Author's Response: It's tough for me to figure out what details to include in the story that are important for the characters to know but that the readers already understand. They are closing in on some more horcruxes, though! Thanks for the comment!
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2023.11.11 - 01:02PM
Title: Chapter 61
    
While in one form I agree with albus in another and more dominant way harry is correct and its time they work them in and more youth…it is after all the youths hat carrying on the traditions that have been laced down before them,,,kutgw
Author's Response: I think it'll take a little more convincing to get Dumbledore to agree with your assessment, but I'm looking forward to having the students more involved in the future. Thanks for the comment!
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed
Date: 2023.11.07 - 09:23AM
Title: Chapter 60
    
Good to know that Remus hasn't left Tonks' bedside. Was this a push in the right direction?
Harry is slowly getting better at dodging awkward questions. I'm really excited to see how his friends will take it when Harry finally tells them the whole truth whenever this will happen. I know I myself would become cautious, always wondering if there are more things that are being kept secret from me.
I wouldn't be surprised if won't see much of Ron in the near future... lol.
Author's Response: Remus is quite stubborn, but there’s nothing like a near-death experience to make you reconsider your prior assumptions. Harry has definitely been forced to be more secretive about things than in canon, when he shared everything with Ron and Hermione almost immediately. I like the emotional tension of him wrestling with his responsibility to the adults who’ve placed so much faith in him and his connection to his friends who want to support him. There will definitely be more of that struggle coming up!
One reason to have Ron ask Padma instead of Parvati is to have him connected with someone outside of Gryffindor. Having teens with raging hormones dating someone they share a common room with seems like it was part of why Ron’s amorous escapades in canon didn’t go all that well. Maybe trying to make the most of time walking around the castle and at meals instead of just constantly snogging in the common room will help the relationship be a bit deeper emotionally?
Reviewer: Prongs I Signed
Date: 2023.11.07 - 08:55AM
Title: Chapter 60
    
Yes, Harry is in a bit of a dilemma. But why would he put his friends in danger when he now has adults he can turn to? I'm really curious to see whether it will be Harry who defeats Voldemort in the end, or one of his mentors, maybe even Sirius.
Author's Response: A teenage boy may have good options available, but that doesn't mean he'll take those options! I do think the concern you express is reasonable, though. Having better connection to qualified adults will be a big deal, as long as Harry chooses to rely on them... Thanks for the comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.04 - 10:50PM
Title: Chapter 60
    
OK... so it wasn't a week that I had to wait to find out if Tonks survived her ordeal in the corridor. I've been reading your chapters at work and haven't had the guts to take the time to comment while on the clock. If you look at the time stamps on the last four chapters, I've written these comments all within the space of several hours, after finding the time to gather all the notes I made while reading.
Anyway, Harry certainly has a big dilemma regarding telling Ginny, Ron and Hermione about the Horcruxes or keeping silent for a while longer. I would have thought by now that he would have done.
Yeah, for Tonks waking from the snake bites. I love how Sirius teased her, earning himself a slap, for insinuating that there was more to her relationship with Remus and that Tonks deliberately got hurt to get some sympathy and a proper date out of him!
I really like the conversation with the group. We learn a lot about their concern for Tonks as well as their readiness to move past emotional hurts. It's so typical teenage boys to not know how to comfort a crying girl and that Ginny expertly slipped into the role to help Hermione.
I had to smile at Harry's wish that Umbridge's fireplace would malfunction and strand her in Tibet!
Finally, I'm glad Ron's picked Padma over Lavender for this next Hogsmeade weekend! I hope it goes well for him.
Author's Response: Okay, the fact that you take notes in order to write detailed and helpful reviews is so very kind. I can't tell you how appreciative that makes me feel! There will definitely be some information sharing in the near future, but the full extent of it will have to wait for another chapter. I couldn't kill off Tonks, at this point, as she's one of my favorite characters. Get to asking her out, Remus! I try to be realistic with how I write the characters, and I just kinda doubt Harry would know what to do when Hermione cries, and probably the same for Ron and Neville. As for Ron and Padma, I'm excited to see how things turn out! Thanks so much for your spectacular comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.04 - 10:37PM
Title: Chapter 59
    
I'm sure Harry curses Umbridge every morning for making his Quidditch team get up at oh-dark-thirty, althou it seems the girls are more enthusiastic than the boys.
Good to see the other teachers helping the Gryffindors keep their spirits up by giving points for good work.
Oh, dear! The corridor... Shame on you, Harry! You're a foul, loathsome, evil little writer for having Nagini attack Tonks! I only hope that the St Mungo's Healers will be able to save her! ...And now I have to wait a week to find out! Ugh!
Author's Response: At this point, I'm sure Harry spends lots of time cursing Umbridge. I like to think the professors are sympathetic to the plight of the Gryffindors, though last-minute points in years past may prevent them from being too generous.
I wanted an opportunity to showcase Tonks' dueling prowess and quick thinking and a chance to make the readers squirm. Thanks for commenting!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.04 - 10:31PM
Title: Chapter 58
    
Detention with Dolores. Ugh! So glad the Hush Putty is such a success and that Harry and his fellow detainees are able to shake off the whispers within a few minutes of leaving their incarceration. Teenagers are such good actors!
I'm glad Harry is happy that the Slytherins are succeeding at the defensive spells they're learning, especially the Patronus Charm. His conversation with Blaise and the other Slytherins made me smile because he readily praised their efforts and found a topic they could all agree upon. Harry's conversation with Blaise about taking o a leadership role is very well done. You take the viewpoint of both Harry and Blaise into consideration and show both sides equally so that the reader understands where each is coming from: especially Blaise's need to either stay neutral or actually choose a side. That's a big decision for someone their age, considering the ramifications if Voldemaort does win eventually.
Finally, it's interesting to watch Harry learn that other people need to think about protecting others and not just him. Harry has learned a little about what it's like to be a Slytherin, I think.
Well done.
Author's Response: The conversation between Harry and Blaise was one I spent lots of time refining and going back to edit, so I'm thrilled that it worked well for you. I'm not personally a fan of Draco, but having a complex and nuanced Slytherin was something I really wanted to do. I like examining Blaise as a way to better understand the broader setting. I think you're right that Harry learned a great deal from the conversation. Thanks for the great comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.11.04 - 05:08PM
Title: Chapter 57
    
Good chapter...I like what Harry sees as the strengths of each leader of the DA and how they each contribute to the planning sessions. Their discussion of keeping the DC going in the coming year had compelling reasons unique to each individual. It made me smile when one of the stipulations was that the candidate needed to be a non-Quidditch fanatic!
Oh, Harry, it is not wise to bate Umbridge. Nothing good comes from doing so. I'm glad the Gryffindor team was able to come to a consensus that early morning practices were their best option, but I find it hard to feel sorry for those members who want to sleep in!
Well done.
Author's Response: It was fun to write Harry's estimations of his friends' strengths. The DC has been a highlight for me, so it's great to know you approve of it continuing. Sure, it's not a great choice for Harry to poke at Umbridge, but he's got enough Marauder in him that it didn't make sense for me to have him keep his head down for an entire term. Sassy Harry is a canon staple! :) Thanks for leaving such an encouraging comment to boost my spirits!
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2023.11.04 - 08:26AM
Title: Chapter 60
    
I think Umbridge has run her course and i am hopeful that she makes an exit soon because she really is a piece of work and dumb as a box of rocks…i take that back, i feel sorry for the rocks….as for Toni’s im glad to see she is making a recovery and i do hope this helps Remus wake up a lot and ask the poor girl out…kutgw
Author's Response: Thanks for the encouragement! Umbridge still has a role to play in this story, but hopefully it will be worth the frustration of dealing with her for so long. I'm glad Tonks is on the mend, too.
Reviewer: Gin110881 Signed
Date: 2023.10.30 - 08:54AM
Title: Chapter 59
    
Ouch, this time, it was Tonks who got hit. I hope she recovers soon (and gets a get-well visit from Remus). I'm curious to see what conclusions Dumbledore and especially Harry will draw from the incident.
Author's Response: I hated to do this to Tonks, but it just made too much sense to have Madam Bones increase security. Thought she availed herself well in the fight with on-target spell casting. Thanks for dropping a comment!
Reviewer: skiutahnum1 Signed
Date: 2023.10.29 - 06:30PM
Title: Chapter 59
    
Well Im glad to see harry has used his head and his resources effectively this time around…but also nice to see that everyone is believing what is going on…kutgw
Author's Response: Yeah, having a better connection with Sirius and Dumbledore really helps Harry in a moment of crisis like this. Thanks for checking in with a comment!
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.10.25 - 01:05AM
Title: Chapter 56
    
A beautifully written chapter concerning a hard subject for Harry to handle, but with all the adult support he had after reporting his dreams to Sirius and Remus, he's handling it much better than he did in canon. I really like the round-about way you led up to the subject of the prophecy and Dumbledore's reluctance to divulge it in full. You show his sneakiness in manipulating the various "players" in this part of the story and how, when push came to shove, Harry had a right to learn it in full so that he could make the decision to try to defeat Voldemort on his own. I think Harry made the first real adult decision of his life. I hope that Harry will eventually be given the all-clear to tell his friends about the prophecy because they can offer the support he needs from people his own age. Well done.
Author's Response: Such kind words! I've gotta say that your comments definitely buoy me as a writer. I was worried about this chapter for a while, but I like how it turned out. Dumbledore still has some of the manipulative tendencies he displayed in canon, but I like to think that he's actively working to improve himself. It was a big deal for Harry to choose to fight against Voldemort, and it'll have ripple effects throughout the rest of the story.
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.10.24 - 11:04PM
Title: Chapter 55
    
Harry sure has a lot of fortitude if he's able to keep his temper and not fall asleep during Defense classes. Umbridge is the very worst sort of "teacher" and what she's doing is really hurting the students of Hogwarts.
I really liked how Harry tried to connect with Neville over their shared losses at the beginning of the chapter. While Neville may not be ready to have a conversation about what the two of them have lost, at least he knows that Harry is there if he ever wants to talk about what his family has lost.
The teacher's heart in me is grinning from ear to ear because Harry is now determined to pay attention in his classes and finding ways to incorporate what he learns in how he can defend himself during a duel. I had to smile when it was mentioned that Hermione was becoming frustrated that Harry didn't need her as much these days as he has in the past. Well done, great chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks for such a kind and encouraging comment! I think Harry's strong support system is helping him cope with Umbridge. Harry and Neville have so much in common that it's a wonder that they didn't connect more in canon. While I'm not looking to create bookworm Harry, I do like that he cares a bit more about the parts of his education that really matter to him and is willing to put in the work to excel.
Reviewer: Arnel Signed
Date: 2023.10.23 - 07:23PM
Title: Chapter 54
    
Thank goodness for small favors! By narrowing what Harry is supposed to try to block Snape from, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall have helped Harry advance with his Occlumency. That he successfully blocked Snape from most of the third memory, says that Harry is making more progress than he has in the past. I think it's a good thing.
Oh, very sinister with the headline from the Prophet Harry found in the common room. Nice to know that you're still following canon somewhat and might even be heading toward a visit to the Ministry of Magic in a few more chapters.
Author's Response: I wanted to show the difference that competent and reasonable teaching would make in Occlumency and this felt like a way to build toward that. I am still following some of the major beats from canon, so there might still be a foray into the Ministry at some point... Thanks for the comment!
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