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Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2006.10.23 - 05:10AM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball
Admittedly, I am late coming to this story. I find the plot and sub plots very interesting, and pretty well done. I really have enjoyed the story so far and plan to continue reading until I get caught up.
Having said that, you might want to look into getting a beta reader if you have not done so already. If you don't want a beta, try reading the chapters aloud to yourself, with a British accent. I won't go into the verb tenses, since that seems to have already been brought up, even though, not fixed. Some of the word choices are off as well. It's Leglimancy, not Legitamacy. You put that not questioning a love spell was an Interrogated part of the spell itself, instead of integral.
You've got a great base to work with here, but you may want to get a bit of help with the polishing. Some of it can get quite distracting.
Reviewer: Torak Signed Date: 2006.10.20 - 05:59PM Title: Chap 63 Freaky Storm
This is probably one of the weaker chapters you've written of late; there's no coherent narrative, and you need to practice writing action scenes.
On the plus side, your grammar is much improved; the only grammatical error that really stood out this time was "Tonk's". It's also worth noting that you don't actually need to put "of age" in quotes.
Your grammar and spelling are much better than they used to be - now it's time to concentrate on the storytelling.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to reivew... whether you like it or not it is appreciated. Fixed the Tonks thing.... in MY books \"of age\" is in quotes...feel wrong if I don\'t follow suit.
Reviewer: witowsmp Signed Date: 2006.10.19 - 09:56PM Title: Chap 63 Freaky Storm
Glad Harry punched Vernon and Molly fought Petunia.
Of course, what I'd have done if I was Harry and found out Death Eaters were attacking the Dursleys is send a thank you note to Voldemort.
Author's Response: I think that Harry may just agree with you.... =)
Thankie for taking the time to review.
Reviewer: Tron Signed Date: 2006.10.11 - 12:13PM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
Welcome back! It is great to see a new chapter for this story!
Great chapter as usual. I really like the idea that Neville shares his birthday with Harry for the one hour at midnight. That is sweet.
The insight Neville displayed is truly amazing. I never thought of Ron as being critical until I read this chapter. You are right, he is critical. Also, you are right about Hermione. She must be horribly insecure to need to prove herself like she does. Well done!
Neville and Susan? Good decision.
Now, I keep waiting for something to happen to Ginny. The stress she is under has to be huge. Knowing that something is going to happen, but not knowing when, but knowing it will have to be soon. I mean, how long does Voldemort think he can put it off?
I like the way Mr. Weasley put Hermione's father at ease - talking about the boils curse. If word of that gets back to Voldemort, he may think he has more time.
I know real life has a way of knocking things off-course, but please continue this story. I don't care if you can't update but two or three times a year, just please continue! So, please update when you can!
Author's Response: Thank you! I am so happy to hear from you again. I love how your thoughts are exactly what I have tried to convey. =)
Reviewer: magicalme Anonymous Date: 2006.10.05 - 06:37PM Title: Chap 1-Alone
Cool Story! Awesome so far and I have only read the first chapter.
Author's Response: Thankie! I hope you enjoy the rest. Thank you so much for taking the time to review. =)
Reviewer: Xfactor Anonymous Date: 2006.10.05 - 12:14PM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
Excellent job! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Love hearing from you... Thank you for taking the time to review.
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream Signed Date: 2006.10.05 - 09:32AM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
Excellent, of course. Interesting & amusing reactions on Mr. Granger's part, there. :-}
Author's Response: Mr. Granger has had a rough summer. = 0
Reviewer: Chreechree Signed Date: 2006.10.04 - 04:16AM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
I'm sorry to hear that life had not been kind lately. I hope you're getting back on your feet.
I got a kick out of Neville's examined views on the various couples and had to laugh at Harry being perplexed by the whole thing. Even better was Arthur and Mr. Granger and the boils. Poor Mr. Granger. He's a rock singer too. Ha!
Author's Response: I\'ve missed you. Neville is a good people watcher. Ahhhh Mr. Granger....
Thank you for taking the time to review... always love to hear from you.
Reviewer: Ima Quidditch Fan Signed Date: 2006.10.03 - 11:31PM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
No Review
Reviewer: witowsmp Signed Date: 2006.10.03 - 11:28PM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
Good chapter! If anyone at the ministry believes Draco's story, they should be sent to Azkaban with him!
I'm glad the party wasn't interupted, but I'd guess that there will be some kind of attack on Harry's birthday. Maybe it'll be the one they've been waiting for.
Author's Response: Next chapter will be up soon. Thank you soooo much for the review!
Reviewer: FawkesFan Signed Date: 2006.10.03 - 11:15PM Title: Chap 62 -Neville's Party
Welcome back! Sorry to hear about the reason for the delay.
I was thrilled to see your fic updated! It's still one of my favorite stories. Glad to see it's active again!
Author's Response: I\'m happy to hear from YOU again. Won\'t be too long before the next chapter. =)
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 07:40PM Title: Chap 56- Cheating
And, we still haven't gotten Moldie off the dime.
Author's Response: Time will tell =)
Reviewer: starboy454 Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 05:05PM Title: Chap 61 - Pajama Party
I hope you are going to have more chapters soon
Author's Response: So sorry for the delay. Things will move along more quickly now. Thank you for your interest =)
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 02:05PM Title: Chap 54- Special Dinner
God, I wish Snape would just die already. He and Malfoy make my teeth hurt
It doesn't matter if it is canon or fanfic, those two are just very hard to take. Lucy and voldie I can put up with, but Snape and Draco are just so uninterestingly disgusting.
Again, how much longer is this "curse" going to take? There has been no action in 20 chapters or so and we are still just waiting for the shoe to fall.
Author's Response: Things just take time. You will have your wish in the near future.
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 07:24AM Title: Chap 48 - Changes
Oh yeah, Ginny walking around the house and then going to bed is so natural. Are you going to have Tom capture her and be destroyed, or have you spent the last 10+ chapters on this nonsense for nothing except to torture Harry?
Author's Response: Glad you are enjoying the story.
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.29 - 04:13AM Title: Chap 43 - End of a Long Day
Please...learn when to use doesn't and when to use don't. Still, story is very good, but how long will you torture Harry and Ginny? Has anyone ever wondered how all these old spells were first created? Were sorcerers in the past that much smarter and stronger? Shouldn't spells be getting more complicated and powerful over time? I just never understand the logic of secret spells and objects from the past that are ever so powerful.
Author's Response: Teenageres doesn\'t always speak in perfect grammer. Harry & Ginny are forever tortured. - Kids at school only learn the basics. There were centruies of time when spells were created. Some would not have been widely publushed if they were evil.
Fred & George are inventing new things all the time.. as in the Muggle world... not everything was invented in the last 20 years.
Glad you still continuing the story.
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.28 - 04:20AM Title: Chap 20 - Exhausted
Story is great, but you and Jenny need some grammar tips.
Now, don't get snippy. As I say, story is great.
Author's Response: Ginny is a teenager so she slangs a bit... as do all teenagers. Adults do too. Most will clean up their act when talking to someone like Dumbledore,out of respect.
Glad you like the story.
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.28 - 03:32AM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball
Two nits:
1) you need to learn the various form of do and do not.
I mean "Then Fred must have did the other one,” is just so wrong.Fred must have DONE the other one.I know it is hard (at least it is for me) to write dialogue that sounds good, but you have to get the tenses right otherwise your characters sound ignorant.
2) Harry just can't be this dumb.And where is the important stuff about learning how to defeat old red eyes?
Author's Response: Grammer spoke of in another responce. As for Harry being dumb.... I believe heis far more intelligent now than he\'s ever been. You must remember how young he is..... and old red eyes will be dealt with when the time comes.
Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.27 - 10:35PM Title: Chap 6 Muggle London
Oh God, the excitement of shopping. Now, we need at least a chapter on Harry working out and bcoming buff. Oh, it is too die for.
Enjoying story...had to go back and start over.
Author's Response: Harry buffs up during Quidditch practice
