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Reviewer: Torak Signed Date: 2005.11.02 - 09:18PM Title: Chap 17 - Tonks' Visit
Hmmm.... assuming this was written pre-HBP, congratulations on getting the prediction right
Again, believable reactions and emotions, with pretty bad English. Another thing you might want to look out for is when you write what should be one sentence as two:
He ran down the hill. Carrying a bucket.
...for instance, should be:
He ran down the hill, carrying a bucket.
That's an error you make a lot, and your writing really would benefit a lot from that improvement alone.
Author's Response: Hopefully many of these boo boos have been fixed. I'm working on it. Thanks =)
Reviewer: Moony32 Anonymous Date: 2005.06.11 - 07:40PM Title: Chap 17 - Tonks' Visit
Lupin and Tonks? Genius!
Author's Response: It had to be... no question =)
Reviewer: childers Anonymous Date: 2005.05.24 - 12:52AM Title: Chap 17 - Tonks' Visit
I was e-mailed this story - the link happened to bring me to the 18th chapter. I was sickened by it less than a quater way through. This has the appearance of being written by a kid in late elementary school. First of all, these people are British they do not speak southern U.S. and second this writer needs a new beta reader. The grammer stinks. This paper would recieve a failing grade in said elemenary school. A more fitting title "Wasted Time"
Author's Response: I hope you don't waste any more of your time. That is just sad =(
Reviewer: Song Anonymous Date: 2005.05.22 - 10:07PM Title: Chap 17 - Tonks' Visit
Great job!! Update soon please!!!
Author's Response: Thanks =)
Reviewer: oceanblue Anonymous Date: 2005.05.21 - 02:25PM Title: Chap 17 - Tonks' Visit
update soon!!!!!!! woohoo i lovet this story!!!
Author's Response: I'm happy you like it.
