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SIYE Time:12:42 on 28th March 2024
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Reviewer: anonymouspotterfan Signed Date: 2009.07.31 - 09:30PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

this whole concept of harry actually thinking there is a love charm and or a forgetting charm isn't very plausible to me, but i like the story regardless



Reviewer: Katastrophe Signed Date: 2006.10.23 - 05:10AM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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Admittedly, I am late coming to this story. I find the plot and sub plots very interesting, and pretty well done. I really have enjoyed the story so far and plan to continue reading until I get caught up.

Having said that, you might want to look into getting a beta reader if you have not done so already. If you don't want a beta, try reading the chapters aloud to yourself, with a British accent. I won't go into the verb tenses, since that seems to have already been brought up, even though, not fixed. Some of the word choices are off as well. It's Leglimancy, not Legitamacy. You put that not questioning a love spell was an Interrogated part of the spell itself, instead of integral.

You've got a great base to work with here, but you may want to get a bit of help with the polishing. Some of it can get quite distracting.



Reviewer: noylj Signed Date: 2006.08.28 - 03:32AM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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Two nits:
1) you need to learn the various form of do and do not.
I mean "Then Fred must have did the other one,” is just so wrong.Fred must have DONE the other one.I know it is hard (at least it is for me) to write dialogue that sounds good, but you have to get the tenses right otherwise your characters sound ignorant.
2) Harry just can't be this dumb.And where is the important stuff about learning how to defeat old red eyes?

Author's Response: Grammer spoke of in another responce. As for Harry being dumb.... I believe heis far more intelligent now than he's ever been. You must remember how young he is..... and old red eyes will be dealt with when the time comes.



Reviewer: lorena Anonymous Date: 2006.01.13 - 09:28PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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I dont like that harry thinks he fancy ginny because of a "love charm" seems like he think that ginny isnt good enough how long it would take to harry realizes ginny because of her????? I love the story is really cool

Author's Response: I rhink rhe next chapter will give you a little piece of mind =) ****** Thank you for the review!



Reviewer: jeanne Anonymous Date: 2005.12.08 - 11:35AM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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I take it all back,he really is dense .A lve spell??When will he wake up? I hope this doesn,t go through too many more chapters,and I do have a long way to go.

Author's Response: We'll see! =) -- - Thanks for the review!



Reviewer: Torak Signed Date: 2005.11.02 - 09:31PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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Ouch! The tenses have got you again! "He had did it on his first try" - no! Bad! "He had done it" is correct. Other than that, and the usual errors, there's nothing major to criticise in this chapter. But oh, the frustration! Harry and Ginny are both so thick, they're missing out on vast tracts of fluff! Hrm, don't mind me. I just get a bit soppy sometimes. Oh, and just a quick note to the previous reviewer... why shouldn't Harry have sex on his mind? He's male, he's a teenager... even in the books there are definite references to him having decidedly mucky dreams and things.

Author's Response: I agree! I found several incorrect uses of several words in the "tense" area. Hopefully most of those were found. - - - Now about Harry and Ginny being thick - - - Neither are THICK. Harry has several things standing in his way and poor Ginny, Well, Harry has her confused. Can't blame her for that. =)



Reviewer: Jellybean Anonymous Date: 2005.07.20 - 04:02PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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omg it is SO unrealistic harry does not have sex on his mind like u make out him 2 have n who ever made ron a singer???

Author's Response: Hopefully you have stopped reading it. Cause Ron is gonna sing more and Harry is gonna have lots of things on his mind in the very near future.



Reviewer: Jade_amethyst Signed Date: 2005.05.31 - 08:08PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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lol awesome fic...update asap

Author's Response: Thank you very much. More coming soon.



Reviewer: Song Anonymous Date: 2005.05.27 - 04:28PM Title: Chap 18 - Harvest Ball

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Great job!!! Update soon!! :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. More coming soon. =)




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