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Reviewer: Ghetto DRaco Malfoy Anonymous Date: 2005.11.20 - 07:43PM Title: Chap 28 - Valentines Ball
I now officially hate you. It's nothing personal, you just happened to put Harry and Ginny in an angsty position. So I just want you to know that I officially HATE YOU!!!
Author's Response: I think you better stop reading. Oh my! Things are going to get worse. eek! - - - Thank you for the review, even though you officially hate me. HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA
Reviewer: Torak Signed Date: 2005.11.02 - 11:03PM Title: Chap 28 - Valentines Ball
Still a fair few Americanisms creeping in, most notably "diapers"; on this side of the pond we use "nappies".
Other than that, the usual still applies. Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention a few chapters ago: Hagrid's appearance was brief, but was well written and definitely in character. Good work.
Author's Response: I tried it with nappies.. Just sounded "wrong" in my American mind. Probably because I read the American Editions... sorry it has to be the American Edition. - - - Love Hagrid, but so far he hasn't played a very big part.
Reviewer: David Wolfskill Anonymous Date: 2005.06.16 - 12:17PM Title: Chap 28 - Valentines Ball
Interesting; still good. Notes:
"Was his kisses that good" should probably read
"Were his kisses that good."
"She hadn't even wrote Tonks" should read "She
hadn't even written Tonks."
"whole day in her dorm. Checking everything"
should probably read "whole day in her dorm,
checking everything."
"It lie over the gown" should read differently;
possibly "It lay over the gown" (but that sounds
weird with the rest of the sentence).
Extraneous comma: "asking her a few
meaningless questions, that she answered politely."
I'm having a bit of trouble parsing "She was lovely dressed and
groomed."
"more format shot" should probably read "more
f
Author's Response: Thank you soooo much! I have fixed most of problems that you pointed out. It was a long & difficult chapter. I had cut over 2,000 words & it's still a bit too long.
