Promise Me Tonight by Marauder Evans



Summary: Ginny's tired of being pushed away by Harry. She writes him a letter in hope to get the one man she loved back...
Rating: R starstarstarstarstar
Categories: Alternate Universe
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2007.02.28
Updated: 2007.03.01


Promise Me Tonight by Marauder Evans
Chapter 1: Promise Me Tonight
Author's Notes:

“Who do you love, Harry? Who will help you get through the eternal night, should it fall onto us all?” a wise man asked, looking intently at the boy before him.

Harry swallowed hard, avoiding the old man’s serene face. “Why would I love?” Harry said softly. “Love is the thing that tears us apart. The thing that hurts us so much we all pray for its death. The one thing we all wish we had, until we finally understand what it is. It ruins your life.”

“What if you have no choice?”

Harry turned, gazing back with a cold stare. “I do, and I will conquer it…”

---

Ginny stared out the window of her bedroom, settling her head against the window panes. She gave a breathless sigh. She let a tear roll down her cheek. Memories invaded her mind. Memories she still had left…

“Why can you never keep our promises, Harry?” Ginny stared at Harry with unshed tears in her eyes.

“I ended those promises a long time ago, Ginny. When you’ve lost everything, come back to me…” Harry told her in cold spite.

She felt her lower lip tremble. “So, I don’t mean anything to you anymore, now do I? Don’t you think I know what you’re going through? Just because I’m here does not mean to say that I have no feelings, thinking everything’s moving smoothly on the other side of the world, wherever you are!”

Harry remained with his back towards her, letting out a cold laugh. “What would you know about the pain I suffer? The hurt I bestow...The loss I observe! And the love I will not gather? You don’t know anything!”

Ginny shook her head mentally. “Then make me understand! Why won’t you let me?”

For the first time, Harry turned around, meeting his cool green eyes, shining with a gleam of esteem, with her soft brown eyes.

“Because, I promised myself I won’t fall in love…”


Could she not suffer pain as much as he did? Could she not bestow the hurt that lay inside her? Could she not watch all the loss across the years because of the war? But how could she not gather the love that laid tamed deep inside her on behalf of him?

Ginny slowly walked from the window cell towards her desk, grabbing a piece of parchment, ink, and a quill. She was going to prove she knew what pain was, how hurt was given, how she watched those people die and how much she loved him.

Harry,

You think you’re the only one with those feelings, don’t you? I’ll show you what those feelings are…

Pain

You might think of pain as a simple slap across the face, the stinging sensation on your cheek or when you fell and watched the blood roll down your knee. Well it’s not the pain this war brings us. Do you know what pain this war brought us? Have you ever felt the feeling of someone you loved being ripped away from you? Sure, you may have lost a close family member, but I am talking about someone you lost, lost during the battle. Don’t you think that it hurts to be away from someone you love? That it hurts for that someone you love to deny his love for you? That it hurts every single day not to hear those three words from your love, but he doesn’t want to say it because he promised himself not to? I have been through pain in the most inhuman ways! You might say, ‘What’s worse than the Cruciatus Curse?’ I’ll give you one…the fact that your love won’t love you because he thinks it will kill him. No, he hasn’t told me that, but I know. I can see it in his eyes, every time he shares a moment with me, every time I tell him ‘I love you’, every time we make love, every goddamn time he refuses to be with me! Your heart feels sore! The pain of never been loved…You know…you might think it goes away eventually, but it’ll come back and bite you hard. How long does pain actually take? Who knows? I do...it takes forever, right HP? But the main thing bugs me…Why does it have to hurt so much?

Hurt

What is there to say about hurt? Oh yeah, it’s there when pain is caused…No, it doesn’t come so easily. You don’t feel pain then hurt…you might think they are the same. Well they are not. I basically feel hurt before pain. The pain stings you hard after you think you’re recovering from it. How would you feel if you tried desperately to make someone love you? Make someone understand you or vise versa? What is actually Hurt? Who knows? You must think it’s the same as pain, well it’s not. Trust me…you’ll know when you’re in pain or being hurt. You tend to close yourself down, build a wall around you so no one can pass through it. When you’re hurt, you feel dishonored…Well, that’s how I feel. That’s how I’ve felt lately…I feel dishonored, disrespected, like I have nothing to live for…And that hurts. How desperately I want to feel your arms around me and tell me it’s OK. Why is it so easy for you to make me feel this way? And yet so hard to for you to accept that I’m going through the same things you are…? Maybe you lost too much to feel anything…

Loss

You might think you’re the only person in this godforsaken world who has lost someone…well sorry to break it to you, you’re not. Don’t you think that I’ve been through enough loss to know what you’re going through? Just because you’ve lost your parents, your godfather and your mentor and have given up, does not mean to say that you should give up on me! I have been through many losses! I have walked through those stacks of bodies at St. Mungo’s! I saw the faces of my family when we lost Percy! When we lost Charlie! When we lost Dumbledore, Hagrid, my father, Moody, and George! You don’t have a right to come and tell me about too many losses that you have seen! I have seen my fair share of loved ones lost! And it HURTS! IT CAUSES PAIN!M You might have lost all of those people…but you better watch out before you lose me. You can lose me but I will never lose you. I love you far too much for that…Do you love me?

Love

Well, well, well. We finally reach the highlight of this whole rant. Love, ah yes, love…A wise man once said that there was nothing that could conquer love. Why do you think you can by not loving me? WHAT exactly do you think you’re going to get out of it? Happiness? Relief? What? Please tell me! I’m dying to know the real reason my heart keeps breaking into pieces! The real reason I lie to myself at night when I sleep and think about the warmth of your love you could possibly give to me! You will never learn to love if you don’t take a simple risk! What’s so hard about that?! I have never asked you for anything in my life! I have always stood by your side since my fifth year and you think you can push me away like that? Push me! Push me away! I don’t give a damn anymore! Clearly neither do you…There’s no more to give, is there? Have you given up on me already? Why not be a man and gather that love which you try to hide from me and show me before I stop hoping. Hoping that you’ll tell me how much you love me. Tell me how much you’re sorry for the pain you put me through! For the hurt you gave me! For the loss you’ve made me see! And for the love you dare to betray me with!

Be a man, Harry, and stop running. Live up to your promises. I kept mine. Now it’s time for you to keep yours. I will only ask this one thing of you. I’ll let my barrier down for you. I’ll give my heart to you…just don’t give it back. If you don’t want it, then I will let my heart shatter. I’ll show you what pain is…You’ve got two hours.

Good luck,

Ginny


Harry furiously punched the tree bark. Why? Why did she do this to him? He didn’t need this kind of guilt right now! He had more important things to bother with. Wait, wasn’t she important enough?

He cast a glance at the tent where Ron and Hermione slept. He turned into the shadows, Apparating in the dark.

Fast footsteps caused Ginny’s heart to thrive with tension. She fumbled slightly with her hands. Would he really come? Ginny released all her thoughts when she felt a husky voice call out to her.

She turned and found the one man that could make her heart ache. She offered him a small smile, which was returned with a look, possibly of anger.

She sighed. “Harry…You came.”

He held his looks, shifting his weight onto his leg. “I came…”

Ginny looked at him seriously. “Are you here to break my heart or keep your promise?”

Harry closed his eyes. His breathing was shallow and Ginny couldn’t help but suck in a breath when Harry made his way towards her.

“How could you do that to me, Gin? I already have enough burdens on my shoulders and I don’t need another one!” Harry stated, ignoring Ginny’s question.

Ginny’s eyes flashed with anger. “That’s what you think I am? What our love is? A burden? You might as well have never come here if that’s what you think!”

Harry sighed tiredly, shaking his head. “Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep fighting?”

Ginny walked up to him, tip-toeing slightly so she could be almost at the same level as him.

“If you don’t know why I keep fighting, then you have given me your answer.” Ginny whispered softly.

Harry smiled before cupping her face in his large hands, tilting it up to face him. He planted a kiss on her lips, causing Ginny to tremble with eagerness.

“There’s my answer,” he whispered.

Ginny looked into his eyes and saw;

The man she almost lost.

The man she loved.

And the man she gave her life to.

“You already know mine…” she whispered, smiling.

“I kept my promise…”

“You kept your promise…”

“And I do love you.”

“I know. I just needed to know for sure.”

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