If You Love Someone... by deenas
Summary: Her mother always told her "If you love someone, set him free..." Ginny's been waiting a long time...
Rating: PG
Categories: Post-HBP, Post-Hogwarts
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2007.03.27
Updated: 2007.03.27
If You Love Someone... by deenas
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Author's Notes: I miss her.
I miss her like a person misses a limb that's been amputated. You still have the feelings that used to be there even though that part of you is gone. Phantom…something.
While I know she's still alive, still safe, I feel as if my heart's been trampled on by a herd of hippogriffs and then fed to them like dead ferrets.
I feel empty without her. But I can't let that distract me. Not when I have work to do.
And when I'm done, I'll go back and find my heart again.
***
I miss him.
He's a right selfish prat, but I love him.
Did I just say that aloud?
Fine. I love him. I think I've always loved him, even before I really knew him, the real person, not the myth or the legend.
But he left me.
And I let him.
Mum always told me, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be."
I'm waiting.
***
I cast the same spell that made me a legend when I was a baby, making me a bigger legend, eighteen years later. I'm famous for surviving and I'm famous for killing.
I don't want to be famous. I don't want to be recognized. I don't want to be a celebrity.
I want to be left alone. I want to crawl into a hole and let the world go on without me. I want to be anonymous.
I have to leave. I can't stay here and watch the world pretend as if nothing happened, that no one has died.
I can't forget but I don't want to remember.
***
I have a feeling he's going to bolt.
He hates all the attention and hates that others are overlooked.
He's a noble git, but he's my noble git.
I've been waiting, just like he told me to. It's killed me a bit every day to be apart from him. But it's over now.
I just have to stop him from running. Stop him from leaving me forever.
I have to make him remember that he's loved, that I love him. He just needs to come back to me.
I've been waiting a long time.
***
I stand outside the crooked little house, snow falling on my hair and onto my glasses. I'm scared that she won't love me anymore.
I can feel fear bubbling inside my gut and it's all I can do to stop myself from turning around and running away. If she's given up on me, there's nothing left here, or anywhere, for me. My eyes burn with unshed tears as my feet grow cold and numb.
Numb. Now there's the perfect word to describe what I feel. I'm numb to the core, unsure that there is anything left inside me worth saving anymore.
I don't know how long I've been standing out here, trying to decide whether to go in or not. Someone's going to come outside soon, I just know it. I have to act soon, before someone else decides for me.
***
He's outside, alone, standing in the snow.
I'm inside, warm, waiting for him.
My stomach is tied in knots and I can feel the stares of my family, silently urging me to go out to him, to rescue him the way he rescued me.
I can see the look of fear on his face, can see the way his brow is furrowed in the same way that he pondered a complicated spell at Hogwarts. His hair is moving wildly in the breeze, bringing back memories of the way he looked on a broom playing Quidditch.
That last memory seals it. I love his hair and the way he looks when he flies. I want that memory to turn into a reality once more.
I stand up and shrug into my coat and step into the waiting Wellingtons. Standing in front of the door, I steel myself against the cold and the reunion that's been too long in the making.
***
One step. Then another.
I make my way to the door slowly, eyes lowered to the ground as I try to focus on stilling the Cornish pixies that are fluttering in my stomach.
I hope I'm not too late.
I stop in front of the door, take a deep breath and close my eyes, hoping that all the tears have gone away. I put my hand on the doorknob, knowing that they're all waiting for me so it's useless to knock.
I open the door and all the air is sucked out of my lungs in an audible whoosh.
There she is.
***
I clear my throat, nonverbally telling my family to leave me alone. For once, no one says anything and I watch them either go up the stairs or retreat into the kitchen.
I reach for the doorknob to open it, but someone has beat me to it.
"Hi," I whimper.
"Hey," he mutters back.
We stare at each other and I can't help myself for looking him up and down, trying to convince myself that he's real and not a figment of my imagination.
He looks tired, more tired than I've ever seen him. His green eyes have lost their sparkle and they are lost behind his glasses. His cheekbones are more prominent than before, partly because he's lost a lot of weight and partly because he has a nasty scar running from his left ear across to his nose. He needs a good meal, I think to myself, groaning inwardly at how much I sound like my mother. Despite everything he's been through, he's still the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
I feel my heart speed up and my breathing quicken. He's gone and done it.
He's made me love him again.
***
Oh God.
Everything I've ever wanted is standing right in front of me, smiling at me with her eyes looking me up and down.
She looks good. Her hair is shorter and makes her cheeks look fuller than before. Her brown eyes are the colour of hot chocolate and I feel warmer just looking at her.
"I…I'm back," I say, my voice unnaturally high. I haven't sounded like this since I was thirteen.
"So I see." Her voice is like silk, flowing over me, and my knees go weak.
I want to take her in my arms and stroke her skin.
"Do…are you, er, are you okay?"
"I am. I'm safe, just like you wanted."
I don't like the tone of her voice. Why is she being so cold? Doesn't she realize how difficult it was for me to leave her?
I'm back.
I came back for her.
***
I watch the snow fall onto his hair, a stark contrast against the field of black. If we stay out here much longer, Mum'll have our hides, screaming about colds and pneumonia. I don't care.
I need to have him to myself, if only for a few minutes. I step over the threshold and shut the door behind me. I stand directly in front of him, close enough to feel the heat radiate from his body.
Before I can say anything, Harry puts his arms around me and holds me close. I can hear his heart beating while he holds my head to his chest, his fingers threading through my hair, taking all the pain away with every stroke of his hands. Peace and contentment fill my body as I relax while my mind takes me back to our time together at Hogwarts.
I want it to be like that again. No stress, no worries, no expectations, nothing but hope and promise ahead of us.
I've waited long enough.
***
She feels so good in my arms, like she never left them. She relaxes against me and I look down at her and she meets my gaze. I smile at her, the first real smile I've had in some time. I feel like I'm home again.
Without a word, I lean in and softly place my lips on hers, cautious at first. She starts to kiss me back and puts her hands on the back of my head. Her tongue darts into my mouth and I eagerly meet hers with mine.
Emotions overtake me and I feel a sob coming on. I can't stop it and I pull away, closing my eyes so I can't see the look on her face. My control slips and I sink to the snow covered ground, covering my face with my hands.
I feel rather than see her lower herself next to me. Her small, cold hands pull mine away from my face and she takes my chin, turning it up to meet her eyes.
"It's okay, Harry. You're here and that's all that matters." The look of love in her eyes is almost overwhelming.
"I…I'm sorry…I'm sorry I stayed away." I take her face in my hands and pepper her face with tiny kisses as I try to convince the both of us that I'm really here.
***
We move back inside The Burrow and as soon as we do, my family converges, swarming the poor boy. Through an endless amount of hugs, he never lets go of my hand as if I am a tether in a storm.
All through dinner, he holds my hand, eating uncomfortably with his left, allowing my mother to treat him like a child and place food on his plate. I watch her as she dotes on him and I smile at her, thanking her silently for not trying to tear him away from me.
Ron and Charlie try to engage him in chess after dinner, but he still holds my hand and turns them down, pulling me onto the sofa next to him, almost on his lap. He finally lets go of my hand only to put his arm around me and hold me against him. I'm amazed at how well I fit next to him like this. It's like we were made for each other.
***
"I need to talk to you," I tell her, standing up and taking her hand to help her. I lead her up to her room and I know that her mother is watching us but I don't care. I need to be alone with her, and this is the only way.
Once inside, she turns to me and smiles anxiously at me.
"What is it, Harry?" Her hand goes to the scar on my cheek and I try to pull away from the touch. I don't want her to feel sorry for me. She's stubborn, I'll give her that and she finally ends up tracing the line that mars my face.
"I need to know, Ginny…"
"Yes, I do."
She steps closer to me, her feet touching mine and her body up against me. I'm starting to feel dizzy as lecherous thoughts begin to fill my head.
"I haven't even asked you a question," I say.
"Yes, Harry, I missed you. Yes, Harry, I wish you didn't leave me. Yes, Harry, I've been waiting for you to come back. And yes, Harry…" She paused to put her arms around my neck. "I love you."
My eyes widen as she leans in and places her lips on mine, warm and supple, against my chapped, rough lips. Everything that I've wanted to say to her suddenly erases from my mind as I give in to the feelings that have come flooding back after being buried for so long.
I have to touch her, caress her, own her. I need to know that I'm alive and not in some silly and cruel dream.
I've stayed away too long.
***
I let him steer me over to my bed as he continues to kiss me, as my mind swims with endless scenarios as to where this could lead. I don't care that we're in my room, in my parents' house or that everyone is downstairs.
His hands are on me, scorching my skin with his touch, and I allow him access to places he's never gone before. We part as we remove our shirts, exposing flesh to each other that we've never seen before.
He's gentle as he touches me, adding fuel to the fire that we've built inside the both of us. I close my eyes and feel what only can be described as heaven. I'm torn between wanting to complete what we've started and to stop the madness.
"Harry…"
"Ginny…"
We stare at each other as we pant with pent-up sexual energy, hands constantly moving over hot, skin.
I move my hands to his impossibly messy hair and gently caress his scalp while I smile.
"We can wait. We've waited this long."
***
I let out a heavy sigh, relieved that she's the one who said it.
"And just so you know, I'm never leaving you again."
"No you won't," she whispers, snuggling into my chest. "I won't let you."
This is where I want to spend the rest of my days, in her arms, wrapped up in her love.
This is meant to be…
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