Summary: Expressing your love for someone is not necessarily saying 'I love you', but in certain situations, it is what best explains your actions.
Rating: PG
Categories: Post-DH/PM, The I Love You Challenge (2020-2)
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2020.08.27
Updated: 2020.08.28
I Love You by sweeet_babe
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Author's Notes: He felt guilty when everyone in The Burrow seemed to look for any matter to keep his mind occupied in order to ignore the empty chair.
He also felt guilty when Mrs Weasley, the one who always made him feel family and loved, appeared with red and swollen eyes, getting lost in the middle of the pie recipe and breaking some dishes.
And he wouldn't even speak in George's desolate gaze, in the emptiness that gave him to see that man always cheerful and playful, silent and walking half aimlessly around the house.
That's why he was far from everyone, sitting as far away as possible from the Burrow in the garden, his feet in the lake and the sun burning his skin, wondering what excuse he would give to get out of there.
Other than the one who had caused everything, in the end, Fred wouldn't have died if he hadn't met Ron and avoided sticking the Weasley family, the one who always considered him a part, of this whole mess.
Molly hadn't let him go - who knows where - for at least a week, and he wouldn't even follow the request, but he felt guilty when he saw the pain snaking the eyes of that lovely woman who for some reason still loved him and let him into her house. She said she wouldn't realize if she saw him disappear again, and it hurt him in ways unimaginable.
Harry didn't want to hurt her, ever, enough was enough for the pain he had caused by killing one of her children, making her boggart true. It wouldn't hurt again. That's why he stayed.
Sitting in the same place as always, in silence, Harry pondered what he would do next; the war was over, really, but... What would become of him? He lived 17 years in one torture after another, first the Dursleys, then Voldemort. What was there for someone like him?
''Harry?'' That voice almost made him jump into the lake in fright. One more of the things I was running away from. Great Gryffindor! Godric should be proud
''Hi, Ginny... did something happen?'' Of course, you idiot! Her brother was dead because of you!
''Just running away from inside'' She seemed to ponder whether to sit or not, opting yes. Ginny, the one he thought of before he died, and who was still one of the most beautiful and amazing people he had ever met, was by his side, her feet dipped in the icy water and a half-stiff face. ''Mom said you wanted to leave.''
''I don't want to cause trouble.''
''I don't think it's true,'' He shrugged, looking at the trees that housed a litter of birds, who sang excitedly.
''I shouldn't be here... but your mother.. she convinced me to stay a while." Ginny still didn't look at him, and it was even better, he didn't want to know that he had hurt her too (even more)
''Where are you going?''
''I don't know,'' she finally turned to him, the most terrifying and beautiful brown eyes Harry had ever seen. If it was in another life, if he were another Harry, he'd give it his all to spend another day with her.
But he was this Harry, and there wasn't much to give.
''I've heard it once, and things got troubled.'' His heart hurt his chest, the guilt drowning him.
''That's why I'd better go.' I've done enough in your family, you didn't deserve any of this,'' he got up, ready to go to Molly and say he would leave, even if he promised to wait until Friday.
''Don't you think all this would have happened to or without you?'' Ginny also stood up, but looking much more angry than he ever saw ''When will you understand that Fred's fault has died, it's Voldemort's and not yours!?''
''You were in his sights because you were with me!'' Was it so hard for her to accept that Harry wasn't such a hero?
''And we would be again! You know that! My parents were in the Order before you showed up, We've been in the crosshairs for a long time, Harry!'' She turned around, walked around a little, and he even thought Ginny would leave him behind if he didn't know her. ''I'd face the Carrows again if I had to. None of this was in vain, Fred didn't die for nothing!''
''I know not, and that's why I'm leaving. It's best for everyone.''
''All who? You have no idea what it was like not knowing where you've been stuck in the last few months, whether you were alive or not.'' Harry was one step away from exploding into guilt, his chest burning with anxiety.
''And I never wanted you, or anyone else, to go through this Ginny.'"
''So why are you doing it again?!'' The redhead blew up.
''Because I love you! And because it's horrible to think that the person I love was tortured and lost his brother and friends because of me! Because you deserve someone who didn't make you scared, or who makes you suffer. Someone who has something to offer you! What could I offer you besides me?''
''That's all I want, Harry... If you weren't here, I'd still be locked in the room in anger. Knowing that I can find you alive helps me deal with the whole situation. I love you, Harry, and I can't stand to lose you anymore.''
When the silence spread between them, Harry realized what he had said, what she had said. His mind went into combustion, had he even said he loved her? Did she say she loved him too?!
''Ginny...''
''..How do you say you love me if you want to leave me again? Just now that I need you the most? Harry understand, you're not to blame for people's deaths, you didn't do it, you're not a burden. You also deserve to live now'' He wasn't able to say anything, just keep looking at that beautiful face that made his heart hurt. ''And if you think you don't deserve me. I'm sorry, but it's going to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Those weeks we spent together? All the moments you were there? They all made me go on. I always knew you'd come back, and when I saw you and thought you were dead...''
''... I died.'' She frowned, looking confused. ''Very complicated, but in short... You were the last thing I thought.''
''And yet you want to run away?'' Harry swallowed the ball the size of the United Kingdom, approaching the redhead who still seemed half furious
''I don't want to hurt you.''
''You're hurting now'' Sad brown eyes cut him like a sharp knife.
''I'm sorry. For everything. I just.. just don't know what to do now'' she nodded, touching his face with her little hand.
''I don't know either, Harry, the only thing I know is that.. I need you here, and if you still want to.''
''.. I also need you, Ginny.'' He admitted, feeling weak suddenly as if he were finally being true, becoming vulnerable ''I love you so much'' Her cheeks blushed, and her brown eyes seemed to gain little tears that she would never admit were there.
''Stay with me... I don't think my mother will get over it if she loses you too'' He laughed, breaking the tense mood, and gently embraced her as he had been wanting since the end of it all. Finally felt that there might be something for him at the end of the tunnel.
''I think Weasleys women have a thing for me'' he joked, just because he wanted to see another feeling not being pain, passing the girl's eyes in his arms.
''It's the eyes.'' She smiled kindly ''So you mean you thought of me before you died? How was I? I hope beautiful.''
''You always are.'' He kissed the tip of her freckled nose, feeling alive for the first time. ''I'll stay.'' Ginny lay her head on his chest, hiding her beautiful face.
''Good...''
Harry kissed her smelly hair, feeling that all his demons were sitting watching them, looking astonished and not knowing how to make his head hell. Even his monster was purring.
Yes, maybe there was hope for him, after all.
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