Revealing Destiny by blue_skies_forever
Summary: *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated in over 2 years ***
Sequel to Road to Happiness. It’s been four years since Lily Potter said goodbye to her life in England and left for new adventures. She’s avoided going home for most of that time for one reason or another but certain events are about to transpire that will make further avoidance impossible. Times are changing, new and old threats emerge, and questions must be answered. Jack is still filled with anger and is reluctant to let Lily back into his life. He knows that he wants to move on in a number of ways but he still can’t seem to get his mind off the one that got away. Little do Jack and Lily know that destiny has bigger plans for them. Harry and Ginny stand hoping to help Jack and Lily realize that sometimes happiness is worth fighting for and that true love is worth the pain it causes.
Rating: R
Categories: Post-HBP
Characters: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Published: 2006.08.22
Updated: 2007.04.03
Index
Chapter 1: Chapter One: Don’t Look Back
Chapter 2: Chapter Two: Deep Regret
Chapter 3: Chapter Three: Traveling Memories
Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Painful Reminders
Chapter 5: Chapter Five: Sunshine and Heartache
Chapter 6: Chapter Six: Admittance
Chapter 7: Chapter Seven: One Step Forward…One Step Back
Chapter 1: Chapter One: Don’t Look Back
Author's Notes: Okay guys, here is chapter one. I know there was a wait for it to come out and I am sorry to say there will continue to be gaps of time between chapters. I'm a full time college student and I have two jobs so my life is full as it is without the story. I hope all of you will continue to ready even though it will be slow getting done. Thanks!
Revealing Destiny
Chapter One: Don’t Look Back
The sun shone incessantly over the small town in Southern California where twenty-one year old Lily Potter currently called home. Over the last few years she’d been many different places, but this one was perhaps the most unnerving: the constant sun got to her, the people were constantly cheerful, and sometimes it seemed that no one could be trusted. In ways it seemed like they were hiding something.
She lived in a small flat above a bike shop in the middle of the small downtown area. It had been a few months since she had moved in, but the place still felt like a hotel. Most of her things remained in boxes or duffle bags and the apartment was not decorated at all–no pictures, mementos, or keepsakes. If it weren’t for the bathroom, bed, and kitchen, one might think the space was used simply for storage.
Lily was asleep at the moment, sprawled out on her bed under nothing more than a sheet. The window was open, allowing the soft breeze to blow some black curls off of her face. It was nearly noon and the small city was alive below her, but as she had just fallen into bed at nine o’clock that morning she could hardly be seen as lazy.
In the corner stood a large open cage where Lily’s only companion also slept. The only other occupant of the room, Lily’s owl Flash had his head tucked under his wing to shield himself from the light. Unopened letters were stacked on her nightstand as well as scattered all around the bird’s cage. It was clear he was getting upset that she wasn’t even bothering to open the letters he brought for her, so he simply resorted to tossing them on the floor.
Unfortunately for Lily, had she answered any of those letters she may have been granted a few more hours of much needed sleep. If she answered the letter her cell phone may not have rang at exactly twelve fifteen. The silver metal object came to life beside her on the nightstand with both light and sound.
Sitting up straight in bed as fast as lightning, Lily looked around the room for several seconds before she realized what was making all the noise. She grabbed the cell phone and flipped it open angrily.
“Potter,” she said into the receiver, silently cursing whoever was on the other end of the receiver.
“Lily, it’s your father.”
Oh man, I’m definitely in trouble, she thought to herself as she looked around the room at the unopened mail.
“Are you there?” Harry Potter’s voice asked with much irritation.
“Yeah, Dad, I’m sorry. You woke me up. I was working last night,” she said in a voice she knew was several octaves below her normal speaking voice as it was laden with grogginess.
“It’s been two months, Lily. Two months we haven’t heard from you! What’s going on over there?”
“I’ve just been busy,” she said lamely. “I’m sorry I haven’t answered your letters. I was working on a big case that I just closed this morning.”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone followed by a long sigh. “Honey, we worry about you when we don’t hear from you. It’s one thing to not be able to see you everyday, but it’s another to not hear from you for weeks on end.”
“I know, Daddy, and I really am sorry.”
“Since you’re between cases at the moment, why don’t you come home for the weekend? It’s Dominique’s second birthday on Saturday and we’re having a party.”
“Wow, his birthday again already? I can’t believe he’s already two years old!” Lily said, trying to lighten the mood.
“That would be understandable seeing as how you haven’t seen him since he was nine months old.”
Lily shook her head, thinking, No go. There’s no sweet talking my way out of this one.
“I’ll be there,” she said without further argument. “Tell Mom to expect me Saturday morning.”
“I’ll tell her you’ll be arriving sometime in the early afternoon on Friday and that you might be staying the following week,” Harry corrected forcefully.
“Now, Dad I--”
“I don’t want to hear it, Lily,” Harry cut her off. “You’re coming home and I’m not letting you leave until you and I have talked at length about your lack of interest in your family.”
“It isn’t lack of interest--”
“We’ll talk about it this weekend. I’ll see you in a couple of days, sweetheart. I love you.”
Lily gritted her teeth but said nothing else in dispute. “Alright, this weekend then. I love you too.”
She ended the phone call and flopped back against the mattress. Why was it that he could still make her feel like a child? It was surprising, considering that he was never around for her childhood. He’s probably just making up for lost time.
Lily got up out of bed after deciding that she wouldn’t get any more sleep. She walked over to Flash’s cage and collected the letters on the floor. She thumbed through all of them, as well as the ones piling on her nightstand. They were all from her parents.
After sitting there for a moment, she stood up and changed into some running clothes. In no time she was hopping down the stairs to the shop below and being greeted by the storekeeper.
“Good afternoon, Christina,” the middle-aged man said.
Lily smiled and waved, used to being acknowledged by her current fake name. “Just off for a run, Mr. Wagner.”
Several minutes later she found herself running down Main Street toward the long country road heading out of town. Running was always a good way for her to get away from herself and her own thoughts–at least it usually was. However, she could tell that this run was going to be different.
It had been over four years since she’d left England and embarked on her new life here in America. She had been doing undercover work for the American Auror Department ever since she arrived. This was the reason she lived as a Muggle, and also the reason her father saw fit to call her on her department-issued cell phone to yell at her whenever she wasn’t responding to his owls.
She knew that she was hurting him and the rest of her family by staying away, but she was set in her solitary ways at this point. It almost felt like she was truly on her own sometimes, though she had to admit she missed being apart of their lives.
Ginny had given birth to a baby boy the fall after Lily had left. Lily had been able to make it home for the birth though she only came to see Harry, Ginny, and the baby. She avoided everyone else. Harry and Ginny named him James Arthur after his grandfathers. Nearly two years after James was born Ginny gave birth to another son whom they named Dominique Sirius. Lily had been on a top-secret mission at the time, and didn’t even know her step mother was pregnant until the mission was complete. She saw her younger brother on the only afternoon she could spare before heading off into the sunset once more.
Hermione had shocked everyone by giving birth to a girl a week after Ginny had James. They named her Anna Maria, and she was the apple of everyone’s eye. Lily was able to go see the baby about a week after she was born, but she hadn’t seen her since then. Ron and Hermione’s other children were all getting older as well, and Lily was sad to admit how distant they had become over recent years.
Jack was, perhaps, the biggest mystery of all. Lily knew that the hurt she had caused him by leaving in the manner that she had ran deep, she just didn’t know how deep. She wrote to him for the first eight months but he never wrote back. For the first two years she had sent him birthday and Christmas presents, even though she was never able to make it home for the holidays.
It was that second Christmas that he sent them all back–every letter she ever wrote him, every gift she ever sent: all unopened. He sent no card or letter with the items. They simply arrived looking as if she had sent them yesterday. It was then that she had learned just how many times one person could break your heart. It wasn’t that she blamed him, but she had hoped that she would have meant more to him than that. Even though she didn’t like to admit it, Jack was the reason she stayed away. Silently she was hoping that he would send her some sign that it was okay to return. Part of her didn’t think she could handle seeing him again if he hated her and the other part wanted to stay away for his sake so he could move on. Part of her was hoping that maybe there could be reconciliation between them, but that Christmas sealed the deal: it was over. She may have ended it by leaving, but he ended any chance they had at friendship by not responding to her letters.
After he sent everything back she decided to move on in more ways than one. She started dating casually. The men she dated these days never really knew the real Lily. She went out with a few muggles while she was on assignment and a couple people who worked with the American ministry. There were a few guys she could have seen herself in a relationship with but her lifestyle made it next to impossible for her to maintain a relationship because she was undercover so much.
Life on her own was hard at times. She had made friends within the department who she went out with on occasion, and her partner Adam Wright was a great guy who she got along with really well. After a year of working together they bought a house in Chicago where they lived when they weren’t working. Adam was four years older than she was. His fiancée had been murdered three months before their wedding when he was Lily’s age. He was completely devoted to his work now even more so than Lily.
Lily pulled herself out of her memories as she realized how far from town she’d come on her run. She didn’t know how long she had been running at this point, but she decided it was probably a good idea to turn back and head into town. She had some packing to do if she heading home for the weekend.
“Baby, have you seen that gray sweatshirt I wore here a few weeks ago?”
Jack Weasley looked up from the paperwork in front of him and into the brown eyes of his girlfriend. “I don’t know, Allie. Did you look in my dresser?”
“Yeah, I can’t find it in there,” Allie said as she walked away from him and back into his bedroom. He got up from his desk to go help her look. His quarters at Hogwarts weren’t that large, but things still had a way of disappearing. The two of them looked together for a few minutes until there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll be right back, love,” Jack said as he left her to her search. He made his way to the front door quickly, and pulled the wooden door open to reveal his father standing there with his hands in his pockets.
“Hey Dad,” Jack said as he opened the door and motioned for him to come inside.
“Hello, Jack,” Ron said stiffly.
Jack followed his father into the sitting room. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to remind you about Saturday,” Ron said once they were face to face once more.
“Saturday…?”
“Dominique’s birthday party,” Ron said in a somewhat strained tone of voice.
“Oh right, good thing you reminded me. I’ll have to make sure Allie is free.”
“It’s really just a family thing, Jack,” Ron told him, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
“Since when does that mean I can’t invite my girlfriend?” Jack asked accusingly.
Ron sighed and decided to give up in order to avoid a fight, “Okay, son, do whatever you want. I don’t care if you bring a clown with you, just be there.”
“I will be.”
“I found it!” Allie came running into the room with a triumphant look on her face, holding the sweater up in the air. Her smile fell immediately when she saw Ron standing there. “Oh, um…Mr. Weasley, I didn’t see you there. How are you?”
Ron smiled but the happy expression never reached his eyes. “I’m fine, Allison. I was just reminding Jack of his cousin’s birthday party this Saturday.”
Allison turned to Jack. “But Jack, we have those theater tickets for Saturday night.”
Jack scratched the back of his head with his hand. “Well, we’ll just stay at the party for a while and leave early.”
“Then you’d better come early,” Ron commanded more than suggested.
“Fine, Dad.” Jack said tensely. “Anything else?”
“No, I think that’s all for today,” Ron replied. “I’ll see you on Saturday then.”
Once Ron had gone, Allison collapsed on the sofa in a huff. “He hates me.”
Jack sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “No, he doesn’t.”
“Yes he does,” Allie argued. “Your whole family does.”
“They just haven’t gotten used to you yet.”
“Jack, we’ve been dating for a year and a half. You’d think they would at least try.”
Jack thought for a moment before leaning down and capturing her lips with his. He pulled back and looked into her eyes with a determined expression. “Who cares what they think?”
Allison’s eyes twinkled and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down to her once more.
On Friday morning, Harry made his way down the stairs of this home in search of his wife. She was always up in the morning before he was in the summertime.
“Ginny,” he called, looking around.
“In the kitchen, love,” he heard her reply happily.
He quickly walked down the rest of the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen where he found Ginny sitting at the table with their two children and feeding them breakfast.
“Appies,” Dominique said through fits of giggles.
“Apples, that’s right, baby,” Ginny said, laughing, “You’re so smart!” She looked up and saw him staring at them from the doorway. “Care to join us?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Harry said, shaking his head, “sorry. Hey there, birthday boy!” He picked Dominique up from his seat and held him in his arms.
“Daddy!” Dominique squealed.
Harry smiled and ruffled James’ black hair. “Good morning, son.”
“Morning,” James said through a mouthful of pancakes. Harry looked over at Ginny’s upturned face and couldn’t help himself. He shifted Dominique in his arms and leaned forward to kiss her soundly on the lips.
“Gross, Dad,” James said in disgust.
Ginny laughed and got up to fix Harry a plate. He took a seat and turned Dominique around so that he was facing the table as well.
“When is Lily getting here?”
“She said sometime this afternoon,” Harry said, taking a sip from the juice glass in front of him.
“She said she’d be here this afternoon, or you told her to be here this afternoon?” Ginny asked accusingly as she walked back to the table with his breakfast on a plate. She set it down in front of him.
“We haven’t seen her in over a year, and even then it was only for an afternoon in New York City when the boys weren’t with us.”
“She’s a busy girl.”
“She needs to remember that she’s got a family that wants to see her.”
Ginny sighed and sat down. “Harry, she’s twenty-one years old. She deserves to have a life of her own. I’ll admit that I’d love for her to be around more but if this is what truly makes her happy, then we need to accept that. If she shows up here and all you do is nag her then she’s not going to want to come home more often.”
“I know,” Harry admitted. “I guess I don’t really understand. She left to find herself. She wanted to be independent and on her own. She has that now. You know how much she’s changed over the last few years, Gin. She’s become everything she ever wanted to be. Why won’t she come home?”
“Come home to what?” Ginny asked rhetorically. “She has family, of course, but sometimes that isn’t enough. I don’t think she feels needed here. I know she’s tried to contact Jack while she was away but he won’t have it. Her job isn’t here anymore; it’s in the States. I know she’s made friends there. Maybe she feels at home there more so than here.”
Harry shook his head. “It’s really too bad about Jack. They were such good friends and they’re meant to be together.”
“If it’s truly meant to be, then they’ll find each other again,” Ginny stated wisely. “Look at us,” she added with a smile.
Harry put down his fork and took hold of her hand that had been resting on the table. “Yeah, look at us.” He kissed his son’s forehead while gazing into his wife’s eyes, hoping that one day Jack and Lily would be as happy as he was right at this very moment.
DING DONG
“I’ll get that,” Harry said. He and Ginny were upstairs getting the boys ready for the party. There was still about an hour before everyone was supposed to start arriving.
He left Ginny struggling with Dominique, trying to get his shirt over his head. Taking the stairs two at a time, he ran to the door and skidded to a halt.
Yanking open the door he was pleasantly surprised to discover who their unexpected visitor was. “Jack! A bit early isn’t it?”
Jack shifted he’s weight from foot to foot with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah I know, but Allie and I have to leave early tonight because we have plans. I thought I’d stop by early to make up for it.”
Harry smiled and pulled his godson inside. “That’s sounds good. Speaking of Allie, where is she?”
“She’ll be by later. She got caught up at work,” Jack said as Harry led them up the stairs.
“Does she like it at the Ministry?”
“She doesn’t talk about it all that much. I assume it’s fine.”
“What department is she in?”
“Muggle Relations,” Jack answered.
“Bet your Grandfather gets along with her quite well,” Harry commented, laughing while thinking about Arthur Weasley.
“No, he actually doesn’t seem too fond of her,” Jack answered flatly.
By now they had reached Dominique’s room where Ginny had been able to persuade Dominique to wear his shirt after all. He was playing with his brother on the floor with their toy Quidditch set. Ginny was sitting on the bed and catching her breath, but she stood up and went to Jack the moment he came into the room.
“Oh Jack, it so good to see you!” she exclaimed as she hugged him enthusiastically.
“You too, Aunt Gin. You look good,” Jack said, returning her embrace sheepishly.
“Jack came early because he’s got to leave early tonight,” Harry explained.
“Well, that’s lovely. Why don’t we take the boys downstairs and I’ll make us some tea?” Ginny suggested. Jack and Harry shrugged and then nodded. Harry picked up Dominique and Jack took James’ hand and together they walked down the stairs.
“You’re staying at Hogwarts this summer, right Jack?” Ginny asked.
“Yeah, I’m going to look for my own flat sometime next year. Actually, Allie and I were thinking about moving in together,” Jack answered quickly.
“Bet your mother loves that,” Harry said under his breath.
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Jack asked, turning to face his godfather on the stairs.
Harry stuttered, “Well, I…you know…Your Mum is kind of old-fashioned about those things. She’d probably rather you got married first.”
“She’d rather I not be involved with Allison,” Jack said darkly.
“She likes Allie,” Ginny said ahead of them. She had reached the bottom of the stairs and was making her way to the kitchen.
“Let’s just drop it, alright?” Jack suggested. James let go of his hand and went to go play in the living room with his brother. “They’re getting so big,” Jack commented, staring after them.
“I know,” Harry said fondly. “They grow up too fast.”
The three of them had just taken a seat the table when there was a ringing noise. Jack looked around and saw what he distinctly knew to be a telephone base sitting on the kitchen counter.
“Since when do you use a Muggle telephone?” he asked, sounding amused.
Harry and Ginny exchanged apprehensive looks. Harry got up to go looking for
the phone hand piece which seemed to have gone missing.
Ginny was left to explain, “Well, it’s the only way we’ve been able to…to talk to--”
Jack immediately knew who she was talking about halfway through her sentence and decided to put her out of her misery. “It’s okay, Aunt Ginny. You can say her name in front of me. It hasn’t killed me yet.”
Ginny sighed and nodded. “She’s just always working undercover and she carries a cell phone. Sometimes she’s too busy to write and fireplaces are hard to come by in Muggle America.” The phone was still ringing in the background, and Harry came into the room looking flustered.
“I can’t find it,” he said, throwing up his hands.
“Just use the speakerphone, love,” Ginny suggested with a wave of her hand.
“Right,” Harry breathed, running over to the counter. He pressed the speaker button and the room was filled instantaneously with noises from the other end of the phone. It sounded like there were a hundred people speaking all at once in the background. Car horns could be heard along with babies crying and rustling trees.
“Hello,” Harry said loudly.
“Dad!” Lily’s voice said sounding out of breath. She had to shout over the background noise to be heard.
Jack stared straight ahead of him and didn’t blink. It was the strangest thing, hearing her voice after so long. Somehow he had expected it to be different, but it sounded just the same. Even her voice was beautiful.
“Lily, where are you?” Harry asked.
Ginny got up from the table when the pot on the stove started to scream, signaling that the water was boiling. She opened the cupboard and pulled out three mugs.
“We’re outside the station in San Francisco. But it’s a madhouse here. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t think we’ll be able to make it until later tonight.”
Harry looked back and Jack who was staring off into space. He probably should have told him she was coming.
Lily’s voice brought him back to their conversation. “Dad, are you there? Hello?”
“Yeah, I’m here, honey. Just be careful and get here as soon as you can,” Harry said soberly. “We’re all excited to see you. I haven’t told anyone you’re coming, so it will be a little surprise.”
“That probably wasn’t the best idea,” Lily said before pausing for a long second. “Hold on, Dad,” she said, sounding annoyed. There were some rustling sounds and then Lily spoke again, but this time she clearly wasn’t talking to her father. “Adam! Come back here! We’ll loose our place in line! Wright, where the heck are you going? I know you hear me!” More crackling noises followed and then she came back to the phone, “Dad, I’m gonna have to let you go. He’s gone off somewhere and I need to find him. I’ll see you later alright. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Harry replied. He hung up the phone after he heard the other end click. He slowly turned to face Jack who was now tightly gripping the cup of tea Ginny had just placed in front of him. “Jack?”
“Huh?” Jack said, looking up at him as if he didn’t know anyone was in the room.
“I’m sorry…I should have given you some kind of warning that she was coming tonight,” Harry said with a sympathetic look.
Jack faked a reassuring smile. “It’s alright. She’s your daughter and Dominique is her brother so it makes sense that she would be coming. I don’t know why the thought didn’t cross my mind before now.”
“Probably because she usually doesn’t come to these things,” Harry suggested. “She’s usually busy but I guess she’s between cases at the moment. They have to travel using fake names so they can’t use department apparation zones. They’re at the civilian station.”
“That’s good that she’s coming,” Jack declared. “I look forward to seeing her again.”
Ginny and Harry exchanged looks and shrugged behind his back. They both knew he was lying. He didn’t want to see Lily anymore than he wanted to jump off a cliff. Everyone had noticed how much he loved to pretend she had simply fallen off the face of the Earth. They’d just have to wait and see if Jack would hide his distain for Lily that evening when she arrived. Admittedly, they both knew this meeting could be just one disaster waiting to happen.
Jack, Allison, Andy, Andy’s girlfriend Lisa, and Kyle all sat around the bonfire in the back of the house with Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Arthur and Molly Weasley were over talking to Remus and Tonks, and the rest of the children were all scattered around visiting with each other. Jack sat in a lawn chair, holding Allison’s hand in his.
She leaned forward and whispered in his ear.
“How much longer?”
He kissed her forehead and looked at his watch. “An hour at the most.”
“So Jack, how’s the Quidditch program going?” Harry asked from across the circle.
“Pretty fair,” Jack answered. “I’m trying to vamp things up for next year though, maybe play some other schools in Europe.”
Harry smiled and looked back up towards the house. Something he saw made his smile broaden and he stood up. Ginny looked at her husband with a curious expression before following his line of vision and standing up as well. Jack turned his head and couldn’t help it when his jaw dropped.
There walking towards the group in a short cutoff jean skirt and black tank top was Lily Potter, her hair flowing behind her in waves of black and her green eyes sparkling with her smile. When she saw they were all looking at her, she ran the rest of the way and almost jumped into her father’s arms. Harry’s hug lifted her off her feet and she squealed as she was twirled around in a circle.
“Merlin, it’s good to see you!” she said in a voice that was muffled against his shirt.
“You look magnificent, Lily,” Harry said when he sat her down and pulled away to have a better look at her.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it here sooner. But the good thing is that I have a week or so off that I can spend with you all,” Lily offered diplomatically.
“I’ll accept that,” Harry conceded, not looking angry in the slightest, though he had been thoroughly disappointed that she hadn’t made it home before the party so they could have caught up a bit before everyone got there.
Jack wasn’t really listening to their conversation. He was trying to figure out what was different about her. She was thinner than she was when she left four years ago, her skin tan and her smile more alive. She wore light make-up which made her green eyes stand out brilliantly. She looked great; even he couldn’t deny her that. He was surprised how happy she looked. Somehow he had expected her to be the same girl that had left him standing at Hogwarts gates over four years ago. Clearly that wasn’t the case.
It was in this mist of his examination of how she’d changed over the last four years that he noticed she hadn’t come alone. There was a tall young man standing behind her with longish brown hair and gray eyes. He was good-looking and probably a few years older than she was. He was physically fit and had a sense of power about him.
“You must be Adam,” Harry said when he noticed him as well. The man nodded and reached to shake Harry’s hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Potter,” Adam said in a voice that carried nothing but self-confidence. He accent was unmistakably British.
Harry smiled and waved his hand at the air. “Call me Harry, son.”
Lily began walking around the circle giving out hugs after she spoke with Ginny for a few quick moments. Jack watched as his mother released her from a hug with tears in her eyes. His father pulled her into a bear hug and messed up her hair for good measure. They both looked like Father Christmas had come early this year.
“Lily! I can’t believe it!” Andy said when she reached him. He too pulled her to him in a brotherly embrace. He had grown a few inches since she’d seen him last when he was sixteen and now he stood four inches taller than she was. “It’s so good to see you!”
“You too,” Lily said, grinning. “Boy, look at you all grown up! And you, Kyle all done with school yet?”
Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I start training to join the ministry in the fall.”
Jack shook his head. Even after all these years and all the things Lily had missed in their lives, they still loved her as much as they had when she was still a part of their everyday lives. Once Kyle finished telling Lily about his internship, he and Andy looked at Jack expectantly. Lily followed their gaze and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Her smile faltered a little bit as she looked at him for the first time. This was the moment Jack been dreading for the past four years.
“Hey, Jack,” she said, sensing that he wasn’t going to make the first move.
“Hey,” Jack replied, managing a small smile. Not really sure if he should hug her or not, he took a step forward and after a moment of contemplation held out his hand in a very formal gesture as if he was greeting someone he was about to do business with. She looked down at his hand for a second or two before slipping her hand into his and giving it a quick shake. Her small hand fit into his for only a second, and he found himself missing its presence once it was gone. Funny how some things never change, he thought.
“How are you?” she asked formally. Before this her voice contained a lot of excitement, but now it was void of anything other than simple obligation. It was as if she could sense that he didn’t want to be near her.
“I’m good,” Jack replied, nodding his head.
She waited for a second to see if he was going to ask her how she was in turn but he remained silent. When she felt that she’d waited long enough, she turned back to her father. “Where’s the birthday boy?” she asked excitedly.
“He’s with inside playing with Anna Maria and James. Brandon’s watching them with Joe,” Harry said, nodding toward the house.
Lily walked back to Adam. “Come on, I want you to meet them,” she said, taking his hand and leading him towards the house. “We’ll be right back,” she called to everyone as they walked away.
Jack’s eyes followed them all the way to the house. He took his seat again next to Allison who had remained strangely quiet throughout the whole exchange.
“So that was her?” Allison asked softly so no one could hear.
“Yeah, that’s her alright,” Jack replied with a sigh.
“Are they seeing each other?” Ron wondered with his eyes still in the direction Lily and Adam just left in.
“No, they work together,” Harry dismissed. “To be honest I think he may fancy her a bit, but she won’t have any of it.”
“I don’t see why,” Hermione stated. “He seems like a nice young man.”
Harry looked conflicted, “Well, Lily’s just…” Jack could have sworn he saw Harry glance quickly in his direction before he settled on, “careful.”
Jack didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation. For the most part he just sat there and stared off into space deep in thought. He wasn’t quite sure how seeing Lily again made him feel. Truth be told, he had spent much of the past four years pretending Lily Potter didn’t exist. He was glad she had decided to stay away from every family gathering, because that would have meant he’d have to face how he felt about her leaving. He knew he was still angry about it; he just didn’t know what else he should be feeling. They obviously weren’t friends anymore, but at the same time he didn’t exactly know how to not be her friend when she was around. It was easy with her half a world away, but a completely different situation with her at home.
The conversation went on, and about a half hour later Lily and Adam came walking back over to the group.
“He’s gotten so big!” Lily proclaimed as they took seats in the two chairs her father had conjured for them. “And James! He looks just like you, Dad.”
“Yeah he does, but Dominique looks like his Mum,” Harry said leaning over and kissing his wife on the cheek.
“So Lily, how do you like it in the States?” Ginny asked, eager to hear all about Lily’s mysterious life.
“It’s hectic and sometimes strange. Not much has changed there since I left to start school,” Lily said, crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair.
Jack found himself mesmerized by her. Yes, she is different now, he decided. She was grown up.
“Is it dangerous?” Hermione wondered cautiously.
Lily and Adam exchanged looks before Lily answered, “It is at times. But it’s really exciting. I enjoy it a lot more than I thought I would.”
“You’d better be looking out for her,” Ron said to Adam warningly.
Adam looked over at Lily once more, “Sir, Lily can take care of herself better than anyone I know.”
“We watch out for each other, Uncle Ron,” Lily said quickly to smooth things over.
Ron seemed satisfied with that answer, for he nodded and let the issue drop.
“What about you, Dad?” Lily asked, turning to her father. “Still love teaching?”
“Absolutely,” Harry answered without missing a beat. “You should--” Harry was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing. Everyone looked in the direction of the sound which just happened to be Adam’s pocket.
“I’m sorry,” Adam said regrettably. “I’ll take this over here,” he said, standing up and quickly walking away from the circle.
Harry went on with his thought, “You should think about it when you’re done with the Auror Department, Lily. I know you’d make a brilliant professor.”
“But the top spot is taken,” Lily said jokingly. “How could I possibly hope to have any chance at teaching defense when you’ve got dibs on it?”
“At the moment,” Harry said, “but it isn’t always going to be that way. You can’t keep on doing what you’re doing forever, can you?”
Lily looked uncomfortable and again Jack could have sworn he saw her glance in his direction for a split second. “I don’t know, Dad. I kind of like my life the way it is right now.”
Before he could stop himself, Jack opened his mouth and began talking for the first time since she arrived. “You like running all over the globe, risking your life for people you barely know?” he asked in a condescending tone of voice.
She looked just as shocked as he did that he was actually speaking to her without being forced to. “Yes, I do,” Lily replied with her head held high.
“You must like deserting your family then,” Jack said coldly. His eyes bore into hers but she wasn’t backing down.
She glared just as coolly back at him. “I haven’t deserted anyone, Jack. I’m merely living my life the way I want to live it. If you see that as desertion than perhaps you need a lesson in happiness more than I do.”
Jack probably would have said something in return but by that time Adam was walking back to the group with his cell phone in his hand. He must have heard the end of their little disagreement because he too didn’t look too happy with what Jack was saying. He shook his head at his partner’s former best friend and grabbed hold of Lily’s shoulder to get her attention.
“You might want to take this one, love,” he said, holding the phone out for her to take. Lily continued to stare at Jack for a lingering second before she took the phone from her partner.
“Potter,” she said in a business voice. She was silent for a second before the expression on her face changed drastically. Her eyes met Adam’s and he nodded. “Tell Luca I’m not even in the same county…No, I’m at home with my family,” she said, getting up and walking towards the house for some privacy.
“Who is that she’s talking to?” Harry asked.
“Dennis O’Connor,” Adam informed him.
“What does he want?” Ginny said. It had been a while since they had heard about Dennis. Lily technically didn’t work for him, and Jack had left the department when Lily left the country.
“He has some news,” Adam said vaguely. He looked back to Harry, “We had a small run in with Malfoy.”
“What? Where?” Harry asked, bewildered. That was another name they hadn’t heard in a while. Lily never spoke of him, claiming that he no longer exerted influence over her, and no one had seen hid or hair of him in over two years. He honestly believed Lily was not telling the whole truth about Malfoy’s influence over her but he wasn’t about to push the issue now unless she was ready.
“I don’t know exactly where. You’ll have to ask Lily when she comes back,” Adam said again, taking his seat.
“Don’t worry. I will,” Harry stated firmly.
Forty-five minutes later Lily still hadn’t returned to the circle. Jack and Allie stood up to make their exit so they could make it to the theater in London on time. They said goodbye to everyone outside and made their way to the house so Jack could say goodbye to his other siblings and cousins. He found Brandon, Joe, Anna Maria, James, and Dominique inside. They were playing with a toy snitch and the toddlers stumbled around the room trying to catch it. Jack walked into the room and only then did he notice Lily sitting on the floor with Anna Maria on her lap.
“Oh, I um…didn’t know you were in here,” Jack said nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets
“Clearly,” Lily said flatly. “It was good playing with you, Anna Maria,” she said
to the small child on her lap.
“Bye, Lily,” Anna Maria said before climbing off her lap to go play with Dominique and James. Brandon and Joe both looked between their brother and Lily as if expecting one of the two of them to start yelling.
Lily stood up and walked toward the door. That was when Jack decided to speak up. “This is my girlfriend Allie. Allie this is Lily.”
Allie held out her hand and Lily shook it firmly. “Nice to meet you,” she said kindly.
“You as well,” Allie said with a fake smile. Once they were done shaking hands, she took hold of Jack’s and stood by his side.
“Well, I’ll just be going then,” Lily said awkwardly as she swept from the room. Jack pulled Allie with him as he walked after her.
“Leaving so soon?” he asked once they were far enough way that the younger kids wouldn’t hear them, which meant they were in the kitchen. He spoke to her back, and for a few seconds she didn’t answer nor turn to face him.
When she did, her face was set, her shoulders back, and her head high. “I have something I need to take care of,” she told him.
“More important than being with your family?” Jack asked condescendingly.
“I decide what is important in my life, Jack. My family is very high on that list. I do the things I do to make the world a safer place for kids like my baby brothers in there. If you have a problem with that, then I’m sorry, but frankly I don’t care all that much about your opinion of me.”
Jack laughed sadistically and shook his head, “Is that so?”
“Yes,” Lily re-affirmed with wide eyes. “And to be honest with you, from the limited information I’ve been able to gather, you are certainly not one to lecture me on obligations to family and friends.”
If she could have said anything to set him off more than he already was, that was it. “I’ve seen them more than you have,” he reminded her venomously.
“This isn’t a contest, Jack. I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here to see my brother on his birthday and hopefully spend the week with my family catching up. Unfortunately something has come up and I have to leave right now for a little while, but I will be back as soon as I possibly can.”
“Yes. Well, I know all about your promises now, don’t I?” Jack muttered angrily.
There were a few moments of tense silence before Allie became uncomfortable. “You know what, love,” she said, turning to Jack, “I’m going to go wait for you on the front porch.”
Jack nodded and forced a smile. She kissed him quickly on the lips and left the room quickly. He looked back at Lily to find her with her arms crossed over her chest and her gaze down on the floor.
She spoke before he could get the chance to in a voice so wounded that it nearly broke his heart. “Contrary to what you may think, Jack, I do love my family very much. I love them as much as I love you. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could come here and you’d have grown up enough to want to at least try to be friends like we used to be. Clearly that isn’t the case. Now I see the way things are and I can put the issue to rest.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re at ease then,” Jack said in response.
She sighed and turned around to face the window overlooking the backyard. She spoke again but she didn’t turn back around. “I’ll always have this memory of you in my mind. This vision really. Jack Weasley, kind and steadfast and honorable and pure. There was a time in my life when you were all I thought I wanted.”
Jack shook his head and pleaded, “Lily, don’t do this.”
She turned around, realizing this was the first time he’d said her name in a conversation other than the introduction a moment ago. “Don’t do what? Don’t tell it like it is? You don’t know how glad I am that I didn’t settle for what I had four years ago if this is what you were destined to turn into. The Jack Weasley from my memory no longer exists. I know that now. I guess I can no longer feel guilty for loving him. He was ten times the man you will ever be.”
He said nothing. He simply looked at the floor and felt her take a few steps closer to him.
“And you are not my boyfriend, nor are you my friend as you have made blatantly clear, so I would appreciate it if you would spare me any further lecture on how much you think I have let my family down. And I’ll thank you to remember that I have every right to be here just as much as you do. I don’t deserve to be attacked by you. I am not looking for your approval.”
She let her words sink in before she moved to walk away. Jack, however, seemed to have come out of his trance and there was no way was he letting her have the last word. He ran quickly and blocked her path.
“Is this because I moved on? You’re angry because I didn’t wait for you! It’s been four years, Lily!”
“It isn’t about waiting, Jack! I knew the moment I made the final decision to leave that it was over between you and me. I knew you’d never understand why I had to go. This is about friendship! Friends don’t do things to intentionally hurt the other!”
“And leaving me behind wasn’t a way of intentionally hurting me!”
“For once, Jack, it wasn’t about you. It was about me. I needed to grow up and learn how to take care of myself. I needed to learn to respect myself and believe that I deserved to be loved as much as you said you did. And if it’s a question of waiting, then you sure as hell better know that I would have waited for you if the situation was reversed. I would have waited forever.”
Jack stared into her eyes and knew she wasn’t kidding. That fact, however, didn’t stem his anger. “How was I supposed to know that you’d come back?”
“It doesn’t matter. I told you this isn’t about not waiting.”
“What did you want me to do then? Just forget about it? Forget about the things we promised each other?”
“You want to talk to me about promises, Jack? What about all the things you promised me? You said you’d always be there when I needed you. You promised me that you’d always care. You promised that no matter what we’d still be friends at the end of the day. What happened to that?”
“You can’t possibly expect me to be your friend after what you pulled.”
Lily ignored his comment and went on, “How many letters have I sent you since I left? Do you even know? I’ve thought about you every single day I’ve been away. And I tried to be your friend! I put forth the effort, but I’m done now! If you ever want anything from me other than indifference, it will be on you. You’re the one that’s going to have to make the move.”
“Whoever said I want anything from you!?” Jack cried.
Lily made a noise of frustration and pulled at her hair. “Then what the hell are you doing? If you don’t want anything from me then leave me alone! I tried for years to get you to talk to me and now I can’t get you to lay off! You’re the one claiming to have moved on. You look happy. You’ve found some brilliant girl who clearly cares for you. You don’t care about me! Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right!” Jack yelled furiously.
“Then start bloody acting like it!” Lily screamed.
Jack took a step away from her and shook his head. She was right. If he didn’t care than he should just let it go. But he couldn’t. He knew he’d never be able to. He looked at her standing there with her fists clinched at her sides and all the emotions from when she first left came rushing back. All the hurt and anger and misunderstandings. With renewed purpose he walked right up to her again and stood towering over her.
“I could care less what you do. Go off to America chasing Malfoy for all I care. Get yourself killed over some stranger and I wouldn’t bat an eye. What I care about are the people here; your brothers, my parents, my baby sister and my brothers. For some ungodly reason they still care for you. They still love you. I don’t want you to hurt them anymore than you already have. Sooner or later you’re going to bring them misery. We both know it’s what you do best.”
Lily took in a sharp breath and tore her eyes away from his. Her hands were clasped together over her stomach now and he distinctly saw them shaking.
It was alarming how much a person could change in a matter of moments before your eyes. Seconds ago she was the one telling him off. Now she was the same seventeen-year-old girl he’d known so well four years ago. She was the same girl and she was hurting. And this time it was his fault. He put the fear in her eyes. He put the tension in her face. His words caused her this pain. He felt sick over it. He had thought for years that telling her off would make him feel better. He was dreadfully wrong. It made him feel worse. So much worse.
Lily swallowed the lump in her throat and continued to look away. When she found her voice she said meekly, “Goodbye Jack,” before turning around quickly and walking out the back door.
Chapter 2: Chapter Two: Deep Regret
Author's Notes: Please tell me what you think
Chapter Two: Deep Regret
Jack woke up the morning after the party after a terrible night’s sleep. He kept having reoccurring nightmares. He’d dream of running through the halls of the underground prison where Malfoy kept Lily. He screamed her name over and over but no matter how fast he ran or how hard he looked he couldn’t find her. Finally, he sat up in bed, swung his legs over the side of the mattress and held his face in his hands. Merlin, he was such a prat. No matter how angry he was at Lily for leaving, he had no right to make her feel like she wasn’t welcome in her own home.
He and Allie had left just after Lily left him standing there in the kitchen with his heart in his throat. They made it halfway to the theater before Jack asked her if it would be alright if they took a rain check on seeing the play. He was already feeling guilty about what he said to Lily and he knew he wasn’t being very good company. He took her back to her room at the boarding house in London and went home.
Now that it was morning and he’d had enough time to think about what happened he knew there was only one thing to do. Harry would never forgive him if Lily never came home again because he lost his temper. He stood up from bed, having made up his mind, and got dressed. After a quick shower and very light breakfast he left his quarters at Hogwarts and walked down the many halls and staircases to get to the Great Hall doors. When he opened the large wooden doors the sunlight burst through and nearly blinded him. I was indeed a beautiful late July day. The gentle breeze ruffled the grass and caused the trees to sway gently back and forth. He walked to the gates at a brisk pace and headed towards Hogsmade. It took him about ten minutes to reach Harry and Ginny’s house. Once he walked up the stairs to their house and knocked loudly on the door.
“Jack, what a surprise,” Ginny said brightly. She opened the door and gestured for him to come inside.
Jack didn’t move, “I was just wondering if Lily ever came back here last night. I need to speak with her.”
“No, she had some work that took longer than she thought it would I guess. We haven’t heard from her since she sent an owl sometime in the middle of the night saying she was alright but that she was just going to go home to rest.”
“Do you know where she says in America?”
“No, I’m sorry I don’t. She’s always moving around. I’m sure that Dennis O’Connor will know.”
“Alright, I’ll go see him then,” Jack said turning around and walking down the stairs.
“Don’t you want to come in, Jack,” Ginny called from behind him.
“No, next time,” Jack called over his shoulder before closing his eyes and disappearing with a POP.
In a matter of moments Jack found himself walking the familiar path to his old place of employment. Despite the fact that it was a Sunday the closer he got to the Auror Department the more crowded the halls became. He found the office he was looking for and stopped outside it. He hesitated a second before raising his hand and knocking softly.
“Come in,” Dennis O’Connor’s voice called from the other side of the door. Jack turned the doorknob and pecked his head into the large office. Dennis looked up from the paperwork on his desk and smiled in his direction. “Jack! Come in come in!”
Jack smiled in return, opened the door wider to let himself in, and shut it behind him. Dennis got up from his desk and came around it to shake Jack’s hand.
“How are ya, kid,” he ask grasping his hand tightly.
“I’m good, O’Connor. How are things here?” Jack asked as he took a seat in one of the chairs that were placed in front of Dennis’ desk. Dennis perched on the end of his desk and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Busy, Weasley, very busy. You haven’t decided to come back have you? I could use a bloke who know what he’s doing.”
“No,” Jack said shaking his head, “I’m not coming back.”
Dennis shrugged and went back around his desk to sit in his chair, “I figured as much. I knew when we lost Lily that we’d loose you too.”
“Yeah, well….” Jack allowed his sentence to drift off as he looked away.
Dennis cleared his throat and kicked his feet up onto the corner of his desk. “What can I do for you, Weasley?”
Jack looked at him again and cleared his throat, “Well, I am here because of Lily. I need to know if you know where she’s staying in America.”
Dennis’ brow creased and he sighed. He opened one of the drawers under his desk and pulled out a file. “Lily and her partner Adam Wright move around a lot when they’re working undercover. They do have a house they own together that they use when they’re not working.”
“They live together?” Jack asked tensely.
Dennis nodded, “Yes, they get a long very well from what I hear. I am in communication with their supervisor quite frequently and he is very pleased with how good they work together.”
“Can you tell me where this house is?” Jack asked not really wanting to hear anymore about Lily’s new partner.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Dennis said uncomfortably. “We’re not really supposed to give that information out to civilians, Jack.”
“I still have security clearance with the department,” Jack reminded him.
“Yes, but…why do you want to know?”
“Look, Dennis Lily came home last night for her brother’s birthday party and I think I may have been a little hard on her. They left early because they said you called with information on Malfoy.”
“Yes, well that turned out to be another dirty trick,” Dennis said darkly.
“I just want to go and talk to her so she doesn’t feel she needs to stay away from her family anymore. I think I might have confirmed her worst fears and I don’t want her family to suffer because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”
Dennis studied his former employee carefully for a moment. “Last night they went to the area where Malfoy was supposedly sighted. It was utter chaos. I know you’ll remember what happened on that island four years ago.”
Jack nodded his head wondering what all this had to do with anything.
“Anyway, they got there and during the battle Lily got hit with a pretty nasty curse. Now, she’s alright. But she’s not going to be working for a couple of weeks because she’s not allowed to do any magic until her reserves are back up again. So if I give you the address you have to promise me that you won’t get her all rivaled up.”
“I won’t,” Jack promised, “I just want to apologize.”
“Maybe you can convince her to spend the next couple of weeks at home. Her supervisor and I tried to earlier this morning when she was released from the hospital but she won’t have it. I guess now I know why.”
“I’ll talk to her,” Jack replied.
Dennis pulled out an old shoe and handed it to him. “This is a portkey. It will take you to the alley near their house in Chicago. Its number 3242. It’s green with navy shutters. Don’t make me regret this, Weasley.”
“I won’t, Sir.”
Jack went back to Hogwarts until after lunchtime. He didn’t want to arrive to early and wake her up because of the six hour time difference. When he knew it would be about ten o’clock in the morning he activated the portkey from the gates of Hogwarts and landed in the alley just like Dennis said. Soon he found himself on the doorstep of a rather modest looking house on the outskirts of Chicago. He walked up the stair to get to the front door and took a moment to collect himself before he knocked on the door. The house was two stories with a well kept lawn. There were flowers along the walk path and two shiny cars in the driveway. He looked around the busy suburban street. There were children out playing in the yard and parents sitting on porches watching over them. It was obvious that this wasn’t a magical community. Finally working up the courage, he raised his arm and knocked on the metal door three times. In a matter of moments he heard footsteps on the other side of the door and a few seconds later the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Adam Wright.
He sighed when he saw who was at the door and only opened it enough so he could fit his body between the door and the doorframe.
“Can I help you?” He said irritably.
“I’m looking for Lily,” Jack said straightening up. He wasn’t going to be intimidated by some guy he barely knew.
“She’s resting at the moment,” Adam told him.
Jack looked around to make sure no one was nearby who could over hear him. “Look, I know about what happened with Malfoy. I’ve come to talk to her about last night.”
Adam studied him for a second before opening the door more and stepping aside. Jack walked into the house. The front room was a small narrow hallway with a closet to the right and a low bench to the left. Jack followed Adam down the short hallway into what appeared to be a rather large living room. There was an L-shaped couch on one end facing a fireplace and a television on the other end with two smaller sofas situated in front of it. There was another hallway on one side of the fireplace that led to a modest kitchen and on the other side of the fireplace was a staircase leading to the floor above. Adam turned around when he reached the center of the room and crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest.
“This talk better include an apology because she certainly deserves one after what you did last night,” Adam said with a sober face.
“It’s really none of your business,” Jack said, crossing his arms over his chest in a similar manner.
“Quite the contrary, it’s very much my business. You see, she’s my partner and more than that she’s my friend. You have no idea how hard it was for her to show up there yesterday.”
“With all due respect, you know next to nothing about the kind of history Lily and I have. So I would appreciate if you’d keep your noise out of it and let me talk to her.”
Adam studied him again and finally nodded, “Alright, I’m going to go get her. I’m warning you, Weasley, if you upset her you’ve got me to answer to.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jack said dryly.
He watched Adam turn and head up the stairs behind him. Jack let go of the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and began to look around. The room around him was decorated plainly. There were several books on the coffee table that sat in front of the L-shaped couch. Several muggle pictures rested on the end tables and he walked over to get a better look. One photo was of Lily leaning over the rail of a boat. She was wearing a wind jacket with her hair pulled back in a ponytail at the base of her neck. The wind blew several of her curls back onto her face and she squinted in the sunlight. Another picture was of Adam and Lily at what looked to be a Christmas party. They were standing in front of a large light up tree. Adam was standing behind her with on of his hands resting on her hip.
The next photograph was kind of a shock. He picked it up to get a better look and blinked just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. It was a close up shot of him and Lily taken the Christmas of their last year at school. He was sitting in the overstuffed armchair in his parent’s house. She was sitting on his lap with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as they both smiled widely at the camera.
“It’s a magical photo but I froze it so it wouldn’t move,” a voice said unexpectedly from a few feet away.
Jack looked up sharply to see Lily standing there wearing an open green robe with a black t-shirt and black sweat pants on underneath. She had socks on her feet and her hair was up in a messy bun. Her hands were stuffed into the pockets of the robe and the expression on her face was one of guarded curiosity.
“I’m surprised you kept it. Let alone put it on display,” Jack said, putting the picture back in its place.
“I’m not the one who wanted to forget, Jack. That was you,” she said frankly.
Behind her, Jack saw Adam come down the stairs wearing work-out clothes.
He came into the living room and stood next to Lily. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he said leaning forward and pecking her on the cheek. “Will you be alright?”
Jack saw Lily’s face grow red. She turned to look at him warningly, “I swear if you don’t stop fussing I’ll-”
Adam threw his hands up in surrender, “Okay, I get it. You’re fine and you don’t need my help. I’ll see you later.”
“Have a good run,” she called to him as he jugged past Jack towards the door.
“I will,” Adam called over his shoulder.
The sounds of the street filled the room for a second as the door opened and then shut.
“Can I get you anything, Jack?” Lily offered.
“Some coffee maybe?”
She nodded and turned around to head towards the kitchen. Jack followed her cautiously. The kitchen was small but full of every electronic device a muggle would need to cook anything they wanted. There was a breakfast nook with a round table that had a cushioned bench that curved around the window behind it. Jack sat down at the table and watched her move about the kitchen in silence.
“Sorry this will take a moment,” she said with her back turned. “I’m not supposed to do any magic so I’ll have to do it the muggle way.”
“It’s alright,” Jack said quietly. He watched her set up the coffee maker and waited for her to come over and sit down across from him. She leaned back against the cushion and crossed her arms defensively over her chest.
“You have to be the last person I expected to show up at my door this morning,” she said looking him directly in the eye.
He sighed and decided it was time to bite the bullet. “I…I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday. I was out of line.”
She was silent for a second, as if considering his apology before she declared, “That was good, Jack. I almost believed you.”
Jack laughed viciously and shook his head. “I knew you were going to make this difficult. I wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble I did trying to find out where you were living if I really wasn’t sorry.”
Lily raised an eyebrow. “If you’d read my letters you would have known where I lived.”
“You wrote to me and told me where you were staying?” Jack asked with disbelief.
“Yes, and I wrote to you before I went on every mission. I told you where I’d be and what I’d be doing,” she told him flatly.
Jack was confused, “Isn’t that against department regulations?”
“Strictly speaking it is,” she said dismissively. “But I told you because I trusted you. I knew if something happened to me I wanted someone to know what was going on. But more than that I always held out hope that one day you’d come ‘round and stop hating me.”
“I don’t hate you, Lily,” Jack said with absolute sincerity. “There are very few people in this world who I hate and you are not one of them.”
She looked down at her lap where her hands now rested. “Did you read any of them?”
Jack, who was distracted by how completely sad she looked, completely forgot what they were talking about. “Read what?”
“The letters,” she said raising her eyes back to his. “Did you ever read any of them?”
This time it was him that looked away. “No.”
“What did you do with the ones you didn’t send back? I know some of them were missing.”
“I threw most of them away,” he said truthfully. He watched her close her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled a bit. “I really am sorry about last night, Lily. I didn’t mean the things I said,” he said, deciding to change the subject.
Her eyes snapped open and once again she appeared completely resilient and strong. “Don’t think for one second that anything you said to me I hadn’t already considered myself. You may not have meant to say the things you said, but you said them to accomplish something.”
“Really?” He asked with fake curiosity. “And what exactly did I mean to do, Lily? Please enlighten me.”
“You meant to hurt me. You forget, Jack, I know you better than anyone.”
“How can you be so sure? I’ve changed a lot over the past four years. You said so yourself. I’m not the guy you used to love.”
“You’re right,” she said bluntly. “The Jack Weasley I love would never do things out of spite. He’d never ever intentionally try to hurt anyone. I don’t know you as well as I once did, but somewhere deep down the Jack I love is still there.”
“If you love me so much, then why didn’t you come home?” He asked, finally arriving on the one thing he’d been dying to know.
She got up from the table and poured Jack his cup of coffee. He watched her walk back and set the cup in front of him. She sat back down and rested her hands on the table. “Before I answer that, I need you to answer something for me.”
“What?” He asked when she paused long enough to suggest that she wasn’t going to speak unless she knew she had his full attention.
“Do you still love me?” She asked in a soft vulnerable voice.
He considered his answer. Did he still love her? Was she still the girl he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with? He looked away from her and shook his head. “No, I don’t,” he answered solemnly. “How could I love you? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
“You don’t have to know someone to love them, Jack. I loved you the moment I saw you,” she said with a hint of sadness. “So, to answer your question, yes I do still love you and that’s exactly why I didn’t come back.”
“You call that an answer? That makes no sense!” He shouted in frustration. “If you love me then why not be with me?”
She turned her head to the side and looked at him curiously. “I knew you didn’t love me anymore. I knew that it was over and that’s what was so hard. I still loved you and I knew I’d never be able to move on if I was around you.”
“Then why all the letters in the first place? Did you have a lot of free time on your hands?”
“I wanted my best friend back!” Lily said exasperated. “I’ve always been your friend, Jack. I didn’t know how not to be. I missed talking to you everyday and when I wrote you letters it was easy to pretend that you didn’t hate my guts.”
He let go of the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and listened as Lily went on. “I left England because I needed to find happiness for myself. I needed to know that I could make myself happy on my own and hopefully that would help me be able to make you happier as well. I wanted to come back to you a better person than when I left. I really thought deep down that you would understand. I hoped that what you said to me that morning I left wasn’t real. I hoped that you would wait for me, even though I asked you not to.”
“Well, I’m glad I didn’t wait. I’d have been lonely for a very long time,” Jack said hurtfully.
“If I had any idea that you still cared for me, I would have come home six months after I first left,” Lily said without batting an eye. “I knew you didn’t love me anymore and I stayed away because of you. Without you, what was there to come home to?”
Jack faltered when he saw the look on her face. He had always been afraid that he was the reason she didn’t return. Now he knew that fear was a reality. He cleared his throat and countered, “What about your family? Why not come home for them?”
“They don’t need me, Jack.”
“Of course they do. Your father--”
“My father is happily married with the family he’s always wanted,” she interrupted loudly. “I’m the reason he and Ginny didn’t get together sooner. Had my mother not gotten pregnant with me he would have gone home to England and they would have been together again.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. Don’t you get it?” She asked bitterly. “I’m the piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit. They’re happier without me. So are you. And I love you enough to be happy that you’re happy. That’s enough for me.”
Jack could have smacked himself upside the head. Again, he’d gone and told her the exact thing she feared the most. Last night he told her she was a burden. There was no taking it back. It was already out there. Now he just had to deal with the consequences.
“Lily, he loves you. They all do. Ginny and the boys. My parents and my brothers and sister. They all love you. Hell, Anna Maria has only seen you once and she loves you. Aren’t they enough?”
“Jack, just let it go, okay? I’ve never been the family type. I don’t fit in to that life.”
“You used to,” he argued. “There was a time when you fit into my family perfectly.”
“I fit in with you perfectly.” Her eyes bore into his so deep he was sure she could see all the things he was so desperately trying to hide from her. “We were perfect weren’t we? I mean, even you have to admit that it wasn’t all bad. There are times when I regret walking away from that. But we both know I wasn’t going to survive much longer the way things were. I needed to be on my own for a while. Now I guess that’s just where I belong.”
“You don’t belong alone, Lily. Everyone deserves to have someone.”
She shook her head, “No, not me. I didn’t deserve you. That’s why I left. I left to make myself worthy, or to at least see if I could be worthy. Guess now I have my answer.”
“Did I make you feel so unworthy?” He asked fearfully.
“No, it was something I knew deep down.”
“If I ask you something, would you tell me the honest to God truth?”
“I’ve never lied to you, Jack.”
Jack studied her carefully as he asked, “If I had read your letters and asked you to come back, would you have?”
“I had been here for about eight months when I wrote you a letter saying I was ready to come home. I missed you terribly and all you had to do was ask. So, yes, I would have come home if you’d asked me to.”
Jack leaned his head back against the wall behind him and closed his eyes. Eight months after she left he was positively dying to see her again. He just didn’t think he had the right to ask anymore. If he had only known it would have been so easy. Merlin, he was truly the world’s biggest prat. She would probably still be his if he’d only trusted her enough to go off for a while and then return when she was ready.
He opened his eyes and lifted his head. “I guess it’s too late now,” he said slowly. It was too late. He’d moved on. Right?
Lily nodded and wiped the tears that had fallen silently from her eyes while his were closed. He fought the urge to lean over the table and wipe them away himself. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Jack swallowed and nodded, not really trusting himself to say anything in return.
“I…um…understand that you don’t want to be my friend. But I would really appreciate it if we could at least pretend to be able to stand each other when I do come home.”
“You come home more often, Lily, and I promise to leave you alone,” Jack said without thinking. He saw the look on her face drop a little with his promise and he opened his mouth to take it back before she spoke over him.
“Thanks.”
“Since you’re not going to be working for a few weeks why don’t you come home and spend some time with your family.”
“I don’t know,” Lily said uncertainly. “School’s about to start.”
“Not for a couple of weeks.”
“Maybe,” she conceded. I’ll think about it. I won’t be allowed to travel for a few days anyway.”
“I’m sorry I upset you,” he said holding on to her when she tried to back away.
“You didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. I shouldn’t have--”
“It isn’t your job to save me, Jack.”
He had the sinking feeling that she’d said that to him once before. “It used to be,” he replied trying to catch her eye.
“Well, not anymore. Please, just go. Go home.”
“Let me put you to bed,” he offered. “I can tell you’re about to fall over.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and let out a sigh in frustration. “This is your problem Lily; you don’t know when to let those who care about you help you.”
“You don’t care about me, remember,” she said finally looking up at him. “Please go.”
He slowly backed away. “Alright, I’ll…just show myself out,” he said, conceding defeat. He watched her nod before turning his back on her and leaving the kitchen.
“Jack,” she called out. He turned around and looked at her expectantly. She pulled the sides of her robe closed and took a few steps towards him. “Look, I really am glad you’ve found someone in Allie. She seems like a nice girl.”
“She is,” Jack nodded.
Lily continued walking towards him until she was standing right in front of him. Again, her stance was proud and confident. She looked up at him with those big green eyes and he knew she meant business.
“I’m happy here, Jack. I know that right now in my life this is where I’m supposed to be. I don’t regret leaving England and coming here. I needed this. I do regret that coming here killed everything I had but I can’t say I take the total blame for that. You may not want to admit it but you weren’t happy with me there in the end. I know it doesn’t really matter now. There’s nothing we can do to change what’s happened. I don’t hold any ill will towards you. I do love you, Jack. I want you to know that I will always be there if you ever change your mind and want to try to be friends again. If you ever need me, all you have to do is ask.”
Jack again remained silent. He didn’t quite know what to say. It was a strange thing to know that she was happy without him. And she was happy. He could tell just by looking at her. She may not be in all that great of a mood right now because of the discussion they’d just had, but he’d seen her the other night. She was happier than he’d ever seen her.
When he didn’t respond after several seconds she walked around him and up the stairs leaving him standing there somewhat stunned.
Adam Wright jogged up the stairs of his home in Chicago taking them two at a time. He’d been gone for about three hours. He ran downtown and did a few things before running back. He hoped that he’d given Lily enough time to deal with her unexpected visitor. Entering the house, he looked around the living room and found it empty. The whole house was completely silent. Maybe she was asleep?
He went up to the second floor of their small house and walked down the hallway. The house had come with four bedrooms on the second floor, two of which they’d turned into offices. He found Lily’s room, which was the last door on the right hand side, open. He stepped inside cautiously, not wanting to wake her if she was asleep. He found her curled into a ball on her side facing the door. Her robe was wrapped tightly around her and her face was blotchy as if she’d been crying. Adam knew that was saying something. Lily never cried, at least never in front of him.
“Are you alright?” He asked tentatively.
“Yeah, I’m fine. A little more tired than I thought,” she said weakly.
Adam studied her mannerism and put together the pieces. “I’ll kill him,” he said in a tone that clearly showed that he meant business. He looked around as if to find Jack hiding somewhere.
“No, it’s not him. It doesn’t matter,” she said shaking her head.
Adam sighed, “Do you want some company at least?”
“I’d love some,” she said with the ghost of a smile on her face. Adam sat down on the bed next to her and leaned his back up against the headboard. He stretched his legs out in front of him and folded his arms behind his neck.
“What did he have to say,” Adam asked after a moment’s silence.
“He’s sorry about what he said yesterday. He says he didn’t mean it.”
“And you don’t believe him?”
“I believe that he’s hurt by what I did and he wants to punish me for it.”
Adam looked down at her and found her staring off into space.
“You still love him, don’t you?”
“I’ll always love him.”
“Lily, I hate to see you punish yourself because you think we can’t find someone to love you like he use to. If he really loved you he would understand. He would have answered your letters.”
“Jack’s hard to replace.”
“You could at least give it half an effort.”
“Like you’ve tried to replace Katy,” Lily said looking up at him.
“That’s different,” Adam said shifting awkwardly.
“Just because Jack is still alive doesn’t mean it’s any harder to get over it. It’s been four years and I know I’ll never replace him. I can live with that.”
“What a pair we make,” Adam said laughing.
“Yeah,” Lily said with half a laugh.
Adam laughed as well and slid down on the bed. “Come here,” he instructed, opening his arms invitingly. She moved over to him without question and in minutes the both of them fell into dreamless sleep.
Chapter 3: Chapter Three: Traveling Memories
Author's Notes: Here's the next chapter!
Chapter Three: Traveling Memories
“Hey, Jack,” Ron said, walking into the Qudditch supply room at Hogwarts. He’d been walking around the grounds and something told him that Jack might be checking on the supplies for the coming term.
“Hey Dad,” Jack said looking over his shoulder and then turning back around to count the number of Ravenclaw team jerseys there were.
“Did you and Allie have fun the other night at the theater?” Ron asked, taking a seat at the stool that stood in front of the tall desk along the wall.
“We didn’t go,” Jack told him, not turning around.
“Why not?”
“Something came up.”
“Are you excited for the new term?” Ron asked changing the subject.
Jack finally turned around and looked at his father. He studied him for a second before he put down the clipboard that was in his hands and walking to lean against the desk in front of his father. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked straight ahead.
“Dad, I need to ask you something.”
“Alright,” Ron said uncertainly. “What is it?”
“Why don’t you like Allie?”
“I like Allie,” Ron said quickly.
Jack turned to face him, “No, you don’t. I know you don’t. I’m not upset. I just want to know why.”
“Jack, it’s not that I don’t like Allie. She’s a nice girl. She’s young and smart and pretty and polite. I’m just not all that sure if I like you and Allie.”
Jack thought for a moment before shaking his head, “That makes no sense! Will you please just come out and say what you mean?”
“I don’t think you and Allie are good together.”
“Why exactly?”
Ron struggled with how to tell him this. “Well…it’s just that…You see the thing is that…”
“The thing is that she’s not Lily,” Jack concluded slowly.
“I didn’t say that,” Ron said so quickly Jack almost didn’t hear him.
“No, you didn’t,” Jack admitted. “I did.”
“I…but you…” Ron sighed and looked at Jack intently. “I don’t get it, Jack. What do you want me to say?”
“I just needed to know that someone else sees what I see.”
“Okay.”
“I went to see Lily yesterday.”
“Really? You went to see her on your own without being told to?”
“Yep, I wanted to apologize. I said some pretty mean things to her at Dominique’s party and I wanted her to know that I didn’t mean what I said.”
“Did you two get the chance to talk?” Ron wondered, clearly more relaxed with this turn in their conversation.
“Yeah, we talked alright. We argued some. You know, it was great,” Jack said sarcastically. “I’ve spent so much time over the last four years telling myself not to care about her. Telling myself that she left me and that she threw away everything that we had. But I think I’m caving.”
Ron nodded in understanding. “Did she ask you if you still care for her?”
“Yes, she asked me if I still love her.”
“And what did you say?”
Jack looked down at the dusty floor below their feet. “I told her that I didn’t love her. That I don’t know her anymore.”
“And is that the truth?” Ron asked intently. “Is that the truth or were you just protecting yourself?”
“I don’t know anymore. She makes me feel…Merlin, Dad, she makes me feel like I’m sixteen years old. She looks at me with those eyes and all I can see is how much she loves me. But if she loves me so much than why did she have to leave? She wants me to understand by I don’t know if I can.”
“You’ll never know until you try.”
“And what about Allie? She’s a great girl and I do like her a lot.”
“Yes, but you don’t love her the way you loved Lily,” Ron pointed out.
“No, I don’t.” He didn’t even need to think about it. There was just no way what he felt for her was even on the same level as what he felt for Lily.
“And don’t you think she deserves someone who loves her as much as you love Lily.”
“She deserves to love someone as much as I use to love Lily. I have to get to know Lily again before I can experience those feelings again.”
“I think you owe it to Allie to tell her the truth.”
“And then what? I still have the same problem. Lily is in the US and I’m here.”
Ron thought for a moment. “So ask her to come home.”
“I…she won’t…” Jack stuttered. Deep down he knew she would. He recalled their conversation earlier.
“You’ll never know until you try,” Ron repeated. He waited for his words to sink in before standing up from the bench, patting his son on the shoulder, and leaving him to figure things out on his own.
Harry Potter sat at his desk working on some lesson plans for the coming term when a streak of white came flying through the open window in his office. He looked up and saw his daughter’s owl, Flash, perched on the end of his desk with a letter in his beck.
“Hey there,” Harry greeted. He reached forward and stroked the feathers on Flash’s proud chest. “How’s she doing?” he asked the bird as if they could have a detailed
conversation on the subject. Flash seemed to understand and he ruffled his feathers in an irritated manor. “That bad, huh?” Harry said, understanding what Flash was trying to say. “I’m glad someone tells me the truth.”
“Who are you talking to?” Ginny asked, walking into the office with a basket full of clean clothes.
“Flash dropped by to deliver a letter from Lily,” Harry said reaching forward and taking the letter from the owl’s beak.
Ginny set the basket down and went to pet Flash on the head gently. “Hedwig is downstairs if you want to go have a treat. I’m sure he’ll want to send the reply with her since she doesn’t get out all that much.”
Flash hooted in understanding and took flight out the door and down the stairs. Ginny sat down in the chair in front of her husband’s desk and watched him.
Harry leaned back in his chair and took the parchment out from the envelope. He held the letter up and began to read.
Dear Dad,
I know you’re probably wondering why I’m actually taking the time to write and not just call you. I thought I’d slip back into some of my old ways and give this a try.
I’m writing to tell you that everything is alright. I know Adam and I had to leave kind of abruptly at the party. The lead on Malfoy turned out to be less than accurate and it got a bit heated there for a moment. But don’t worry, we’re both fine. I got hit with a curse and I’m supposed to take it easy for a little while. Adam isn’t working either. I thought maybe if you guys didn’t have any other plans that I could come home and spend some time with you. I’m not allowed to travel yet so I probably won’t be able to make it there for a day or so. Let me know what your plans are.
With Love,
Lily
Harry put the letter down and folded his arms across his chest. His brow was creased and he looked deeply concerned.
“Is she alright?” Ginny asked after he remained silent for a moment.
“No, she got hit by some curse the night she left Dominique’s party early.”
Ginny’s hand came up to cover her heart. “Oh Merlin, is she in the hospital? Do we need to go over there?”
“No, Gin, she says she’s at home and that she’s fine. She’s just on magic restriction. Here, read it yourself,” Harry offered, handing her the note. He leaned back in his chair and watched his wife read.
“She didn’t say anything about Jack coming to see her,” Ginny said, looking down at her step-daughter’s handwriting.
“I didn’t know he went to see her,” Harry commented, sitting up straighter.
Ginny looked up from the parchment apologetically. “I know, love. I forgot to tell you. Jack stopped by here the day after the party looking for Lily. I told him that she had gone home and he asked if we knew where she lived. I told him no and he left. Ron sent me a letter this morning saying that something was up with Jack. He didn’t seem himself.”
“Jack hasn’t been himself in a long time,” Harry said under his breath.
Ginny looked over at him disapprovingly but finally conceded, “No, I guess not.”
“She doesn’t seem upset, does she?” he asked, gesturing towards the note.
“No, but Lily’s good at hiding things,” she concluded. “And even so, she’s not as emotional as she used to be.”
“That is true. Guess I’m not the only one who noticed.”
When she was done examining the letter, Ginny gave the letter back to Harry and stood up. “When they release her you’d better not let her travel alone,” she said as she picked up the basket and left the room.
Harry sighed and picked up his quill and some parchment.
Lily woke up that morning to find her father’s faithful owl Hedwig perched on her nightstand holding a letter in its beak. She sat up in bed slowly and took the letter. Hedwig rested on her leg while she read the short note.
Dear Lily,
Are you sure you’re alright? I really wish you had written sooner. Honey, if something happens to you then you need to call me. You may be an ocean away but you’re still my daughter and I worry about you. If you’re not well enough to travel right away then it has to be more serious than you’re letting on. When they do release you to come home I want you to call me or write me and I will come and get you. I know you don’t like to be treated like a child, but you’ve got to remember that even though you are an adult you will always be my child. I love you, Lily. I want what’s best for you.
Now, I want you to write me back the very instant you get this letter and tell me what happened. I’m asking Flash to wait for your reply.
Love,
Dad
She couldn’t help chuckling as she read her father’s words. As much as she hated to admit it, it was always nice when her dad showed concern. It was good to be reminded that people cared about her every once in a while. She looked over at Hedwig who was staring at her expectantly and decided it would probably be a good idea to write a response quickly. She summoned a pen and paper and began to write.
Dear Dad,
You really are a nightmare sometimes, you know that? It really wasn’t anything big. I just got hit by a severing curse in the crossfire and since I’ve been kind of run-down lately it took a toll on my magical reserves. I’m a little bit tired and weak but that should go away in a few weeks and I can come back to work. I’m going to see the healer this afternoon and maybe he’ll release me for travel then.
Adam has been taking real good care of me. He’s not been working and he spends a lot of the day at home playing card games with me. I hope you like him. He’s proven to be a fantastic coworker and partner. But more importantly he’s been a really good friend. He’s been there for me whenever I need him. He has no family and he only keeps in touch with a few of his old friends. I feel sorry for him. I hope you didn’t mind that I brought him home with me. I just couldn’t leave him behind.
Is it alright with Ginny if I stay with you guys for a while? I was thinking that I’d spend some time with the boys until you go back to school in September.
With love,
Lily
It was mid-afternoon by the time Lily got back from the healer. He said she would be alright to travel but that she should take it easy still for the next few days. She and Adam walked through the front door and found Hedwig sitting on the back of their couch with a letter.
“Lots of owls lately,” Adam commented as he sat down to take off his shoes.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told them I was hurt,” Lily said, sighing.
“Now that would have been dumb,” Adam said, laughing as he leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head.
She walked over to Hedwig and took the letter. She was somewhat thrown when she saw handwriting that clearly didn’t belong to her father.
Dear Lily,
Your father let me read your last couple letters and asked me to write you back. He’s playing with the boys right now. Well, he’s not really playing. He’s trying to give them a bath. They think they’re playing. Anyway, your father and I have decided that we’re going to come pick you up this evening (in your time zone, of course). The boys are going to be spending the weekend with Ron and Hermione so the house will be very quiet for you to relax and get some rest. They’re really looking forward to spending some time with their big sister. We were also hoping that you’d ask Adam to come spend a few weeks with us. If he’s not working it would be nice to have a guest in the house. We look forward to seeing you later. Take care, sweetheart.
Love,
Mum
Adam watched his partner read the letter and didn’t speak again until she was finished. “What did they say?”
“They’ve invited you to come too,” Lily said, taking a seat on the couch which was across the room from the chair he was sitting in.
“I don’t know, Lil,” he said uncertainly. “I’m not a family guy. You know that.”
“Well I’m not exactly a family girl,” Lily said, looking down at the letter.
“Sure you are,” Adam said laughing. “I saw you with your brother’s and your godparent’s kids. I could see you happily married with a house full of kids just as easily as I see you sitting there now.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” Adam said, now leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. “You’re going to make some man really happy one day. That is if you give any of them a fighting chance.”
“What’s that suppose to mean?” Lily asked innocently.
“Oh come on, I’ve seen you get ready for dates. It’s like your preparing to go out into battle. You’re serious and to the point and guarded.”
“Like you’re much better,” Lily accused. “You just don’t go out.”
“I guess you’ve got me there.”
“Come on, Wright, come home with me. It might even be fun. My family isn’t
that bad are they?”
“No, they’re nice from what I saw,” Adam admitted.
“Please, I’ll need someone there who isn’t going to attack me for being away so much. I’ll need a protector,” Lily said in a pleading voice, giving him puppy eyes.
“You’ve never needed a protector,” Adam pointed out, laughing.
“Not as long as you’ve known me,” Lily said seriously. “That’s why I came here, so I could protect myself. But now I’m going home and I need you!”
“Alright, alright,” Adam conceded. “I’ll go.”
Lily jumped up off the couch and did a small victory dance. Adam smiled and
watched her fondly. He loved it when she was like this. Carefree and happy. He was glad he could put a smile on her face from time to time.
“Okay, Potter, but you stay down here while I pack a few bags for us. The healer said rest and that is what you’re going to do.”
Lily stopped dancing and folded her arms across her chest. “That’s what he said but what he meant was-”
Adam held his hand up to stop her, “I don’t care what you think he meant. I heard him. So sit down and…read a book or something.” Adam stood up, walked over to her, and pecked her on the forehead before bounding up the stairs to pack their things.
“Prat!” Lily called after him.
“Tart!” Jack replied from the floor above.
Lily smiled and plopped down onto the couch again. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Harry and Ginny made their way down the crowded Chicago street hand in hand, following the instructions they had received from the American Auror Department only an hour before.
“This is definitely different,” Ginny mused as she looked around.
Harry smiled down at her and pulled her hand up to kiss the back of it. “Yes it is, love.”
“How do you suppose she likes living with all these Muggles?”
“She seems to,” Harry said vaguely. He looked off into the distance and Ginny watched his facial expression change dramatically. His eyes squinted and his brow wrinkled.
Ginny squeezed his hand, “Hey, what’s up? What’s that look for?”
“I was just thinking that this is what she choose…This…over her family,” Harry said sadly. “Somehow I expected something different.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know really,” Harry admitted. “Just something better than this.”
“Don’t push her, Harry,” Ginny warned. “She’ll come home when she’s ready. Just like you did.”
“I know, it’s just that…I left to protect something. I left to protect Lily. What reason did she have to leave? Who was she protecting?”
Ginny looked up at him and after a moment said softly, “Herself.”
Harry nodded and they walked the rest of the way in silence. They found the house without problem. They walked up the stairs together and Harry continued to hold tight to Ginny’s hand as he raised his other fist and knocked on the door. In seconds they heard loud footsteps and soon they were face to face with Adam Wright.
“Hey Harry,” Adam said, reaching out his hand.
Harry shook his hand and smiled. “How are you, Adam?”
“Great,” Adam answered. “How are you, Mrs. Potter?”
Ginny waved her hand, “Call me Ginny, and I’m fine.”
“Was the trip too much trouble? Did you find the house alright?” Adam asked as he gestured for them to come inside.
“Oh yeah,” Harry assured.
“Thank you very much for inviting me over, it really wasn’t necessary. Lily worries too much about me being alone.”
“We’re looking forward to having you,” Ginny said warmly. “Our boys will enjoy having a high and mighty auror in the house.”
Adam chuckled.
“It’s really no trouble at all, son,” Harry confirmed. “Are you two ready to go?”
“I am, I don’t know about Lily,” Adam said. He walked into the living room and Harry and Ginny followed. “I’m going to go check on her. Make yourselves comfortable.”
Harry walked around the room, inspecting various items while Ginny took a seat in one of the small sofas by the fireplace.
“This is nice,” she said, looking around. “Look Harry, she put up that picture you sent her last Christmas.”
Harry walked over to where the picture hung on the wall. It was a snapshot of Ginny and the boys that he had taken on Christmas morning of last year. He was glad that she’d thought to hang it up but couldn’t help but feel that she should have been in that picture as well. He forgot what she had been doing at the time, but whatever it was prevented her from coming home for the holidays…again.
“I hope she’ll be able to spend Christmas with us this year,” Harry said after looking at the picture. “I’ve only got to spend one real Christmas with her before she left.”
Ginny smiled at the memory. “That was a beautiful day, wasn’t it? Everyone was so happy. That was the day after you proposed to me.”
“Yes it was,” Harry said, walking back to her and sitting down. He wrapped an am around her shoulders and pulled her close. In many ways that day felt like it was only yesterday…
He remembered watching Lily and Jack snuggle together on the couch. She looked so happy sitting there as she leaned her head on his shoulder and pulled her legs over his lap. They were so comfortable and in love.
"Jack, do you love Lily?" Joe asked from the floor eyeing his older brother and smiling devilishly.
Everyone laughed at the naïve little boy's question. Jack put an arm around Lily's shoulders pulling her closer, "Of course I love Lily! Don't you love Lily?"
"Yes, she’s the only sister I have," he said looking over at his mother who put a hand over her mouth and fought back tears.
"So you think we should keep her then," Jack said, laughing still.
"Always and always," Joe said holding his arms out wide as if to embrace the thought.
"Well, looks like you're stuck with us now, Potter," Jack said playfully as he gazed down at her smiling face.
“Dad!”
It was the sound of Lily’s voice here in the present that brought him back from the past. Harry looked up and into the smiling eyes of his oldest child. He stood up from the couch and went over to give her a hug.
“How are you, sweetheart? Feeling better? What did the healer say?”
Lily rolled her eyes at all her father’s rambling questions but decided to humor him. “I’m fine. The healer says to take it easy for a while but I should be back to normal in a few days.”
“A week, love,” Adam called from upstairs. “He said probably in a week you should have your strength back.”
“I’m glad someone pays attention,” Harry said with a raised eyebrow.
“Okay, a week,” Lily confessed. “But I don’t want to be fussed over, alright?”
“No promises,” Harry said, kissing her on the forehead.
Adam came down the stairs a moment later. He had two duffle bags swung over his shoulder. “I think we’re ready,” he said once he reached the bottom. Harry took one of the bags from him as they made their way to the door. Adam walked with Lily in front and they both turned around just before Adam opened the door.
“The people here obviously don’t know us by our real names. They think we’re a married couple working outside the city. So if someone calls us strange names you’ll know why. If someone talks to you try to hide your accent.”
Ginny and Harry both nodded and Adam opened the door. Once he and Lily were outside he reached out to her and took her hand. Lily looked back at her parents and smiled.
“I’m looking forward to spending time at home. I miss it.”
Harry nodded and she turned back around. Ginny took his hand as well and squeezed it. “I told you,” she said in a low voice. Harry nodded and they walked down the steps together.
“Hey Sam,” Adam called out to the next door neighbor who was outside watering his lawn.
“Hey Martin, where are you two kids off to?” the man replied with a smile.
“We’re going to stay for a few weeks with Melinda’s parents,” Adam answered.
“Now that sounds nice,” Sam said putting his hands on his hips. “I’ll keep an eye on the house while you’re away.”
“Thanks,” Lily and Adam chorused.
“You know I bet my kids would like some playmates,” Sam said with a smirk. “When are you two starting a family? You’ve been married for five years, most folks
don’t wait half that long.”
Harry watched Adam wrap and arm around Lily’s shoulders. Lily turned her face up towards him just as he leaned down to kiss her briefly on the mouth.
“We’ll see,” Lily called when Adam pulled away.
Sam laughed, “Alright then, you have a nice trip.”
“Thanks, we will,” Lily and Adam said again in unison.
Harry noticed that Adam never released Lily’s hand even after they were more than half way down the street. He held it tightly all the way to their apparation point. He
also couldn’t help but notice the way Adam looked at her. He clearly respected her and thought the world of her.
Harry couldn’t help but feel disappointed. It wasn’t that Adam was a bad guy. On the contrary he was a great guy who clearly took care of Lily and was there when she needed him. It just wasn’t the way he thought things would turn out…
Jack Weasley came home to Hogwarts completely exhausted. He and some of his friends had spent the afternoon playing Quidditch out on the pitch and he could barely keep his eyes open. It was nearly midnight and he looked forward to sleeping in the next morning. He and Allie had plans to go to Dylan’s bar tomorrow night and he wanted to rest up. He undressed quickly then fell into bed, and was asleep the second his head hit the pillow.
Jack woke up with his arm wrapped around his wife’s waist. He blinked against the bright rays of sunshine coming through the window right in front of him. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to the side of Lily’s neck and he felt her move slightly in response.
“Morning, love,” he said with a smile. He moved his hand over her swollen belly and felt movement.
Lily rolled onto her back and looked up at him through sleepy eyes. “He’s been awake for most of the night,” she said groggily. “I hardly got any sleep.”
Jack slid down in bed until his head hovered over her tummy, “Now listen up in there. You’ve got to stop moving around so much so your Mum can get some sleep every now and then. It’s not nice to keep her up every night. I know she’s the most beautiful woman on Earth but all women need their beauty sleep.”
Lily laughed and brought her hand to her husband’s face. Brushing her hand over his scruffy chin, she advanced up to lovingly brush some of the brown curls off his face. “You’re cute when you do that,” she said, looking at him with admiration in her eyes.
Jack slid back up to her and placed a slow kiss on her lips. She kissed him back and cupped the side of his face in her palm. He felt her smile against his lips and pulled away.
“What’s so funny, Mrs. Weasley?” he asked playfully.
“That’s just what got me in this position in the first place,” she said running and hand over her stomach. “You waking me up like that.”
“Well, look at the bright side, love,” he said, drawing imaginary circles over the shirt that barely covered her seven month pregnant stomach, “I can’t do it to you again for a few more months. Seeing as how this one isn’t ready to join us quite yet.”
“Oh really?” Lily said laughing. “You’ll give me a break then? A little time to rest before the next one?”
“Yeah,” Jack shrugged, “A few months maybe.”
“Oh, how nice of you! You only gave me five months between the first one and this little guy.”
“What can I say,” Jack said, meeting her gaze, “you were born to be a mother. And I’ll admit I can’t keep my hands off you.”
Lily pulled him back down to her and kissed him again this time longer and harder than before. Jack’s hand was just finding the edge of her shirt when a not so distant cry of an infant interrupted the moment. Jack groaned and buried his head in his wife’s shoulder.
Lily laughed and turned her head to kiss his temple. “Someone wants our attention,” she said into his hair. Her fingers worked their way into the brown curls on his head and massaged his scalp.
Jack moaned again, “He’s got the world’s worst timing,” he muttered without any further movement or intention of getting up.
“I’ll go if you want me to,” Lily offered.
Jack shook his head and immediately got up, “No, I think you to stay in bed if you didn’t get any sleep. I’ll make breakfast and you can come down after you get a few good hours a sleep.”
Lily yawned and shook her head. “I’m fine, I’m not tired.”
“Yes you are, love,” Jack told her. He stood on the side of the bed and looked down at her. He watched her eyes flutter for a moment and then close. Her breathing became steady and only then did he turn away.
Picking up the robe that was thrown over the foot of their king-sized bed, he whipped it around his shoulders and left the master bedroom. He turned into the first room on the right. The room was painted in blue and the name “Benjamin” was written in pale blue cursive above the crib on the other side of the room. Jack rushed over to the crib and leaned over the rail.
“Morning little guy,” he said as he looked down into the tear filled eyes of his thirteen-month-old son.
The baby reached his little arms up towards his father. Jack smiled as he picked him up and held him in his arms.
“Da!” the boy said gleefully. He leaned his head onto Jack’s shoulder and Jack ran his free hand over his son’s back. “Momma,” Benjamin said into the material of Jack’s robe.
“Mummy’s sleeping,” Jack told him. “So we’ve got to be really quiet so she and the baby can get some sleep.”
“Ba,” Benjamin said happily with a squeal.
“That’s right, little guy,” Jack confirmed. He secured Ben in his arms before he walked out of the room. He turned and looked into the master bedroom to check on Lily one last time before heading back down stairs. She was in the same position he had left her in. Her hand rested on her belly and her head turned to the side facing where he had been standing above her.
“Momma,” Ben said, softly pointing at her.
“Want to go give Momma a kiss?” Jack asked. “You have to be quiet so you don’t wake her up.”
Ben nodded eagerly and failed his arms. Jack smiled and walked over to the bed. He turned Ben around in his arms and leaned forward so the boy could place a small soft kiss on his mother’s forehead.
Jack pulled away but Ben pointed his finger at Lily’s stomach and said, “Ba.”
“Alright,” Jack said with a slight chuckle. He leaned forward again, this time over Lily’s stomach and Ben gave his unborn baby brother a kiss. “Okay, lets go make us some breakfast,” Jack said quietly as he made his way out of the room and down the hall with Benjamin smiling all the way.
Jack woke with a start. He looked around his dark bedroom at Hogwarts and tried to collect his thoughts. It had been a dream...But it seemed so real. He could still feel her in his arms. He closed his eyes again and he could still see her smiling up at him. He could still smell the child he had held in his arms.
He sat up in bed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. That was certainly the strangest dream he had ever had. Sure, he’d had dreams about Lily in the past. He even had some after she left. But this one was different. This one was so real.
Knowing he’d never get any more sleep, Jack got up from bed and went to his closet for his robe. When he opened the door, something on the top shelf caught his eye. He reached up and pulled down a dusty photograph and blew air over the glass gently until the image became visible. In the photo Jack was giving Lily a piggy back ride. They were probably about sixteen in the photo. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and every once in a while she turned her head and kissed him on the cheek. Her smile was so vibrant, so full of life.
He remembered she had given him this for his seventeenth birthday. He turned over the frame and gently removed the backing that held the photo in place. Walking back to his bed he sat down and took out the folded up bit of parchment that rested in between the photo and the cardboard backing. Her handwriting was hard to read with only the faint moonlight coming through the window, but he could just make it out.
Jack,
Happy birthday, love! I give you this photo in hopes that we will share many more happy moments like this together. You are my rock, my inspiration, and the love of my life. Everything I am today, I am because of you. I consider myself to be the luckiest girl in the world with you in my corner. I could never ask for a better guy to love me, nor a better friend. I’ll cherish moments like these for the rest of my life.
Loving you more each passing day,
Lily
Jack stared at the writing long after he was done reading it. Finally, he closed his eyes and after a while, looked around the room. The dream had brought old feelings to the surface, feelings he had fought so hard to keep down. He knew more than anything that he wanted that life. He wanted to be as happy as he had seen himself in that dream. He wanted to be the one to make her that happy. Even though he knew it was impossible to make that dream a reality after all the hurt they’d caused each other, he knew he’d be dreaming of a life with Lily Potter for the rest of his life.
Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Painful Reminders
Author's Notes: A/n- Sorry for the wait guys. I wish I could say the next chapter will be out sooner but I can't. It might even be longer. My life is incredibly busy right now with on sign of a break. I hope the story is worth the wait!
Chapter Four: Painful Reminders
Jack and Allie sat together in the back of the packed bar on one side of the booth. Ever since Jack’s friend Dylan had opened this place up in Hogsmeade after they graduated from Hogwarts it had become the popular hang-out for the younger crowd. The dance floor was packed full of energetic people having a good time and the bar was impossible to see through all the people. Jack could just make out the top of Dylan’s head over behind the bar.
“My parents invited you to come to Spain with us for Christmas,” Allie said casually. Their hands were joined across the table and they each had a beer in front of them.
“I don’t know, Al. My mum might go ballistic if I don’t spend Christmas at home,” Jack said reluctantly.
Allie rolled her eyes. “Jack, you’re a grown man. If you want to spend the holidays away from home then you mum shouldn’t try to stop you.”
“I know, I’ll think about it,” Jack promised. “You could always come spend the holidays with us, you know?”
“With your family?” Allie asked sarcastically. “You know they don’t like me.”
“They like you, Al,” Jack said, trying to sound convincing.
“It doesn’t bother me, Jack. They don’t have to like me. You do,” she added with a smile.
“Well then you’re in luck,” Jack said, smirking. “’Cause I happen to like you a lot.” Jack leaned forward and together they met in a chaste kiss from across the table.
They continued talking for another forty-five minutes before a hush fell over the bar and the two of them looked around to see what all the fuss was about. Jack moved from side to side trying to see through the crowd until he saw Dylan standing in the middle of the crowd holding onto some girl’s hand.
“Everyone!” Dylan called. “This here is one of my best friends and former Hogwarts classmate. She’s been away for quite a while and we’re all glad to have her home safe and sound, even if it is for a little while. So please give a big welcome home to Miss Lily Potter!”
Jack immediately turned around in his seat and lowered his head. This was quite possibly the last thing he needed. What was she doing here? Lucky for him, Jack was wearing a baseball cap that night. With his head down he could just see out of the corner of his eye Lily and several people make their way over and took seats in the booth next to Allie and Jack’s. Jack had his back to them, and after he knew they had taken their seats he raised his head and looked into his girlfriend’s eyes.
“Do you want to leave?” Allie asked apologetically.
“No, its fine,” Jack said with a sigh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lily walked back to the booth Adam and his friend had chosen. She really wished Dylan hadn’t made such a fuss but it felt good to know that at least someone was happy that she came home–besides her family, of course. Adam had gone to school in the U.S. but he still had many friends here in the UK so she wasn’t all that surprised when he asked her to go out with them for a few drinks. Connor, Mike, and Carl seemed like nice down to earth guys and Adam seemed like an altogether different person around them. At work he was serious, dependable, and mature; with his friends he was more laid back and natural. She had to say she liked this side of him.
Connor, Mike, and Carl sat down on one side of the booth leaving the other side for Lily and Adam.
“Do you guys want anything from the bar?” Lily asked before sitting down.
“Yeah, I’ll have a beer,” Connor said gratefully.
“I’ll have one too,” Mike told her.
“Me too,” shouted Carl over the raising noise in the bar.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Lily said, turning around and heading back towards the crowded bar counter.
“Where’d ya find that one, Wright?” Connor asked once Lily was gone.
“I told you, we work together,” Adam said dismissively. He’s arms were folded and resting on the table. He was wearing a t-shirt and dark jeans.
“Oh come on, Adam, she’s gorgeous. Don’t tell me you haven’t tried to move in on that,” Carl accused laughing.
“We’re friends,” Adam said, though he could hardly hold the smile off his face.
“And why the hell is that?” Mike wondered. “She’s your type.”
“Yeah, she is,” Adam admitted.
“There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with her,” Connor said suggestively.
Adam shook his head, “No, there’s nothing wrong with Lily.”
“She’s not taken is she?” Carl asked.
“No, she’s been single as long as I’ve known her,” Adam informed them. He kept his answers vague because he hoped Lily would return. Unfortunately for him, Lily seemed to be talking to her friend at the bar again and she wasn’t in much a hurry to return to their table.
“Well, if she’s single and perfect then what’s wrong with you?” Carl concluded.
Adam was growing frustrated. “Guys…it’s just complicated with Lily, alright. She and I…we…we work together. And she’s got baggage and so do I. I’m just not sure it’d be a good idea.”
Carl, Connor, and Mike exchanged looks before Mike spoke again, “What kind of baggage?”
Adam struggled with how to say this. “She was in this long-term relationship before she came to the states and it ended badly. I guess they were friends for a long time before they got together and when she left to come to the states to work with us they pretty much ended it.
“I met him this past weekend when I went to her brother’s birthday party with her. He was absolutely horrible. Frankly, I don’t understand what she sees in him but for some reason she still loves the bloke. She’s not ready to jump into another relationship with someone else. She especially not ready to jump into a relationship with me. I think she’s afraid that something would go wrong and we wouldn’t be friends.”
“Would you?” Carl asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Lily’s one of the best friends I’ve made since moving to the states. If friendship is all she wants than that’s what I’ll live with,” Adam said resolutely.
“So this guy…wasn’t very nice to her I take it?” Mike assumed.
“He was a downright bastard. He had no idea what it took for her to show up there that night. The idiot has no idea what he had.”
“But I thought you said she left him?” Carl asked, somewhat confused.
Adam leaned forward. “Lily had to leave. She needed to be on her own for a while. But I know that she would have come back within the first year if she thought she had anything to come back to.”
“It’s a shame that she’s still hung up on the guy. But it might do her to good to know that someone else is interested in what he apparently threw away,” Connor said wisely.
Adam said nothing. He nodded his head and looked back to the bar where his partner stood talking to her friend.
The conversation turned to other matters for another couple minutes until Lily returned with their drinks. She borrowed a tray from the bar in order to carry them all. Once she passed out the mugs and returned the tray she sat down next to Adam. Carl raised his glass officially.
“Alright, fellas and lady,” he said nodding to Lily.
Lily smiled back and raised her glass with the rest of them.
“Here’s to the return of an old friend and the meeting of a new one. Bottoms up!”
They all took long drinks from their frothy mugs and slammed them down on the table. The group went around the table making toasts until their glasses were empty. Mike ran off to buy the next round and it was clear that the night was far from over.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile at the table behind them, Jack and Allie had heard every bit of their conversation. Jack felt like he was going to be sick while Allie looked uncomfortable, ad neither of them said anything for at least thirty minutes after Lily and her friends sat down.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” Allie asked again.
“Yeah, I promised Dylan that I would hang out with him later. He’s got another bartender coming in at midnight so he won’t have to work the bar for the rest of the night.”
Allie looked down at her watch on her wrist. “It’s midnight now. Why don’t I just head home if you’re going to spend some time with Dylan? I’ll let you two catch up.”
“You don’t have to do that, Al! You’re welcome to stay,” Jack said sincerely.
“No, I don’t want to intrude on guy time. Just floo me tomorrow or something.”
“Alright,” Jack said as they both stood up. He kept his back to Lily’s table as they made their way to the door. He nodded at Dylan when they walked past. Once they were outside Allie turned around and gave him a light peck on the lips.
“I can walk myself home,” she said, taking a step back.
“I can take you,” Jack offered, “It would only take me a moment.”
“No, go back to Dylan and have a good time. Don’t let Lily ruin it.”
Jack nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“See you tomorrow,” Allie said, kissing him on the cheek before turning away.
Jack watched her walk several feet away and then disappear with a POP. He sighed and waited several seconds before going back into the bar. He found Dylan seated at one of the barstools and sat down next to him.
“How’s it going, mate?” Dylan greeted happily, patting him on the back.
“Pretty good, how ‘bout yourself?” Jack replied convincingly.
“Good, great,” Dylan said. He took a long gulp from the beer mug sitting in front of him and motioned for the bartender to bring Jack one as well.
“It sure is crowded in here,” Jack observed. Most of the people had moved away from the bar onto the dance floor where music played loudly and lights flashed different colors all around.
“I didn’t know she was coming,” Dylan said without warning.
“Who?” Jack asked stupidly.
Dylan gave him a sideways glance before looking straight ahead again. “You know exactly who I’m talking about. I had no idea she’d be here. I invited her to come out when I first opened the place. I had no way of knowing she’d take me up on my offer tonight of all nights.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Jack said firmly. He downed his mug of beer minutes after it was placed in front of him.
“I know it matters to you, Jack. I know it does.” Dylan watched the muscles in Jack’s jaw clench several times. His eyes were set and he looked like he was ready to explode. He shook his head as if to clear his mind and raised his arm to get the attention of the bartender.
“What can I do for ya?” The young man asked when he arrived.
“Whiskey,” Jack said harshly. Dylan shook his head as he watched his employee take out a shot glass and pour his friend a shot of the hard liquor. Jack lifted the glass and tilted his head back to down the liquid. He hissed at the harsh taste as he slammed his glass down and motioned for the bartender to pour him another.
Dylan sighed. This was definitely going to be a long night.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lily and Adam returned from the dance floor to their table at around two in the morning. She felt somewhat lightheaded from all the drinking and dancing they’d done and knew she’d have to call it a night soon. Truth be told, she had more fun tonight than she had had in quite a while. Work was such a huge part of her life that she and Adam hardly ever got the chance to go out and enjoy themselves so it was nice to get to kick back for a change.
“I guess I better get going,” Connor declared. “My wife will have my hid if I stay out any longer.”
“We better get going to. We’ve got an early day tomorrow,” Mike said for both himself and Carl. Lily had learned throughout the course of the evening that they owned a restaurant in a wizarding town just outside Somerset.
“It was nice to meet you all,” Lily said as everyone stood up. Each of them men stepped forward and gave her a warm hug.
“You’re alright, Potter,” Carl told her. “It’s good of you to loosen up old Adam here. He needs someone who can give him a run for his money.”
“I try,” Lily said with fake modesty.
“You little brat,” Adam said teasingly. He wrapped his arm around Lily’s neck and rubbed his knuckles on the top of her head. Lily elbowed him in the gut and eventually he relented and released her.
The group had just started to walk towards the door when Lily caught sight of Dylan sitting at the bar with Jack. She slowed her pace and felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of him. He was slumped over the bar with about a dozen empty shot glasses sitting in front of him. Lily’s eyes met Dylan’s and he just shook his head.
“Hey, I’ll meet you guys outside,” Lily told her friends who nodded and continued on their way. She walked over to Jack and Dylan cautiously.
“Hey, Lils,” Dylan said to her when she was close enough. The music was still playing but the crowd was considerably smaller. Most people had gone home about an hour ago.
“What’s up guys?” Lily asked, looking down at Jack who kept his eyes down on the wood surface of the bar in front of him.
“We’re just hanging out having a good time,” Dylan said sarcastically. “You looked like you were having fun tonight.”
“Yeah, it was a great time, Dylan, thanks for the invite.”
“Anytime girl,” Dylan said. He took hold of Lily’s hand and pulled her closer so he could give her a friendly kiss on the cheek. “Mind watching him? I have to go see what’s going on in the back,” he asked when they were close enough so Jack couldn’t hear him.
Lily smiled and nodded, “Sure.”
“Just, don’t give him anything else to drink. I have to take him home in a bit.”
“Okay.”
Dylan stood up and walked away from them. Lily watched him go through the small opening to get behind the bar and then disappear into the back. She looked back to Jack who still had said nothing. She took a set in the chair Dylan had just vacated and sighed.
“Where’s Allie?” Lily asked flatly.
“Sent her home,” Jack said without looking up.
“Did she know you had the intention of getting completely drunk once she was gone?”
“I don’t justify things to Allie. That’s not the way we work,” Jack told her. “And for the record,” he said, harshly looking up at her, “I am not drunk.”
“Well, you should be,” Lily said with half a laugh. “There must be over a bottle here,” she said looking at all the empty glasses.
“Don’t treat me like I’m seventeen, Lily, because I’m not.”
“Then stop acting like you’re seventeen.”
The two of them looked at each other with hard expressions, neither one wanting to back down to the other.
“You looked like you were having fun with your friends tonight,” Jack observed.
“I was,” Lily said in confirmation.
Jack looked back down at the wooden bar and spoke softly. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in years. I think I had forgotten what it looked like.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to find things to smile about,” she admitted. “But I have to admit, it’s getting easier.”
“Guess you have a point,” he shrugged.
“How long have you been seeing her?” Lily wondered suddenly.
“About a year and a half,” Jack said, casting a sidelong look her way.
“She’s good to you?”
“The best,” Jack nodded.
“And you love her?”
Jack shook his head, “I didn’t say that. It’s not like that with Allison and me. We’re still figuring things out.”
“You’ve been dating for a year and a half, Jack. You’d think you would have some idea by now,” Lily chastised.
“Why do you care?” Jack asked harshly, turning to look at her again.
“I’m just trying to make conversation.”
“Well don’t. Stay out of my life, Lily.”
“Fine,” she said softly.
Jack looked over at her. She was fidgeting with her hands in her lap and she looked somewhat nervous. He could feel the anger flow throughout his body. This was the woman who intentionally hurt him, ripped his heart out and here she was. She didn’t deserve him. She didn’t even realize what she was giving up when she left him. Suddenly he was filled with this intense need to hurt her. Hurt her the way she’d hurt him.
“Come on, Jack,” Lily said standing up. “I’ll take you home.”
“Don’t even try it, Lily. I don’t need your help,” Jack said stubbornly.
Lily took hold of his arm and tried to pull up, “Come on, don’t be stubborn.”
Jack ripped his arm out of her grasp so hard it nearly sent her flying off her feet. “I said leave me alone, Lily! I don’t need your help! I never did so get over it! You want to go off to American and slag yourself around then that’s fine. But I don’t let some strange girl take me home after a night at the bar!” He roared, causing several people in the bar to look over at them.
“That’s what I am? Some strange slag?” Lily asked angrily. He knew he struck a nerve because she always got angry when she felt threatened. “That’s what you really think?” she asked when he was silent for to long after her first two questions.
“Yeah, it is,” he said without further pause, “And you know what else?”
“Go right ahead, Jack, you seem to be on a roll,” Lily said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.
“I’m glad you left. Glad you stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life. And now I’d appreciate it if you would stay the hell out of my life. You should just go back to wherever the hell it is you came from. All you’ve ever brought me and my family is pain and it ends here and now. Stay away from us.”
Lily stared into his eyes in shock. What had happened to him? He used to be so warm and caring. Now here he was half drunk in a dark bar acting like a complete jerk. She knew if she stayed in his presence any longer she was liable to say something she might regret, so instead she said nothing. If he didn’t want her help then this would be the last time she offered it.
Jack watched her stare at him until he finally had to look away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her get up and walk but he still said nothing.
Finding her way to the door, Lily located her friends standing together in a circle in the hot summer’s night air.
“Ready?” Adam asked cautiously.
“Yeah, let’s go home,” she said with a plastered smile.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack sat at the bar for several minutes before he stood up on shaky feet and made towards the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Dylan said, coming out of no where.
“Home,” Jack told him.
“Hold on, Jack, let me go with you,” Dylan instructed as he took off his apron and walked around the bar.
“I’ll be fine,” Jack told him, already to the door. He was already walking down the street when Dylan caught up with him.
“Merlin, mate!” Dylan exclaimed, sounding out of breath. “I told you I’d be right back. I must have only been gone for ten minutes or so. Where did Lily run off to?”
“I don’t know,” Jack said, looking at the ground and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Probably off with her friends.”
“Don’t tell me you couldn’t stand to be alone with her for ten minutes so you told her off.”
Jack turned on his friends and looked at him threateningly, “Look Dylan, I don’t know what Lily’s problem is. Frankly, I don’t care.”
Dylan held up his hands in surrender. “Okay alright, I get the picture. No need to jump down my throat.”
“I’m just so sick of people asking me how Lily is and what’s up with her and why she’s upset and why she’s not around!” Jack rambled. He started pacing a few feet in front of his friend. His stance was tense and his voice somewhat angry and slurred. “She’s not in my life anymore! She doesn’t justify her actions to me anymore!”
“I know that, Jack,” Dylan said calmly.
“She’s the one that left!” Jack reminded him, pointing his finger in Dylan’s direction to emphasis his point.
“I know that, too.”
“I wanted her to stay! I begged her to stay!”
“I know you did.”
“She shouldn’t just come back here and expect me to suddenly care about her again!”
“But you do,” Dylan stated without hesitation.
“I shouldn’t have to--” Jack had continued rambling until he realized what Dylan had said. “Wait…what did you say?”
Dylan looked slightly amused when he answered. “You do still care about her. You never stopped even after she left.”
“How in the hell do you figure that, Dylan?” Jack roared, taking a menacing step towards his friend.
“Hey now, don’t get angry at me. You’ve been in love with Lily since we were eleven years old. You don’t know how not to love her.”
Jack was clearly angry and chose to think for a moment before he responded. After his pause he settled on, “Look just because everyone thought we were the perfect couple doesn’t mean we were!”
“Oh I know you two weren’t the perfect couple. But face it, mate. You’re never going to replace her.”
“Just back off, alright?!” Jack said, shoving Dylan away and turning his back to him.
“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it. She’s in love you with, Jack!”
“Well, that’s just too bloody bad because she ruined it all the day she left me standing at Hogwarts’ gates.”
Dylan took a breath and looked across the street at something. “That’s too bad, because someday you’re going to realize what you threw away. I just hope it isn’t too late.”
“I do not have feelings for her!” Jack said with force.
Dylan looked back at Jack and took a step closer. “Really, no feelings at all?”
Jack nodded his head and didn’t blink.
Dylan stared him down for a few seconds before he looked back across the street. This time Jack followed his gaze and knew immediately what he was looking at.
Lily and her friends were walking down the street in the opposite direction. They were all talking and laughing and appeared to be having a good time. Adam and Lily walked slightly behind the rest, although those in front of them would turn around occasionally to say a word or two. Lily was pointing at signs and buildings as if giving them a small tour of the village she knew so well.
Just as they were about to disappear into the darkness, Jack saw Lily pull her light jacket around her shoulders as if she were chilly. Adam noticed this too and put his arm around her to pull her closer to his side. Jack couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from her. Even after he could no longer see the group, he still gazed in that direction blankly.
“Don’t be an idiot, Jack. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you and I know you still love her just like you always have. If you ever want that happiness back…it’s now or never,” Dylan said solemnly.
Chapter 5: Chapter Five: Sunshine and Heartache
Author's Notes: Okay, Sorry for the long wait guys. There was a note about it on my profile so I won't waste anyone's time here. I hope it was worth the wait?
Chapter Five: Sunshine and Heartache
Jack and Benjamin sat by the lake at his grandparent’s house, throwing rocks into the water.
“No, Ben, you need a flatter one,” Jack told his son.
He was trying to show him how to skip rocks, but Ben kept throwing them too hard and they’d just sink to the bottom. They were spending the afternoon outside so Lily could be with his mother and grandmother to have some time away from Ben, who was beginning to really tire her out. She was just about eight months pregnant now and this pregnancy was really taking its toll. She was tired all the time and swollen all over. He thought the least he could do was get their son out of her hair so she could relax a bit.
“Dada,” Ben said, holding up a rock in his fist.
Jack took a look and smiled. “Yep, that’s it, kiddo. Now here, let me show you.” He crouched down and stood behind Ben. He took his fist and guided it back gently. Together they flicked the rock towards the water and it skipped across the surface three times before sinking into the black water. Ben jumped up and clapped his hands.
“Good one, buddy,” Jack said with a smile. He held up his hand for a high five. Ben slapped his hand and squealed.
Jack turned back to the ground looking for another rock, “Okay now let's find--”
“JACK!”
He whirled around at the frantic voice that had just shouted his name and saw his mother running towards him at top speed.
“What’s wrong?” Jack yelled back. She had stopped when she saw he had heard her call his name, so she was still quite a distance away.
“It’s Lily!” Hermione said, cupping her hands around her mouth. “You’d better come! Something’s wrong!”
“Momma!” Ben cried, already with tears in his eyes. He was at that stage where he was extremely attached to his mother. Wherever Lily went, Ben wanted to go. Sure, he loved being around his father, but in his eyes, his mother was the hero.
Jack didn’t waste a second. He scooped Benjamin up in his arms and sprinted towards the house. He reached his mother and noted her pale face and worried expression.
“Where?” Jack asked breathlessly.
“The living room,” Hermione said.
“Take him for me,” he instructed. He held Ben out to her and she took him without question.
“No!” Ben cried. He had tears in his eyes and his arms stretched out towards his father.
“I’m gonna go help Mummy, alright?” Jack said reassuringly.
Ben hiccupped in his tears but nodded slowly.
“Stay with Grandma,” Jack instructed. “Don’t bring him in there,” he told his mother. Hermione nodded and watched her son run into the house at top speed.
Jack opened the door, and the first thing he heard were his wife’s whimpers.
“It’s okay, Lily,” he heard his grandmother say reassuringly. “Take deep breaths, dear.”
He reached the living room just as Molly was finishing her sentence. Lily was sitting on the couch, leaned back all the way with her face up towards the ceiling and her eyes closed. Her hands clutched at her stomach as she tried to breathe. His grandmother stood up to make way for him when she saw him enter the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, running to her side. He knelt down in front of her and took her hands.
“Something’s wrong, Jack,” Lily breathed, opening her eyes and looking at him with a scared expression. “This is too fast this time. It’s too soon.”
“It’s gonna be alright,” Jack said positively. “We’re going to the hospital.”
He stood up and helped pull her to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his body. She buried her face in his shirt and continued to pant. He could tell that something was definitely different than the last time. She had been in labour with Ben for over twenty hours and it had never been this bad, even at the end.
She stopped him when he tried to take a step towards the fireplace.
“No, we can’t now that my water broke.”
“Her water broke?” Jack asked frantically, looking up at his grandmother. Molly Weasley nodded and held her hands over her mouth, looking helpless.
He felt Lily’s grip on him tighten and braced himself when he heard her scream. Her knees buckled and it was all he could do to keep them both on their feet. He saw his grandmother pick something up on the side table and hold it out to him.
“It’s a portkey to the hospital. We keep it for emergencies.”
“Thanks,” Jack said gratefully. He took the object, which happened to be an old picture of his parents and his godparents during their Hogwarts days. He held on to Lily tightly as he felt the familiar sensation of a portkey being activated. They arrived at the departure port in the emergency room of the hospital. Once the room stopped spinning, he saw two nurses walking over to them.
“Please, help me,” Jack said with clear desperation. “My wife’s in labour!”
The nurses moved over, and soon they were helping Lily down onto a stretcher.
“When did the contractions start?” one nurse asked Lily.
“About fifteen minutes ago,” Lily said, checking her watch.
“Fifteen minutes!” Jack exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call for me sooner?”
“I’m sorry… thought it was nothing,” Lily said apologetically. “I didn’t think it would--” She stopped talking and gripped his hand tightly to keep from screaming.
“Hang on, baby,” Jack said soothingly. He could see tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as he brushed the hair out of her face. The nurses led them down the hall and into an empty room. Once in the room, they transfigured Lily’s clothes into a hospital gown and waved their wands over her stomach.
“We’ll be right back with a healer,” said the nurse who had spoken before.
“Wait, what’s wrong?” Jack asked to their retreating backs. They didn’t stop at the door. They just kept going.
“Jack,” Lily said shallowly. He looked back down at her and noticed how weak she looked. Her face was ashen pale and her eyelids looked heavy.
“It’s gonna be alright,” Jack said calmly. He pulled the covers up over her stomach and took a seat in the chair next to the bed.
“Jack, something’s wrong,” she said groggily.
“No, everything is going to be okay,” Jack assured. “You’re going to be fine. The baby is fine and it’s all going to be okay.”
“Ben…where’s Benjamin?” she asked, now with her eyes closed.
“He’s with my Mum. Lily, you got to stay awake now. The healer is coming.” He tried shaking her gently but she didn’t open her eyes.
“…I feel numb…” she mumbled almost incoherently.
“Lily, open your eyes!”
“…Numb…” This time he just saw her form the words.
“Lily!” he shouted. When she didn’t answer him, he bolted to the door, wrenched the door open, and saw a healer and the two nurses running down the hallway.
“Is she conscious?” the healer asked him when she got close enough.
Jack swallowed, “No, I don’t think so. Please, do something!”
The healer entered the room followed by the first nurse. The second stayed with Jack.
“You’ll have to wait out here,” she told him with sympathy. Jack grabbed the woman by the arms gently.
“No, I have to stay with her! She needs me!” Jack said desperately, trying to get past the woman.
The nurse shook her head and stood her ground, “What Mrs. Weasley needs right now is medical attention. They can help her better if you’re not in there, trust me.”
Jack stared at the woman for a second before taking hold of her arms firmly and looking her at her with desperation. “Please, we already have one son. If something happens to her, it would devastate him. I can’t raise him alone. Do whatever you have to do to save her…please…”
“We will, Mr. Weasley,” the nurse assured. “Now, why don’t you and I walk over to the waiting room and I can floo the rest of your family?”
Jack nodded and they walked off down the hall, but by the time they made it to the family waiting room, his parents and Lily’s parents were already there. He could only assume his mother had rounded them all up the minute he and Lily had left for the hospital.
“Jack,” Hermione called, hurrying over to him, “What’s going on? Where’s Lily?”
“She’s…she’s in with the healer…” Jack said distractedly. He couldn’t get Lily’s face out of his head. She was so scared, and there was nothing he could do to help her. Now he wasn’t even allowed to be with her.
Hermione pulled her son into a hug and comforted him in a way only a mother could. After a couple moments, he looked up and into the eyes of his very worried father-in-
law.
“Did they say what was wrong?” Harry asked after giving Jack time to calm down.
“She’s in labour,” Jack informed him.
Ginny gasped and took hold of her husband’s hand. “But it’s too soon,” she said quietly.
“And she just…she was so weak and I couldn’t get her to wake up…” Jack mumbled, looking off into space.
Hermione pulled on his arm and lead him over to one of the chairs. “Sit down, sweetheart.”
Jack sat down and looked around at his parents and in-laws. “Who’s watching Ben?”
“Your grandmother,” Ron said quickly. “He’s fine.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jack muttered, leaning forward in his seat to
put his elbows on his knees and cover his face with his hands. “She was fine today. She felt good when she woke up. She even slept well last night.”
“Sometimes these things just happen, Jack. There’s nothing that could have been done,” Ron said, trying to sound comforting.
Jack looked up at his father angrily, “Don’t tell me there’s nothing that could have been done! That’s my wife in there! That’s the mother of my son!”
“Calm down, Jack,” Hermione said softly.
Jack looked up at his mother harshly but said nothing. The only thing to do now was now wait.
And wait they did. No one said anything. The only noise came from the hallway outside their door as people passed by. Finally, after what seemed like forever, someone walked through the door, carrying a small bundle.
“Mr. Weasley?” the woman asked with a smile.
Jack stood, transfixed by the sight before him. The healer walked forward and moved the blanket so a small pink baby face could be seen amiss the sea of blue fabric.
“I have someone here who wants to meet you,” the woman said. She held her arms out, and Jack gently took the baby into his arms and held him to his chest. “He’s perfectly healthy in every way. He was just a little determined to make a dramatic entrance into the world and give his parents a fright.”
Jack stared down at the small baby. He seemed transfixed in a way. He searched through the blankets and found his son’s small hand which was curled up into a tight fist. He stroked the soft skin and almost immediately, the infant opened up his hand in an attempt to grasp Jack’s comparably large finger. The sight was so beautiful, it was almost heartbreaking. “My wife…is she?” Jack said, suddenly in a panic again.
“Mrs. Weasley is fine. She’s awake now and would like to see you. Why don’t
you leave your son with his grandparents and come with me?” the woman suggested.
Jack nodded, kissed his son’s forehead lovingly and handed him off to Ginny, who was gushing with pride. He followed the healer out of the room and back down the hallway. She stopped outside Lily’s door and gestured for him to go in.
“I’ll give you a minute before I send the others along,” she said kindly.
“Thank you,” Jack said sincerely. She nodded and walked away. Jack opened the door and entered the room slowly. He closed the door behind him and turned to see Lily laying flat on the bed. She was propped up by several pillows. He could tell she was exhausted, because when he entered the room she did not take her head off the pillow, however, her eyes opened and a wide smile grew on her face. He rushed to her bedside and took hold of her hand.
“Merlin, don’t ever do that to me again,” he breathed as he brought her hand to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand and kept it to his face, relieved to feel the soft warmth once more.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. He could tell from her voice that she was very tired, but the smile on her face still brought her face to live like it always did. “One minute I was fine and the next minute I was in the worst pain. It wasn’t like that with Ben.”
“Let’s hope it’s not a sign of things to come,” Jack joked lightheartedly.
“Did you see him?” she asked quietly.
Jack nodded, “He’s perfect. Just like his mother.”
“Where is he?”
“With our parents.”
Lily sighed, “We did it. We always wanted a family together and now we have one. You make me so happy, Jack. I just want you to know that. I may have left for a while, but I always knew I was born to love you.”
Jack woke the next morning in a cold sweat. The dream had been so vivid that he was physically shaken. He just couldn’t understand why he kept having these dreams; it was almost like they were premonitions of some sort. But how could they be? Admittedly, he had always had dreams about Lily. When they were together he’d have dreams like this; like glimpses into the future. Even after she left he would dream of her at night, but those were mostly of old memories. Now the dreams had taken on new meaning.
He rolled out of bed and immediately went to the bathroom, where he took a long cold shower to try and sober himself up. The events of the previous night were fuzzy, but he could still make them out. He knew he’d been a jerk. For some reason, whenever Lily was around he could never find anything nice to say about her.
Once he was finished with his shower, he left the bathroom to find an unexpected visitor perched on his nightstand. Flash looked at Jack expectantly as he puffed out his chest.
“Is this a hint?” Jack asked, the hand that had been running a towel through his hair now stationary.
Flash hooted in response and blinked several times.
“I guess I should probably send her a letter,” Jack surmised. He walked over to his desk and took a seat. There was parchment and a pen there waiting for him, but for some reason he knew he’d never find the right words to say. He decided that it was time he started to figure things out. They needed to talk. And really talk this time. Dipping his quill into the ink, he began to write.
Lily,
Look, I know we haven’t gotten off to the best start since we’ve seen each other again. I really want to sit down and talk to you. I’ll understand if you don’t want to speak to me after what I said last night, but if we have any hope of a future we need to get things out in the open.
If you want to meet with me then just send back an owl with Flash. He showed up in my bedroom today. I think he knew I that needed to write you before I knew. If you don’t want to see me, then don’t respond and I’ll get the message. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.
Jack
Lily found herself stand outside her godparents home with her hand in her pockets and her stature tense. It had been so long since she had last spent time with them, and she felt guilty. They had given her so much when she was younger, and for all intents and purposes, she had left them behind without a second thought. So that morning, after Adam left to go hang out with some of his friends, she set off to try and make things right. They had seemed fine when she saw them at her brother’s birthday party, but she still wanted to stop by and make the effort to show them she still cared.
She was still deep in thought when a voice to her left nearly scared her to death.
“Lily?”
Quickly making a grab for her wand, she turned to find a slightly amused Andy Weasley staring at her in disbelief.
“Merlin, Andy!” Lily breathed, putting her wand back in her pocket. “You nearly made me jump out of my skin. What were you thinking?”
“I was just wondering what you were doing, standing here looking like you’re on death’s doorstep,” Andy said with laughter in his voice. He walked forward until he was standing right in front of her.
Lily glanced back up at the house and spoke softly, “Just trying to decide if I was welcome here anymore.”
“Come on, Lily, why wouldn’t you be?”
She shrugged and continued to look away. “They were so angry when I left. Your dad wouldn’t even look at me for the last few weeks I was in town,” she said to the concrete surface beneath her feet.
“He didn’t want you to go. None of us did,” Andy said seriously. “I’m sorry that I didn’t try to keep in touch more. I got your gifts at Christmas and on my birthdays and I should have written something. I didn’t know where you were, and I didn’t want to ask Jack.”
“He wouldn’t have known,” Lily said, somewhat bitterly. “He never read any of my letters.”
“Still, I could have tried harder than I did.”
“It’s okay,” she said dismissively. “I understood.”
“Shall we?” Andy said, sweeping his hand towards the house.
“I guess so,” Lily said with reluctance.
She followed Andy up the rest of the path and up the stairs. When they reached the door, Andy went right inside and held the door for her. She never really thought about what it would feel like to be back in this house. No matter how far she traveled, or how long she was away, this was the definition of home. She never felt more comfortable anywhere than she did here.
“Mum! Dad!” Andy called, looking around.
“In here,” Hermione responded from the living room. Andy walked through the hallway and out of sight. Lily stayed back and looked at the pictures on the wall. It was almost like nothing had changed. All the same pictures where still there, along with a few new ones to keep them company. She couldn’t help but smile when she found the picture of Jack hovering on his broom a few feet off the ground when he was about thirteen.
“Oy! Lily, where’d ya go?” Andy asked from the other room.
Lily immediately made her way into the living room to find her godparents sitting on the couch. Uncle Ron had a paper in his hands and Aunt Hermione had a book open on her lap.
“Lily!” Ron said with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
She suddenly felt more nervous than she had been earlier, but she tried to fight it back. “I just thought I’d stop by.”
Hermione smiled, stood up, and walked over to give her a warm hug. “I’m so glad you decided to come see us. We’ve missed you, sweetheart!”
“I missed you too, Aunt Hermione,” Lily said, giving her an extra squeeze.
When they separated, Lily looked over to see Ron standing nearby looking at her with an odd expression. He walked closer when Hermione pulled away.
“Come here, kid,” he said with a sly grin.
Lily smiled and took a step forward to receive a massive bear hug from her godfather.
“I’m glad you stopped by too,” Ron said while still embracing her.
“Me too,” Lily said against his shirt.
Ron released her and took a step back. “You really do look fantastic. Not that you looked bad when you left, but now you look a lot different,” Ron said looking at her intently.
“Thanks,” Lily said awkwardly.
“Sit down, honey,” Hermione said, motioning towards an empty chair. “You too, Andy.”
“No, I can’t, Mum,” Andy said, walking back towards the broom closet. “I just stopped by to grab my broom. The blokes and I are playing today.”
“Have fun,” Ron called as they heard the sounds of the broom closet being opened and closed, and then the backdoor slamming shut.
“So tell us about work, Lily. Is the American department very different from the one here?” Hermione asked as soon as her son was gone.
Lily was glad Hermione spoke first and took away some of the tension. “It is a lot more different than I expected it to be. Aurors in the states are extremely dedicated; sometimes to a fault. Working is just about the only thing they ever do or enjoy. Most of them don’t have families. Their friends are fellow aurors and they completely cut themselves off from regular civilians.”
“Have you solved many cases?” Hermione wondered with interest.
“Adam and I have been on a number of undercover missions and those take a lot of time. I think I’ve been about five different people since I left here,” Lily joked.
“So, you and this Adam are friends?” Ron asked without hesitation. He was seated next to his wife on the couch, and as he spoke he leaned back in his seat and threw his arm back behind Hermione.
“Yeah, we’re good friends.”
“It’s good that you found a friend in a strange place,” Hermione said pleasantly.
“He’s been great,” Lily said, trying to avoid Ron’s eyes.
“Do you get homesick often?” Hermione asked hopefully.
Lily looked at her and smiled fondly. “I miss you guys everyday.”
“We miss you too, Lily. We wish you could have been here for Anna Maria so she could have gotten to know her better,” Hermione stated cautiously.
“I know,” Lily said, looking down.
“Will you stay for some tea?” Hermione wondered.
Lily nodded and smiled, “I’d love to.”
Lily walked down the hallway and into her childhood bedroom. She looked around the familiar room that was filled with memories. She strode over to the bed and sat down on the soft surface.
It was almost as if nothing had changed. She was seventeen again and this was home. She looked over at the nightstand and found the picture that had always rested there. In the photo, she and Jack were dancing at a family wedding. Jack was leading Lily around the dance floor, occasionally twirling her around or lifting her chin up towards him to place an easy, gentle kiss on her lips. Lily picked the frame to get a closer look.
She could remember nearly everything about that day. The wedding was just a few weeks after the attack at Hogwarts at the end of her sixth year. In a few short weeks, her father would make his reappearance into her life and the next few months would prove much more difficult than she ever could have imagined; but that day was still untouched by problems. On that day, the world was perfect. They hadn’t just buried their best friend. There weren’t people doing everything in their power to ruin life in the wizarding world once more. There was no pain or suffering in their future. None at all.
She remembered going shopping with Aunt Hermione a few weeks before the wedding for the dress she was wearing. Jack was still recovering from his injuries, and Hermione felt Lily needed some cheering up. All the hours of preparation were instantly worth it when she saw the look on Jack’s face. He had met her in the living room and she’d never seen his jaw drop so fast. The whole day was just magical. If only the rest of their lives could have been…
She was so lost in her own world that she didn’t hear someone enter the room. The floor creaked to her right and she looked over quickly in surprise.
“He hasn’t smiled like that in years,” Uncle Ron said sadly from the doorway. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe heavily.
Lily looked up at him and sighed. “He seems happy to me,” she contradicted lightly.
Ron walked over and sat down next to her on the bed, but said nothing.
“He doesn’t want to see me, Uncle Ron. He doesn’t want to be friends. What more can I do?”
He was silent for a moment until he asked in a deep, serious voice, “You’ve told him that you still love him?”
“Yes,” Lily said with wide, sad eyes.
“He’s just trying to protect himself, sweetheart. He was absolutely devastated when you left.”
“I know,” she said softly into her lap. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye. I’m sorry I didn’t write more or visit more. I’m sorry I missed so much of your lives the past few years. I’m sorry I haven’t been all that I should have been. I’m sorry I haven’t shown you the love you have shown me.”
Ron took a deep breath and looked around the room before he spoke again in a very resolute tone of voice. “I don’t know why, Lily, but somehow you’ve gotten the impression that I’m angry with you.”
Before she could stop herself, the words were spilling from her mouth like water down a waterfall, unchecked and unrestricted. “Why shouldn’t you be mad at me? I’m the reason your son is miserable, right? You said so yourself: he doesn’t smile like this anymore,” she said, making a gesture towards the picture. “I’m the one who left. You gave me the first home I ever had. You took me in when no one in the world cared about me. You’ve always been there when I needed you. You’ve always helped me through every little problem that’s ever crossed my path. I should have found a better way to repay you. I know I’ve let you down, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do--”
“Stop,” Ron interrupted. He turned slightly towards her. He took her hands in his and gave them a squeeze. “You haven’t disappointed me. You never could. I know I was tough on you when you left, and I’m truly sorry for that. We just didn’t want to see you go. I understand that you’re a different person now. I’m only sorry you had to go so far away in order to find yourself.”
“I really am grateful for all you’ve given me,” she said in a hushed whisper.
Ron let go of her hands and walked the short distance to the window on the right side of the bed. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and stared out into the backyard below, which was basking in the afternoon sunshine.
“There’s one thing you’ll learn when you become a parent, Lily. Sometimes it seems children were put on this earth to test their parents. Sometimes children do things…things that can damn near break a parent’s heart in two.” He glanced back over at his goddaughter and found her still facing where he was once seated next to her. There were wet shimmers on the brims of her eyes, showing how close she truly was to tears.
He turned his head back to the window and went on, “Do you remember when you and Jack came back from Quidditch camp the first year you were captains?” He heard her sniffle discreetly, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod her head. Clearly she didn’t trust even her own voice. “You two came back, this new relationship in full bloom, and I knew you were scared out of your mind.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to trust people, even when you already know you love them,” Lily stated.
“I stood here in this very room and told you that you were a member of this family, and that we would love you no matter what.” He turned his head to face her. “Do you remember?”
“Of course I do,” she said, finally turning to meet his eyes.
“Did you believe me then?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you believe me now?”
Her eyes fell again and her whole body seemed to fall with them as she slouched down and let go of a deep breath. “It’s just that…he’s your son and I hurt him. I didn’t know what you would think of me.”
Ron came back and sat next to her. He took her hand again and gave it a squeeze. “What you did broke my heart because I realized how powerless I really was. It broke my heart because I knew I couldn’t help you. I wanted to take all your pain away and I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. Something changed with you when you came back from Malfoy’s hell. You were hurting and nothing that I did, nothing that anyone did, made any of that go away. You had to find a way to get past it, and to be honest, I don’t think you’ve done that while you’ve been away. But I think going away has made you ready to face it now.”
Lily lifted her eyes once more and gave him a small smile. She squeezed his hand in return for his words and took a shuddering breath. He said nothing for a minute or two; giving her time to compose herself.
“Do you really think he still loves me?” Lily asked suddenly.
“He will always love you,” Ron confirmed.
Lily opened her mouth to speak but stopped when her owl flew through the open window and landed on the bed next to her. She reached forward and took the letter with her name on the front. She opened the note was surprised to find that it was from Jack himself.
She had to give him credit, he may have been a jerk last night but at least he knew it. She looked up when she was finished and found Ron looking at her curiously.
“Jack…he…um…wants to see me,” Lily explained uncertainly.
Ron lips curled slightly into a smile and he nodded. “I guess you’ve go a letter to write.” He stood up to leave, but she pulled him back.
“Uncle Ron?” she asked tentatively.
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?
“You just did,” Ron said playfully. He saw her serious expression and the smile faded from his face. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
Lily looked down into her lap and tried desperately to blink back the tears that were prickling behind her eyes. “Do you ever wish I hadn’t come here?”
Ron responded immediately. “No, that would be like wishing one of my children had never been born. You belong in this family, Lily. One day you’ll realize that.” He smiled and kissed her on the forehead before standing up and leaving the room.
Chapter 6: Chapter Six: Admittance
Author's Notes: Hello everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know there is a slight bit of a conversation that was inspired by anothe rmovie in this chapter. Kodos to anyone who can guess what movie it is. I'll tell you all next chapter! I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long and I hope you all enjoy this one!
Chapter Six: Admittance
Later that day, Jack sat on the sofa in Allie’s living room with a lot on his mind. He hadn’t received a letter back from Lily yet, and he was starting to get worried. What if she didn’t want to speak to him again? Could he live with that?
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the look on her face from the previous night out of his mind. He knew his words must have hurt terribly because she hadn’t retaliated. When Lily was hurting, she was silent; he knew that better than anyone.
“Jack, is everything alright?” Allie’s voice floated into his mind and interrupted his thoughts. He looked over to where she was sitting on the other end of the sofa, reading her mail.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head. “I’m fine.”
“Did something happen last night after I left?” Allie asked suspiciously.
Jack sat up straighter and shrugged his shoulders stiffly. “No, I talked with Dylan for a bit, had a couple drinks, and then came home. Why?”
“I don’t know,” Allie sighed. “You just seem to have something on your mind today. Did you talk to Lily or something?”
He debated lying. He could just say “no” and that would be the end of it. Instead, he took a deep breath and nodded his head. “Yeah, she came over to talk before I left.”
“How did that go?” Allie wondered. She had put her mail aside and was now
giving him her full attention.
“Horrible!” Jack said forcefully. “I was half-drunk, and she came over to help me, and I was terrible to her! The things I said…I can’t believe I was so cruel.”
“What did she say in return?” Allie asked, settling back against the sofa with her arms crossed across her chest. Had Jack been looking at her, he would have seen the knowing look on her face.
“She didn’t say anything!” he cried. He jumped to his feet and began pacing the floor in front of her. “She walked away with her friends and her new partner. And that git just put his arm around her as if it was nothing!”
“But it was something,” she pressed. “Something to you, at least.”
“Of course it was!” he blabbed without thinking. “The bloke thinks he can walk right in and take my place!”
“And he can’t,” she continued for him.
“No, he sure as hell can’t! Lily and I have history together. I know things about her no one else knows! Who the hell does he think he is?” He continued pacing until he felt like he would explode.
Allie said nothing, but watched him faithfully.
Finally, he sat back down on the couch heavily and rested his elbows on his knees. Letting go of a deep breath, he took his head in his hands and spoke in a quiet, defeated voice. “I was always the one she went to. We knew everything about each other. She was my whole life.”
“She still is,” Allie said conclusively. There was no accusation in her voice. She didn’t sound hurt or upset at all. “You love her, Jack,” she added after a moment’s pause.
Jack raised his head from his hands and looked over at her. The expression on her face was soft and comfortable. Her legs were drawn up underneath her, and although her arms were still crossed over her chest, her overall manner was laid-back.
He realized he needed to stop lying to himself, and her as well. He bowed his head again and took another breath, “Allie, I-”
“Don’t,” she said, cutting him off. “I’m not stupid, Jack. I can see what’s right in front of my face.”
“I never meant to hurt you by all this. I never meant to have feelings for her,” Jack said quickly. “I was so angry for so long…I guess I hid behind that.”
“I think it’s time to stop hiding,” she told him. She leaned forward and placed a gentle, reassuring hand on his forearm.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I never wanted to lead you on. I do care for you.”
“I know you do,” she asserted. “But not the way you care for her. I see the way you look at her. You’ve never looked at me like that.”
Jack thought for a moment. “How do I look at her?” he asked out of curiosity.
“Like she’s all you need to be happy. You look at her like you love absolutely everything about her.”
“But I don’t,” Jack interrupted. “I don’t love the fact that she left. There are parts of her that I don’t like at all.”
“Jack, I don’t know why she left. Maybe she needed time to figure out if she belonged with you. I’m sure it’s hard for someone like her to accept unconditional love. From what I gather, she had a rough time growing up. Things like that make a person hard to love.”
He nodded, “Yeah, but it wasn’t always a struggle.” He leaned back into the couch and relaxed a bit. “There were times when it was just the two of us; it wasn’t complicated at all. But other times, loving her seemed impossible.”
Allie sighed. “Well, I guess what you have to decide now is if the good times were worth the struggle. I do know one thing, though: you’re not happy here with me. I care about you enough to want what’s best for you, and I think what’s best for you is to figure things out with her.”
“I need to know,” Jack said resolutely. “I have to know if there is something there worth saving. I think there is. I know I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if I don’t at least try.” He looked over at her sad smile and shook his head. “I don’t deserve you, Allie.”
She smiled prettily in return, and seemed to consider his words. “No, you don’t. But I don’t deserve you either. You have to admit, Jack…we never had a real relationship. We were really just friends who…”
“Happened to sleep together,” Jack finished for her when she couldn’t find the right words.
She chuckled at his bluntness, but nodded her head, “Yes, I suppose that’s what it was.”
“I’d like to be your friend. Is that all right with you?”
“Of course,” Allie nodded. She leaned towards him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I have to admit, I had a feeling we would end this way.”
“Really? Why would you think that?”
“Just a feeling. You got this look on your face whenever someone would
mention her name. You avoided your family because they remind you of her. I knew that, even if you wouldn’t admit it yourself.”
Jack studied her for several seconds. She truly was more insightful than he gave her credit for. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I knew we weren’t serious. We were having fun. It was casual. There
isn’t anything wrong with that.”
“No, I suppose not,” he mused.
“But I don’t think it’s healthy anymore. I think if we continue with this, you would find a way to hide behind us and convince yourself that you love me when we both know you don’t. I don’t want to be someone you settle for. I don’t want to be someone anyone settles for. Relationships are hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it.”
Jack let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned back into him naturally and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Someday you’re going to find some bloke who can’t get enough of you. You deserve everything I can’t give you.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Tell Lily she better hold on to what she has this time.”
“I don’t even know if she’ll talk to me, Allie, after everything I did and said.
That’s the problem with us. When I’m angry with her, I know exactly what to say that will hurt her the most. I know all her weak spots. I know what buttons to push.” He looked down at the sofa and became very interested in the gray upholstery.
“Just wait, she’ll want to listen eventually. You’ve got to be patient about it, though. Don’t expect to go right back to the way things were.”
“I don’t think I could go back to the way things were,” Jack admitted. “Thanks for the advice, though. I might call on you again if that’s okay.”
“Anytime,” she said with a shining smile. “You call on me anytime you need me, Jack.”
Jack stayed at Allie’s house for a little while longer before returning to Hogwarts. Once back at the school, he went out onto the pitch and did a couple laps before coming back inside to his quarters. He needed to start planning for the upcoming term, but the longer he sat there, the less he got done.
He kept wondering why Lily hadn’t written him back yet. It was mid-afternoon already. Maybe she never wanted to speak to him again. Just as he was beginning to panic, Flash flew in his open window and landed in front of him. He took the letter eagerly, gave Flash a treat for his efforts, and tore into the letter.
Dear Jack,
I can’t say I wasn’t surprised to get your letter. I’m at your parent’s house visiting. If you want to get together later, then you can meet me here.
Love,
Lily
Folding the letter up, he set it down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. He should have known she would be at his parent’s house. He knew the family missed having her around very much, and sooner or later she was bound to end up there.
As he sat there, alone in his quarters at Hogwarts, he realized that his family hadn’t been complete since Lily left. It only took a moment longer for him to realize that he hadn’t been complete since she left either. He hadn’t been happy. In fact, he’d been miserable. He put on a happy face because he felt like he had something to prove. He somehow needed to prove that he could be happy without her.
He took his head in his hands and sighed deeply. Why was he making this so hard on himself? He knew Lily still cared for him like she always had. Why not just ask her to stay and work things out? Even if all they ever were was friends, that would be a hell of a lot better than the way things were now. He didn’t think he could take it if the rest of his life ended up being like the last four.
Making his decision, he picked up a piece of parchment and began his reply.
Lily,
I’ll be over there right away. Please don’t leave. I really need to talk to you.
Love, Jack
Lily had been sitting out in the back yard of her aunt and uncle’s house by herself since she had sent Flash off with Jack’s reply. When she got the owl back from him, she decided to heed his request and wait for him to get there. She couldn’t imagine what he wanted to talk about. His words from the previous night were still fresh in her mind, and she worried she may not be able to keep her composure if he intended on saying anything like that to her again. It wasn’t five minutes after Flash had returned that she heard footsteps behind her.
“Seeing as how you wanted me to stay away from you, you’re really making it difficult,” she said dryly.
“How did you know it was me?” Jack asked, stopping dead in his tracks and waiting for her to turn around.
“You shuffle your feet when you walk.”
She heard him take a deep breath, and soon he took a seat next to her on the warm ground. She looked over at him, and found him staring off into the distance. He was quiet, and so she said nothing. Minutes passed with no words exchanged. Jack finally spoke up when the silence became unbearable.
“I had a dream about us last night.”
Lily looked over at him and squinted against the harsh sunlight. “You still dream about us?”
He glanced her way and nodded, “I’ve always dreamt about you, Lil. I probably always will. Do you?”
She shrugged her shoulders and returned her gaze to the grass in front of her. “Sometimes. The dreams seemed to come less and less often the longer I was away from you. Most of them are just memories.”
“Memories of what?” he asked with genuine interest.
“Just the two of us. I’d dream about waking up and finding you there. Or I’d dream about us playing Quidditch. Small stuff, you know.”
“My dreams are so real,” Jack whispered. “The one last night, especially.”
She was surprised by the emotion behind his words, but shook her head to overcome the feeling. “What did you dream about? Some fight we had?” she asked cynically.
“No,” Jack said, shaking his head. “We were married.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily turn her head to face him. “You had just given birth to our second child.”
After studying him for a second, she was almost scared at what she found in his eyes. There was a vulnerability which had not been present in a long time, since long before she left in the first place. His gaze bore into her in a way only he ever could. She stumbled with how to respond.
“Jack, I-”
He held his hand up to stop her. “Hold on, there’s something I need to say, and if I don’t say it now I never will.” He took a deep breath and turned to face her completely. “When you left I was a complete mess. I stayed away from my family and yours. I didn’t talk to our friends. I just didn’t know what to do. You had always been there for me when I needed you, and suddenly you were gone when I felt like I needed you most. You and I had always been a team and when you left, I felt abandoned.”
Lily opened her mouth to say something in response, but Jack shook his head again. He took both her hands in his and intertwined their fingers. “Please, Lily, I need to say this.”
She looked down at their joined hands and then back up into his eyes. It was odd to touch him like this again; odd, but at the same time soothing. She gave him a nod and he continued. “I had always told you I would protect you. But when you left, protecting you became impossible. Being around my family reminded me of you, so I stayed away from them. I was angry at you for leaving, but more than that I was angry at myself for letting you go. I was angry that I wasn’t strong enough to help you find your way here. I felt like my weakness was the reason you had to go somewhere else to find your strength.”
Jack paused and looked away around the backyard of his childhood home. There was the tree he had proposed to her under that Christmas morning. He thought they would have it made after that. He thought they’d always be together. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to remember what that felt like. He closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts.
“I’m not naïve, Lily,” he said finally. “I know things were bad there for us in the end. We were both too stressed out from everything and we forgot what was most important. We should have stuck together on things rather than pull away from each other.”
“I just needed time,” Lily said. “Things were so tense. All we did was fight. Taking that potion only made things worse,” she looked up at him and paused before she added, “You scared me, Jack. I didn’t know what you were going to do. I know some of it was the potion. But I could hear your thoughts. Those feelings had to come from somewhere.”
Jack nodded and looked away from her. “I know I scared you. I was angry about that for a really long time. I’m still angry. I mean…we were happy right?” He looked back at her with an almost desperate look in his eyes. “For a while there, before all hell broke loose, were we happy?”
“Yes, we were happy,” Lily said with certainty.
“Then why did we let it change us?”
“Jack,” she sighed heavily. “We were young. We were young and in over our heads. I was confused and you…I think you were scared too.”
“I know I was scared,” Jack admitted.
“Unfortunately, we can’t go back and change it. We just have to live with it and move on.”
He watched as the wind blew a soft black curl up off her face. “I’m sorry I’ve been so horrible to you.”
She studied him carefully after he said it, almost as if she was trying to gauge whether this was going to be another cruel joke that he would throw back in her face later.
“I mean it,” he added, sensing her reluctance. “I don’t know what’s been wrong with me lately. I know ‘sorry’ doesn’t begin to make up for it. Nothing ever will. I just want you to know that I regret the way I’ve treated you, both since you’ve been back and before you left.”
“It’s okay to be angry with me. I expected you to be,” Lily said reassuringly.
“It wasn’t all anger. I…” he looked away again with shame in his eyes. “I wanted to hurt you. Hurt you the way you’d hurt me, and I know now that was wrong. I didn’t mean anything I said. I don’t think you’ve brought pain into my family. I don’t think you’re the piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit. And most importantly, I don’t think you’re a slag.”
“Well, that’s good to know,” she replied cheekily with a genuine smile.
“I know you had to get away to take care of yourself. It was what you needed. I can see that now. I’m not angry that you left. I’m angry at the world, I guess. I’m angry at Malfoy for doing the things he did to you. I’m angry that we couldn’t just together without having to worry about everything else.
“I know you didn’t leave because you didn’t care about me anymore; even if it did feel like it at the time. I also know how much I let you down when you decided to leave. I wasn’t supportive. In the beginning when we first got together I told you I would always be there for you, and I broke my promise.” He looked straight into her eyes and without missing a beat said, “And I know now is that I need you. I need my best friend back. I can’t keep living like this.”
She stared at him in guarded wonder for a few seconds with a serious look on her face. “Do you mean that?”
Slowly he swallowed and nodded his head, “I do.”
“You don’t know how much that means to me,” she said sincerely.
“Forgive me?” he asked hopefully.
“If you forgive me for hurting you.”
“I forgive you,” he said without hesitation.
Lily gave his hand a squeeze again and smiled warmly. “Then I do as well.”
Chapter 7: Chapter Seven: One Step Forward…One Step Back
Author's Notes: Chapter seven everyone! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Seven: One Step Forward…One Step Back
Ron Weasley was fixing himself a small sandwich in the kitchen. His wife entered the room with their daughter on her hip and a smile on her face.
“I think this one is going to be a little singer. You should have heard her upstairs,” Hermione said to her husband happily.
Ron looked up and smiled at her. He picked up the sandwich he had just made and walked around to the sink to put the knife he had used in the sink. He happened to glance up and
look out the window.
“Hermione, come see,” he said with a smile.
Hermione walked over to the window and looked out. In the distance she could see Jack and Lily sitting under one of the many trees in their back yard. They sat Indian style facing each other, knee to knee. Jack held Lily’s hands in his tightly as they spoke to each other softly.
“It’s not right to spy on them,” Hermione scolded lightly, but she couldn’t help but smile from what she saw. “Well, that’s encouraging isn’t it?” she asked, looking over at her husband.
“I just want them to be friends again,” Ron said quietly. In the distance, Lily nodded her head and smiled widely. Jack pulled her forward by her hands and engulfed her in a powerful hug. “Definitely encouraging,” he added smugly.
Jack and Lily stood up from their places on the ground and dusted themselves off. They looked at each other rather apprehensively and began walking towards the house.
Instantly, Ron and Hermione moved away from the window and both tried to act as if they hadn’t just been spying on them. Ron returned to the counter to retrieve an apple from a bowl by the sink, and Hermione sat down at the table. She let Anna Maria down to the floor, and she wandered off into the living room to play with her dolls. A few moments later, Jack and Lily entered the kitchen through the back door.
“Hey, you two,” Hermione said with a distinct glint in her eye.
“Hey, Mum,” Jack said, somewhat nervously. He closed the door behind him and followed Lily further into the room.
“What are you kids up to?” Ron wondered.
“Lily was just about to head home,” Jack said, exchanging a look with Lily.
“I promised Dad that I would have dinner with him and the boys,” Lily explained.
“Where’s Ginny going?” Ron asked.
“With me,” Hermione spoke up. “We’re going out for dinner to have a girl’s night.”
“Oh,” Ron mumbled lamely. “Well Jack, want to stick around and help me out with your sister?”
Jack nodded his head, “Sure, Dad. I’ll come back after I take Lily home.”
“You don’t have to,” Lily said softly. “I can manage on my own.”
“I want to,” Jack insisted.
Lily nodded, and Ron could have sworn he saw her cheeks blush slightly like they always used to when Jack did something like this. The two of them locked eyes, and silence followed.
Ron cleared his throat to get their attention. “Well, it was good to spend some time with you again, Lily. Come by more often.”
Lily walked over to him and gave him a hug. “I will, Uncle Ron. I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
Lily walked over to Hermione and gave her a hug as well. “Tell your mother I’ll see her later,” Hermione said.
“I will.”
Lily walked back to where Jack was standing, and together they walked back to the door.
“I’ll be back in a few,” Jack told his parents.
“Take your time,” Hermione said with a sly smile.
Lily and Jack walked out the door and faced each other. “Meet you outside your dad’s house?” Jack asked her.
“Sure,” she said, smiling. She closed her eyes and disapparated with a POP.
Jack took a deep breath and followed her a few moments later. The second he felt his feet touch the ground once more, he knew he had chosen the wrong spot. He collided with something hard, and after some very ungraceful flailing, he tumbled to the ground flat on his back.
Even though his eyes were open, he couldn’t see anything accept the blackness in front of his face. The smell of lavender filled his nostrils and he knew immediately it was the scent of Lily. He felt her next to him, her left leg and left arm draped over his body. He tried unsuccessfully to brush her hair out of his face so he could see. He struggled to stand up, but just when he was half way up an elbow jabbed him hard in the stomach.
“Oof!” He fell back down against the hard ground with a painful thud.
“Oh, Jack, I’m sorry!” Lily’s voice said sympathetically.
Lily pulled her hair off his face and he blinked against the light. A second later he looked up to find Lily scrambling to get to her feet. Once she was upright, he raised himself back up onto his elbows. He was about to take the hand she offered to help him up when he heard laughter. Lily turned around to find her father smiling at them fondly from the back door.
“Nice landing,” Harry said with great amusement. He crossed his arms across his chest and continued to look at them with a chuckle.
Harry remembered the first time he saw them together; crumpled in a mess of limbs after apparating into the same spot in Ron and Hermione’s kitchen. He shook his head at the memory.
“Thank you for that assessment, Dad,” Lily said dryly, but couldn’t help but smile. She turned back to Jack and helped him off of the ground.
“So what are you two up to, besides falling all over each other?” Harry wondered.
“Well…” Lily looked over at Jack who was nervously dusting himself off. “Jack was just making sure I got home all right.”
“Oh he was, was he?” Harry asked with a nod of his head. “I thank you, Jack. She seems to have arrived in one piece.”
Jack laughed and shook his head at his godfather; Harry always did like a good laugh. “No problem, Harry. Anytime,” Jack replied with as much seriousness as he could possibly muster.
“I’ll be inside, sweetheart,” Harry said to Lily before turning around and entering the house again.
Once he was gone, Lily turned back to Jack and cleared her throat. “Sorry about that. I guess I picked the wrong spot.”
“No harm done. It was me, really. You were there first.”
The two of them looked at each other in silence for a few tense seconds. Jack scratched the back of his neck with his hand and looked down at the ground.
“I should get back. My parents are waiting for me,” he said finally.
“Of course. Thanks for coming with me, Jack. You really didn’t need to.”
“I’d like to see you again. Can you get away for lunch tomorrow?” Jack asked hopefully.
Lily smiled fondly, “I think I can pencil you in.”
“Where’s Adam?” Jack asked with clear uncertainty.
“He’s been spending some time with a friend in London. He should be back sometime tonight. I think it was a good idea for him to come home with me. He’s really been having a good time.”
“That’s good,” Jack muttered while looking down at his feet.
Lily studied him for a few seconds and seemed to read his thoughts. “He’s a good guy, Jack. He’s been a good friend to me while I was away. But that’s all he’s ever been: a friend.”
“He doesn’t like me much, does he?”
“Where did you ever get that idea?”
Jack looked up at her with a hard look on his face, “Lil, the guy looks like he’d like to bury me alive every time he sees me.”
Lily stifled a laugh at the look on Jack’s face, but regained her composure. “He saw how hard it was for me to be away from you, thinking you hated me. He doesn’t understand why you didn’t answer my letters. When it comes down to it, he just doesn’t understand you and me, that’s all.”
“I guess if I were him and I had only known what little he knew about me while you were over there, I would hate me too…if that makes any sense.”
Lily chuckled. “I guess I can understand why Allison hates me as well.”
“She does not,” Jack said with equal enthusiasm.
She rolled her eyes. “Right.”
“She doesn’t hate you, Lil. She thinks highly of you,” Jack countered quickly.
“I don’t know why,” Lily said looking back at the ground. “She doesn’t really know me.”
Jack sighed again. He really hadn’t wanted to get into this right now. There were a lot of things about his relationship with Allie that Lily needed to understand, and this wasn’t the place to start educating her on the finer points of the half-hearted fling he’d had in her absence. Instead, he changed the subject. “I should let you go in. You’re Dad’s waiting,” Jack said, nodding towards the house. “Meet me at The Three Broomsticks at around one?”
“Sounds like a plan,” she replied with an inviting smile.
“All right. See you later, Lily.”
“Okay, bye.”
She watched him close his eyes, and a second later he was gone. For several minutes, she didn’t move. She could hardly believe all that had happened in one afternoon. She and Jack were on the road to being friends again; he didn’t hate her. She was unable to keep the grin off her face even after she entered the house. She found her father sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper.
He whistled at the sight of her. “Golly, look at you. I haven’t seen you smile like that in ages!” he said, leaning back in his chair and examining her closer.
Lily blushed and went to sit next to him. “Jack and I talked at Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron’s house. We’re meeting for lunch tomorrow.”
“Oh, really?” Harry said with unique interest.
“Yes, and don’t you go making a big deal about it. It’s just lunch.”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Just lunch,” Harry said, smirking. Lily opened her mouth to chastise him but Harry held up his hand to silence her. “Now, hold on a minute. I’m your father and I’m entitled to be delighted to see the smile he brings to your face. He’s always meant the world to you, even if you haven’t wanted him to.”
Lily sighed and sat back in her chair. She studied her father for a moment before she nodded her head. “I suppose you’re right.”
Harry’s face grew serious all of a sudden and he rested his elbows on the table. Lily took note of the expression on his face. She had wondered how long it would take for this subject to rear its ugly head.
“Go ahead, Dad. I know what you want to know,” she urged softly.
“Tell me the truth about Malfoy,” he said without further hesitation. “I know I’ve asked you before and you’ve always brushed it off. I want the truth. Do you still have the dreams?”
“Sometimes,” Lily admitted, looking down into her hands which rested on her lap. She fidgeted with her fingers for a moment. “They’re easier to control now than they used to be,” she added with confidence.
“They haven’t figured out any way to make them stop?” Harry pressed further.
Lily shook her head. “Nothing other than the magical bonding.”
“And you’re not willing to do that?”
“Dad, Jack and I are only just starting to speak to each other. I hardly think he’s ready for that type of commitment, and quite frankly, neither am I.”
“So you’re just going to live with it for the rest of your life? Can’t anyone find him? Are they even looking?” Harry sounded somewhat annoyed, and Lily decided to choose her words wisely to avoid any further argument.
“Well…it’s just that…he isn’t really bothering anyone but me, now is he? No one has seen him in years. If it weren’t for my dreams, we wouldn’t even know he was alive.”
“Just because an enemy is sleeping doesn’t mean they’re any less dangerous,” Harry pointed out quickly.
“I know that, Dad. It’s just that…there isn’t any real reason to pursue him to the ends of the Earth. He could be anywhere. I think departmental time and energy is better spent elsewhere. There is no reason to go off searching for him actively until we have reason to believe he’s planning something.”
“No other reason besides your own sanity,” Harry interrupted. Lily opened her mouth to respond but he silenced her again. “No, let me finish. They don’t go after him because you don’t insist on it. You take everyone else into consideration before yourself. This man has been terrorizing you since you were a little kid. He’s taken your childhood away from you. It’s taken everything I have in me not to go after him myself. I understand that I have a family now and I’m needed here. I can’t just go trotting over the planet. But you, why are you letting him off the hook so easily?”
Lily stuttered, “Well, I just…I don’t know…it’s just…it’s just complicated, all right?”
Harry reached over, took her hands into his, and brought them up on the table. “Trying to forget about what happened isn’t going to make what he did to you go away, honey.”
“I’m not trying to forget about him,” she replied hotly. She tried to pull her hands away from his, but he tightened his grip.
“Yes you are,” he said forcefully. “I know you are because it’s something I would do and you’re just like me. You’ve never dealt with what he did to you. I should have forced you to talk about it more. I know that’s my fault. You ran away from it, just like I would have. I haven’t proved to be a very good role model for you in some ways, but that is something I hope to work on.”
“I have too dealt with it!” she fired back.
“No, Lily, you haven’t.”
“How would you know?”
“How many people have you told? How many of your friends in America know about what happened to you?”
“It’s not exactly something I’m proud of,” she grumbled under her breath.
“What about Adam?”
“Adam knows about what happened before my seventh year,” she said defensively. “He knows that I went missing and was presumed dead.”
“He knows that because it’s in your file at work,” Harry reminded her. “Have you told him what’s not in the file? What he did to you?”
Lily shook her head. “Why would he need to know about that?”
“Because you call him your friend. Because it was a terrible thing that happened in your life, and unfortunately it changed the person you have become.”
“Please don’t push this,” she half-begged. Her eyes were closed, but the expression on her face was tense.
“Honey, I love you. I want the best for you always, but you’re lost right now. You’ve been lost long since Jack and I pulled you out of that dungeon half alive. If you won’t face this on your own, then you need pushing. You need to talk about it. If not with me, then talk to someone else. Talk to Jack. Talk to one of your old friends. Talk to Adam. Talk to a psychologist.”
“I am not a head case,” Lily said strongly.
“I’m not saying that. Sweetheart, I’m your father. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal; one I know you haven’t faced.”
“Dad, I know I’ve worried you by staying away. I know I hurt the family--”
“This isn’t about me or the family. Yes, it did hurt to see you go, and yes the family would have loved to have you around the past four years, but this is about you. This is about you admitting that you were the victim and that you deserve justice and closure and happiness.”
“You want me to go after him?” Lily asked with bewilderment. “You just convinced me to come back home to rest and now you want me back off again chasing after someone I’d rather just forget about?”
Harry shook his head. “No, not necessarily. But I want you to admit that he should be brought to justice. That he should be brought in for what he’s done to you, and not that he should be forgotten because he’s only harmed you. They’d go after him if you asked them to.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but this time it was her own will that caused her to stop. She muttered something under her breath and shook her head.
“I know you’re scared, and I know what that’s like,” Harry began once again, “I also know what it’s like to be afraid to let people know you’re scared. No one thinks you’re weak. But you need help. You need to bring it out into the open and talk about it. You need to insist that something gets done about Malfoy.”
“I just don’t know…” Lily said in a far-off voice.
“What if you’re not the only one? What if he’s controlling other people like you? What if he hurts someone else the way he hurt you?”
Lily stared back at him and shook her head. She didn’t get the chance to answer her father, because a moment later Ginny came into the room with James and Dominic close behind her.
“Lily!” Dominic yelled before running and jumping onto her lap.
“Hey, squirt,” Lily said with half a smile. She ruffled his hair and gave him a hug.
“Leavin’ soon?” Dominic asked was a sad face.
Lily looked over his head and into her father’s eyes. She sighed and shook her head. “Not yet,” she answered the boy vaguely.
“But you are leaving?” James pressed further.
“Eventually,” Lily answered, again with reluctance and vagueness.
Harry and Ginny exchanged worried glances. Ginny had gone to the sink and was preparing herself a glass of water.
“Lily-” Harry began until Ginny cut him off.
“Don’t, Harry,” she warned.
Harry ignored her. “Lily, why would you want to leave now? I thought you and Jack were okay. You seemed okay earlier.”
Lily set Dominic back down on the floor and turned back to him. “It’s not just about Jack, Dad. It’s about a lot of other things, including a whole life I have waiting for me in America.”
“What about the life you have waiting for you here?” He couldn’t help the anger that seemed to have crept into his voice.
“When I left to visit, it was right in the middle of a lot of things. I’m not a kid anymore. I can’t just pack up and leave whenever I feel like it now. I have a job with responsibilities. That’s my life I left back there.”
“What the hell kind of life is it?!” Harry said hotly. “A life away from your family, away from everyone who loves you. You said you were sorry for leaving.”
“Harry!” Ginny said loudly. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.
“I’m sorry for what my leaving did to the family,” she clarified, “but it was the right thing for me at the time. Even Jack sees that now. Why can’t you?”
“Lily, you should be here. We’re your family.”
“I am very well aware of that, thank you very much!”
“Then perhaps you should start acting like it!”
By now they were both standing up, staring at each other venomously. Dominic and James were standing together in the center of the kitchen. Ginny was standing behind her husband with her hand on his arm, almost holding him back.
“Merlin, you wonder why I don’t come home more often!” Lily cried. “It’s to avoid this!”
“You don’t come home because you don’t want to face your problems!”
“You know what, Dad? Your life isn’t exactly something to be modeled after, so don’t preach to me! Back off!” With that, she turned on her heel and moved to walk out the back door.
“Do not walk away from me!” Harry yelled.
She turned and looked back at him with disgust. “Why not? You taught me how.” With that she walked out the door, slamming it behind her with a loud BANG.
“Oh, Harry,” Ginny sighed warily.
“Were you listening to her?” Harry asked, turning around to face her with a shocked look on his face. “She’s completely out of control!”
“No, Harry, she’s confused. There’s a difference,” Ginny said forcefully. She walked over to her sons who stood stunned a few feet away. “Why don’t you go upstairs and play? I’ll come up in a minute.” The boys nodded meekly and trotted out of the room. Ginny turned back to him with her hands on hips. “Just what are you doing?”
“I’m trying to get through to her!” Harry contended, pointing at the door.
“No, you’re pushing her right out of the door,” she replied calmly.
Harry sank back down into his chair heavily. “It’s just so frustrating. She came back from visiting with Jack today and she was really happy. They’re talking again and they seem to be working things out. I don’t understand why she thinks she needs to be away from us. I want her here. She’s my daughter and I want her home. Is that so much to ask? Why is she so quick to want to go back there?”
“Maybe she’s thinking about coming back, but you pushing her to make that decision now isn’t going to help. She’s trying to decide if there is a place for her here. You’re married now with a young family, and Ron and Hermione have long been set in their life. Jack is the only link she has, and I think she’s afraid to take a leap and leave behind everything she’s worked for unless she knows she and Jack can work things out. If she’s going to come back--which I believe she is--then she’s got to do it on her own. And now you’ve got her all worked up, and we have no idea where she is!”
Harry sighed deeply, leaned his elbows down to his knees and took his head in his hands. He shook his head and mumbled incoherent things for a few seconds before Ginny walked over to him and ran her fingers through his hair.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Harry said quietly. He wrapped his arms around her middle and pressed his face into the fabric covering her stomach.
“I’d better floo Hermione, tell her maybe we should postpone tonight’s outing,” Ginny said finally. She stepped out of her husband’s grasp and walked over to the fireplace. She took a pinch of floo powder and threw it into the fireplace.
In a few moments she was gazing into her sister-in-law’s living room. “Hermione!” she called, looking around the vacant room. She waited a few seconds, and then Jack’s feet walked into the room. His face came into view when he bent down to kneel before the fire place.
“Hey, Aunt Gin! What’s up?” he asked with a smile.
“I was just looking for your mother. Is she around?”
“No, she went out with Dad for something in Hogsmeade. She said they’d be back early because you two were going out,” Jack informed her.
“Can you tell her there might be a change of plans? Harry and Lily got into it and now she’s gone off. We don’t know where she went.”
Jack’s smile faded into a tense frown. “How long has she been gone?”
“Not long, but she was pretty angry when she left here.”
He thought for a minute and looked around the living room. “Ok, I’ll go looking for Lily. I know a few places she might have gone. You go out with Mum and have a good time. Don’t worry about it. Tell Harry I’ll find her.”
“Are you sure, Jack? I mean--”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure,” Jack said seriously.
“Ok, thanks a bunch. Let us know if you can’t find her and need help.”
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem,” Jack said confidently. “Have fun tonight.”
“Ok, thanks. Good luck,” Ginny said before pulling her head back out of the fire.