Will He Return? by annkaro
Chapter 1: CHAPTER I: The Farewell
Chapter 2: CHAPTER II: Helplessly Hopeless
Chapter 3: CHAPTER III: Not a little girl anymore
Chapter 4: CHAPTER IV: Confrontation
Chapter 5: CHAPTER V: Promise
Chapter 6: CHAPTER VI: Obstinacy
Chapter 7: CHAPTER VII: Ready?
Author's Notes: This story is written in first person, and it's from Ginny's point of view. My first story in English,
I really want to thank Rachel (Caroline1981 @ FictionAlley.org) who made this story loads better!!
I'll love you forever!!
I knew it wasn’t over; I knew he did it to protect me, that he still loved me, but…why did I feel so bad? Why did I feel so scared? Why did I feel so insecure? I felt the need to never let him go, but on the other hand, I understood perfectly why he had to do it; he had to finish with that which tormented our lives, which tormented his life.
“It’s been like…like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you…But I can’t…we can’t…I’ve got things to do alone now”* he said, and I wasn’t angry. I told him I already knew that this would happen; that he would run after his parent’s murderer. I told him maybe that’s why I love him so much; his bravery and courage, typical of a Gryffindor.
I saw him stand up and leave, I turned aside and stared the place where Dumbledore’s body laid, the man we all loved, although no one appreciated Dumbledore like him. I turned again to Harry; he was talking with my brother and Hermione, who I loved so much, but he loved them so much more. They had been like his brother and sister; they had been through so much together, and no matter what happens they always found a way to settle their differences.
I never knew what they talked about that day. I thought that would be the last I would see him, but three weeks later, I saw him again in the Burrow, two days before Bill’s and Phlegm’s wedding (I think I should start calling her Fleur). I smiled every time we bumped into each other, and smiled back slightly but walked away. Was this because he doesn’t love me anymore? Has he forgotten me? No, those weren’t the reasons he didn’t want Voldemort to know about us.
He tried to avoid me all the time, but I noticed it was hard for him. I knew it at the wedding. I hardly saw him that morning because Fleur made Gabrielle and I rehearse for hours to ensure everything would be perfect. I saw him at lunch but Mum rushed us to get ready for the ceremony and I couldn’t talk to him.
When the ceremony began, Gabrielle walked down the aisle first, and then I went right behind her. Everyone was looking at us except Harry. After I bowed, I lifted my head and saw Bill, gorgeous despite his illness; he was beaming and I couldn’t help but smile. All of the families and their friends were happy which made us all forgot about Voldemort, at least for the duration of the wedding. I saw the twins fighting over who would take the pictures, in the end mum decided that Charlie would be the one to take them. He smiled at me as he took a picture. Ron and Hermione were smiling too and Hermione leaned over and whispered something into Ron’s ear causing him to nudge Harry in the ribs. He turned and looked at me, while Ron winked and Hermione beamed. Harry and I locked eyes for a few seconds and I noticed he looked delighted but hesitant. I gave him a timid smile. I remember earlier Hermione saying how shocked Harry would be when he saw me, but I thought she was just being nice. But now I knew how right she was.
At the party, everyone was enjoying themselves; they were talking, laughing, dancing and Harry, Ron and Hermione were at the same table, a few feet from me. They were talking, or rather, discussing something. Harry kept saying “no” repeatedly, while Ron and Hermione looked exasperated. After a while, they gave up and quite talking. Fred, George and I were discussing their shop when I saw Ron lean in and say something to Hermione, causing her to blush and smile; she nodded and they stood up and walked to the dance floor. I watched as they danced noticing how happy they looked. I smiled, wishing I could dance like that and be that happy with Harry. I heard someone call my name from behind. I turned and saw that it was Harry; he stood behind me with a determined look on his face and asked me to dance. I agreed and he led me to the dance floor. We danced in silence but I felt him stroke my hair and I held him tightly, never wanting to let him go. I enjoyed the moment and didn’t want to think on the future, of what anything might mean or might come to pass. After several minutes, he stepped back and stared at me with a confused look but I could tell he was a bit scared. Then, he walked away; I saw him go inside the Burrow, leaving me alone on the dance floor.
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Author's Notes: Once again, I want to thank Rachel for the wonderful help!! You rock girl! She should take half credit of this story. She made it loads and loads better.
“Ginny, dear, eat something please!” mum said bringing me back to reality.
“I’m not hungry,” I answered staring the floor.
“Oh dear! You haven’t touched your toast...I don’t want you to be sick!” she said sounding worried.
“Come on little sister,” said George. “You don’t want to starve before going back to Hogwarts!”
“Hogwarts?! Going back to Hogwarts?!” I shouted at him. “How can they let us go back when there’s a war going on?” I asked mom fiercely.
“Well, they decided that if any student wants to return they’ll remain open” she answered apprehensively. I was sure she didn’t want me to return to Hogwarts.
“I think it’s a good idea, Gin,” said Fred. “You should go back to school, distract yourself, hang out with your friends...I dunno, you don’t have pressure from the O.W.L.s now,” he offered.
I didn’t answer him; I didn’t know what to say. Since we said Good-Bye to Dumbledore, I never thought of going back to school; I thought it would close or that nobody would want to go back. Most importantly, I thought parents would not let their children return. I still think it’s the safest place, but many others didn’t agree and I suddenly saw their point of view.
“I don’t know,” I answered after a while “I think you’re right,” I said looking at Fred. I thought about what he said; “I would like to see my friends again, study, and play Quidditch…but on the other hand…" I thought more and then faced my mum “I don’t want to leave you alone...I don’t want to go and make worry, more than you already do,” I said moving beside her and hugging her. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “My dear, it’s ok if you want to go, I’ll be ok,” she said hugging me tightly. “Besides, I won’t be alone. Fleur’s staying while Bill’s...at work.” She always took to saying my brothers were at work rather than that they were helping in the war; I think it made her feel better.
“I have decided it, mom, I’m staying,” I assured her stepping back. “If we have to wait for...anything we’re waiting for, we’ll wait together,” I said apprehensively. I wasn’t sure what to wait for now; I just knew that whatever we were waiting for, it would be a long time before we knew what it was.
“Oh dear!” she cried and held me again in a tight hug.
July 31th, Harry’s birthday.
I spent almost the whole summer trying to find something special for Harry. I didn’t have enough money to buy him anything as expensive as broom, but I thought I could come up with something he would actually like. I tried to ask Ron what Harry like, but he Ron said that as long as it wasn’t something pink and girlie he’d like it. You’re not helping Ron! I thought. Then I asked Hermione, but she was no help either; she told me anything I got him he’d love. I had no idea what to do. I finally had an epiphany on my own merit.
Back on my 15th birthday, dad knocked my door very early in the morning, carrying a small black box. I looked at it suspiciously but before I could ask what it was, he opened it.
“These belonged to your grandfather,” he said showing me the two silver rings that were in the box. “He gave them to me, and I was supposed to give them to my first child to get married, but since you’re the only girl, I thought it would be better if I give them to you,” he said handing me the small box. He explained that the rings were supposed to unit the couple; to set a kind of connection between those who wear them, so nothing could separate them.
How could I be so stupid? That was just perfect!
Yeah, perfect, if he just could be there with me, but he wasn’t. I couldn’t send him a letter either; I didn’t know where he was, and Errol wasn’t smart enough to find him. I wished I had Hedwig as she would have been sure to find him.
August passed quickly and before I knew it, it was my sixteenth birthday. Mum tried to lighten my mood by baking me a huge birthday cake, but I was not in the mood for celebrations; nobody was there except for mum and Fleur.
Dad was always working at the Ministry. Fred and George decided to take a holiday, so they closed shop temporarily and helped dad in any way he needed. Bill didn’t return to Egypt, of course, but he kept helping dad at work, despite Fluer’s and mum’s protests. Charlie helped the best he could from Romania, but he couldn’t leave until he’d found a trustworthy and credible Dragon keeper.
Percy barely spoke to dad when they bumped into one another at the Ministry. I overheard Dad tell mum one night that Percy’s pride kept him from apologizing and rejoining the family. I hoped he truly regretted placing the Ministry before his family and would eventually come round.
Everyday, when dad arrived home, mum looked at him expectant and anxious, but he would shake his head and they both seemed even more sad and disappointed. I didn’t know if I could stand it much longer. Dad and my brothers hardly said a word when they were home; mainly they came and went with barely a hello or goodbye.
On a particularly warm evening in August, a few days before the start of term, mum asked yet again whether or not I wanted to return to school. I told her no having already made my decision; I was staying. I didn’t want to leave her and I needed to know straight away if anything bad happened.
September arrived with more of a chill than usual, but maybe it was just a sign of what was to come.
September flew by just as quickly as August had without any news. I never knew if any of my friends returned to school, or what happened to them. Each day was helpless; our anxiety and worry increased. Fleur, mum, and I sat at the kitchen, unable to think of anything to do or say. Mum cooked dinner at the same time, but dad and the others were always late and it grew cold.
The only thing left to do was wait. For what we didn’t know, but we felt better knowing we were facing it together.
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Author's Notes: Once again, Rachel, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
You rock girl!! I'm glad you enjoy this and I'm not giving much trouble!
Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been excited about Christmas fast approaching, but the war changed all that. We still hadn’t heard from Harry, Ron, or Hermione and I was too anxious to enjoy the gifts, the tree, the mistletow, the food or the snow. Before we knew it, Christmas had passed.
Eight months had passed since the three had left the Burrow, and we still had no news. By February, the Ministry was in chaos; the Minster tried to pretend that all was well and that we had nothing to worry about, but we knew better.
Everyone was scared. No one knew what was happening and many feared they would never see their family return from work. Nobody wanted to leave their house or their gardens; partly from fear, but mostly because it was always cold, rainy, and overcast out.
The Burrow seemed motionless. Everything seemed to pass in slow-motion; there was never any news, and nothing to do. The hours passed slowly and painfully.
Valentine’s Day approached, a day supposed to be happy and full of love. Under normal circumstances, Harry, Ron, Hermione and I could enjoy the holiday together; maybe by a fire sipping on hot chocolate, exchanging gifts (this time around I wouldn’t send Harry a stupid valentine like the one I did my first year; I can’t believe I did that!) and laughing. So long as we were together. But there was the war….
Fleur was always in tears, although she always wiped them away when either mum or I noticed. She was concerned about Bill; he hadn’t fully recovered but he still was helping dad at the Ministry and in the Order. She tried so many times to convince Bill that she would help in the Order; but Bill always resolutely refused. When they argued I understood where she was coming from; she didn’t want to be excluded from Bill’s life anymore than I wanted to be excluded from Harry’s.
Mum wept a lot too. She was worried about dad, all my brothers, including Percy, and especially Ron. We never knew where he was, but the clock always warned us when he was in mortal danger. She was worried about Hermione and Harry; they had been such a part of the family for so long.
Harry’s been a part of the family since his first visit in the Burrow the summer before my first year. I admit I was hopeless around him at the time; I couldn’t even talk to him and I blushed profusely whenever he was around. But since our first meeting, I felt a special connection with him. I couldn’t describe it then and I certainly can’t now. All I know is that despite my efforst to move on with Michael and then with Dean, I realized the connection was growing. Whenever I’m near him, I can feel if something’s wrong; if he’s happy or sad or whatnot; I just know how he feels and what he needs. I don’t know, maybe I’m still hopeless.
Hermione was different. She became my best friend and the sister I never had. She was what I needed and I was what she needed; a confident. She truly is my sister. She helped me a lot; she gave me advice and helped me to be myself around Harry. There’s a reason she’s his best friend; she knows him through and through.
Since the day of their departure, I never cried again; I felt the need of keep my strength for them, but I can’t deny that I was scared, awfully scared.
There they were, whispering in the kitchen. Why did they do that? Why did they leave me out every time they talked about Harry, Ron, and Hermione? Did they think I wasn’t aware of what they were talking about? Did they think I wasn’t old enough to be part of that, to understand the seriousness of the situation? I was tired; tired of being treated like a little girl, tired of them trying to hide things from me. I knew they wanted to protect me, but hiding the truth from me wasn’t the solution.
Their voices were almost inaudible, but I heard perfectly the last thing dad said: “...They found the last one.” Mum started to cry as soon as she heard that and I knew the reason; I knew dad was talking about the last Horcrux. That meant that next they would have to confront him; or rather, Harry would have to confront him.
An intense fear ran throughout my whole body; the moment had arrived, the moment that I dreaded; the possibility that I wouldn’t be able to see or talk to them again. I wouldn’t be able to tell them how much I love them; I wouldn’t be able to tell him how much I love him. I wouldn’t see Harry’s smile, I wouldn’t look into his eyes, I wouldn’t feel his hand on mine, and I wouldn’t be in his arms. Worse, I wouldn’t get to see him enjoy the life that he deserves.
I slammed the door so hard that mum almost fell out of her chair.
“Where are they?!” I cut mum off before she could say anything else.
“Ginny, dear, calm down please...”
“I don’t want calm down!” I yelled at dad “Where are they?” I was breathing hard.
“Who?” asked mum as though she didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Please mum, you know perfectly who I’m talking about! Where are they?” I said slowly.
Neither said anything for a while. I just stood there waiting for their answers, looking back and forth between them. I was upset, I knew it wasn’t their fault, but in that moment I didn’t care.
“All right” said dad with a long sigh.
“But Arthur!” protested mom with tears in her eyes. “She’s just a child”
“No Molly,” said dad placing his hand on her shoulder. “I know it’s hard to accept it, but it’s the truth. She’s not a little girl anymore, she has a right to know; Ron, Hermione and...Harry” he said with a slight smile. Mom just nodded slightly while she wiped her tears away.
It took him hours to explain everything. I was both amazed and terrified to everything they’d had to do; they had went through a lot. I didn’t know whether dad told me everything or not, especially when it came to injuries, but he did answer all of my questions which made me feel a part of what was happening at last.
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Author's Notes: Much love to my beutiful beta, Rachel! You know I'll be grateful to you forever!!
I had heard of Godric’s Hollow a few times it was where Harry lived with his parents, but I didn’t know where it was until the next morning. I was going downstairs when I overheard Fred and George through their bedroom door. They were muttering excitedly, which meant that they were up to something; I leaned against the door to hear better.
“So there it is... Are you sure?” asked Fred.
“Yeah, I’ve checked twice,” answered George.
“So, we just Apparate?”
“No, we can’t... We have to Apparate here, by this road, and then we go down the hill,” George explained. It sounded as though he was scratching a piece of paper.
“Ok, see you there,” said Fred.
“Yeah, see you there,” replied George.
A crack indicated that they had just left. I waited a few minutes before entering the room; I glanced around and I saw a piece of paper on George’s desk. I moved toward the desk and took the paper; I examined it, and to my surprise, it was a map of Grodric’s Hollow! I squinted at the map and noticed a tiny red dot with the word “Here” below. I knew that was the place George was talking about because down the hill was Harry’s parent’s house. I smiled stowing the paper in my pocket then heading to my room. I grabbed my coat out of my closet and put it on and then I realized that I had no idea how to get there. My smile faded as I sat down on my bed and moaned.
“Who am I kidding? I’ll never get there!” I said leaning back on my bed, exhaling loudly. “I can’t Apparate!” I closed my eyes to think. “Think Ginny, think!” I said rubbing my forehead.
Well, I couldn’t Apparate because I wasn’t of age and I couldn’t go by floo because the Ministry was supervising all networks. I couldn’t ask someone to take me there and I couldn’t take the Knight Bus because it wasn’t operating anymore. What could I do? I rolled onto my side to stare the window, and I noticed something glittering in the sunlight through the window. I saw that it was a tiny bottle from my broomstick kit.
“Broomstick! I could get by broomstick!" I exclaimed excited.
I didn’t stop to consider whether this was a good idea or not.
I got my broomstick, and headed downstairs into the garage where dad kept all of his belongings, and looked for a map. When I finally found one, I squinted it and, with dad’s quill, I scribbled my way from Ottery St. Catchpole to Godric’s Hollow. I went out to the garden where I saw mum sitting on a bench reading. I hated to leave like that, but I had to. I slipped out of her sight, hopped onto my broomstick and flew away.
“Ginny!” cried Hermione when I entered to the living room. She dropped the book she’d been reading. “What are you doing here? It’s great to see you again!” She said outstretching her arms to hug me “I missed you! It’s nice to have a girlfriend to talk with once in while,” she said breaking away and smiling brightly.
“I missed you too, Hermione,” I replied smiling.
“So, how did you get here? You came along the twins, didn’t you? They’re so mean! They didn’t tell me you were coming,” she said sounding offended. “Anyway, I’m happy you’re here,” she said smiling again.
“Thanks Hermione!” I said cheerfully “I’m happy to see you again”
“Fred and George were about to leave,” she frowned. “They went with Ron to his room to get some papers and then they were going back to the Burrow,” she explained. “They’re going to leave you!” she exclaimed. “Come on, let’s go find them...” before I could say anything she picked up her book and left the room so quickly that I could barely keep up with her.
“Odd, they said they’d be here,” she said when we entered to Ron’s room. “Well, maybe they went downstairs to the kitchen or maybe they’re with...” Hermione froze.
“What’s wrong?” I asked confused. She wheeled around, looking astonished.
“Ginny...” she whispered. “Harry!... This is not good! He wouldn’t want to see you here...It’s not that he really wouldn’t but...” she mumbled quickly and nervously.
“It’s ok, Hermione...I know” I said trying to calm her down. She nodded unconvinced.
“I think I should...go find Ron,” she mumbled as she left the room. I was right behind her when someone entered the room blocking the way out.
“Ron, what did you do to Herm...?” It was Harry. “Ginny...” He whispered when he saw me. He dropped the scrolls of parchment in his right hand. “What are you doing here?! Why did you come?! What were you thinking?! Are you insane?!” he yelled then slammed the door. I looked at him with disbelief.
“Hello Ginny! It’s wonderful to see you again! I really missed you,” I said imitating his voice. “Why, Harry! Thank you! I really missed you too,” I said sarcastically.
“Ginny, please...there’s no need for sarcasm,” he hissed turning away to face the wall behind him.
“Well Harry, I thought you’d be happy to see me,” I said trying to find his eyes. “At least you could pretend to be happy...”
“It’s not that,” he muttered.
“So what is it?” I asked stepping forward.
He didn’t say anything for a while; he didn’t turn around either. I stood, silently waiting for his answer, still trying to find his eyes.
“You...I...” he stuttered. “Why did you come?” he said recovering himself. I didn’t say anything; I just stood there with my arms crossed. “Why did you come?” he demanded raising his voice. “Why did you risk it? To help me? I’m sick of sacrifices! Why is everyone sacrificing themselves for me? I’m tired of telling Hermione and Ron that they have to leave, that I have to do this on my own, but they won’t leave!” he yelled. “Why did you come? You could have been hurt, you could have died,” he whispered closing his eyes.
“Harry,” I said reaching for his shoulder.
“Don’t, Ginny...don’t,” he said moving away.
“Harry, I know you don’t want me here, but please understand...”
“No you understand!” he snapped then turned quickly away.
“What is it that I have to understand?!” I asked fiercely.
“How did you get here? How did you know where we were?” he asked avoiding my question.
“I asked dad,” I answered simply. He looked angry enough to smash something.
“So they know you’re here,” he said trying to hide his anger unsuccessfully.
I didn’t answer right away. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth; he might tell my parents where I was, but I then realized they might know already.
“No, they don’t...”
“WHAT?!” he burst out, turning around to face me “Damn it! Ginny, what the hell were you thinking?” he muttered through clenched teeth. “What am I saying?” he snorted. “You weren’t thinking...! Coming here alone who the hell knows how, without telling anyone! You were NOT thinking...AT ALL!!” he shouted. “You’re completely insane! Your parents must be damn worried and you put yourself in such danger...ugh!” he kicked the wall furious. It must have hurt because he winced.
I understood what he really meant when he said all that, but in that moment I felt so offended that I barely notice.
“You think so? That I’m irresponsible, that I’m thoughtless...? The least you can do is to turn around and say it to my face!” I yelled. “Turn around and look at me!” I demanded.
“I can’t...” he muttered.
“Why not? You just said it! Why can’t just repeat it to my face?” I was so upset. “Turn around!” I demanded again.
“I can’t!” he repeated raising his voice.
“Because,” he started in the same tone, “when I see you I can’t help but want to kiss you,” he breathed resting his forehead on the wall.
“I’ll take the risk,” I said lifting my chin and challenging him.
“But I won’t...I won’t,” he said grimly.
“Why not, Harry?” I asked for the third time moving toward him.
“You bloody well know why not!” he yelled. I stared at him, not flinching; he seemed as though he wanted to curse someone.
“Yes Harry, I bloody well know why, but that doesn’t mean I accept it!” I said raising my voice again. “You think I’m out of danger without you, do you? Well Harry, I don’t think so. Right here, at the Burrow, at Hogwarts, at the Ministry, everywhere is dangerous. So what’s the difference?! I’d rather be in danger with you rather than apart from you, but it seems you don’t care about that.” He didn’t move or say anything. I really wanted to be with him, to comfort him but he wouldn’t let me. He just stood there, mute and motionless. “Ugh...this is pointless,” I said walking toward the door. “I’ll go see Hermione, at least she’s happy to see me,” I said putting a great deal of emphasis on the phrase.
I was about to open the door when something stopped me.
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Author's Notes: Thank you to all the readers and reviewers!! I hope you're emjoying this!!
Whether you like this or not, please review and let me know what you liked and what you didn't.
Chapter full of Harry&Ginny-ness! ;)
Much Love to my beutiful beta, Rachel!! You rock girl! Gracias!! ;D
Harry put his hand on my shoulder and wheeled me around, placing his hands on my face and the next thing I knew, he kissed me. He kissed me with a sudden, painful intensity. I slumped against the closed door, giving in. I shut my eyes and flung my arms around him and his tongue found its way to mine; I shifted my head deepening the kiss. He slid his hands to my lower back and pulled me closer. We were giving each other what we had longed for in the past months; everything was in that kiss; we were one; our hearts, our souls, our minds...our breath. The kiss only ended when we needed to breathe.
“I really missed you,” he said breathlessly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on mine.
“You better!” I sneered. He frowned and moved slightly away. “I’m just kidding! I missed you too,” I said grinning. Then he leaned in and gave me a soft kiss.
“Do I really sound like that?” he asked resting his forehead on mine again.
“Like what?” I asked sliding my right hand to stroke his unruly hair.
“Hello Ginny! It’s wonderful to see you again! I really missed you,” he said; I closed my eyes and snorted.
“No, you sound a lot better,” I whispered. He held me in a tight hug, resting his chin on my head.
I leaned on his shoulder tightening the embrace even more; I wouldn’t let him go, not this time. I felt so happy; Harry was there and most importantly, he was with me.
“I love you, Harry,” I said. Before I knew it, before I could stop it, I started to cry.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked stroking my hair.
“Nothing...it’s just...I’m happy you’re here with me,” I mumbled weeping. He kissed the top of my head.
“I’m happy you’re here, too,” He replied rocking me.
“Harry,” I sniffed, “don’t go...please, don’t go.”
“Hey, I’m right here,” he said stepping away and gently lifting my face. “I’m not going anywhere, ok?” he said soothingly. “I’m here for you...I’d wish I could have been there for you before,” he said tucking my hair behind my ear and wiping away my tears.
“You were,” I said griping his hand. “You always have been there for me...and you will be there for me, won’t you? Please don’t go!” I begged.
He frowned trying to figure out what I really meant; then he gathered me into his arms.
“Ginny, if you’re talking about the war, you know I have to...”
“I know!” I said raising my voice. “I know,” I repeated more calmly. “I’m not talking about that, I know you have to do it...It’s just that...I couldn’t s-stand...if you...if y-you...d-died,” I stuttered shivering. “Please don’t go!” I begged in vain.
“Ginny,” he said as he caressed my face, “everything will be fine.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right here...come what may,” he said pulling me into another hug.
“Harry, promise me that you’ll return,” I whispered with a sniff. “Promise me that you will find him and defeat him and that you will return to me.”
He didn’t answer right away; maybe he didn’t know how to respond. Instead of saying anything, he kissed the top of my head and rocked me softly. I stepped away.
“Harry, please,” I begged, “promise me you will come back.” He looked at me expressionless for a second and then he smiled.
“Of course I will,” he said bending to rest his forehead on mine. “I will come back...I promise” he whispered as he interlaced his fingers with mine. “You can’t get rid of me that easy,” he said grinning. I laughed lowering my head.
“Harry,” I whispered, “you love me, don’t you?” I wasn’t sure why but at that moment I needed to hear him say that he loved me; he’d never actually said it to me before. He stared at me for a long time and suddenly I knew without a doubt that he did indeed love me. I saw it in his eyes, but still he didn’t say it. instead he leaned in and kissed me fiercely.
“Harry,” I breathed, “Please...I need to hear....do you love me?” I asked again. I needed to hear him say it.
“I...I lov--I do,” he stuttered and sighed. “I know that wasn’t very convincing it’s just...it’s just hard to say it...but I do feel it...”
“Then say it, Harry. I need to hear it.” He took a long breath and smiled.
“I do, Ginny, I love you,” he said sincerely. “I love you, Gin.” I smiled.
“I love you, Harry,” I said beaming with watery eyes.
“I love you,” he said bending to give me a playful kiss. “I love you.” He kissing the tip of my nose. “I love you.” he kissed my forehead. “I love you.” He kissed each of my cheeks. “I love you.” He kissed my jaw. “I love you.” he kissed my neck and his kisses became less playful and more passionate; I moaned with pleasure.
“Harry,” I muttered closing my eyes, “we can’t...we shouldn’t...”
“We shouldn’t what?” he said grinning as he kissed me softly on the lips. He let go of my right hand and took his wand from his pocket as I slid my free hand up his back. He muttered the charm to lock the door without removing his mouth from mine. I felt him reach around and replace his wand in his pocket; then he slid his hands around my waist and pulled me backwards as he walked towards the bed. I didn’t hesitate, and willingly followed. He stopped by the side of the bed, removing his coat, still not breaking the kiss. He reached for my coat and started to unbutton it; I helped him pull it off my shoulders and throw it to the ground. We sat down on the bed and kissed longer, more intensely, the passion building. I followed as he leaned down, his head resting on the pillows and then he shifted and suddenly he was on top of me.
What happened next? Did we rush into it? Was it bad timing? Maybe, but I don’t regret it. It felt so natural; neither of us felt as though we were doing anything wrong and it was the most beautiful moment of my life...
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Author's Notes: Thanks to all readers and reviewers!
Please, please, pretty please, let me know whether you like this story or not, it'll mean a lot to me!
Much love to my beutiful, dedicated and talented beta, Rachel! Thank you!
I had a nightmare that night. Harry was dead; murdered by Tom Riddle. Maybe I dreamt that because I remember him like that, as Tom; he made my first year so hard. I trusted him and he betrayed and used me.
In the dream he made me write in the diary, where Harry was. I didn’t want to tell him at first but then he tortured my whole family, including Hermione. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I told him; and before I could warn Harry, Tom murdered him.
How could I do that? Even if it was a dream, I couldn’t believe I did that! I’d rather die than betray anyone I loved.
I woke up suddenly breathing hard, feeling even worse when I realized Harry wasn’t there. I turned and, to my relief (I let out a breath I’d been holding), saw Harry standing by the window and staring out; he seemed so far away.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he said. His voice seemed distant.
“You didn’t,” I said putting on my coat as I slipped off the bed. I walked next to him. “What are you doing out of bed? Is still dark outside,” I said trying to find his eyes and caressing the back of his head with my left hand.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he answered with a long sigh. I frowned; there was something strange in his eyes; sadness, perhaps.
“Harry,” I said lifting my hand and caressing his face, “Is there something wrong?” He sighed and opened his eyes.
“No, there’s nothing wrong,” he answered but I wasn’t convinced.
“Harry, please, I know there’s something wrong...you don’t look good,” I said withdrawing my hand.
He didn’t answer right away; he just stared out the window, his eyes focused on nothing.
“Harry, you know you can trust me,” I said trying to encourage him.
“I know,” he said.
“What’s wrong?” I asked placing a hand in his shoulder.
“It’s just that...” he sighed, “I don’t know what to expect. You know, it’s not like...It’s not like school. If I fail an exam, it doesn’t matter...if I don’t catch the snitch...the other team wins but it doesn’t matter...even if the winning team is Slytherin...It doesn’t matter!...Everything seems insignificant...we can’t pretend that everything’s alright. This is it, and it’s me who has to do it...not my parents, not Sirius, not Dumbledore...but me...I can’t run or hide anymore. They died because of me.” He was breathing hard. He closed his eyes. “I have to do this...but how?” He turned to face me. “How? How do I destroy him? There’s just one chance. I can’t fail...because if I fail then it does matter!” he said raising his voice. “What am I supposed to do? Attack him with Expeliarmus? I’ve already destroyed the horcruxes, now what? How am I supposed to defeat him? How, Ginny?” He looked at me waiting for an answer but I didn’t know what to say. How did I know how he could destroy him? If I knew I’d have told him already. I just looked at him; I didn’t know what to say or what to do. He looked so helpless and I knew there was nothing I could do to help. All I could do was stay with him.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He sighed as he stared out the window again. “Of course you don’t know”
“Maybe I don’t know how you can destroy him but I know something for certain,” I said taking his hand. “You are not alone. We’re here with you...Ron, Hermione, the Order,” as I said the names he shook his head slowly. “Yes, Harry,” I said squeezing his hand harder. “We’re with you! I know you have to do this alone but you have us!” I said raising my voice as he kept shaking his head.
“NO!” he yelled. “You’re NOT going!” He faced me as he let go of my hand.
“Yes we are!” I yelled. “Do you think after all this time, Ron and Hermione would just let you go off alone? Do you?!” I asked him.
He didn’t answer; he just stared out the window grimly.
“See! You won’t answer me because you know I’m right!” I said. “You know you can’t stop them...you WON’T stop them!” I wanted to say, 'You won’t stop me,' but I knew that would have upset him even more.
He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the window breathing hard. I tried to take his hand again but I knew he wouldn’t let me; he needed space.
“Harry, please understand that we want to help you,” I said moving forward.
“I know!” he said with his eyes still closed. “But I don’t want you to go...you can’t go,” he sighed.
“YOU CAN’T GO!” he yelled facing me, then rapidly turned away.
“You can’t decide that,” I challanged him. “We’re as obstinate as you are...no, we’re not. No one is as obstinate as you are...obstinate and impulsive!” he turned to me with a look of disbelief on his face.
“So now I’m obstinate and impulsive?! That’s what you think?!” he asked moving toward me. “If I’m not wrong, impulse made me kiss you the first time! Tell me you didn’t like that!”
“Harry...I did like it, I loved it. What I’m saying is that sometimes, in some situations, you have to think think before you act. You could have killed Malfoy in the bathroom with that curse!” I explained.
“I could have killed Malfoy?!” he repeated with disbelief. “First you tell me I’m impulsive, then you’re worried because I could have killed Malfoy? What next? You’re going to tell me that you like him?!” he asked sarcastically.
“NO!” I exclaimed exasperated. “Harry, you’re so...” I was going to say 'impossible' but I decided against it.
“I’m what?” he demanded. “I’m obstinate, impulsive, what else?”
“Harry, listen,” I said trying to calm down. “I know why you’re trying to keep us out of this...and it’s the same reason we want to go...I want to go with you!”
“What’s the reason according to you?” he asked fiercely.
I waited a minute or so before answering; he didn’t change his expression.
“The only reason there is...love,” I answered softly and his expression changed. He turned away and stared at the floor.
“Love,” he snorted after a few minutes. “My parents died because they loved me; Sirius died because he loved me; Dumbledore told me that the advantage I have over Voldemort is love and now he’s dead!” he yelled turning toward me again. “I don’t want Ron or Hermione or anyone else to die...I don’t want you to die, Ginny,” he said lowering his voice. “I couldn’t forgive myself if any of you died.” he sighed as he sat on the bed.
I didn’t want to upset him but I couldn’t agree. I wanted to go with him, I needed to go with him. I couldn’t forgive myself if he died and I’d just let him go.
“Harry,” I said moving toward him. “I’m sorry...but you can’t change the past and you can’t change our feelings...They loved you, Ron and Hermione love you and I love you...you can’t change that,” I said placing my hand in his arm. “Don’t you see that I couldn’t forgive myself if you died and I didn’t do anything to stop it!?” I asked under my breath. “Nobody wants you to die, nobody wants to die...but if I have to, I would die for you,” I said resolutely.
“Why?!” he asked standing up suddenly. “Why, Ginny?!”
“I already told you!” I answered raising my voice.
He groaned as he kicked the bureau and then walked toward the door. “No matter what I say you’re still going?” he asked not looking at me.
“Yes,” I said staring at the floor. I heard him call me stubborn before slamming the door.
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Author's Notes: Thanks to all readers and reviewers!
Oh, I'm almost in the end! There are three chapter to go!!
Much love to my beutiful, dedicated and talented beta, Rachel! Thank you!
I was sitting on the windowsill staring out; the sky was clearing up, and birds were singing and flying. It seemed as though everything was normal. I was about to open the window when I heard the door open slowly.
“Come in, Hermione,” I said when I saw her.
“What happened? We just saw Harry storming off to backyard,” she said sitting beside me.
“Hermione, don’t pretend you didn’t hear us...or rather, that you didn’t hear him because he wasn’t very quiet,” I said taking a cushion beside me.
“Well, I can’t lie to you,” she answered. “I was trying to talk to Ron about...” she suddenly stopped and blushed; I looked at her suspiciously.
“What? About what?” I asked grinning as she reddened but she quickly changed the subject.
“Never mind. We heard Harry yelling and Ron wanted to tell him that you’re right, but I convinced him that it’s something between you and Harry, so we went outside for a walk...” she reddened and quickly added, “you know, just to give you some privacy.”
“Yeah, privacy,” I said laughing.
“Anyway, a few minutes later he was outside...he looked furious,” she said looking worried “What happened?” she asked again. My smile faded as I hugged the cushion to my chest and stared at the floor.
“You heard him; he doesn’t want us to go with him but I told him I was going anyway and he got mad,” I said.
“You know he’s acting like that because he cares about us; about you specially,” she said placing her hand in my shoulder. I looked at her.
“Hermione, why he can’t see that I care about him just as much and that’s why I’m going?” I asked.
“He does, he does see it; but it’s hard for him to believe that we actually love him, that we care about him. He thinks that he’s just a boy with the misfortune of being the chosen one. He doesn’t want all those sacrifices, although is not a sacrifice for any of us. He thinks that he doesn’t deserve us,” she explained.
“But he does deserve us!” I said. “He deserves a family, friends...love!” I said throwing the cushion aside. “Why, Hermione? Why is he like this?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Harry is...Harry!” she said laughing.
“Yeah, he sure is,” I said smiling. “I don’t want to lose him,” I said my smile fading.
“I know,” she said caressing my arm. “I don’t want to lose him either; that’s why we’re going.”
“But, how? Hermione, How are we going to help him?” I asked. “He doesn’t know what to do,” I said hopelessly.
“Don’t worry, I’m not sure yet but I think we’ve found something that might help us; it’s very ancient magic, and I need to do some more research to be completely sure it will work,” she said.
“But...What it is? How does it work?” I asked curiously.
“Well, it’s complicated because this spell will allow us to help Harry but not physically,” she explained.
“With this spell we’re going to give him all our power, all our magic...we’re going to protect him with all our energy,” she explained.
“That means we can’t fight alongside him?” I asked.
“Indeed, we can’t be with him physically,” she answered.
“Is it going to work? Voldemort will be...gone?”
“Well...” she said turning slightly away.
“What?” I asked.
“There’s a problem with this spell,” she said lowly. “Our objective is to destroy Voldemort, so when Harry defeats Voldemort all our energy will come back to us but...Harry may or may not survive,” she said sadly. “All that energy that will protect him could be too much for him. Voldemort will die, a simple Expelliarmus could make him die, but Harry...”
“Might not live,” I finished for her in low voice. “Are you sure?” I asked in a whisper.
“Well, ninety-nine percent,” she answered. “But there’s a chance he will make it. I believe in Harry’s strength; he’s a great wizard and I’m sure he can control all that energy and survive,” she said hopefully.
“Does he know?” I asked.
“Well...yes, he does and he’s not exactly enthusiastic about it,” she answered. “He doesn’t want us to do it. He doesn’t want to leave us defenseless and he insists there must be another way, but we’ve searched and searched and this is it,” she said. “We have to do this, we can’t leave him defenseless.”
“But, what do we do? He’s so...stubborn!” I exclaimed.
“Ron’s talking with him, maybe he can persuade him,” she said not sounding very convinced.
“I hope so,” I replied. “You know what? We should do it anyway, whether he agrees to it or not; we just tell him that we’re doing this and that we’re not asking for his permission,” I said firmly. “I know it sounds wrong but it’s for his own good, Hermione,” I added when I saw the expression on her face.
“I know, but...Are we ready for this? I mean, it’s very ancient magic and it’s complicated...What if something goes wrong?” she said a little scared.
“Hermione, I don’t want to die...I’m only sixteen! I’m not sure if I’m ready for this, but...it’s Harry...I won’t leave him alone. I would die for him...there’s no room for doubt,” I explained determinedly.
“You’re right; we’re doing this for Harry,” she said. “But, what if...”
“Hermione, you’re the brightest witch I’ve ever known!” I exclaimed, “Everything is going to be fine, you’ll figure it out,” I assured her and she smiled slightly.
“Thank you,” she muttered.
“Let’s do this!” I said standing and grabbing her hand.
“What?! Now?!” she asked shocked. “Can’t we wait?”
“Hermione! We can’t!” I shouted “Voldemort won’t wait, we don’t have much time...you have to teach us, we have to practice...we have to be ready when the moment arrives!” I said exasperated.
“Okay, okay; I get the point! Just calm down,” she said standing up.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“Don’t worry,” she smiled. “Come on, let’s find Harry and Ron.” She grabbed my hand and led me to the door.
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