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Stoicism (and the Breakdown of...) | ||||||
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Category: Post-HBP Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Romance Warnings: Sexual Situations Story is Complete Rating: R Reviews: 61 Summary: COMPLETED. When something hurts too much, when it distracts you from your purpose, it's better to push it away--right? A short story about Harry and Ginny's journey after Dumbledore's funeral. Sometimes, happiness just has to wait. Hitcount: Story Total: 37801; Chapter Total: 5668 |
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Ginny stood on the outer ledge of the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts, her wand tapping impatiently against a black leather-clad thigh. A fierce wind was whipping her long red hair around her face but she hardly noticed the stinging cold in her cheeks. It was September 1st and what was normally a happy day for Hogwarts was overshadowed by tension and preparations for battle. Ginny imagined that she could almost hear the castle sighing in the absence of its students. McGonagall had been forced to close the school when Harry, Ron and Hermione had shown up at the Burrow two weeks ago with the news they had discovered plans that Voldemort intended to attack Hogwarts at the beginning of the school year. In a meeting Professor McGonagall had insisted Ginny be allowed to attend, Harry had informed a few select members of the Order of the Phoenix that Voldemort was mortal again and could be killed. He hadn’t explained how the three of them had accomplished this task but the implications of his announcement had hung over the group. Ginny had felt something like hope creep into her mind but she ruthlessly stamped out the notion. There was no time for anything other than remembering her defence training. She and Harry were better at being around each other than last time they’d been forced to occupy the same space. It’d been over a year, and both of them had become so practiced in ignoring their feelings for each other, they did it without thinking about it anymore. It was so effortless Ginny was sure they’d fooled even their closest friends and family. Harry’s eyes glossed over her now without lingering, and Ginny’s breathing was even and controlled when his body came within inches of hers. They communicated indirectly now, instead of with their facial expressions. Ron and Hermione had no idea they were being used to pass messages. Ginny had told Hermione she was reasonably sure the recently expanded Order had a few spies in it, knowing her friend would pass the information along to Harry. They were being watched every second and could not afford to let their guard slip now. Ron had told her that she and Hermione were to stick together when they went about the castle, and she suspected this was Harry’s way of telling her that he wasn’t going to try and get her alone. Voldemort was coming–she could feel it. In a few hours, the ground of Hogwarts would be alive with battle, and Ginny would be in the thick of it. She was determined to watch Harry’s back so that he survived long enough to get to Voldemort. She heard a footfall behind her and spun around to find Professor McGonagall standing motionless, her eyes fixed on the wand Ginny had pointed at her nose. “Sorry, Professor,” she said, lowering her wand. Her professor smiled at her. “It’s all right, Ginny. I’d have done the same thing.” She stepped up on the ledge to stand next to Ginny and surveyed the grounds. She sighed. Ginny didn’t have to ask what was troubling her teacher, and they stood together, silent in their own reflections. Finally, her professor spoke. “Ginny,” she began quietly. “I think you should speak with Harry.” Ginny stiffened. Speaking with Harry was the LAST thing she wanted to do. Professor McGonagall put a hand on her arm and said urgently, “You can’t fool me, even if you’ve fooled everyone else.” She turned back towards the lake, her eyes searching for something but Ginny couldn’t tell what it was. “Trust me on this, dear, you don’t want your first and last words to be said to each other on the battlefield, right before something horrible happens.” She squeezed Ginny’s arm and stepped back off the ledge. With a final smile at her protégé, the Professor left the room, leaving Ginny alone with her thoughts. How long, Ginny wondered, did one continue the charade of indifference she and Harry had concocted? Voldemort was coming now; the end was in sight. Harry would either kill him or not. It was kill or be killed. So, it their last chance to love or be loved. Ginny turned towards the door, a sudden urgency in her heart–she would chose love; and she would not hide behind their reasons any longer. It was time to be selfish. ****** Harry methodically fastened up the dragon hide jacket the Order had provided for those who would be fighting. The hide would protect him from minor spells and hexes. The plan was simple: meet the Death Eaters head on and retreat to the castle if necessary. Madame Pomfrey was standing by in the hospital wing ready to receive wounded, and all the passages into the castle had been blocked. He stood up and surveyed the Great Hall. It was full of members of the Order, Ministry Aurors and members of the DA that Ginny had reformed during the last school year. There were too few of them, he knew, but there was little he could do about it at this point. What was coming would come and he was going to do everything he could to make sure it ended here. Ron walked up to him, a serious expression on his face and slapped him on the shoulder. “I’ve got your back, mate,” he said. “No,” Harry said sharply. “You and Hermione, you’ve got to take care of each other.” Ron was already shaking his head. “Hermione and I will both watch your back, mate; someone has got to make sure you make it to that bastard so you can finish this.” “Actually, I’m going to do that,” a clear voice said from them. Harry turned to see Ginny behind them, hands on her hips. Black dragon-hide leather stretched over her torso, arms and legs and her long red hair was tied back in a tightly wound bun. She looked like a warrior princess. She stepped towards them with an almost sinuous grace, the leather moving with her like a second skin. Harry noticed two wands poking out of holsters on her upper thigh and forearm and remembered the way she had wielded them as extensions of both arms in Diagon Alley. Ginny faced her brother. “It’s for me,” she told him firmly. “You and Hermione have to protect each other. You’re a team. I’ll watch Harry’s back.” Ron opened his mouth to protest but Hermione, who had come up behind him, placed a hand on his shoulder, silencing him. Harry’s eyes met Ginny’s, a clear question being asked in them. Ginny lifted a trembling hand to cup Harry’s cheek. “It’s time I think, to stop pretending,” she whispered, her eyes boring into his. “Whatever happens out there, you’re going to need me to get through it.” Harry felt a crack appear in the shell he’d placed around his heart. It appeared the moment she touched him and it spread like a spider web, breaking open parts of him that he’d kept locked up. He understood in one bright moment what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. His power was love. The power to love and be loved in return. The love he and Ginny shared–that was the power that Voldemort would never understand. How could he lose when the power of Ginny’s love would be protecting him? “I’m not going to be your weakness,” she said in a low voice. “I’m going to be your strength.” She stepped closer to him and lifted another hand, gripping his face in her small hands. “But you have to remember your promise to make the right choice,” she whispered. He nodded. “I will,” he said, his eyes searching hers. “But you have to promise to remember how much I utterly adore you.” The words released something inside of him, and he wanted to whisper them over and over again to her as they lay together in a more peaceful setting. He wanted to say the three words he’d longed to tell her for over a year but he remembered when she’d said they shouldn’t say those things until they could finish them. Ginny smiled at him and stepped back. “I’ve never forgotten.” Ron and Hermione stood by, their mouths open in shock. Harry almost laughed at the expressions on their face. He should probably say something; explain to them how it was that he and Ginny were suddenly so close after months of pretending they didn’t care. His friends didn’t know that it had all been planned. Instead, he decided to act as if nothing was unusual. “Don’t look so surprised,” he said, a smile twitching the corners of his mouth. “She’s an excellent fighter you know. We’ll be fine together.” The castle shook and McGonagall’s voice was heard throughout the Hall. “The wards are coming down,” she said. “They are here.” |
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