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She Hasn't Always Been This Way | ||||
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Category: Post-OotP Characters:None Genres: Songfic Warnings: None Story is Complete Rating: G Reviews: 3 Summary: Harry thinks about his relationship with Ginny, and how it has changed. Hitcount: Story Total: 5012 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. |
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She Hasn’t Always Been This Way By: The Iceman Harry Potter sat in his favourite armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room staring at the fire. Anyone looking at him would have though that he was brooding over the latest reports of Death Eater attacks plaguing the British Magical community. It would be a logical assumption since everyone was thinking about it to some extent, and Harry always seemed to be involved with the trouble caused by Voldemort and his minions. The truth, however, was much less sinister. Gazing into the low-burning flames Harry was thinking about Ginny Weasley. The younger sister of his best mate, she had grown into the most beautiful young woman he had ever seen. Sure, there were pretty girls who kept trying to catch his eye as he walked through the halls of the castle, and he did notice. Everyone close to him though he had the emotional range of a thimble, much like Ron, but he just didn’t want the extra attention Besides, the only thought that seemed to be in his head as he looked at these girls was how they paled compared to Ginny. They weren’t as pretty, didn’t have the same zest for life, and definitely didn’t have the same sense of humour. Harry sighed again, thinking of how unfair things were. Ginny had gotten over him shortly before he had fallen hard for her. Now she seeing someone, though he couldn’t recall the bloke’s name just now. There were a lot of them, but they never lasted. He just wished that he could have come to his senses before it was too late. Years ago, when Harry had gone to the Burrow for the first time, Ginny was a little girl with a crush on him that caused him embarrassment every time he though of her. He himself was just a boy of 12 and couldn’t deal with it properly. Of course, his upbringing with his horrid Muggle relatives left him ill equipped to deal with ANY emotional event. He smiled slightly thinking of the time she was staring at him and accidentally put her elbow in the butter dish while trying to remain inconspicuous. There was another time when he was about to enter the kitchen when he looked in to see Ginny and her mom sitting at the table having a Butterbeer together. Ginny had a foam mustache from the frothy drink, which made the freckles on her nose stand out all the more, and caused Harry to smile with delight, though she never knew he had seen that. That time was long past however. Now the blokes in school were all trying to catch her eye. She did go out with some of them, but they never lasted. They always ended up as just another guy who had gone out with Ginny. Harry had a slight bit of satisfaction knowing that they were hurting from losing her. At least they had had a chance, which he had foolishly passed up. Now he could have kicked himself for not realizing what an amazing girl he was overlooking. Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by someone entering the portrait hole. He knew that laugh, would know it even far in the future on his deathbed (IF he made it that far, of course!), and cherished the sound of it. Ginny was walking with a girl from her year whose name Harry didn’t know. They were both smiling and laughing, talking away carefree. How Harry wished he were the one walking with Ginny! He would have his arm around her waist, pulling her firmly to him. She would have her head leaning on his shoulder. They would be smiling, laughing, talking, and kissing as if nobody else were around. Ron might not like it, but he and Hermione were rather cozy since they had gotten together the previous year. He would just have to get used to seeing his sister and best mate cuddling up to each other. Harry shook his head and looked away before he was caught. He didn’t want to make Ginny uneasy if she happened to glance in his direction. He knew she wouldn’t be looking at him, but she might still catch sight of him and be upset that he was staring. Besides, he had to stop himself from thinking about it too much. He knew he didn’t have a chance, and it was just that much more painful to think about how grand it would be, then be brought crashing back to reality in a heartbeat. While he was at the Burrow, or even at school, with Ron, Ginny would follow them around. Mostly from a distance, but she was there. He had never paid her much attention, being embarrassed by the attention, but Ron would yell at her and not care how rude he was being. Harry always winced when he thought about it now. There was really no cause to hurt her feelings like that! Harry was pulled out of his contemplation as he heard Ginny’s name being spoken by a couple of boys a year behind Harry. They were sitting nearby at one of the homework tables looking at the redheaded girl across the room. The adoring looks in their eyes made him angry, though he did his best to contain it. It wasn’t up to him to keep them away from her, though he would gladly have done it! Nowadays he would give ANYTHING, even his prized Firebolt, if she would just give him an inkling that she still had any kind of feelings for him. The most he ever got lately was a smile and a nod of recognition. He cherished those moments, but longed for more. He had even tried to strike up a conversation with her a few days before when she sat down near him at lunch in the Great Hall, but he couldn’t think of anything to say beyond asking how her Potions class had been. Then one of her friends sat in the space separating them and his chance was gone. His vaunted Gryffindor courage was nowhere to be found since. Just then, Harry heard his name being said softly from the vicinity of Ginny and her friend. He turned his head towards then in time to see Ginny glance at him with a speculative look, then turned away quickly while feeling the heat in his cheeks and ears. He was sure that if anyone was sitting with him they would have felt the sudden increase in temperature! He risked a look back to the table and saw Ginny respond too quietly for him to hear. What he wouldn’t have given for an extendable ear right then! Chewing on his lip, Harry thought back to when Ginny had given him a get well card while he was in the hospital wing. He had to keep something heavy on it to stop the screeching voice from singing to him all the time, but he had kept it just the same. It was still in his trunk in the dorm, and he would never get rid of it. Even then, before he knew his heart, he had kept it because it was from her. He realized now that besides just wishing him a speedy recovery, which was a given when Madame Pomfrey took care of him, she had in her own way told him how much she loved him. She never gave any of her other friends cards like that when they were in the Hospital Wing. Sure, she gave them a card, but not one she had taken so much effort to make. How he wished he could go back to that time and kick himself, then do things RIGHT! As he watched, Ginny’s friend got up and headed towards the stairs leading to the girls’ dormitories. Ginny herself looked back at Harry with an unreadable expression on her face. It was at this point that Harry realized two things: first, he had been staring at Ginny for who knew how long without realizing she had noticed, and secondly, the Common Room was empty except for the two of them. Ginny got up from the table and walked towards Harry. He was mentally panicking, wondering if he was about to experience the infamous Bat-Bogey Hex first hand. He had been caught staring, and probably deserved anything she decided to do. That didn’t stop him from trying to think of a plausible excuse to try and prevent it! ‘Hi Harry.’ ‘H-hi Ginny.’ Harry hated the fact that he couldn’t even keep his voice steady right now. Ginny perched herself on the arm of his chair, looking into the fire as he had been doing. She seemed to be trying to decide what to say. Harry didn’t know what might be on her mind, so he kept quiet. There were many things he WANTED to say, but couldn’t. ‘Is there something wrong with me Harry?’ Harry started and looked up at Ginny. She hadn’t looked away from the fireplace, so he couldn’t read her expression. ‘No, I don’t think so.’ ‘The way you were looking at me, I thought I must have sprouted antennae from my forehead. I could almost feel your gaze from across the room, and Angie said you didn’t look away for quite a long time.’ Busted. ‘I’m sorry Ginny…’ ‘There’s no reason to be sorry Harry. I was just curious. Good night.’ As Ginny shifted position so she could stand up, Harry felt the courage that the founder whose House he was in prized so much well up inside of him and he gently held her wrist to keep her in place. ‘Please, don’t go just yet.’ She looked at him and relaxed while waiting for him to continue. ‘The reason I was staring is because…’ He paused to take a deep breath before plunging on. ‘Ginny, I realized recently that I’ve developed some very strong feelings for you. I think they go beyond a simple crush, and might even be love.’ To say Ginny was shocked would be like saying Hagrid’s taste in pets was normal! She looked totally flabbergasted, so he continued on before he lost his nerve. ‘I don’t really know what love is, or feels like, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I think about you when I wake up in the morning, I have trouble concentrating in class because you’re on my mind, and when I go to bed, I can’t fall asleep because I’m thinking of the glimpses I’ve had of you during the day.’ Harry stopped, sighed, and said, ‘I know you are seeing someone right now, but I wanted to tell you why I was staring. I’ll understand if you avoid me from now on, but I feel that you deserve the truth.’ Ginny couldn’t find any words to say right away. She couldn’t believe what she had heard! Harry Potter, in love with her? She just looked at him with wide eyes, replaying everything Harry had just said. It must have been a while because he shifted nervously and stood up. ‘I’m sorry to drop this on you Ginny, but I wanted to clear the air.’ Ginny stood up also, but instead of fleeing to her dorm, she put her arms around him and hugged him. He tentatively put his arms around her, and didn’t feel her tense up at all. They stood like this for a while, both lost in the moment. ‘Harry, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that. I’m not really seeing anyone because they can’t compare to you. I’m willing to show you what love is all about, if that is what you want.’ In response, Harry kissed the top of her head and said he would like that very much. They broke apart and agreed to talk about it in the morning before classes. He walked her to her stairs and watched her out of sight before going up to his own room. Ron and his other roommates were sleeping soundly when Harry walked in, so he quietly got changed and slipped into bed. For the first time in a long time, sleep came easily. A/N: I hope this was ok. It is my first attempt at a songfic, but I like the song, and thought it would make a nice Harry/Ginny story. I had to add the last part for my own satisfaction though! ;-) The song is by Doc Walker, and the lyrics are below for those of you who don’t know the song. She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen The walking definition of a beauty queen Every man in town wants to take her away But she hasn't always been this way You should've seen that girl ten years ago With a kool- aid moustache and freckled nose Now she's breakin' hearts and takin' names But she hasn't always been this way She didn't mean anything to me I brushed her off so easily She hasn't always been this way I really can't believe How much that girl has changed She's out of my life, she's out of my reach I'm out of her mind, she's out of my league But she hasn't always been this way He brother Bobby was my best friend So she followed us around where ever we went Now she won't give me the time of day But she hasn't always been this way When I was sixteen she gave me a card That said love you with all of my heart She hasn't always been this way I really can't believe How much that girl has changed She's out of my life, she's out of my reach I'm out of her mind, she's out of my league But she hasn't always been this way |
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