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Viennese Waltz Anyone? | ||||
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Category: Muggle Field Trip Challenge (2007-2) Characters:Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley Genres: Comedy Warnings: Sexual Situations Story is Complete Rating: PG-13 Reviews: 13 Summary: Luna tells all the best bits from the famous four's trip to Vienna Hitcount: Story Total: 4221 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work. Author's Notes: This challenge had so many possibilities I couldn't resist. I hope it makes you laugh - please let me know... |
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My Vienna Trip Journal, by Luna Lovegood It was a very exciting day here at Hogwarts when the Muggle Studies NEWT classes were told about the field trip to Vienna. Ginny and I are very much looking forward to the trip, especially as Harry has been asked to go by Professor Zampoona because he grew up with Muggles. I suppose Hermione will have been asked as well but you can't have everything I suppose. Later today, at dinner, I was listening to the discussion at the Gryffindor table. Ginny was telling Harry and Ronald how excited she was about the trip, and that she had written to her dad to tell him. Apparently, Ginny's dad is a bit funny about Muggles. Ronald was trying to tell Ginny that it would be boring until he discovered that Hermione was going, at which point he went off to find Professor McGonagall to see if he could go too! --- Day 1 Today we traveled down to London and we're staying at the Leaky Cauldron for the night. Isn't funny how old people don't get embarrassed? We had to go to Gringotts to sort out money for the trip and I was hanging about with Ginny, Harry, Ronald and Hermione (I really don't like her much). Anyway, Ginny and Ronald's parents met them there to sort out money. Mrs. Weasley was apparently baking something at home when they left because she had come out in slippers, a flowery apron and had flour streaked through her hair. Mr. Weasley however takes embarrassment bypass to a completely new level from his wife. He had been so excited to get the letter from Ginny telling him about the trip that he had spilt his breakfast yoghurt in his lap and not noticed. It was only when the Minister of Magic asked what 'that white stuff on his trousers' was that he realised! Imagine doing that and then quite happily telling your kids about it as if it was the most mundane thing ever! --- Day 2 Well, we were at some station or other today, waiting to get a train to Dover. Ginny went with Hermione to a shop called W H Smith. Hermione was mumbling something about getting some coloured dividers for her trip folder. Ginny's legendary curiosity had been piqued by the magazines on the top shelf with covers on that she had seen when we went past the window. I have to say, that my curiosity was piqued when she came back and whispered to me what they were. Anyway, while Ginny and Hermione were in the shop, Harry took me and Ronald to a food outlet called Burger King. Apparently, it's called Fast Food, but I felt that description to be a little misleading. It didn't move at all, whether fast or slow. Ronald went first and was confused when his order arrived inside a small cardboard box inside a paper bag. Harry explained how to read the menu — one of the things on it was called a Whopper! I couldn't believe it — I hadn't realised Muggles were so phallic, although when you consider the dome on St. Paul's cathedral looks like a… I asked the young gentleman behind the counter if he had a Whopper I could have, but he didn't seem to find it funny. Maybe Muggles don't have a sense of humour, but then, they did invent Cliff Richard. We took the train from London to Dover, where we had to walk from the train terminus to a giant boat which is called a 'Ferry'. As the four of us intrepid explorers (plus Hermione the annoying historian) approached, Hermione explained that we were taking the ferry to France. "I thought ferries were small wooden rafts that are punted about by Hobbits," said Ronald. "Don't be so dense Ron," chided Ginny. "That's just in that book you read, 'Lewd of the Rings'. Ferries are the boats used by English smugglers to bring large quantities of wine from France. Professor Zampoona told us about it." "Professor Zampoona's an idiot!" muttered Hermione under her breath. "It looks like a giant floating car-park," observed Harry. I sort of agreed with him, so I just sung "Ferry across the Mersey" to myself. "What's the Mersey?" asked Ron. "And why would you want to sing a song about a wooden raft?" Hermione stopped by a lamppost so she could bang her head against it. --- On the 'Ferry' we all (apart from Hermione, who was organising the coloured dividers in her trip folder) played with the Muggle cards and games Hermione had bought in that shop with the interesting magazines. Ronald was utterly perplexed by the game called Connect Four, but when he realised the aim wasn't to make a nice pattern but it was actually a strategy based game to make a line of four, he soon had us all beaten and kept insisting we play. Actually, he made Ginny so mad that she grabbed the game from him and flung it over the side. After that, Dean and Seamus stopped by and showed us how to play Blackjack. We used Knuts as chips, which was fine until some nosey Muggle wandered up and asked what coins they were, as he was an avid collector of coins from round the globe. Well, that's what he called himself. I thought he was a sad old geek with a nargle problem. Anyway, Harry tried to fob him off by saying it was toy money, which Ginny rounded off by explaining her Dad was a blacksmith and he had made it for them. Typically, as the old Muggle left, Hermione couldn't resist having a moan. "I can't believe you lot, playing with your Knuts in public…" although she trailed off at that point, when all the boys started giggling. After the 'Ferry' ride, we had to take a coach to Paris. Although this took several hours, the time flew by as we watched Mr. Bean videos the whole way. --- Day 3 From Paris, we took the TGV train to Austria. We spent all day on the train, which was quite boring if you're a restless hormone ravaged teenage boy, but fascinating if you're a quiet, watching people type person, like me. The insights into Ronald's character I gained today were quite impressive, and I thought up some great new ways to bug the hell out of Hermione. --- Day 4 Well, we arrived in Vienna last night. It appears that it is quite normal here (whether it is all Muggle hotels, I don't know), to push two single beds together and call it a twin room. Well, Ronald kicked up an almighty fuss, about how he wouldn't be sharing a bed with Harry no matter how good friends they were. Surprisingly, just as I was about to offer to swap with Harry, Hermione agreed to share with Ron, leaving Harry and Ginny to 'bunk up together', although Ronald didn't look too happy when I used that phrase. I'm not sure if any of the others noticed that Dean and Seamus seemed happy enough with the bedroom arrangements. Today we took a trip to Salzburg, which is one of the places that Muggles go to when they visit Austria. Hermione insisted that we go to Mozart's house, which is a sort of mini museum in the house Mozart lived in. It was a lot like my house really, except Daddy and I don't have a piano, or little information plaques by everything. Ronald was the only one of us who didn't know who Mozart was, unsurprisingly, so after we'd been to his house, Harry bought 'himself' a Walkman and a tape of Mozart's greatest hits which he lent to Ronald. For the entire journey back to Vienna, Ronald sat, transfixed by the music, lost in its beauty. That's what he said, anyway. I think he just found a way to sleep with his eyes open so he didn't have to listen to Miss Naggy-britches. --- Ronald just stopped by my room to ask if I had any spare batterseas he could put in the Walkman, because his had run out. "Well, go chase after them," I cried, but the poor boy just looked confused and closed the door. --- Day 5 It transpires that walls in hotels are quite thin. Especially when you cast a hearing charm on them. Last night, Ronald came back to the room he shares with Hermione (which fortunately is next to mine) after a visit to the toilets in the hotel bar, where Dean had explained to him that the machine on the wall was a condom machine, which is what Muggles used as contraceptives. I heard Ronald telling Hermione. He tried to claim that they should make use of it as part of the 'Muggle experience', which amazingly convinced Hermione. I couldn't believe it. Now, I didn't want to listen them actually having sex — I might be a gossip but I'm not a Slytherin — so I dispelled the listening spell and settled on my bed to read. Unfortunately, hotel walls really are thin, so I still got to hear Hermione's constant nagging voice as they argued. "Were you really supposed to unravel it before you put it on, Ron?" "Well you tell me, Hermione. You're the expert on all things Muggle." "Not with these I'm not. Now, give it here and let me have a go…" Honestly, I had to put the television on to drown them out. --- Over breakfast, Harry and Ginny (well Harry mainly, as Ginny was too embarrassed) told me about their interesting morning. All had gone well overnight, Harry being as virtuous as the pope and not likely to take advantage of Ginny even if she smeared herself with honey and wrote 'take me now' in it. This morning however, Harry heard Ginny drying her hair in the bathroom with the hairdryer. Assuming she was now dressed, or at least wrapped in a towel, (those that they hadn't already nicked and put in their suitcases) he opened the door to find that she was indeed drying her 'hair'. --- After doing some boring all together class stuff, we had a few hours in the afternoon to do as we pleased. Hermione decided to indulge her museum addiction on her own when the rest of us refused to accompany her. Harry and Ginny wandered off to spend some time alone so I latched arms with Ronald and we went off in search of some Muggle style fun. We found this fantastic big wheel thing which Museum-Girl told us later was called a Ferris wheel. As we were getting out of the carriage from our first trip, we saw Harry and Ginny were at the front of the queue for their turn. Unfortunately, Ronald spotted Harry's horrible relatives, the Dursleys in the queue as well a bit further back. We had to do something, or they were going to end up in the same carriage. I quickly thought of a plan which involved me distracting the attendant while Ron jumped in and diddled with the controls. So, I sauntered casually up to the front of the queue of people to where the young Austrian man was taking money and moving the wheel around when each carriage filled up. "Entschuldigung?" I said as I began to unbutton my blouse, revealing a considerable amount of my perfectly ample bosom. "Konnen sie mich hilfen?" "Ja…bitte…" stumbled the man. "Ich habe ein stuck heisse wurst…" I began. "Hier!" I finished, reaching inside my bra." The man clambered out of his seat and lunged over towards me, allowing Ron to sneak on to the controls and shut Harry and Ginny alone in the carriage and move it on one position. Unfortunately, the Austrian Ferris wheel attendant thought I wanted him to help remove the imaginary piece of sausage from my cleavage and he swooped in for a grope, when all I wanted was a tissue. To cut a short story even shorter, everyone calmed down once I slapped the man round the face and stormed off. Ron was left to deal with the angry queue of tourists but he feigned ignorance (actually, I don't think he needed to feign) and walked away. --- After we all got back from our day out in Vienna, Ginny told us what happened in the carriage while we had dinner (Harry was having a lie down). "Well, we didn’t notice at first, but when the wheel started going round we realised that we were the only people in the carriage. It was amazing — just the two of us gliding upwards into the sky and looking out over the beautiful city. The sun was glistening on the rooftops after that shower of rain; the whole experience was just incredible. "I started to get hungry and Harry produced a little bag from his ruck-sack, which contained something called Monster Munch. They were sooo tasty. He'd picked them up in England and had been keeping them just in case. I ate all the big bits and Harry ate all the crumby bits by 'drinking' them out of the bag. He looked so funny with crumbs all over his face, although he did get some in his eye which he didn’t think was so funny. "Anyway, we carried on watching the view and looking at the sights. It was so romantic. Then, when we were at the top of the wheel, Harry suddenly dropped down onto one knee in front of me." At this point, Ronald suddenly became a lot more attentive to his sister's story, and Hermione squealed, causing me to jump and drop my bread roll in the cucumber soup. "So, I was a little shocked at first, but looked down at Harry with a stupid grin on my face. Suddenly, the carriage lurched as it moved round one position, Harry fell over and banged his head on the bin and never said another word. I was sure he was going to propose to me." "What?" I cried. "What?" cried Hermione. "WHAT?" yelled Ronald. "What's all the shouting about?" came Harry's voice from across the dining room. "I've got a splitting headache. Honestly, if I learned one thing today, it's never to eat crisp crumbs by drinking them from the packet. I was just about to ask Ginny if she could get a bit out of my eye when, wallop, and I…" "What?" I cried. "What?" cried Hermione. "Phew!" exclaimed Ron. "WHAT?" yelled Ginny --- Day 6 We're on our way back to Hogwarts now, after our fantastic trip into the Muggle world. I'm finishing this journal with a brief sentence on what we've all learned on this trip. I had to cut Hermione short after about half an hour, but fortunately I'd stopped listening after the first thing she said anyway. Harry learned that seemingly innocent actions can easily be misconstrued. Ginny learned how easy it is to misconstrue an innocent action. Ron learned about the wonder and glory that is Mozart's music. Hermione learned that if you only go to museums, you miss all the fun. (Of course that's not what she really said, but I think this would be a much better lesson for her to learn) And what about me? Well, I learned that Muggles really do have magic; they just call it something else — technology. And also how stupid men can be if you flash your breasts at them. --- Well, that's the end of my Vienna Trip Journal. I'll probably do a bit of editing before I hand it in to Professor Zampoona. I may be loony, but I'm still a Ravenclaw, after all. --- |
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