Here's chappy 5 then. This was part of a big chapter with no.4 so it should have come much quicker but (forgive me) I've been rewriting and rewriting to try and make it seem right in my mind. I refused to post anything if I'm not happy with it.
Thanks goes to my new beta, quinn, and as usual, please Review.
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How Do I Go On? | ||||||
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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-DH/AB Characters:None Genres: Angst, Comedy, Fluff, Romance Warnings: None Rating: R Reviews: 50 Summary: *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated in over 2 years *** *** The author has been reminded via the e-mail address on file that this story is listed as incomplete and has not been updated in over 2 years *** The battle of Hogwarts is over, leaving Harry Potter in turmoil. Around him, families grieve for their loved ones and Harry wants nothing more than to be with GInny. However, the guilt that comes with his losses is pulling him away from the love of his life. Can Ginny get him through? And more importantly, can he help her? A H/G story that takes place directly after DH, about learning to live through darkness and death. **IT SHOULD PROBABLY BE NOTED THAT FRED IS ALIVE IN THIS STORY. IT BECOMES CLEAR IN THE FIRST CHAPTER** Hitcount: Story Total: 33181; Chapter Total: 4684 Author's Notes: |
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Ginny looked up in surprise as her entire family glanced at her sharply. "Me?" she asked, perplexed. "Why in the name of Merlin's socks are you here to talk to me?" Fred suppressed a snigger as George murmured something into his ear, but his face soon grew serious again as he saw Kingsley's expression. "Alecto and Amycus Carrow, Ginny," he said gravely. "Nobody is prepared to give evidence against them. We're running low on witnesses; all your peers are far too scared to come forward." "What?" Ron bellowed in outrage, scowling up at Kingsley. "But there's over a thousand witnesses in the place who saw what those two rats did all year. Someone must be brave enough to give evidence." "So far we have two witnesses." Kingsley shrugged. "Namely Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. I was hoping, Ginny, that we would have a third in you." Ginny immediately tensed up. Once she'd left Hogwarts at Easter, she'd prayed that she would never have to see Amycus or his sister ever again. Those were memories that she had pushed to the very furthest and darkest corner of her mind, locked away never to be revisited again. "Would....would I have to....face them?" she managed to stutter after a moment's silence. "Yes," Kingsley nodded, "In court, and you would have to tell us everything you remember about those months. Everything that happened to you and the people around you." Ginny continued to stare at him in horror. She wasn't really aware of her family's curious glances or the whispering from her brothers. "I...I'm not sure....I don't know if I can...." she stammered. “He....we...I....I don't know." "Miss Lovegood seemed to think that you would have some concerns," Kingsley nodded, taking the cup of pumpkin juice that Molly handed him with a grateful smile. "In fact, she wanted us to leave you be. I think her exact words were, 'If I hear that you've been trying to persuade her to come forward when she doesn't want to, I will not hesitate to hex you, Minister for Magic or not!'" Ginny smiled faintly. That sounded like Luna. Fiercely loyal, as always. Merlin, she missed her. "She then insisted that if you did decide to give evidence, that you would do so together," Kingsley carried on when it became apparent that Ginny was not about to speak. "She said that you would not go through this alone. She seems to believe that the two of you will need each other to lean on." "She'd be right," Ginny muttered, more to herself than to Kingsley. Then she looked up at him, even though the fear was still rushing through her veins. "So if I said yes, I could tell you while she was with me?" Kingsley nodded. "I have to be honest with you, Ginny," he said, "If they give evidence against other Death Eaters then even with your statements, the chances are that they will get off. If that happens, they're not likely to be happy with the three of you." "No." Molly shook her head. "No, I will simply not allow it. If there is a chance that they will come after her, then she's not doing it. No chance." "If there's a chance that they'll get off even with Ginny's statement, why does she have to do it?" Charlie asked. Ginny's family began to nod in agreement, her brothers all trying to chip in with their thoughts. "I don't see why you need her. She won't be safe if she gives evidence." "Yeah, she's had enough trouble with those two to last her forever." "Why can't she just-" "I'll do it." Ginny's voice, quiet as it was, carried over the protests of her family. They all stopped speaking and turned once again to stare at her. She ignored them. "Are you sure, Ginny?" Kingsley asked in concern. "Once you've agreed, you can't go back." "I can't let them get away with doing what they did to us," Ginny shrugged, "I can't let Luna and Nev go through this alone. We're in this together, right?" "If you're certain, Ginny, I can arrange for someone to come and interview Miss Lovegood and yourself this afternoon." Kingsley suggested, setting the now empty glass down on the table. Ginny ran it over in her head. She didn't want the Carrows to get away with what they had done, but she most certainly didn't want have to talk about what had happened in those months. The memories were too painful. "This afternoon," Ginny repeated faintly. She glanced at Harry from under her lashes. She wanted reassurance, comfort, but the look in his eyes nearly made her burst into tears. He looked so intense, so concerned and worried about her. His face was nearly in pain and his jaw was hard set as if he was determined to help her. "This afternoon. Fine." * * * Harry sat with Ron on the couch, playing chess. Neither of them were really concentrating on the game, they were both too caught up in their own thoughts. The look on Ginny's face at the thought of reliving her school year had made Harry physically hurt. She [‘had’] looked so unsure of herself, so scared. Seeing her scared like that was so un-Ginny-like that it made Harry scared himself. Ginny's expression had been one of such vulnerability and innocence that it had made Harry want to wrap his arms around her and never, ever let go. None of the Weasleys had left. They all seemed to have found one reason or another to stick around, even though before Kingsley's arrival they had all been planning to go out to do one thing or another. Even Fleur remained, confiding quietly to Hermione (something that shocked the men) that she could not bear to leave Ginny alone. Harry’s heart melted as she looked up and caught his eye, smiling gently. He was about to rise from his seat and go to her, wrap his arms around her, kiss her, just hold her, but he was interrupted by the appearance of a tall blonde in the doorway. Luna Lovegood looked like she had aged ten years. Her face was worn and tired, she had dark shadows under her pale eyes. She looked weary, her blonde hair scraped back into a bun, but when she saw Ginny she smiled a smile that lit up her entire face. “Move your arse over here right now, Weasley!” she exclaimed. Ginny let out a laugh and threw her magazine onto the table, leaping off of the sofa and into her best friend’s hands outstretched arms. This Luna was different…her dreamy expression had almost vanished, replaced by suspicious eyes. Months with Death Eaters could do that to you, Harry supposed. “I’ve missed you!” Luna exclaimed into Ginny’s fiery hair and Harry saw Ginny tighten her grip around her. “I’ve missed you too,” she said, so quietly that it was hard for Harry to hear. “So, I guess we’re going to do this, huh?” Luna pulled away and studied Ginny carefully. Harry had to wonder if she could read minds; from the expression on her face it looked like she understood everything Ginny was feeling right now. Harry only wished that he could. “Only if you want to,” Luna stressed after a long moment, “Only if you’re sure about this, Ginny.” “I’m sure,” Ginny nodded. “I can’t let this go without at least trying.” “Any question you don’t want to answer, just say no comment,” Luna ordered. “And if you feel like you have to get out just leave, okay?” Ginny laughed, but Harry could tell it was forced. “This is tough for you too, Lulu.” Luna looked like she was about to reply but there was a knock on the door and two ministry officials stood there, next to a grim looking Molly. “Miss Weasley and Miss Lovegood?” the older one asked, looking apologetic. Harry saw Ginny tense up but Luna grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “That’s us,” she answered for the pair. “Everyone will have to leave for the interview, Mrs. Weasley,” the younger man said to Molly. She looked as though she was about to argue, then thought better of it. She nodded and began to usher her boys into the kitchen. They all left with annoyed glances at the officials. “I’m not going anywhere,” Harry snapped when everyone else had gone into the kitchen. “Harry,” Molly pleaded, “Come on, dear, let the officers do their jobs.” “I’m not going anywhere,” Harry repeated strongly. “I’m not leaving her, Molly.” Molly’s gaze searched his face for several long moments. Then she nodded and closed the kitchen door firmly. Harry sat in a dark corner of the room, watching as Ginny and Luna gestured for the officers to sit. He listened with rapt attention as the two men began to question the pair. “They didn’t like me… or Neville, for that matter.,” Luna began, “We were punished cruelly for the slightest little thing. But they didn’t hate us the way they hated Ginny. And they did hate her. Maybe because she stood up to them, maybe because she was a blood traitor, I don’t know why but they used to torture her.” “What kind of things?” The older man asked, looking at Ginny. She swallowed. “Cruciatus was a favourite of theirs,” Ginny said after a moment, “and I think they learned Sectumsempra from Snape.” “And these were used on you on a regular basis?” The younger man asked. Ginny nodded. “Can you explain exactly why and how you were punished?” “We…I was punished for a lot of things. Speaking my mind, homework, refusing to do what they told me,” Ginny shrugged and shuddered, obviously not wanting to relive those months. “Sometimes they’d say they’d punish me the muggle way….they’d beat me with their fists and say that I was a muggle lover and I should be thankful. And other times they’d do it the Wizarding way and tell me that I needed to learn about real wizards.” “I don’t think they liked that we were all purebloods.” Luna chipped in, “In their minds we were supposed to be on their side, supporting them, but we were disgusted by what they were doing and we weren’t afraid to show it. They didn’t like that. They thought that Gin and I should’ve been doing what nice pure blood girls did, sitting around, working hard, not speaking up, letting men run the world.” “I was told that I would make a lovely pure blood wife once,” Ginny took over narration. “By Amycus himself.” “I don’t remember that,” Luna looked at Ginny in concern. “What did you do?” “I spat in his face,” Ginny replied, the ghost of a smile flitting across her face. Luna burst out laughing and Ginny turned to the older man. “You see, officer, I deserved to be punished for that. I deserved a detention or to miss a Quidditch match. I didn’t deserve to be beaten and tortured for six hours straight. Are you starting to get this?” “I think so,” The younger officer nodded. “You girls have been through quite an ordeal. Did the Carrows attempt to get information out of any of you?” “They wanted information on my family,” Ginny shrugged, “And on Harry. They used to torture us for ages before asking, thinking it would make us weak enough to give in. Stupid prats.” “How did they try to convince you to give information?” The younger officer pressed. Ginny paled but Luna squeezed her hand tighter and nodded slightly. “They would tell me…that my family didn’t want me, didn’t love me, that Harry couldn’t care less about me,” Ginny hung her head in apparent shame, “They told me that I was just convenient when there was no one else around. I mean, how often did my brothers contact me? I didn’t believe them at all, I screamed at them that they were liars but once you’ve heard it over and over again whilst being tortured…you start to doubt yourself and your beliefs. I won’t lie to you, if I hadn’t been taken out of school at Easter I don’t think I could’ve held on for much longer. I was tired enough to give up.” The interview went on in much the same way, but Harry found himself not really listening. The impact of Ginny’s words were like a sharp blow to the stomach. She had doubted herself, doubted her family, doubted him and all because he had been too stupidly noble to tell her…to tell her that he loved her. Why hadn’t he done that before he left? She was strong enough to keep a secret, it would’ve given her strength. Why had he let her go through all that alone? * * * Ginny stood in the kitchen, trying to regain control of her breathing. She had spent over an hour with those officers, going over everything that happened during that year, raking over painful memories over and over again. “Thank you very much, Miss Weasley, Miss Lovegood,” The older officer nodded gratefully. “This information will help very much. Anything you need, just ask.” “Yes, sir,” Luna nodded for both of them, opening the door and ushering them out. “Thank you for your time.” Luna turned back around and Ginny collapsed onto a kitchen chair in exhaustion, ignoring her family who were all pretending not to watch. “I have to go, Gin,” Luna smiled apologetically. “Daddy needs his food cooking. He’s still a bit jumpy, you know…” she trailed off and bent down to kiss her best friend’s cheek. “You take care, okay Weasley? I’ll see you really soon, I promise.” And with that, she was gone in a blur of blonde hair. “Luna can apparate?” Ron asked, looking dumbfounded. “Ow! Bill, what was that for…oh.” Ron trailed off when he saw Ginny rest her head in her hands, her index fingers massaging her temples. She felt two large, calloused hands slide onto her shoulders and looked up to see Harry gazing down at her in concern. “That can’t have been easy,” he commented lightly, rubbing her back soothingly. Ginny stared at him before realising that he had been in the room the whole time. He had refused to move, wanting to be there for her. She supposed that just having him nearby had made her calmer. “No,” she whispered brokenly. Harry’s eyes flashed with pain and regret and he pulled out the chair next to her and took both of her small hands in his larger one. “I am so sorry, Gin,” he murmured, looking directly into her eyes. “I will never, ever stop being sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make all of this up to you, if you’ll let me.” She was surprised. Make what up to her? None of it had been his fault, had it? It was all the Carrows doing, their stupid views on wizarding life. “I’ll never let anything hurt you ever again,” Harry promised. “Not ever.” |
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