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SIYE Time:23:56 on 28th March 2024
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Harry Potter Strikes Back 27
By veraklon

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Category: Mary Sue Challenge (2009-3)
Characters:All
Genres: Comedy, Humor
Warnings: Disturbing Imagery
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 5
Summary: The Final Battle is coming... just nobody thought that it would be in the middle of a snow covered Hogwarts. And what's with all of the high school style drama. Plus, check out the new DADA Professor...
Hitcount: Story Total: 3558



Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. This story subject to copyright law under transformative use. No compensation is made for this work.



Author's Notes:
Merlin and Morganna on a pogo stick! I thought I was done... but I will be good and well-wanded that this challenge didn't interrupt my sleepy time night after night after night. It demanded to be written. I blame you all. So... here it is. Please don't hold out for this to make a lot of sense. It didn't make any to me, and I wrote it.

Well, anyway, on with the show...




ChapterPrinter


..ooOO OPENNING CREDITS OOoo..


A long, long time ago (like, years and months and stuff...) in an imaginary setting somewhat far, far away...

Episode Twenty-Seven
Harry Potter Strikes Back

It is a dark time for the wizards and witches of Britain. Although
the Dark Lord's plot to kill Dumbledore through subterfuge has
been thwarted, Death Eaters have taken over the Ministry and have
driven the Order of the Phoenix across the lands and into their last
place of refuge... Hogwarts.

Evading the numerous attempts at his capture during the summer
between his Sith... oops... his sixth and seventh year, the inner
members of Dumbledore's Army led by Harry Potter have established
a daring super secret plan to deal with Dark-What's-His-Name once
and for all.

The evil, self-titled Lord Voldemort, obsessed with pushing the
destined battle between himself and young Harry once and for all,
has dispatched hundreds of his followers into the lands surrounding
Hogwarts to brave the sudden arctic conditions that now covers the
majestic castle in order to capture his elusive prey...

The star-filled sky filled the elder Centaur's gaze like being blindfolded, although the blindfold had millions upon millions of tiny holes across the fabric. The darkness was black, with each individual star standing out as a stark contrast of white. White pinpricks in the black cloth of the night sky everywhere... everywhere except that one dot of illumination that had to be different from the rest. That one glowing brightly crimson... a perfect representation of the Dark Lord's eye watching the world.

Mars was bright in the night time sky. Dark tidings for those that looked to such things.

Bane sighed as his hooves cracked through the hard, frozen blades of grass and the sharp-edged leaves covered in ice that were caught in the unnaturalness of the magic-induced winter that filled the Forbidden Forest. For not the first time, the four-footed warrior wondered at how this small oasis of Jack Frost's idea of heaven would look from the supposed recording devices that muggles supposed filled the sky with. Springtime had come to the Isles, but not Hogwarts. No, the place of learning for the spell casters had gone against Mother Nature...

And now the followers of darkness had come into his lands!


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


To the uninformed or just casual observer, the hustle and bustle inside the stone fortress known as Hogwarts School For Witches and Wizards might seem normal. Students rushed back and forth along the cold stone halls moving from class to class, all the while teachers looked on to keep the ever-chaotic dance moving in some semblance of order. There was laughter and tears, voices carrying and echoing with news of the day all the while interwoven with the various juvenile crisis-es that seemed of the utmost importance at that very moment. But with the closer look, a stronger examination, it could be discerned that the normalcy was vacant.

To begin immediately, one would have to understand that it was April. Springtime. But the grounds about the castle for miles was covered in heavy, pure white snow and the temperature about the fortified stone walls was below freezing that forced the various denizens inside the affected area to be bundled in thick cloth and heavy furs. Durmstrang, in appearance, maybe. The moisture left in the air even allowed for a thin sheen of ice to coat the very walls of the school, helping to create the illusion that the building was built from ice... the perfect representation of Kris Kringle's North Pole kingdom.

But more than the false deep winter that had even the most talented of witch or wizard scratching under their pointy hat in confusion as to why the various melting charms and fire curses were unable to easily melt the offending ice and snow, there was also the heavy threat that You-Know-Who and his dark minions had somehow caused the shift in nature's balance.

And such fear left most trembling from more than the cold, but more to the idea that such an evil man and the evil men that followed him, had somehow forced Harry Potter into isolation. No where to run. And the next fight was going to be to the end.

Fortunately, they would be wrong... a fact that they would know, especially if they were privy to the information being bandied back and forth during a heated conversation taking place in the office of the current Headmaster of the school... Albus Dumbledore. Information of such vital setting and back-story that muggleborns would almost look at it as a “previously on...” montage from their favorite programs on the telly in case they missed the last twenty-six episodes.

It helped make sense of the things to come...

“You cannot be serious, Albus!” Minerva McGonagal hissed like a cat. “Now you are even going to blame the freak weather outside on the boy? How could you?”

To the left of the corner where the Deputy Headmistress was sitting, several of the other important and actually named professors of the school were nodding along. They, too, were appalled at the long-bearded fellows gall. All, it should be pointed out, but one lone teacher hidden in the shadows of another corner of the room. No. Professor Snape simply sneered at the fact that Harry bloody Potter was once again the focus of anyone's conversation.

Tiny Flitwick, seemingly shorter than the last time he was seen almost as if the diminutive half-goblin was vanishing from sight, added in. “Too true. Too true. You're lucky the poor boy didn't accept the various offers from the other schools. Especially after he was emancipated from his poor godfather's will, Albus, may that old dog rest in peace... or in pranks. Whatever. Anyway... he could have left. And then where would we be?”

Mad-Eye Moody, the former almost professor and current security chief for the school sighed, his fake eye spinning madly (Ha! Great Pun, huh?) while he recapped the old flask he always drank from. “Lassie-kitty and the leprechaun are right, ya know. If it wasn't for his marriage to the Weasley girl, he'd had ran to the colonies or the penal colony for sure.”

Everyone ignored the twinkling of the old man's eyes as he steepled his hands before him in a vain attempt to look wise and recapture control of the meeting. “Now, now.” Dumbledore offered kindly. “While I know Harry and I have had our differences in the past, we can easily work through such and will be able to join forces when the time is right.”

The Slytherin Head of House snorted. “You baby the little prima-donna too much.” You could hear the sneer in his voice. “Head boy. Allowed to break whatever rules he wants. Married.. and worse, to promote his wife in grade level so that she could be with him.”

“Now, Severus...” The over a century old coot smiled benignly. “I have explained about the soul bond to you. This past summer, Harry finally accepted his love for the former Miss Weasley and, with his great and staggering ridiculous amounts of magick at his beck and call, somehow forged an ancient bond, effectively marrying the two of them together.”

Albus Brian Wulfric Arnesto Willie... whatever Dumbledore took a breath. “It will be the power that the Dark One knows not. Together they will prevail.”

“Molly-Wobbles was certainly upset about that one.” Arthur Weasley spoke up from the corner next to the door. “Forget He-Who-No-One-Names. Molly on a tirade is something to be feared.”

“Oh. Poor Harry.” Hooch spoke up from the corner she seemed almost hidden in.

The greasy-haired man ignored his boss and colleagues. “The only good part of the whole situation is that Potter and ALL of the Weasley's will be gone next year... if they can somehow avoid being destroyed by the power of the Dark Lord.”

Sinestra and Vector shared a look before both rolling their eyes.

“And that... that...” Severus actually gained some color in his pale cheeks. “Whatever you would call that... thing you are letting teach Dark Arts.”

From one of the other apparently many corners of the ever increasing office, former Defense teacher Remus Lupin joined into the conversation. “Problems, Sevvie? Is the cute little purple-furred girl giving you problems?”

Sprout and Pomfrey covered their smiles as the werewolf continued. “Is there such a thing as vampire envy? I mean, you try to look like one and she is one. And she's got your dream job now, too, huh? Are the other Death Nibblers making fun of you on the playground?”

Albus cleared his throat and purposefully ignored the childish standoff taking place between the childhood rivals. “Professor Zu is with Mrs. Potter at this very moment helping to relay mine and Remus' findings, Minerva.”

The Gryffindor Head of House looked at Dumbledore. “I still think its a mistake...”

She was cut off from further words as Remus was suddenly on the floor, laughing hysterically. “Oh, no worries, Min. This is a prank worthy of Paddy and Prongs from beyond the grave.”


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


::: Harry? :::

The boy... no... the man in question to the mental query held up his gloved finger to the person he was currently conversing with and closed his emerald eyes, not wanting the headache that often came while utilizing the soul bond as his internal gaze was want to overlay what he was presently looking at.

Besides, Ginny might be in a state of undress and that was always more agreeable than continuing the argument with Alyx, the strange Hufflepuff with the obsessive fixation on Snape. The overgrown vampire wannabe was certainly no Alan Rickman! And what was with the llamas?

::: Yes, love? I'm here.::: He shot back at his wife.

The moment of silence seemed heavy. It was just enough that Harry almost dreaded to hear what was coming. ::: Professor Dumbledore thinks he's figured out why Hogwarts is stuck in a Siberian winter in the middle of April. :::

He tried to keep the sigh from his voice. ::: Do tell, my love. :::

::: He and Lupin... oh, and Merry, too... well, they all are fairly sure that Ice is my element to call.:::

::: Okay. ::: Harry waited. ::: And? Are they saying you accidentally caused the overnight blizzard?:::

He could feel the blush through the bond. ::: We, Harry. Not just me, but we. When we were... uhm... You know. Last week... :::

Harry suddenly understood. Perfectly. ::: Are you saying that during our... well, our rights as a married couple... are you saying that... ? :::

::: Merry says that my... :::

::: I got it, babe. You got happy enough to share it with everyone. You came into your power.:::

::: I'm so embarrassed. ::: Harry tried to ignore the precious note of whinging in her melodious voice... well, mental representation, that is.

After taking a moment to comfort his wife and to let her know that he in no way blamed her for the Alaskan landscape outside... nor the way that the very walls of the ancient castle now seemed to all be coated in blue ice... but most importantly that there was no way by the hairs on Lancelot's mother's chin that they were going to stop doing what they did that caused the... well... winter wonderland, he finally was able to let the connection fall dormant and returned to the conversation he'd been having prior her call. Blinking to restore his sight to his immediate surroundings, his gaze fell back to Alyx.

She smiled up at him, her eyes only slightly crossed. Must have had another fight with Bob (her on again off again boi-toy) earlier. “So whaddaya think?”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, happy that there were no longer any glasses to get in the way. Merry's spell that she had learned from Rowena Ravenclaw herself had been a great quick-fix for that whole pesky gotta-wear-spectacles problem he'd suffered from.

“Alyx...” He began, trying his best to ignore the headache forming. “I know that Death Eaters are threatening to attack outside the snow covered walls and all, but how does getting Snivellous to grow a goatee and dress up in a muggle suit help us in any way?”

He was saved from any type of answer as the room seemed to suddenly brighten from all sides, almost as if some inner light was filling the room. A smile came unbidden to his face as he turned away from the annoying Snape Fan and moved his powerful jade gaze to the room's new occupant. She always seemed to suddenly appear whenever she was thought about, or if something important was going on... from the first time she had helped Harry save the Sorcerer's Philosopher's Stone up till her helping Harry realize that if he loved his Gin-Bear, then he shouldn't wait on marrying her... age and propriety be wanded.

Merry Zu was in the house!

Taking a moment to look over his long time friend and mentor, Harry marveled not for the first time the insanity that made up the current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. He was drawn to her, much as any other healthy young male would be. How could he not, as even putting the massive depths of magick he had to draw from against the quarter-Veela, half-vampire catgirl, he was outgunned. Her aura of sensuality alone (forget about adding the Veela Pull!) had left her with admirers that had chased her across the ages she had lived... giving rise to some of the world's greatest works of art.

It was a shame that the eternally eighteen-year-old goddess was not into guys, much to the Patil twins' delight... if the smiles the two exotic beauties wore about the castle these days had anything to say about it.

But it wasn't just her appearance that made her so intriguing to Harry. The light coating of purple fur across her body... the dark purple stripes adding a rebellious look, almost like tattooing from a Star Trek series... her sometimes silver sometimes golden eyes. And what a figure! And her clothes... the woman actually had the audacity to refuse the standard teachers' attire robes and instead wore various leather pieces that, while properly covering what needed to be covered, still seemed to act more like a barbed wire fence than anything else.

(NOTE: The answer to the obvious question... clothes that are like a barbed wire fence are clothes that cover the property but do not obstruct the view. -The Author)

No. It helped that she was also the illegitimate daughter of Rowena and Godric, which in a roundabout way made her Harry's several times removed aunt as he had discovered himself to be the last descendent of Godric and Helga (or was it Salsazar and Rowena? Eh. Who cared in the long run.). It was with Merry's tutelage and secret training that Harry had successfully beaten back all of the various adventures he seemed to get into each year... not to mention the ancient spells that she had amassed over her long unlifetime.

Merry had even found a way to fix his eyesight, but had sadly informed him that there was no chance at defeating the Potter's curse at unruly hair... a curse that his Ginny-poo had no trouble dealing with, as the ruby-haired love of his life was constantly running her dainty fingers through it in some doomed attempt at taming it.

Shaking his head to clear his mental ramblings away, Harry smiled at his friend. “What's up, Merry?”

“Sorry to interrupt, but you wanted to warn me about something?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. Forgetting about the Death Chewers and all outside freezing their bums off for the moment, I wanted to remind you that we're about due for another row between Clueless and Clueless-er sometime today if the schedule holds.”

Merry paled, a feat worthy of notice, as she was covered in a pale shade of lavender fur across her body. “Who now?”

Possibly the most powerful magic-user since Merlin himself shrugged. “Gin mentioned something last night... Boot, maybe.”

“Oh, Goddess.” Merry Zu sighed wistfully, her lower lip jutting out cutely. It was expressions like that which made Harry glad his heart was already spoken for. “Not another lame attempt at getting Ron to notice her.”

The grin was unrepentant. “Hermione tries.”

Ginny chose that moment to call out from the peanut gallery in his head. ::: At least we finally got Mione to do something with how she looks. I love the girl to death, but I was at my wits end trying to convince her that taking pride in her appearance wouldn't lose her the title of Smartest Witch Ever. Lavender can work miracles... :::

Harry nodded even though his wife couldn't see the gesture. He definitely agreed with her assessment. It had definitely been a shock to the system to see Hermione come down the other stairwell in the Head Students' Suite looking so good. Make-up subtlety applied and her hair tamed into something that helped you forget the rosebush hairdo she'd sported the first six years of his knowing her. Her clothes had been pressed and her nails painted. Harry grinned as he remembered that his first thought at seeing her was that she had to be someone else... and then his second thought had been that he'd not have kicked her out of bed the next morning... which had been followed by his third thought which had to do with seeing if Poppy had a quick cure for a concussion.

Never forget that your life-partner has a mental bond and is privy to your every randy thought... or the fact that as the only girl with six older brothers, the girl can hit like an angry bludger!

::: We promised to stay out of it, sweetie.:::

::: I know.:::

Harry sent her a mental caress and signed off. Blinking to reassert himself, he smiled at Merry. “Anything else that you can think of?”

Merry looked up from where she was washing her face with the back of her paw/hand. “Well... you do need to meet with some of the new recruits for keeping watch on the brilliant bad guys trying to sneak into the castle.”

He laughed at the insanity of the wizarding world. “Are they still dressed in black?” At her nod, his grin got wider. “Is everything still covered in snow?”

“Yep.”

“And the Dork Lard's most prized advisers still cannot understand how we're spotting them trying to sneak up on us?”

The beautiful Veela-Vampire-Catgil nodded. “Apparently.”

Sighing at the absurdity of a bad guy who couldn't even recruit followers smart enough to change out of black outfits in order to blend with a white background, shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it is time to let everyone else in on the super-secret plan. Okay. What recruits?”


..ooOO SCENE CHANGE OOoo..


Arthur Weasley smiled down at the man who had been an honorary member of the family and was now an actual member. “Harry... I am your father.”

Harry smiled as he lowered his wand. “Please take this the right way, Dad... but I'm sincerely glad its Dad-in-Law.”

The eldest redhead nodded in agreement. “Yes. Yes. I think that was for the best, as well, my boy. Our little Ginevra seems to think so, as well.”

The girl in question rolled her eyes. “I still hate that phrase as a password.”

Hermione, looking up from where she was currently painting her toenails... again... and smiled. “Gin-ster, it was perfect. Who would think of a Dewee (Death Eater Wannabe) as daring enough to say something so absolutely ridiculous?”

“You might be right, Minney, but having Snape utter that almost made me sick.” Ron spoke up, particles of food spraying out.

Harry was nodding along when Merry popped up. “And I'm not sure I liked the look in his eye when he said it to Harry. Gave me chills... like he liked the idea.”

The group all shuddered at once before Harry turned away and started checking the newest arrivals at the door of the Room of Requirement, the unofficial meeting place for Dumbledore's Army and the remnants of the Order of the Phoenix. It took a little time, but eventually everyone that was expected finally made it and the meeting got underway.

Roll call went quickly. Members that had been inducted last time were quickly sorted out and given assignments. Veraklon and Kaybe, as well as Jay Bern and that guy constantly faking a smile (Who named these kids anyway?), were all put on rotation for watching the dungeons for suspicious activities. Others that Harry knew better, but not enough to trust fully like Su Li and Daphne Greengrass were assigned to others for more detailed assignments.

Everything was going well until Harry heard one boy asking about Veela and the hope that he could get together with one some day. That in and of itself was not a problem, but Harry distinctly heard the name Gabrielle come up, and nobody messed with someone that Harry had, in passing, saved the life of... kinda.

“Ron.” He whispered. “Who's that guy?”

The tall, lanky redhead glanced over to where Harry indicated. “Him? Not sure. Transfer from France, I think.”

At seeing where her pooky-bear was indicating, Ginny had Hermione pause from checking her eyeliner and brought the youngster over for Harry to meet.

“Jeconais, guv'ner.” He stuck out his hand. “Pleasure to make ya 'quaint'nense.”

Harry narrowed his eyes. “Your name is Jeconais? How do you pronounce that?”

Everyone looked at their leader in wonder, not a few without a slight frown. It was Hermione who finally worked up the courage to sally forth where all of the others faltered. “Uhm. Harry? You just said it aloud. It's not like you are reading what someone has written down.”

Harry looked at her, his left eyebrow cocked. “Riiiiight.” He turned back to the newcomer. “Just go man the Astronomy Tower with the others.”

Jeconais shot off a salute and ran to catch up with the others. Harry involuntarily shuddered as the newcomer vanished from sight. He'd have to mention to Fleur to watch that one. Turning back to the friends surrounding him, he steeled himself for what was coming.

“Okay. We've worked out the logistics of the plan. Hermio..” Harry turned to gesture to his once bushy-haired, buck-toothed friend, but she had vanished. Ginny, seeing his confusion, covertly pointed over his shoulder. For not the last time, he was certain, he found Granger with her face in a book. What was startling, however, was the title so easily read even from across the room: Ten Surefire Ways to Land Your Wizard, by Notadryeye.

Harry rolled his eyes as he shared a look with the others surrounding him. “Fine. As I was saying to Ron...”

When he looked for his other best friend, he, too, was suddenly missing. At Ginny's nod, Harry was finally able to spot the moron flirting with Eloise over by the snack table.

“Fine.” Harry could do it without them. “As to the actual plan, I think that...”

It seemed as if it was the day for interruptions, unfortunately, as Luna walked over and grabbed Ginny by the arm. “I have to talk to you.” The Elfish blonde whispered loud enough for all to hear. “It's important.”

Ginny turned a sorrowful gaze to Harry. Sighing again, he nodded, watching mournfully as the two left the Come-And-Go Room. It was so very lucky that he had convinced Merry to start training Ginny-Winny this past summer, too. The special training from someone trained by the Founders themselves had helped push the youngest Weasley, now Potter, into advancing a whole grade to share with her husband... a fact that helped immensely since it seemed lately that they only had time alone was either in bed at night or in the same classes during the day.

Taking a moment to accept Ginny's mental apology she sent his way, Harry turned back to the ever shrinking group of his most trusted that surrounded him.

“The super-secret plan that Merry, Gin-and-Tonic and I came up with over the summer is...”

::: HARRY!!! :::

The near omnipresent wizard in question brought his hands uselessly up against his ears as the former love of his life, his soon to be dead wife, shrilled his name... the sound (can you call a mental voice a sound?) bouncing around inside of his head.

Everyone looked fearfully at Harry as he fought to regain his equilibrium and catch his balance back. :::Yes? :::

::: Come out to the courtyard! Quick! ::: He could almost feel her tears on his own face. ::: Luna says we have to get a divorce! :::

Harry was stunned. ::: Does the Wizarding World even allow divorce? And how are you and Luna already down in the Courtyard?:::

::: Harry! Focus! ::: Ginny mind-screamed. ::: Courtyard! Now! :::

Rubbing at his temples and suddenly wishing he still wore glasses so he could dramatically remove them as he rubbed his eyes in anguish, Harry made his apologies for yet another useless plot point interruption and informed Ron to take over the meeting for a moment.

Why did he suddenly wish to scream that Draco was nothing but a lousy, white-furred rodent? The gods had to have been mocking him...


..ooOO SCENE BREAK Oooo..


“No, Luna, no.” Ginny stomped her booted foot repeatedly on the hard-packed snow. “Not another prophecy! We refuse to listen.” She whipped her head around, her dark chocolate eyes finding him immediately as he approached. “Right, love?”

Harry shrugged, uncertain as to what the conversation was about but deciding that agreeing with Gin-chan was a much better idea than the alternative. “Whatever you say, dear. Whatever you say.”

“But, Harry.” She cried, seeing that Harry was just placating her. “Luna says that you and Draco need to be married so that he can have your love child, saving him from going insane!”

He blinked. Harry then blinked a second and longer time. “Huh?”

(NOTE: See? Infinite cosmic power doesn't always relate to genius level thinking. - The Author)

Ginny and Luna were both nodding their heads. It was dizzying, to say the very least. Luna's dreamy voice spoke. “It was forewritten in the stars. You and Cyril cannot be together. You belong to Draco as his life-match.”

“Cyril?” Gin-Gin's voice was dark. “Who by Mordred's little red tricycle is 'Cyril'?”

Harry was interested in that little tidbit himself when he heard footfalls approaching. Fast. All three paused in their discussion as a tiny third year Gryffindor... Chris Widger, approached.

“Mister Potter. Mister Potter.” The youngster's voice strangely Brooklyn accented. “Professor Zu says hurry back. Hurry back quick. Mister Weasley and Miss Granger are fightin'!”

::: Wand it, Ginerva! ::: Harry shot across the bond. ::: Now I'm gonna miss the fight. :::

It was a chastised Potter wife that watched as her husband and the leader of the Light ran back into the castle to trek back up the seven flights of stairs to hopefully catch some small part of the coming confrontation.


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


It seemed like it took Harry forever to get the stairwells to cooperate enough that he made fairly good time back to the Room of Requirement. As he threw the door open and stepped back into the cacophony of sounds that felt like a physical blow across his face, it occurred to him that he could have forced his way through the wards and simply apparated.

Rolling his eyes, he chose to ignore the sound of laughter in the back of his head that had nothing to do with Ginny and the bond and everything to do with Dumbledore and that wanded superiority complex of his.

Pushing his insecurities down and locking them away... now was not the time to go emo... Harry brought his attention to what was going on. And apparently he had missed enough to be slightly behind on everything that was going on, although the scene he found himself witnessing was enough to get rid of any of the remaining ire he held for the love of his life for almost causing him to miss this.

The occupants of the room were standing around in a circular pattern, offering the best view for everyone to the spectacle left in the middle where two figures were facing off against one another, gladiator style. Harry wanted to laugh aloud as he caught on to the fact that Hermione was standing over the prone form of Ron on the ground, her right hand balled tightly into a fist.

Harry approached quickly, never even noticing how the bodies of the assorted students, teachers and other persons stepped out of his way without complaint. He drew close enough that he could finally hear what was being said.

“Bloody bullocks, Her!” Ron wiped the blood from his lip. “Who taught you to hit like that?”

Hermione rubbed the knuckles of her hand. “Dad first, but Sovran made it a point to show me what to do if a boy got too fresh...”

“Who the bloody blazes is Sovran?”

Hermione sniffed as she folded her arms across her chest and stared at the boy that she secretly loved. “He's the one Viridian introduced me to.”

“And Viridian is?” Ron asked hotly as he finally got off the floor.

She had the decency to blush as everyone in the Room of Requirement seemed to lean in for the answer to this one. Finally it was getting good. “Uhm. He took me out last week when Blaise failed to show. It meant noth...”

“Wait.” Harry interrupted, his mind suddenly spinning. In the back of his head, he could feel Gin
focused on the situation as well. “You had a date with a girl?”

Merry grinned. “That's hot.”

Padma Patil sauntered over and caught the DADA Professor's gaze. “Definitely.”

“A Slytherin girl, no less.” Ron added glumly.

Hermione looked shocked. “A girl? What? No.” She sputtered. “Blaise is a guy.”

Harry and Ron shared a look. Both turned and faced the third member of their trio. A quick glance around the room showed others shaking their heads. Ron gestured for Harry to take it. The Boy-Who-Lived nodded in acceptance. “Hermione, Blaise Zabini is female. Trust me. I've heard the locker room talk.”

Dean Thomas decided now was a good time to jump into the conversation. He should have known better. “Yeah. She was nice to me after Ginny broke my heart.” He ignored Harry looking in his direction. “Never went on a date, but a few hugs and some other stuff alone. She was very nice to me.”

“Yeah.” Merry added, her striped ears twitching adorably. “Just the other day, Malfoy was bragging in the Great Hall about the two of them and their major snogfest in the broom closet on the third floor. Got all NC-17 rated, to hear him tell it.”

“No.” Hermione insisted. “Trust me. Blaise is a guy. Greengrass had a pregnancy scare last summer. Blaise was the potential father.”

Across the room, Daphne was nodding her head.

Harry unsuccessfully tried to stop the sudden feeling of impending apocalypse that screamed through his being... an apocalypse that had nothing to do with Tom Riddle.

::: No way! ::: Ginny chuckled in his head. Harry tried to ignore the bitter taste in his mouth. Ron, on the other hand, looked like he was having a Crying Game moment. ::: Percy bragged about making out with her... uhm... him. Judging by Ron's lack of color, must be a family thing. And Draco! So that's why he's so into those leather pants! :::

The sound of the door practically being torn from its hinges caught Harry's attention. He watched as Dean was sprinting out the door, the dark-skinned young man suddenly imitating an albino. Harry widened his eyes as the sound of retching seemed to echo through the hallways.

Harry definitely felt his breakfast threatening to make a return appearance. Seems near cosmic power was no preventative for nausea, either. Stepping carefully over Merry, seeing as she had fallen to the floor in laughter (and he didn't want to step on her tail... again), he called over his shoulder. “I'm outta here. You're on your own, Ron.”

Rushing out of the room, Harry tried to ignore the note of desperation in his friend's voice as well as the hunched over figure of Dean Thomas that was huddled to the side of the corridor.

“Please, Hermy...” Ron's voice trailed after Harry. “Tell me there was of some type of super-secret 'let's not tell a soul' kind an accident with Transmografication...”

To Harry, it looked like revealing the super secret plan for destroying Voldemort would have to wait...


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


“What day is it?” Ginny asked.

Her beloved and very devoted husband turned to look at her. “Uhm... Thursday, I think. Why?”

Ynnig turned away from the mirror she was looking at and made a funny face, almost like she was having some deep and serious thoughts. “Well... when's the last time we went to class? Or to bed? Or by Tristran's dyslexic spotted horse, have we even been to the Great Hall for a meal?”

Harry shrugged as he returned to looking over the Marauder's Map. “Dunno. Why? Are you hungry? I can always call a house elf or something for some food to be brought up...”

“No, that's not it.”

“Okay. So?”

The fiery-headed sixteen year old stuck her tongue out at him. “I mean, doesn't this day seem weird... like nothing is going like it should or something?”

Closing the map carefully... which for a guy meant that it was now folded completely wrong, Harry turned and got ready to give her a proper response about why days like this actually happened, when he caught the name Peter Pettigrew dance across the edge of the Map... it was apparently okay that he could never get it folded just right.

Standing quickly, Harry was about to tell his wife of a few months what was going on when he turned to see the tiny ball of fire already running out the door of the Head Suite. ::: I saw it all in your head, snookums.:::

Which left Harry nothing else to do but to tear out after her. Sirius might be dead, but the chance to clear his name was just too tempting to let pass. And Gunny knew that, as well.

The real question that no one would ask was did Vold-A-Fart know that, too?


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


They had been too slow to make it to the battlements in time. Harry silently berated himself for once again running through the giant castle when he could simply teleport himself from one spot to another in the blink of an eye.

Ginny, wisely seeing that his mood was not going to get better any time soon, offered to talk to the various students they had on watch around the castle and suggested that the young walking nuclear reactor try to calm down, maybe even find Merry Zu and see if she had any training advice for him while she took care of the drudge work.

After a quick kiss and a grope or seven in a broom closet, Harry left his wife to handle things and it was soon that Harry found himself in Merry's quarters, talking about everything that was bothering him.

“I just don't get it, Merry-Merry.” He lamented. “You'd think that with everyone acting all like I'm the Chosen One and stuff that if I said I had a plan that they would actually take notice and listen to said plan.”

The half-vampire catgirl nodded in support as she curled up on the couch, never bothering with the fact that she was practically nude alone in her quarters with a student. And a distant family member, at that. Nope, she was currently in nothing but a few skimpy scraps of leather and lace and her fur.

Sadly, neither the boy nor the girl took much notice.

Running her claws/fingers through the dark purple mane of her hair, she blinked repeatedly and waited until Harry stopped pacing around her room.

“I can't really say, Harry. I'm kinda out of touch with the world, ya know?” She grinned. “Other than the fact that your magic called to me those years ago, I'd probably still be in Japan posing for those artists.”

Merry paused for a moment. “What is a chicken tie, anyway?”

“What?”

She worried at her lower lip. “That's not it. A hen something. Maybe a hen's tie. What is that?”

Harry shook his head. “No clue. The Japanese culture always freaked me out. Loved the swords, though.”

The current DADA instructor started to say something, but a sealed parchment in Harry's pocket caught her attention. “Harry? What's in your pocket?”

The raven-haired magician gave her a scathing look. “If this is another wand in your pocket joke...”

“No.” She shook her head. “Seriously. What is that?” She asked, pointing at the pocket of his robe.

He stopped and pulled the formal looking letter out and quickly opened it to peruse what it might contain. While Harry read, Merry reached under the cushion she was resting on to see why she was so uncomfortable. She shook her head in puzzlement as she pulled out a very large book.

“Oh, God. Not another marriage contract!” Merry looked up in time to see Harry tossing the offending parchment to the floor before his magic flared, the paper fading out of existence before it had a chance to fall still.

Merry looked up from Hogwarts: A History... she must have stolen it from Hermione and then forgotten all about the prank. “Who was this one from?”

“The family of Tracey Davis.” Harry sighed.

The Dark Arts teacher frowned, her forehead scrunching up prettily. “She's already betrothed to Nott. Right?”

Harry nodded. “They're offering me Tracey and Theodore's first daughter.”

“Uhm. Ewww.”

“I'd only be around twenty years older...” He complained bitterly. “And I thought once people realized that I was already married to Ginny that these would stop. But noooooo... now the contracts also offer for the girl to be a secondary or tertiary wife.”

“Really?”

The dark-haired wizard rolled his eyes. “Some even offer to kill Ginny for me. Isn't that a wonderful addition to a dowry. Offing the first.”

“I'm sorry, Harry.” Merry Zu offered sincerely.

“That wanded Rita! Ever since she got her job back at the Daily Prophet, she's made my life a living nightmare. Not only did she bribe some poor, unsuspecting and innocent Goblin into giving her a copy of the Black and Potter wills... she somehow learned that I'm an Heir to at least two of the Founders.

“Now, every pure-blooded and full-blooded and half-blooded family in the Wizarding World is trying to get me married off.”

Merry stretched out on the couch, enjoying the sunshine that warmed her fur. “What did you expect? You have more money that many large countries have, you own the Potter Ancestral Estates... not to mention that Stonehenge is yours since your great, great, great...”

“I get it.” Harry interrupted.

The Catgirl professor grinned. “Anyway. The Potters built it on land they owned. Besides, several of the British royalties' homes are on land under your control. Its a nice thought that you're the landlord for the Queen.”

“Great.”


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


Merry sighed from the doorway. She had hoped to have cheered Harry up earlier when he had stopped by her room, but it had been an utter failure. He had soon left and Ginny had then approached, worried that Harry was blocking their connection and she couldn't seem to get though to him.

The eighteen-ear-old looking girl moved a wisp of her purple hair away from her face and sighed again. Louder this time.

Harry nodded in her direction, finally acknowledging her presence but still unwilling to chance taking his powerful gaze from the hillside below. Wormtail was out there. He could feel it.

“Thought you might wanna know that Thomas is still kneeling in the hallway...” Merry stated.

Harry shrugged. “So?”

“He keeps pointing his wand at his forehead muttering obliviate over and over again, then breaks down and cries that it didn't work and then starts all over again.”

That was enough to capture his attention for a brief glance her way. “Do what?!”

The gorgeous trybrid nodded brightly. “You heard me. I took it to Dumbledore... but his breathing started to get all heavy... like he was suffering from asthma or something, as I described what poor Dean had gone through. When I was done, he asked to be left alone... so, I'm bringing it to you to deal with.”

“Gee.” Harry replied. “Thanks a bunch.”

“Anytime.”

“What do you want, Merry-Go-Round?”

The catgirl's eyes shimmered from gold to silver. “First, you gotta remember I'm a teacher now. A part of the establishment. Show some respect.”

Harry rolled his eyes in response.

Merry tilted her head cutely. “Yeah. Didn't think that one would work.”

She drew closer to her friend. “I know you're upset about so many things, Harry. The responsibility of the prophecy. The chance at clearing Sirus' name. Passing your NEWTs. Can you every get Ginny to play legionnaire and slave girl using whipped cream and power tools.”

Harry barked a quick laugh. Merry's eyes danced. “See? If my many centuries of unlife have taught me anything, Harry, its that you have to laugh even in the hardest of times. Okay?”

The Scion and Heir of Potter, Black, as well as two Founders, opened his mouth to respond when a pickaxe seemed to suddenly become imbedded into his skull, the scar connection between himself and Dark Thingie blasting open in a tidal wave of pain. Absently, he thanked the stars above that he had been blocking Gin-Tin-Tin before this happened.

Time had run out.

Before the blackness rose up to take him under, Harry reached out caught Merry's hand. “There's no time for the super-secret plan... no choice about it... evacuate. Hide...”

And then nothing.


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


Harry awoke to a bizzaro world of screams and smoke and the sounds of spell fire being shot off in various directions, the colors and dizzying speeds only adding to the difficulty of understanding what was going on. Hazily, he pulled himself up off the cold, hard snow covered lawn and tried to make sense of where he was and what exactly was going on.

Glancing up, he could see a figure standing over him, protecting him. His first thought would have been Gin or Mer. Maybe even Mione. But on closer inspection, the telltale green of Slytherin could be discerned at the hem of the robe. After a few moments, the angel turned and regarded Harry neutrally.

“Okay, there, Potter?”

Harry nodded, ignoring the throbbing coming from his scar and link to the One-No-One-Named-Aloud. “Blaise?”

The beautiful student grinned, and Harry was suddenly struck with the realization that whether male or female or both... or even neither... Blaise was easily a nine on the hotness scale.

Did that make him gay? Not that there was anything wrong with that...

::: You are definitely not gay, Love.::: Ginny's voice cut through everything else. :::Glad you could join us. Tom's here and he wants to play.:::

Harry shook his head to clear away the cobwebs and stood, smiling down at Blaise as he did so. “Thanks for watching over me.”

Zabini chuckled. “Definitely my pleasure.”

Ignoring that, Harry brushed at his robes and focused on getting his magick up in case of an attack. ::: So what's going on? What have I missed?:::

::: Dumbles and the other adults have been providing cover while the students have been herding the lower years to the pre-planned portkeys to get them to Potter Manor.::: Djinn sighed. ::: The elves are gonna be busy for months cleaning everything up.:::

::: And ours? The D.A.?:::

The silence was telling. Finally, his one and only answered. ::: Okay. It helped the Gred and Forge dropped off those new products last week. We've got all of the no-names running scared, but Belatrix and those that get actual name time are giving us some hard hits.:::

Sighing, he couldn't help but ask. :::Who?:::

::: Neville's down.::: She immediately replied. ::: The Creevy brothers, too. Several Hufflepuffs... most of the Ravenclaws.:::

::: So... doing about normal, eh?:::

:::Cheeky bugger.::: His wife laughed mentally across the bond. The Boy-Who-Lived started to continue the banter, but a dark robed figure took that opportunity to glide across his field of vision.

Moldie-Shorts had arrived!

“Oh, Tommy-boy!” Harry called out. “Let's do this, you no-nosed wanker.”

::: Be careful, stud-boy!:::

“Oh, goody.” The self proclaimed Dark Lord of the British Isles laughed. “Not another attempt at angering me by calling me names. Do you really think that will work? That I would get so upset that I'd lose control and give you the opening you needed to win?”

Harry held his composure. Seems part one of his super secret plan was out. Maybe part two would workout better... as he called his magic to his hand, he let out a heart battle-cry.

The final battle was on!


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


It had been a glorious fight. Merry had been simply astounded at the amount of ambient magical energies that had been released as the two opposing forces of destiny had clashed together. Lights of spells had intermingled and danced across the sky, a firework production the likes of which had possibly never been seen before and might never be seen again.

Through it all, Ginny had never wavered from protecting the flank of her husband and lover. Dementors, only briefly turned away from the numerous patroni cast about had been unable to stop the falling spears of ice that struck the heart of each demonic beast. If revenge was a dish best served cold, then death was the ice cream man... or woman, in little Ginny Potter.

V-dude had eventually faltered, Harry's unrelenting burst of curse after hex after charm after curse had whittled its way down until the artificial body of the former Slytherin Head Boy was left on the field, battered and broken.

All had stood proudly as Harry stood over the broken opponent, the Sword of Godric suddenly appearing... the Man-Who-Vanquished stood posed to strike, no hesitation or mercy in his gaze, when a hated voice called out over the field, pausing all.

It was then that all eyes turned to witness Lucius Malfoy and another Death Eater holding Ron Weasley hostage.

As the shimmering blade lowered from its potential death blow, Harry recoiled as he listened to the raspy chuckles from the man he'd just beaten. “Seems we are not yet done, are we Harry Potter?”

For a brief moment, Harry considered letting Ron fall and striking the bald criminal at his feat, but he knew there was no way. Above the sounds of Hermione suddenly weeping, Ginny's voice broke through his various thoughts.

:::He's my brother, Harry. Your best friend.:::

Harry hung his head. ::: I know.:::

To Voldemmort, Harry nodded. “Run, coward. Your days are numbered. Light always drives back the dark.”

“We shall see, Harry. We shall see.”

As the broken body of the Death Heads' leader vanished, Harry turned to glare at Malfoy and his accomplice. “Well?”

Draco's father grinned. “Come and get him, Potter. We'll be waiting.”

Hermione looked at Ronald mournfully, lamenting the lost opportunities. Unable to hold silent any longer, she called out just as Ron was pulled roughly by the elder Malfoy and Goyle.

“Ron?”

The young man glanced over. “What now, Herms? Kinda busy here. You're cutting into my dashingly heroic sacrifice scene.”

The bookworm bit at her lower lip. “I love you, Ron.”

In a true moment of absolute coolness, Ron nodded sagely. “I know.”

She had no way of truly understanding how she would have reacted in a normal manner from such a comment, as the Lark Dord's people took that exact moment to apparate away... taking Ron as their hostage against the might of Harry Potter. All that was left was for the young Gryffindor to fall to her knees and continue weeping.


..ooOO SCENE BREAK OOoo..


It was a somber group that gathered in the Great Hall. Teachers and Professors and other adults moved about the room, each looking to offer what comfort they could. In cases where no adult was available, older students carefully talked and encouraged the younger years to stay calm... stay calm and drink lots and lots of hot chocolate provided by the numerous house elves that worked at Hogwarts.

Near the head table, Harry and Ginny Potter were holding an impromptu court, only those that were closest and most trusted were allowed near. It was harsh, the treatment others got when they attempted to approach, but one of their own had been taken this very day.

“Don't worry, Hermy Joan.” Harry smiled bitterly. “We'll get him back. I've got a plan.”

Merry Zu hugged the bushy-haired girl in a show of support. “And it'll be better than the last one.”

Harry rolled his eyes, willing to let that comment slide. It hadn't been his fault that for the magic to work properly, others had to know about it beforehand. It was common knowledge that all great plans had to be told to large numbers of people before being executed. That's how the telly said it was supposed to work!

He kept quiet, the chance for the super secret plan could happen later...

:::Voldie better watch out.::: Gin's voice was dark in flavor. Aloud she spoke. “We're gonna go Top Wand on his buttocks!”


..ooOO CLOSING CREDITS OOoo..


I think I was able to hit almost every point on the Challenge. I used the proper title. Included the title's restriction request. I went down the list. All good, I think.

The only points that I actively am sure that I wasn't able to incorporate were making the two lead characters Head Boy and Girl and stashing them in the Head Suite. I didn't include a Dark!Ron, though I really, really, really wanted to. Also, I stayed away from the Evil Overlord List. Too much trouble, if you ask me, mate.

Now... as for my Mary Sue... I counted up my score and only hit thirty-five on her Litmus Test, but I did include her as a catgirl, so I was unsure as to whether I got bonus points for that. There was plans for a twin sister and the American accent (and even some telekinesis) those fell to the cutting room floor. Sorry.

Well, it was real. It was fun. I'm not sure I can say it was real fun, though.

Just kidding.

This was a blast. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Peace.
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