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What Goes Around, Comes Around | ||||
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Category: Alternate Universe Characters:Draco Malfoy, Harry/Ginny, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black Genres: Angst, Fluff, Romance Warnings: Disturbing Imagery, Extreme Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Violence/Physical Abuse Rating: R Reviews: 8 Summary: It started out as something between friends. Harry teaching Ginny. Little did he know just how much she would teach him... This is a story of love, passion and regret but mostly of always finding your way home. Whatever the costs. Hitcount: Story Total: 3579 Disclaimer: Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Note the opinions in this story are my own and in no way represent the owners of this site. Author's Notes: Alrighty, well this story was orginally at Fanfiction.net but i figured i'd give it a go here. Don't worry, it does get better, and whilst characters may seem unlike themselves, everything is explained in due course. Its a bit of a rollercoaster, but i hope you enjoy. =) |
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- Erma Bombeck I watched as the city grew further and further away, to be replaced by green sceneries and polluted-free skies. I watched as a beautiful snowy white owl flew ahead of the train, before doubling back and flying forward once more. Hedwig was obviously enjoying herself. It wouldn’t be long before Hermione joined me and I would once again allow her to take lead in the compartment, I felt like laughing at the predictability of it all. Hermione would enter the compartment, she'd turn into ‘head-girl’ mode and completely take over the entire meeting, like I hoped she would. If I was unlucky, which I usually was, she'd ask me to contribute. I watched amused, like I knew I would be, as perfects started crowding the compartment, followed closely by the Head girl and the infamous Ron Weasley, who in turn grinned as Draco Malfoy came into view. He was obviously uncomfortable, as he sat down he placed his hands on his thighs, his face grimacing every once in a while as he twitched uncomfortably in his seat. Lastly entered Ginny Weasley, she stared at me and glared, to which I smirked back and winked. Ron sat next to me “Shot him a shrinking spell...you know, down there” he laughed quietly “unfortunately the git should be back to normal in an hour or so...I think so anyway” I laughed quietly, hushing up when I spotted Hermione frowning at me. Malfoy hadn’t changed at all, not even with the death of his father. In fact Malfoy was darker than ever before, full of bitterness and hate and that made him dangerous, maybe we should have felt bad for him, but we didn’t, mostly because he was still a git and Ron found no reason to not hex him. I whispered something back; an idea for a prank that rivalled Fred and George Weasley, something I knew would make Malfoy even more uncomfortable. Ron turned to fully face me, a playful grin on his face “I like it, how very Slytherin of you Harry”. I smirked and elbowed him in the gut. Ron grunted and returned his attention to his girlfriend, who was pointing out the rules of curfew to the newer perfects. She turned her head towards me for a fraction of a second and continued when I shook my head slowly. I couldn’t be arsed with doing my Head boy duties today, it was just one of those days. I found myself once more looking at everyone in the compartment, it was littered with a mixture of Gryffindor’s, Ravenclaw’s, Hufflepuff’s and a good deal of Slytherin’s too. As Hermione drowned on and on, I found myself remembering the last few years I had spent at Hogwarts, knowing all too well that I had to make this one the best yet. I had been thought to fight dark wizard's from before I was even legally allowed to do magic (my wand had been immediately made untraceable by Uncle Sirius Black when it was first brought) it hadn’t been easy at times. Sure I had spent a great deal of time with the Weasley’s, Sirius had to work and it was difficult even when Uncle Mooney came to live with us, two single bachelors found it difficult looking after a child on their lonesome, so I regularly visited Molly Weasley’s place and even though that meant me and Ron had been best friends since forever and I never felt as though I missed out on anything as a child, there were many times when I wished I could just be like every other kid, with no weight on my shoulders and without the fame the scar on my forehead brought. I hated my scar with a passion. I glanced at every person in the small cramped compartment, taking in their healthier appearances and fear-less eyes. I did that I thought, I had rid the world of the darkest wizard alive, and I was the reason people didn’t live in constant fear for the lives of their family members. I was the reason the Wizarding world was at peace. No matter how much of a bad childhood Voldemort had made me suffer, no matter how much I will still suffer because of the nightmares and the memories it brought, he had killed my parents and I had killed him. But of course I hadn’t been alone, the Order had helped and my friends had helped as much as I let them. I felt no remorse with taking his life, I felt cleaner actually, but while the wizarding world was at peace, I still wasn’t, it was just too many memories and too many nightmares and I still couldn’t handle it. It would take some time to heal. Problem was I didn’t exactly know how to heal, however silly that sounded. That was the thing with memories, the harder you tried to forget them, the more they burned in your mind. My eyes stopped when they found Ginny's face and I felt myself smile. She’s still mad at me! It had been ages and she still couldn’t look at me without glaring first. So I had dated one of her closest friends and then sort of left them in a rather cruel way, but in my defence they knew what they were getting into when they ‘dated’ me! I made sure to tell them I was in it only for the joys and that I would most likely never want to talk to them again when I was finished and for some reason they still got upset afterwards. It wasn’t my fault. She caught me staring and I continued to smile even as she glared at me. My smile grew wider when she finally decided to smile back. Our eyes locked for a moment before she turned them away from me to pay attention to Hermione. Ginny and I were the best of friends. I felt drawn to her for some reason and it wasn’t the fact I had saved her life before, it was something about her that made me want to be a better person even though I knew as soon as she was gone I’d turn around and be a bastard again. I still held the record for using the most broom closet with the most variety of girls. I’m sexy, I’m rich, and I’m powerful. But I suppose I am also a bastard. In my defence, I had never gotten the opportunity to act my age, and the one time I did it had such a backlash that I vowed never to become involved with a girl again. So I acted my age, and I acted like a prick, I just didn’t see anything wrong with it. Ginny had become more beautiful which each passing year. She had long auburn red hair, chocolate brown eyes that twinkled with mischievousness and a smile that made the boy’s week in the knees. She had lost a lot of the baby fat in her face though some remained behind, giving her an innocent look. A look she took advantage of to get out of trouble. The top of her head reached my nose, she was just the right height that all I had to do was shift my head a bit and I could place my chin on top of her head, or kiss her temple without much difficulty. I did it often, much to her annoyance because I knew it reminded her of just how short she was. I didn’t understand how our relationship worked though. We were passionate with each other, it was intense, it was comfortable and I could open myself up to her and not feel afraid of the consequences, so why on earth had I not dated her already? That was easy, One; because she thought that as far as dating went I am the biggest pig she’d ever seen, she had told me it often enough, and two; I had been told by Ron to never make a move on his sister, Ron trusted me with his life and with the love of his life but not with dating his sister. Smart guy, I thought, smiling sadly,I probably would mess things up anyway. Before long the meeting was over. I cringed when I found Hermione’s disapproving glare being sent my way, I looked around hoping she wasn’t staring at me, but finding no one I smiled back, pretending to wave a white flag. She shook her head, a smile on her face before she sat herself in Ron’s lap, I moved to sit with Ginny on the other side, it wouldn’t be long before Ron started feeling Hermione up, and remembering the time he had “accidentally” brushed my thigh in the most sexual way imaginable, well, no one could blame me for not sitting next to them. Ginny looked at me, concern echoing in her chocolate brown eyes “You okay Harry?” she whispered, when I didn’t respond, she took my hand in hers and squeezed gently “Nightmare’s?” I nodded slowly; aware Hermione was watching us and quickly stared out of the window, slightly disappointed when Ginny removed her hand from mine. Suddenly I found nature getting the better of me and I excused myself. Walking pass the different compartments, full of laughing students each happy to be alive, brought a smile to my face as I continued down towards the toilets. The smile slipped from my face as I found myself being stopped by people wanting to say ‘hello’ or ‘thank you’, I was beginning to feel as though I was in a line about to talk to the whole of Scotland, everyone seemed to want a piece of me and more than once I had to hide when I saw an ex-girlfriend, who most likely wanted to either hook up again or tear me to shreds. Considering the last one I saw was Ginny’s friend it was probably a mixture of the two. We would snog in the corner; she would be upset when I didn’t spare her a second glance the next day and Ginny would be the one tearing me apart. Even I’m not stupid enough to provoke Ginny Weasley on purpose. No one ever comes out unscathed. I finished my business and washed my hands, drying it on the towels provided, and quickly headed back to the compartment. I smiled when I noticed that Neville and Luna had joined us. I sat down and found myself feeling unusually happy, there was no Dark Lord to come and kill me, no worrying that my family could be attacked overnight and for once there was an optimistic feeling about the unknown. I stared at Ginny’s laughing face. Something told me this year would be very different to all the others. Something told me, this year, would be the one that really changed my life, forever. Bring it on, I thought, feeling ready for anything. We reached Hogwarts in good time and Dumbledore made his usual speeches and gave the usual warnings and both me and Ron found it hard to keep a straight face when Dumbledore mentioned that the Forbidden forest was exactly that, Forbidden, it was when he gave a pointed look in our direction that I found myself trying to look innocent. Hermione hadn’t been to keen on going on that particular adventure last year, so it had been just me and Ron. But that was another story. I spotted Ginny a bit further ahead, talking fast with her boyfriend Dean; she seemed to be frowning and shaking her head furiously.I don’t know what she sees in him, he can barely pick a decent football team. My head seemed to be demanding that I slept and it didn’t surprise me when Dumbledore dismissed everyone before I had even fully grasped the concept that we had all eaten and it was already time to go. Time seemed to be flying past me today. I found myself barely making it to the common room before I laid my head on the squishy arm-chair, I would go to bed soon, Hermione was nagging me enough too, but first I wanted to see Ginny. She hadn’t stopped once with the heated discussion with Dean the whole way from the great hall to the seventh floor corridor before they disappeared out of sight, but he had come in a few minutes ago, looking slightly fearfully at me and Ron. Ginny hadn’t come back yet and I was insanely curious. Ron yawned, rubbing his stomach, a satisfied look on his face “Harry I’m going up, you coming?” he asked, already half way towards the stairs, Hermione had also gotten up and was making her way to her Head girl room. I lifted my tired body and stretched out on the bigger sofa “No, I’ll wait for Ginny”. He looked at me funny for a bit but chose not to comment. He had never understood my relationship with his sister, I wasn’t surprised. At times I don’t understand it either. “Whatever, night Harry” he said over his shoulder before hugging Hermione and then disappearing up the stairs. Hermione gave me one fleeting knowing look before waving and heading up a different set of stairs, a faint ‘Goodnight’ echoed down towards me. My head turned at the sound of the portrait opening and my eyes widened when Ginny came in, an angry look on her face. I stood up wearily, my stance defensive. Great, just great, someone had poked the sexy red dragon and now I was expected to calm her down. I grimaced as she stormed past me up towards the girl’s dormitory. “Ginny. Ginny! Whoa! Wait up Gin, what’s wrong?” I asked, grasping her wrist as she tried to escape me She whirled around and faced me, glaring at me like I had just said the wrong thing “What is it with you men huh? Is it because you carry a penis, does that make you allowed to treat woman like shit?” I was confused, was I suppose to answer her? I found myself becoming wide awake; I had to stay alert when she worked up a storm. I found myself backing half a step as she took a step forward towards me. “Err...?” I began, about to shrug “No it doesn’t! It bloody well doesn’t!” she screamed, her whole manner radiating power, I was pretty sure if she was in her animagus form she would be growling at me right now. Maybe I had said the wrong thing? Or...Maybe it was her time of the month? I still have scars the last time she got this mad... Then suddenly her eyes become sad and I become more confused “I just, is it me? I thought...maybe...I was good...but...obviously not...but I thought...” she looked at me, pleading me to understand. How the bloody hell could I understand what she was on about?! I was her best friend, not a mind reader; I was her guy best friend not Hermione. I knew what to do with a girl when she was naked, that was very simple, that came naturally. But something so delicate and complicated like female emotions, well that was way out of my league. In many ways I was still very ignorant. I stepped forward cautiously, letting her know by the look on my face that I didn’t have a clue what on earth she was on about. Gently still, I let my arms wrap themselves around her shoulders, before pulling her into a tight hug, letting her bury her face in my neck. After I thought she had settled down a bit I guided her onto the sofa. I quickly glanced at the clock, 11:30. I tired to fight back the yawn that tried to escape, I should be asleep and I felt every part of my body tell me I needed it. But I couldn’t, Ginny had always been there for me, whether I wanted her to or not, whether I was brave enough to ask for it or not, she had always been there, in many ways she had saved my life more than I had hers. I owed her everything. She looked at me thoughtfully, her eyes suddenly lighting up and a fierce, determined look spread across her face. It was the same look she had when she got one of her ideas. Now I was really worried, I was starting to expect anything from her, was she going to ask me to duel her? I knew she asked when she got particularly angry. Maybe she would ask me to go in the forest with our animagus forms? But I was so tired... “I want you to teach me to be better...” she coughed quickly, blushing like crazy, but she jutted her chin out, holding her head high “I want you to teach me to kiss better, to touch a person better, I want you to teach me to be more comfortable...sexually” she finished, blushing even more so. My eyes popped open, my mouth went dry and I felt my blood rush from my head as a million pictures of Ginevra Weasley naked flashed through my mind...she was trying to kill me. I had expected she wanted something, but I hadn’t expected this She saw my face and quickly explained “look Harry, don’t get me wrong, I still think you’re a pig, I would still rather date Malfoy than you, no offense, Actually, maybe that's too far. It’s just Dean’s the second guy who...dumped me” she winched slightly “because I don’t ‘put out’...or not in the ‘right’ way, please Harry, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it, not for them, but for me...please. ” I felt her lift my chin up, saw her eyes plead with me again. It would be easy to say no, she would take it reasonably well and we wouldn’t be awkward afterwards, that was who she was, she refused to let thing’s be difficult with us. But I also knew it would hurt her pride. Her pride, however small as it was now, would diminish if I said those two letter words. I couldn’t say no, she would be crushed and I would never forgive myself. I knew Ginny, she didn't like showing weakness, she didn't like to ask for anything, and I could tell it cost her a lot just to even ask me. Besides, I couldn't deny the selfish part of me, that had begun to become more awake and voicing of it's opinion's who wanted this so badly. Best friend or not, I was only human and Ginny Weasley was Goddess. I took a deep breath “O.K” “O.k.?” she repeated, as if she needed to be sure she had heard right “O.k.” I repeated back “but what about-“ “No strings” she interrupted, a huge smile on her face, her eyes shining in relief “We won’t let this get awkward, it’s just one friend helping another. Simple as” But something told me it wouldn’t be that simple. I think she knew it too because there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. I found myself staring unabashedly at her, she really was beautiful. She always thought her eyes were boring brown, but I found them filed with warmth, filled with passion and love for everything she did, and my God, I couldn’t deny that I had wanted to run my hands through her hair a million times over the years. She was gorgeous and way too good for me. “O.K I’ll do this but we won’t tell anyone alright Gin? I don’t particularly feel like telling Ron this” She nodded in understanding, obviously not in a rush to tell Ron either. “O.K...” I said once more, I didn’t seem to be able to say anything other than that, my blood was way south “we’ll meet up somewhere tomorrow after lessons, I’ll find somewhere we can err...’study’ and we’ll sort everything out then” She smiled in relief and I felt the beginning of awkwardness come between us. Letting out a shaky breath I pulled her into another hug, wanting her to know I was O.k. with this and that we would work this out. I wanted her to be happy, even if that meant I would have to suffer what was likely to be a very painful year. I could already see the many, many cold showers ahead, the many wishful looks of longing I would throw at her. I breathed her in, strawberry and roses. I found myself hopeful that maybe I could get her to change her mind about me; maybe she would finally see how serious and committed I could be to her. You see that was the problem, she trusted me with everything, her family, her life; she just didn’t trust me with her heart. I would change that, I needed too. Because, I thought, pulling her tighter to me, not missing the fact we fit perfectly together, or the soft sound of pleasure she let out when I wrapped my hands around her waist, she already had my heart. Someone was punishing me for my sins, I was sure of it. I was the addict to the heroin and I was allowed to have a little bit, knowing full well it would be taken away from me soon. She was my heroin, and I was her addict. She just didn’t know it yet. I looked down at her peaceful face and felt my heart begin to very slowly break in two. Painfully slowly. |
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