Soooo my story, Duplicity, is up on amazon kind le unlimited for FREE. FREE I say! Author name is Sarah Jaune And not to vague-post, but I might need money for a lawyer because of the book so if you have kind le unlimited please go check it out LOL SOB No seriously, I'm not joking... hopefully it's all nothing.
Thank you Arnel for beta'ing!
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The Space Between | ||||||
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Category: Post-Hogwarts, Post-DH/AB, Post-DH/PM Characters:All Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Fluff, General, Humor, Tragedy Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Disturbing Imagery, Extreme Language, Intimate Sexual Situations, Mental Abuse, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use, Rape, Sexual Situations, Spouse/Adult/Child Abuse, Violence, Violence/Physical Abuse Rating: R Reviews: 584 Summary: Harry and Ginny's lives have finally evened out. They've faced trauma, and loss, more than most have, but they've fought hard to find a normal. If only things could stay that way... Old enemies find new ways to seek revenge. This story is the sequel to Bound. It would be extremely helpful if you read that first. Warnings are to be safe. It's probably overkill. Please message me if you have any questions or concerns. Hitcount: Story Total: 353470; Chapter Total: 1567 Awards: View Trophy Room Author's Notes: |
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Chapter 68 Things had been very quiet since Nat’s parents had gone back to work, flying off to where ever it was they were flying off to. It was something Nat was used to, and she’d never really thought about it much, but like Scorpius she was more than a little thankful to have a family she came home to. Alright, so technically she never left the house. She went to other family members’ homes sometimes and sometimes Harry or Teddy would take her to Diagon Alley, but in general she stayed at Ivy Run or went over to hang out at Caroline’s with baby Alex, who she adored beyond reason. She really wanted a family. Nope, don’t think about that, Natalie. Nat bent her head to her work and would not think about the fact that Al had sent her a note saying he and his partner Lena had to do something that night. She didn’t want to be a jealous wench. She didn’t want to think ugly thoughts about Lena, who was a very nice person. She was going to concentrate on this hawthorn wood and the unicorn tale and… the wood snapped. Sighing, Nat sat back and tried very hard to regulate her breathing. If she was upset, she definitely couldn’t make wands and Ollivander had been very pleased with the quality of her wands. She was making a steady income working for him, granted it wouldn’t be enough to actually support herself or anything. She was paid per wand that sold which meant she had to wait for the wand to actually find the witch or wizard. The only bright spot was she was making so many wands that Ollivander had been able to start sending some of the wands overseas to other wand makers who were in need, but they were not making as much money from those wands when they sold. She’d offered the Potters rent for her living there, but of course they’d refused. She helped around the house and did odd jobs for them. Added to that, they simply didn’t need money and they considered her family and that was the greatest thing they could have ever given her. So here she was, working on wands when it was nearly dinner time, because Al wasn’t going to come home to eat dinner with her when Ginny and Harry were out for the evening. Sighing, Nat put her tools down. She had to go in and eat and she knew Polly would have food waiting for her, so she gave in and slid off her stool in her dim work room. She doused the lights and grabbed her coat to face the late January cold snap they were under. The wind bit at her exposed cheeks as she hurried towards the warmth of the house, which she was certain would be quiet save for Polly, when the door was flung open and Scorpius stepped out with a huge grin. “Hey,” he called as he held the door open for her. “I thought I was going to have to drag you away from your workspace. Dinner is ready.” “I didn’t expect you,” Nat said as she hurried into the warmth of the kitchen. “Al said he was bailing on you and I remembered Harry and Ginny’s dinner with the Minister tonight, so I talked to Rose and we decided to eat here. Thankfully Polly didn’t throw us out when we messed up her meal plan.” “Nothing like that sir,” Polly called happily from the kitchen. She was always happiest when she had a full table. “We’re here,” Rose called from the living room and Nat glanced over to see Rose and Andrew dusting off their clothes from the Floo. “Gran nearly came over, as well, but Poppop convinced her it would be nice for us young people to have a dinner alone,” she informed them as she came over to grab plates and help set the table. “Thank you for dinner, Polly!” They were all seated and eating five minutes later and Nat smiled as Rose and Andrew talked about their wedding plans and how many ridiculous things they would have to do for the Muggle portion of the ceremony. “I keep saying we don’t need to do those things,” Andrew told them. “It isn’t the 1800’s, after all. We can do what we want to, but my Aunt Emma has her heart set on it being as traditional as possible. That’s fine, and all, but we have a lot of security concerns that don’t involve Muggles and that makes everything a hundred times more difficult. We could have people under the Imperius Curse sneak in to the ceremony!” “Point of order,” Scorpius used his fork to indicate over to Nat. “If someone is under the Imperius Curse, Nat will know in a second and we’ll have a lot of Aurors there to deal with it.” Andrew shook his head, grinning. “I keep forgetting about that. Your super power is amazing.” Nat shrugged. It was something, that was sure, but what that something was remained to be seen. She’d been called into the Ministry more than once to take a look at a suspect to see if there was anything off about them. They’d also moved all the pregnancy checks to the Auror office because it was easier to have tighter security there. Audrey had decided to scheduled them for earlier in pregnancy, as well, to lessen the damage to the mother and baby which Nat thought was a prudent idea. Unfortunately, they’d have more than one woman under the Imperius Curse, likely to go back and tattle to Isabella Crabbe about how they were curing the women. It was not a hard job, but it was a stressful one at times. The amount of damage the woman was inflicting on people was horrible, and this was only in England. They were getting reports of sickly babies in other countries and it left Nat feeling helpless that she couldn’t be everywhere for everyone, but she kept reminding herself she could only do so much and she was already doing more than most could or would. “This is a major event in the wizarding world, as well,” Scorpius went on and Nat realized she’d missed something in her wool-gathering. “I’m hearing all kinds of talk at work about the joining of a high ranking and wealthy Muggle aristocracy to the Weasley family. It’s a big deal.” “I’m more than a little amused that the goblins have a better understanding of the Muggle world than the human wizards do,” Rose mused as she shot Andrew a cheeky grin. “How does it feel to be a commodity?” He laughed good naturedly and cupped Rose’s cheek. “I get to be with you, so I do not care.” An ache deep, deep inside Nat’s chest began to throb. She was so happy for her two friends, she really was. She was happy for Scorpius and Lily. She was happy for James and Caroline. She was happy for them, but a burning part of her wished, with all her might, that someone would look at her the way Andrew was looking at Rose. Loneliness when she lived in a home with other people was a hard thing. “What sorts of things will be happening at the Muggle ceremony?” Scorpius asked as he cut into his meat. Rose began with a list of people who were included, which included several of the royal family, and then went down a list of decorations and the orchestra who would be playing. “Honestly, it’s a lot of fuss but it’s making Aunt Emma happy to fuss over it, so she can do what she likes. I was afraid I would have to pick my gown for the event, but Emma brought in a designer who makes them and we went over sketches. I asked Aunt Fleur to come help and she had some wonderful ideas. The dress should be spectacular, but I’m looking forward to my simple robes for our family celebration here in the backyard.” It had become somewhat of a tradition to have the weddings either at Ivy Run or at the beach house, but while Rose loved the beach, she said she had too many happy memories of being at Ivy Run and wanted her wedding there, in the back garden. “So, do we know what Al was up to tonight?” Rose asked the group. “Apparently James let Al know that Louis was on a bender and hadn’t been seen in a few days,” Scorpius told her as picked up his drink. Nat blinked. She hadn’t heard that before. “So, he took Lena into Muggle London to try to find him and sober him up,” he said, finishing the story. ~*~ “My brother owes me big time for this,” Al muttered as he thought about the lost opportunity to have dinner with just Nat for once. He’d been looking forward to this night for weeks now, but here he was trying to track down his wayward cousin in a pub somewhere in London. It would have been damn near impossible to find him, except Louis also had one of their special communication mirrors and he gave James a general idea of where he was. “Thanks for coming with me,” he told Lena. He was surprised when she’d said she wanted to go, but then again this was good fun compared to having to fight dark wizards. “No problem,” Lena said with a dry chuckle. She’d changed into Muggle jeans, a tight dark blue shirt, and a black leather jacket. She honestly fit straight into the crowd at the pub. Al was also in jeans a shirt, but he still felt like he stood out. “I’d be going home to my flat alone to read. This sounded a lot more appealing.” “I’m not sure pulling a drunk Louis from anywhere is going to be appealing,” Al pointed out as he scanned the dimly lit, crowded room for his cousin. Louis had not shown up to work that day. He’d learned this from Scorpius, who had said Louis hadn’t even checked in. Scorpius was currently doing a short stint with the goblins to learn their laws, which varied from the magical community, to have a better understanding of how they meshed. The goblins were not exactly the forgiving sort when it came to that type of behavior, but Louis was different. He was, not to put too fine a point on it, beautiful, and in the world of high finance, the goblins understood that a beautiful man could do a lot of things. Added to that, he was a gifted curse-breaker. The apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree, there. Bill had started to teach his son everything he could just as soon as Louis was old enough and Louis had soaked it up like a sponge. There was little about the curse-breaking world that his cousin didn’t know about, Al knew. He was already becoming an expert and it was that particular trait which had enabled him to transfer back to England well ahead of schedule. Now he could travel to other places if they needed him, but he mainly consulted for England and the goblins at Gringotts. Louis had the uncanny knack of being able to talk old widows into letting him take a crack at their family’s secret stashes, for a large fee, of course. The goblins took their cut and Louis took the rest. He was starting to gain a name for himself all over Europe, which didn’t surprise Al in the slightest. His cousin always had been a charming bastard and that wasn’t likely to change. What was surprising was hearing the talk about it at the Ministry. Usually, the banking world stayed separated from the Ministry, but if they had a valuable asset like Louis go rouge… it was not a good situation. He could wreak havoc. Of course, the only havoc Louis seemed to be getting himself into was all the girls he was chasing. Al seriously did not understand his cousin’s love life. “There he is,” Lena pointed to a back table where two beautiful women were fawning over a very obviously smashed Louis. “If their shirts were cut any lower they wouldn’t need to be wearing them,” Al grumbled as he began to push his way through the throng of people, ignoring his stomach which was connected magically to his nose and smelling fish and chips. “Alright,” he said as he came up to the table and the two women turned to him in surprise. “I need you two to unhand my cousin and leave us alone.” Both looked like they might want to protest, but Al simply stood tall, his arms crossed, and glowered. Very quickly they vacated the booth and left Louis peering up at him blurrily though one eye. “Whatya doin’ here?” “I’m going to sober you up,” Al informed him as he moved over to take him cousin’s arm. “Noooo,” Louis moaned, scooting away from Al. “Ya can’t make me!” “What are you, three?” Al asked him incredulously. “Of course, I can make you, Louis. I’m twice your size.” “Louis,” Lena said with a cheerful smile as she slid onto the seat next to Louis on his other side. “Do you remember me?” “No,” Louis shook his head as he stared at her. “Do I know you?” “We were at school together,” she explained to him as she slid his drink away from him and pulled over some sort of bread which was in a bowl. “We went to another pub a few months back with all your cousin. You dated one of my roommates, Jane.” “Jane…” Louis sighed and sagged down into his seat. “Jane was just the best! Al!! Albus!! Do you remember how amazing Jane was? She was the best!” he said, emphatically smacking each word with his fist to the table, slurring his words slightly. “Why’d I ever break up with her, Al?” “Because you’re shallow and flighty,” Al told him dryly as he resigned himself to sitting down and waiting this out. “I need some water,” he told one of the servers who had just appeared at the table. She was a little thing, barely bigger than Lily, with a pixie cut of blonde hair. “The manager wants this one gone,” the server said and Al realized she’d actually come to boot them out. “I’m working on that,” Al told her with a smile. “He’s my cousin and I’ll carry him out of here if needed, but I’m going to try to talk him out first.” She nodded, clearly alright with passing off the task of rousting Louis to Al. “I’ll get some water for him,” she said as she picked up the glass of amber liquid from the table and walked away. “Albussssss,” Louis said again as he sat up. “Do you know where Lissa went?” “Who on earth is Lissa?” Al wondered and then wondered why he was trying to ask a question of a drunk. He needed his head examined. “She’s the love of my life!” Louis whispered pitifully. “The love, the absolute love…” “I thought Jane was the love of your life?” Al pointed out sarcastically. “You don’t know your heart from your ass, Louis.” Louis blew out a breath that sounded something like ‘pshhh’ and shook his head. “Look who’s talking! I fancied Nat for a while there, but I didn’t do anything because I knew you had a thing for her and here you are still doing nothing about it! I should ask her out!” “Ask her out and I’ll break you in half,” Al promised him and paused when he realized he meant it, but then he saw his cousin was laughing and realized he’d just taken the mickey. “You walked right into that one,” Lena pointed out helpfully. “Louis,” she said as she turned back to him. It was so unfair that even clearly drunk off his arse his cousin still managed to be everything a girl would ever want. “Listen, you didn’t show up for work today which means you’re going to get fired. Whoever this Lissa is, she’s not worth losing your job over. You’ll end up homeless and then no girls will want you.” “Oh, they’ll want me,” Louis informed her as he leaned in too close to her, his expression falling. “They all want me. You want me, she wants me, even he wants me,” he said as he pointed around the room to a bloke who was definitely checking Louis out. Lena’s face went just the tiniest bit pink, but she kept her expression neutral. “They might want your face, but you’re not exactly pleasant to be around and so no one will stay.” “Nope,” he said in agreement. “No one stays! Annie wouldn’t give me a chance and I loved her so, and then I met Lissa. Do you know Lissa?” he asked Lena. “No, why don’t you tell me about her,” Lena prompted him with a pleasant smile. “Where did you meet?” “She works at the ice cream shop down from the bank,” Louis told her, clearly happy to talk about this subject. “She’s just a dream… you know? What’s your name again?” “Lena,” she answered patiently. “Lena,” Louis nodded and then lost focus. “I met Lissa a few weeks back and it was love at first sight! I just… I just adored her, you know? She is everything I ever wanted and more! I flirted with her, bought ice cream every day even though that much sugar is so bad for me and I was definitely starting to get fat from it.” Al groaned softly under his breath and rolled his eyes since his cousin was still extremely trim. “Get to the point, Louis!” “What point?” Merlin’s saggy y fronts… “Louis, tell me what happened with Lissa.” “With Lissa? OH!” he said as if the memory had snapped back into place. “I finally talked her into meeting me for a drink today… or maybe it was yesterday. I don’t know. Then she told me we could never be together!” “That’s really hard to hear,” Lena said sympathetically as she patted his hand. “Did she tell you why?” “She… she said she’s too old for me!” Al and Lena exchanged alarmed glances. “How… how old is she?” Al finally asked, not sure he actually wanted the answer. “Sixty-three,” Louis sniffed. “But who cares about a number when you’re in love?” “Louis Arthur Weasley,” Al said and was horrified at just how much he sounded like Gran in that moment. “You are nineteen years old!” “Twenty.” “Not any better,” Al told him in exasperation. “You are mental, you know that, right? You couldn’t just pick a nice girl, your own age, and settle down? You have to keep picking girls who are absolutely terrible for you?” Lena, who was clearly trying very hard not to laugh, stood and said, “I’m going to see what happened to the water.” The moment she was gone, Al leaned over to his cousin. “You have to pull it together or you’re going to ruin your life before it has even begun. Have you been hexed or something? What’s making you act like this?” Of course, Al knew he hadn’t been cursed or hexed. Nat had seen him at a family dinner only the week before and she hadn’t seen anything in him or she’d have said something. No, Louis was doing this of his own free will and for whatever reason, his free will was mental. Al heard a gasp from behind him and turned to see Lena glowering at a grinning man who was squaring off with her. “You think it’s funny to assault a woman, do you?” Lena asked as she threw the glass of water in his face. He gasped in surprise, but he wasn’t nearly as surprised as he was going to be. Two seconds later the man was down on the ground, winded and shielding his face. “We need to go,” Al said as he stood and he reached across the table to pull Louis to his feet. “Now.” “Not going,” Louis told him belligerently. “Walk out or I carry you,” Al threatened, and Louis started to walk. “You okay?” he asked Lena and she nodded. “You ruined my shirt!” the man on the ground said as he scrambled to his feet. “This is silk!” “You grabbed my butt,” Lena pointed out to him. “You deserved worse. Should we call the police and see who they haul off to jail?” “What’s going on here?” a woman of about fifty with short salt and pepper hair asked as she strode over. “Peter?” It was never, ever a good sign when someone who looked like they were in charge, knew only one of the people in the altercation. Lena nodded to Peter. “He grabbed my ass. I threw my water into his face and put him down on the ground.” Peter, who was clearly unhappy with having been bested by a woman, shook his head. “I slipped on the water!” “She totally knocked you on your arse, son,” a man hooted from nearby. “We’re going,” Al repeated as he glanced to Lena. “Unless you want to press charges.” “No,” Lena shook her head and turned to leave. The man made the mistake of grabbing Lena’s arm and Al reflexively grabbed him by the neck. The man, who was not small, was still no match for Al in height or weight. He quickly released Lena’s arm and Al released the man’s skinny throat. “Do not come back here,” the older woman said. “Absolutely no problem with that,” Al promised. “I’ve been thrown out of better places than this!” Louis proclaimed loudly to everyone in the room as Al dragged his cousin to the door. What a damn mess. ~*~ Hermione stared out of the window of her small flat above the house she and Ron owned and watched a light dusting of snow coat the grass all around their tiny yard. It wasn’t like the wonderful house they’d owned before. That house had been perfect for them. It had a big yard, space to move, and it was where she’d birthed their children. It had been her house of dreams, a quote from a Muggle novel she’d loved when she was little. She’d never had dreams of being a wife or a mother, those things hadn’t been top of her list. She’d been smart, raised by two educated people, and told she could do absolutely anything she wanted. When she’d been dreaming about a life for herself, she’d thought to stay away from the Ministry because of how badly it was being run before Voldemort and during his second rise, but a wise mentor had told her that nothing would change if people didn’t change the system. Minister Macmillan had changed the system for better. She’d made the Ministry a good place to work. It was a place where things were happening and lives were changed. They’d revolutionized how everything was done. Hermione had been a major part of making that happen and she was incredibly proud of just how much they’d managed to accomplish in just a few short years. She could see the change and be proud to be a part of it. But when she looked at her own life, she knew she hadn’t changed and she was absolutely disgusted with herself. Her therapist had beat it into her head that she was ruining her relationship with Ron and the children, but she’d kept on making the same bad mistakes over and over and over again. There was no growth in her life. There was no progress. She lived with Ron only because they had a soul bond and breaking that soul bond, which could be done if they weren’t in England, would mean she would lose her job. It was not acceptable to do that. But she’d researched it. Oh, yes, she’d definitely looked into it. She’d married Ron when they were young. No. No, she couldn’t lie to herself. Harry and Ginny had been young and sixteen and seventeen years of age. That had been very young. She and Ron had at least been adults for several years before they’d married, but if she was honest with herself, and she was trying to be honest with herself, she’d done it because she was connected to Ron in a way she was only connected to one other human being, and that was Harry. She and Harry would have made a much better couple. In temperament, they were definitely better suited to each other than she and Ron were, but in the end that didn’t mean they were well matched. Her fussy habits and workaholic nature would have driven Harry batty, just like it had done to Ron. Also, Harry needed Ginny’s stable and steady influence to make him into the family man he was now. He didn’t know how to do that, but Ginny did. Ron did. Hermione supposed she ought to have, but she hadn’t grown up in the chaos of a house with seven siblings where compromise and patience were part of everyday life. In her home everything had been neat, orderly, and tidy. She never had to share her toys, share her room, share her anything. She only had to worry about herself. It was one of the things she’d come to realize was a major shortcoming in her life and it wasn’t one she knew how to overcome. She’d wanted to stop after having Rose. She was already exhausted and too stressed out with work to have a second baby, but Ron had reminded her that having a sibling meant having someone who was there, even when your parents were gone. He was kind like that. He hadn’t pointed out that her neuroticisms wouldn’t be so bad if she’d had a younger brother breaking her toys every other day. In the end, since Ron had promised to take on most of the child rearing duties, she’d agreed and Ron had done exactly what he’d said he would do. He’d cooked dinners, dealt with bed times and mornings, was at least fifty percent of getting the children to Ginny to mind for the day when they were small. Sometimes his work schedule was busier, especially during the holidays and she took up some slack, but he more than made up for it the rest of the year. And slowly but surely, little by little, as the children needed her less and less, she worked more and more to fill whatever gaps were left in her life and in her marriage. Things with Ron had always been rocky. They’d fight and then have amazing makeup sex. Then they’d fight, but be too tired from being up all night with a sick child to have the sex and then they just stopped connecting enough to fight. She’d loved him once, or loved in a way that was possible for a goal-oriented person when they’re twenty. She cared for him, still did. Her soul bond with him made it so she would always care for him. They shared so many things together, including family, history, and trauma. Even now she still found him attractive in a way that made her want to go down and pick a fight, just so they could have makeup sex. But that was the old Hermione and the old Hermione was a wreck of a human being, one she didn’t really want to contemplate being anymore. She was going to work, she was always going to work too much. She was going to obsess and she didn’t know how to stop that since they still had an insane killer on the loose and the woman was now out killing babies with reckless abandon. Justifications… always justifications. There was no justification for taking her job home with her, or even not coming home at all because her job was her everything. They’d had a family dinner just a few weeks ago and she’d made an effort to go. It had been awkward, at first, but she’d relaxed with her sisters-in-law and after two glasses of wine things were going well, right up until the moment that Fleur mentioned helping Rose pick out her wedding dress and wedding robes. Rose hadn’t asked Hermione. To be fair, she’d have been lousy at picking them out and she didn’t resent Rose wanting her highly fashion-conscious aunt to be the one who went along. No, what bothered her is that Rose didn’t even tell her she was needing them. Hermione had sat there fuming in righteous indignation, wanting very badly to huff and puff all the ills done to her when it had hit her square in the heart. Her daughter was getting married in less than six months. Of course she’d needed a dress! Hermione hadn’t once even asked Rose about the wedding or plans for it. She’d checked out on all the details as soon as Rose had said they were engaged, and why was that? Because Hermione was sure Rose was making the same mistake she had and she didn’t want to see that happen to her daughter. It was sickening. She didn’t know if Rose and Andrew were right for each other because she hadn’t taken the time to really get to know them as a couple. She’d been too busy with too many other things to even consider what her daughter’s marriage would mean. Her daughter was going to be a duchess in the Muggle world and Hermione hadn’t been paying any attention to the wedding because of her past hang ups. Now here she was, on Valentine’s Day, sitting by herself with a glass of wine and no sweetheart. They weren’t suited to each other. They were wrong in all kinds of ways, but Hermione was going to be married to Ron until death did they part because of something she thought was a good idea when she was twenty. She’d had a session with her therapist today. She’d needed it after her disastrous visit with Hugo the previous weekend. She’d said as much to her therapist, who had finally told her she had two choices. One of her choices could be to make lemonade out of her terrible situation. Her other choice could be to wallow in her misery. Clearly Hermione was a champion wallower and it was the choice she’d been making all along. Her therapist had then asked her how that had been going for her. She was miserable. Hermione hated everything about her life except her job and her job couldn’t hug her when she’d had a terrible day. She had few friends at work because of how high up she was in the Ministry, and she had no one to confide in. Who did she have to blame for that? Herself. She’d chosen this for herself and here she was, remembering the confused look in Hugo’s eyes when she’d gone to the school to congratulate him on the award he’d received for transfiguration. He’d stood there, awkwardly, said thanks and told her he’d see her at the end of term. Hugo hadn’t wanted or expected her praise. He didn’t know how to speak to her. He didn’t want her there. Hermione took another large sip of wine and jumped when a knock sounded at the door that connected her flat to the main house. “Come in,” she called out to Ron. He pushed the door open and held up a plate. “Want something to eat?” She stared at the plate and tears pooled in her eyes, sliding slowly down her cheeks. “Only if I can eat it with you.” He studied her for a moment and then nodded. “Come down when you’re ready.” Hermione gave herself a few minutes to cry and then pull herself together before going down to join Ron at the table. They sat in silence for a moment as they both began to eat before she thanked him for cooking for her. He often did, even though he didn’t have to. “It’s no trouble,” he always said, even though it clearly was. “I went to see Hugo last weekend,” she told him. “I heard,” Ron admitted as he shifted in his seat. “Hugo wrote and told me.” Hugo wrote and told him… Hugo never wrote her letters, not ever. And suddenly, just like that, Hermione knew what she needed. “I am a terrible wife and mother.” Part of her hoped he might argue with her, tell her it wasn’t all bad, but he simply sat in silence and gave her his full attention. “I used to know how to be a good friend,” she told him, alright she more reminded herself. “I used to know how to do that. I was good at being a friend. Now I’m just… I’m just such a mess, Ron. I just want to be friends with you. Can we be friends?” “I have never stopped being your friend,” he told her gently. No, she realized. No, he had not. She’d simply stopped being his friend. She was the one who had failed them both and he wasn’t able to hold both their pieces together. He’d needed her to do that and she hadn’t done it. “Alright, that’s fair,” she said softly. “I’m going to try to be your friend again so we don’t have this hanging between us. I know I’m not capable of much more than that, but I think I can manage friendship. I’m tired of being my own worst enemy.” Ron nodded and spooned up another bite of his dinner. “That sounds good.” She hoped she wouldn’t mess it up, but she was not entirely certain she wouldn’t. Still, it was worth a try. “Also…” He glanced up at her, waiting. “As my friend, you can tell me when I’m messing up and this time I’m going to try to listen.” He nodded and they fell silent again. This was enough for now. ~*~ Lily kept her hand tight on Sera’s leash and wished she could be out of the school that day. Valentine’s Day in a school full of people who either wanted to be in love or were being jilted by love was absolute torture to her. It felt like every heart was hurting around her and all Lily could think was she was drowning in their sorrow. It didn’t help that Adam had been dogging her every step for weeks. She’d hoped he’d have given up, but no. Oh, he wasn’t being obvious about it. He was definitely keeping it casual enough that she couldn’t complain to the teachers. But she knew he was watching her. It was her gift and her curse. She could sense that he was keeping tabs on her. “You okay?” Hugo asked Lily as he stopped beside her in the hallways. Lily smiled at Hugo and shook her head. “It’s been a long day. I’m so glad it’s almost over. We just have this ridiculous party to go to and then we’re done.” “I wish they’d have let Scorpius come,” Hugo grumbled. “It would have been better if he could have come.” Lily had wished the same thing over and over again but they weren’t allowing anyone in from out of the school, which Lily understood. She could have asked to be part of the exception, but she didn’t want to be that girl. She was already that girl with her dog. She needed to manage on her own and ignore everyone else’s feelings. She’d done okay with Scorpius’ family, and she’d realized after it was over because she was trying to be strong for him, but here at school she only had herself to be strong for and she found she wasn’t good at it. No, she was not holding up well. “I don’t want you to have to hang out with me all evening,” she told Hugo. “I want you to dance with Catie and for Honor to have some time with Scott.” She really liked their significant others, although it wasn’t always perfect between them. She was wondering how much longer Honor and Scott would be together, but she kept her mouth shut about it. She was not going to interfere with anything because she really wanted to make it work between them, but it was up to Honor and Scott. Hugo and Catie, his girlfriend from Slytherin, were doing very well, though. “We’ll figure it out,” Hugo told her. “I don’t think he’ll be so bold as to talk to you when he knows that the teachers will be watching him.” Hugo had a point there. Lily nodded as she spotted Catie as the tiny blonde moved towards them. “Go have fun. I’ll be okay.” “I’ll keep an eye on you,” Hugo promised as he wandered off and Lily made her way into the Great Hall to see it was decked out for the holiday. It was very pretty, but she could imagine most of the boys would find the whole thing utterly ridiculous. Lily liked it, though. She liked the paper hearts in pinks and reds. She liked the glitter and the sparkles. She missed Scorpius badly, but she was coping. Then she felt the itch on the back of her neck and she had to fight not to turn around and see Adam staring at her. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. A girl she knew from Hufflepuff came up to her, smiling but Lily could see instantly it was fake. “Adam is staring at you,” she said through her tight grin. “I wanted you to know.” “I can tell,” Lily sighed as she gave the girl, Emily, a small shrug. “He does it a lot.” “He is so creepy,” Emily told him, pushing her brown hair back from her cheek. “None of us like him! It’s awful that he’s fixated on you, although some of the girls are glad that he’s giving them a break.” Lily wanted to be mad that the other girls were willing to sacrifice her so much, but honestly, she couldn’t blame them. It really did suck that Adam was such a creeper. She, at least, had Sera to protect her and they already knew Sera would protect her. “It’s fine, I’d rather it be me.” “And you have Scorpius,” Emily said dreamily, genuinely smiling now. “He’s so handsome and sweet! We all think you’re very lucky to have him, although maybe not his family.” Lily laughed then and shook her head. “We all have interesting families to deal with.” “True,” Emily said and the she sighed in relief. “He’s left the Great Hall.” “Good,” Lily said as she turned towards the refreshments table. “Let’s get something to eat. Those tarts look amazing!” She’d won for that day, in that time, but she didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She only had another three and a half months left to go in the term and then she could be out of there for the whole summer. She had Rose’s wedding to look forward to and oh, she needed to talk her father into a simply gorgeous gown while she was home for the Easter holidays! She had a bridesmaid’s dress already being made by a designer, but she needed a dress for the rehearsal dinner the night before and she wanted Scorpius to be speechless. Yes, she would focus on that for now. Nothing else mattered just then. |
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