For the next few months, I think, I am going to update in two parts per chapter. Frankly, with how busy my work life is, I just need to have shorter chunks to complete in one go.
Please consider supporting me on pa treon. Sarah Jaune... Even 1 month is a help!
Thank you to Arnel for beta'ing.
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The Space Between | ||||||
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Category: Post-Hogwarts, Post-DH/AB, Post-DH/PM Characters:All Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Fluff, General, Humor, Tragedy Warnings: Dark Fiction, Death, Disturbing Imagery, Extreme Language, Intimate Sexual Situations, Mental Abuse, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Situations, Negative Alcohol Use, Rape, Sexual Situations, Spouse/Adult/Child Abuse, Violence, Violence/Physical Abuse Rating: R Reviews: 584 Summary: Harry and Ginny's lives have finally evened out. They've faced trauma, and loss, more than most have, but they've fought hard to find a normal. If only things could stay that way... Old enemies find new ways to seek revenge. This story is the sequel to Bound. It would be extremely helpful if you read that first. Warnings are to be safe. It's probably overkill. Please message me if you have any questions or concerns. Hitcount: Story Total: 353399; Chapter Total: 949 Awards: View Trophy Room Author's Notes: |
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Chapter 75 They had a home. It was something Scorpius could still hardly believe, but Lily had money her parents had set aside for her, so they had a home. Al had money, as well, but when they’d spoken about moving in together, Al had commented that the two of them didn’t really need a whole house to themselves. It had seemed sensible and then they wouldn’t have to keep a house clean. Added to that, maybe Al would get married one day and his wife would want input on the house she lived in. Maybe he’d even get his act together and marry Nat. Okay, probably not. That didn’t look like it was ever going to happen. But now Scorpius and Lily had a home and they had that home because it wasn’t going to be the two of them for much longer. They had months yet, as she wasn’t due until April, but the time was already moving quickly. When they’d first married it had been such a rush. He’d looked down at her broken body and feared the worst, that she wouldn’t come back from it. He was afraid he’d never get to kiss her again, hold her again, or love her again. She was his everything and she was so pale, so still, laying there on the floor. But she’d been okay thanks to Nat and he’d needed to marry her. He wanted to marry her. It wasn’t even a choice for him. He’d literally needed to marry her or he wouldn’t have been complete. Their time together, as husband and wife, had been a lot of passion until the pregnancy had really taken over, and then there was still passion but tempered by his Lily’s need to sleep. Some days she was already asleep before he made it home from work. He'd spent a lot of nights holding her close and rubbing her back while she snoozed quietly there in his arms. She was better than any of his house mates from Hogwarts. She never snored. Her stomach was still flat but they’d already had the baby checked over a few times by Lily’s Aunt Audrey and so far, the baby was looking good. He’d been so stunned when Nat had said the baby was his. Stunned and relieved. Very, very relieved. It was the relief that was shaming him, relief that was holding him hostage. He shouldn’t have felt so relieved at the baby being his baby. He should have been okay with the baby no matter who the father of the baby was. He’d told Lily that he was happy with the baby because it was hers and he’d thought, at the time, that he’d truly meant it. He’d thought he was happy right up until the moment when Nat said the baby was his and the relief had told him what a massive liar he was. He hoped that he’d have loved the baby no matter what. He hoped he’d have been a good father, even if the baby hadn’t been his. He knew he would have tried but now he had to wonder how much of that was actually a lie he was telling himself and honestly, he didn’t know. The knowledge was killing him. Added to that Lily’s empathy powers seemed to be on high alert with the pregnancy and she knew something was wrong with him. He didn’t know how to explain. He just knew they had a house now and he had a wife, a dog, and a cat, and a baby on the way and he didn’t know how to tell Lily he wasn’t the man she thought she’d married. He wasn’t the man he thought he should be. And maybe part of that stemmed from the fact that he’d never had a father worth speaking of… or to for that matter. His father was a waste of space at the best of times and actively harmful at others. He hadn’t ever done anything with Scorpius except try to mold him into the kind of human being that Draco’s father would respect. It was a vicious circle and while Scorpius understood on the deepest level that he’d broken out of his family’s circle of abuse and violence, part of him didn’t know what to do now. Yes, he’d stepped off the train and he was on a new path, but it almost felt like his way was not set. He didn’t know which direction to take, what would be best, for everyone involved. His father had spent his entire life trying to lick the boots of Lucius Malfoy and all it had ever done for him was to get him kicked, over and over. Boot lickers were never respected. Lucius had wanted a son he could be proud of, but even if Draco had been that kind of man, there was no guarantee that Scorpius’ grandfather actually had that level of feeling in him. He was actually certain the old man did not, in fact, have it. Yes, he’d heard the stories of his grandmother trying her best to save her son in any way that she could. She knew she’d spared Harry Potter’s life and Scorpius could only be grateful for that, but she hadn’t been the one Draco had been trying to impress all these years and it wasn’t her that his father had wanted Scorpius to impress. His father and mother were showing up tonight for a family dinner party which would include all the Potters and Weasleys. It was a situation that Scorpius was eminently comfortable with but that his parents would not be, and he doubted very much that Lily’s grandparents were going to be happy to have the Malfoys in the same room. And still he couldn’t invite either set of grandparents to his home. He wasn’t entirely confident one of them wouldn’t try to sell Lily out to Crabbe as both sets were extremely pissed about the baby. Well, they were upset with the fact that they’d had to marry because of the baby, and to give them credit they’d worked out what had happened. He’d had a very angry owl from his mother’s father about he should have left the Potter brat to the fate that Crabbe was serving. Honestly, he was extremely thankful he now had an excuse to never see the old codger again. Lucius hadn’t yet made any threats but Scorpius’ mum had warned him not to go out with Lily because she didn’t know what Draco’s father might do. It was all a bloody nightmare, these men that Scorpius had sprung from, and now he was going to be a father and he didn’t know how that worked. He had Harry. Merlin’s beard, he was thankful for that. He’d already relied on Harry more than once when things had come up and he knew he would again in the future. He also had Arthur Weasley, who was the most patient, caring man Scorpius had ever met. He’d never once held Scorpius’ family against him, even though he had every cause to. He’d simply folded Scorpius into the family and he’d treated him like another grandson, which included his wisdom and advice when needed. One of his statements to his various grandsons had been for them to take up running together and it had been one of the best things for Scorpius to work out some of the tension. Scorpius arrived back at the dark blue house with white trim after his run with the blokes and stared up at the rambling two story home that Lily had fallen in love with at first sight. It was in the style the Muggles called Victorian. It had been built sometime in the 1890’s and was absolutely massive. It had nine bedrooms, a conservatory which had its own pond, two turret rooms, three parlors, and many other features Scorpius had probably missed. The house had been a steal of a price because it had been falling down and there was no way anyone would be able to repair it without a lot of money, but that didn’t factor in magic. It had taken Lily’s father and uncles about three days to repair the whole house and then another three days to get the wards in place so they could move in. Lily absolutely adored the huge house. She was having so much fun picking out paint colors and furnishings. Her Aunt Fleur had been over practically every day to help Lily with those finishing touches and the home looked amazing. There was an entire parlor dedicated to a cat tree. He’d come home and couldn’t believe it when she’d showed him the walkways, the climbing nooks and hiding spots for Ducky to run and play. Ducky was in heaven and happily in her parlor. Sera had a run outside she could access at any point through a large dog door off the downstairs laundry room. The house technically had two rooms to do laundry, one on both floors. The home was not as large or as grand as Malfoy manor, it was true, but it was still quite large and frankly it didn’t feel like an oppressive prison to Scorpius. That was not something to take for granted. His parents hadn’t yet come to the house, but they had seen them again since the wedding. It was more often than Scorpius had seen them in the last few years but his mother desperately wanted to be in their lives and to be in the baby’s life. She was fighting hard to keep the peace and she’d told Scorpius she would leave his father at home if that’s what Scorpius wanted. It was hard to turn off the emotions from what his father had done to him, but Draco had gone to therapy and he was definitely improving. It wasn’t as though Scorpius couldn’t see the progress in him and he wondered what it said about him if he wanted to keep holding that grudge and not let go of the past. Should one hold the past against someone forever if they were trying to change? He didn’t think so and that made it even more galling for him because he was holding his past against himself. But mostly he thought that if he had simply told Lily what he was feeling he wouldn’t still be holding onto all of this guilt. But he didn’t know how to tell her. He had tried a couple of times, but then she’d get upset and start crying, and he’d console her and end up not telling her. It was a mess. Sera lumbered around the big house from the back and wagged her way over to him, looking for a scratch behind the ears. “Hey,” he said as he gave the dog some affection. If Sera was outside it meant Lily was actually up, something that was hit or miss most mornings now. It was still quite early. Scorpius had about an hour until he needed to be at work, but it appeared he would get to see his wife before heading into the office. Lily opened the door for him and smiled as he walked up the steps to her. “Good morning,” she said as he leaned in to kiss her lightly. “I felt better this morning so I started breakfast. Do you want to get a shower first?” “Yeah,” Scorpius agreed as he straightened. “I’ll be back down in ten minutes.” They sat and ate breakfast together, which was not something they’d done in the last week, and Scorpius decided to try again to tell her what he’d been feeling. He just had to figure out how to do it. “Hugo was talking today about how much he’s going to miss you at school.” “Yeah, he said he and Honor were going to come over and hang out today before the dinner tonight,” Lily told him as she cut into her egg. “Or Honor said that she was going to drag Hugo over here,” she amended with a small smile. “I doubt he’d have thought of it on his own.” Scorpius had to admit he probably wouldn’t have. “It… something that’s been bothering me, Lils… it brought it up to me.” She slowly lowered her fork as her eyes began to water. “I knew something was wrong.” Scorpius had to fight hard against the urge to stop because he knew it was upsetting her. He had to tell her. “My dad is crap.” Lily blinked and her eyes cleared. It wasn’t what he’d meant to say but it had the effect of startling his wife enough that she forgot to worry over what he might say. She gestured with her hand, a clear signal for him to go on and she waited for him to compose himself. “We’ve talked about the fact that I haven’t had a good father, so it’ll be a learning curve to learn how to be a dad,” he said and she nodded as Sera nosed up to Lily and laid her head in her lap. “Well…” this was the hard part. He took a deep breath and blurted it out. “I was relieved when we learned the baby is mine!” There! He’d said it. He waited and watched her and she looked… confused. “Why wouldn’t you have been relieved?” Lily asked slowly. “I know I was relieved.” That wasn’t what he’d been expecting to hear. “It’s… well… I wanted to be okay with the baby no matter what.” She nodded slowly. “I see. You are concerned you might not have loved the baby as much if it wasn’t your baby.” “Yeah,” he admitted quietly. “I was worried about that.” Lily shrugged and picked up her fork. “Maybe you would have, maybe you wouldn’t have. Maybe I wouldn’t have loved the baby as much if the baby hadn’t been yours. We aren’t going to know and I’m glad we don’t have to find out. It was a bad situation,” she said consolingly, reaching her free hand over the table to take his. “We made the best of it and it worked out. I can only be grateful. But if you think about Alex not being Caroline’s baby, I still think there is the capacity to love there.” Scorpius finally took a bite of his eggs and considered Alex, who was now his nephew. Did he love Alex less for how he’d been born? No. It wasn’t Alex’s fault and why hadn’t he spoken to James about how he was feeling over the whole thing? That would have made a lot more sense than wallowing in his angst and misery! James knew exactly what all of this was like and he adored his son. It didn’t matter to anyone that Caroline hadn’t given birth to the boy. Scorpius let out a slow breath and grinned. “I’m going to try to leave early today so I can help with the plans for tonight.” “It will be great if you can,” Lily told him. “But if you can’t, don’t worry. Gran is coming over early and so is Polly. Between them the whole thing is taken care of.” ~*~ |
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