SIYE Time:16:50 on 17th January 2022

Fake It
By Celtics534

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Category: Alternate Universe, Post-DH/AB
Genres: Humor, Romance
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 47
Summary: What do you do when your friends won't stop making fun of you for still being a virgin? You go find a man and shag his brains out, right? Well, at least you fake it.
Hitcount: Story Total: 23511; Chapter Total: 4092
Awards: View Trophy Room

Author's Notes:
Huge thanks to Arnel for editing and gryffindormischief for her talks about how to write a plotless story! I find this story more of a challenge than Only the Best, but I love it so much!


“Really, Sirius?” Harry asked, leaning against the doorjamb of his godfather’s kitchen. The man in question was sitting at his table going through an old book. “Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s an old photo album with all your embarrassing childhood pictures,” Sirius’ smirk was from ear to ear as he focused his attention on his godson, “then you would be right. I thought Ginny might like to see that photograph of you when you were ten and you decided to try on that pair of tights.”

Harry’s stomach sank like a rock. He moved forward, with every intent to grab the photo album, but Sirius snatched away, hiding it behind his back. “Tisk, Tisk,” Sirius reprimanded. “I won’t have you ruining my first meeting with this girl… Actually,” a sly grin had formed on Harry’s godfather’s lip, “this is the first girl you’ve ever brought here.”

“Exactly,” Harry all but moaned. “And because of that you wouldn’t want to destroy this suave image I’ve created with a photograph of questionable legwear, now would you?”

Sirius tapped his index finger on his chin. “I don’t know, Pup. This seems like the perfect chance to relive some fond memories…”

Harry wanted to groan, but he knew that would only encourage his godfather. As much as he loved the man, his twisted sense of humor would be the end of Harry one day.

The aging Marauder seemed to decide to take pity on Harry. He closed the book and waved his wand, causing the offending photos to vanish. “You must really like this girl, mate,” Sirius leaned onto his elbows. “How long have you known her again?”

Harry had to think about it for a moment. The claim he had said to Ginny’s mother three weeks ago had proven to be true. It did feel like Ginny had been a part of his life for years now, but really it had only been… “About a month or so,” Harry admitted.

Sirius looked surprised. “Really? I thought it had been at least three months with the way you talk about her.”

Shaking his head, Harry walked over to the cool box and pulled out a Butterbeer. As he popped off the cap, he shook his head. “No.”


Harry took a swig of his freshly opened drink. Once he lowered the bottle he asked, “Huh, what?”

“Nothing,” Sirius’ mischievous smirk had come out, something Harry found to a be a warning sign.

“No, it’s something.”

“It’s just that I think little Harry is falling in love,” Sirius’ mocking lovey-dovey voice had always annoyed Harry. It was the same tone he had used when Harry had become tongue tied when meeting his favorite Quidditch player at the age of ten. Harry was about to deny Sirius’ claim, but it was like his throat refused to allow words to pass through it. Which made Sirius’ mocking expression change to a compassionate one. “Wait, really?”

Another perfect opportunity to deny it, but Harry couldn’t. He wasn’t sure if he was completely in love with Ginny Weasley, but in all honesty, he was falling, and he was falling hard. It was like someone had tied weights to his ankles and pushed him over a ledge, the distance from the top to bottom was unknown, but there was no stopping it now.

Sirius stood from his seat and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Okay, I’ll be good.”

“Thank you,” Harry couldn’t contain his relief.

“But you have to tell me more. Everything between you two is going well emotionally and physically?” Sirius looked slightly uncomfortable. He was always good a quick dirty joke, but talking about adult relationships had never been Sirius’ strong suit. Harry could still remember when Remus and Tonks had become a couple. As much as Sirius loved both of them, the idea of talking about their feeling and issues had always been awkward to the ladies’ man.

If he was completely honest with himself, Harry wasn’t a fan of talking about his feelings himself either, but there had been a couple of things nagging at him since that first time Ginny had spent the night in his bed. The night they had almost… “Sirius… you know I never have…” Harry let his voice hang, clearing his throat.


Harry shook his head. He could practically feel the heat radiating off his face. An egg could fry his cheeks.

For his credit, Sirius didn’t tease or look surprise. He just nodded understandingly. “And you want to know what to do and what it will be like?”

Harry nodded, immensely glad his godfather understood him so well. He wasn’t sure he could speak anymore if ever again.

“The best advice I can give you is to not stress. Everything will come naturally. Just make sure that your partner is comfortable.” Sirius’ was in his parent mode. He wasn’t teasing or making the situation feel uncomfortable. He was genuinely trying to make Harry feel better about things, which was the best part of Sirius’ parent mode. “And as long it’s with some you truly care for, everything will be perfect.”

Though Sirius had been trying his best not embarrass Harry, the young adult’s face was still flush. “Thanks, Sirius.”

Sirius smiled at his godson, as if he were his own and gave his cheek two quick pats. “Anytime, Pup.”


“And then,” Sirius said through his laughter. “James tries to impress Lily with a song — he wrote! Let me tell you, she wasn’t impressed, and she didn’t like the phrase he rhymed with ‘you’re no hag’.”

Ginny was in tears as Sirius told old stories about him and his old crew. Her body shaking from laughter, she giggled, “I bet she didn’t like that phrase at all. All the while, you and Remus were just sitting there under his cloak?”

“Yes! Lily found out on the night before their wedding, when James was to pissed to know what he was saying.”

“That’s bloody brilliant! How did Lily take that?”

“She smacked me and Remus upside the head and told us off for letting our best mate make such a fool of himself.”

Ginny snorted. “I would have done the same thing.”

Harry sat back on the plush sofa cushion. Sirius and Ginny were getting on extremely well, which was all the better for Harry. He had refused the possibility that his family would dislike Ginny, especially because of how much he liked her.

Sirius stood from his arm chair. “Well, I’m dreadfully out of tea. I’m going to make some more. Would either of you like some?” The young couple nodded, and Sirius collected their empty mugs. “Perfect! I’ll be right back.” Sirius winked at Harry. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Then he left the small sitting room.

“Your godfather is great,” Ginny claimed as she scooted along the sofa, positioning herself closer to Harry, something he would never complain about.

Harry threw his arm over her shoulder, pulling her tightly to his side. “I thought you two might hit it off.”

“If he was ten years younger — “

Harry put a hand over his heart and gave his girlfriend a mock appalled look. “Am I not good enough for you? Is it his hair?”

“Oh, it’s definitely his hair,” Ginny turned her body, so she was straddling his lap. She pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose. “But he doesn’t have your pretty green eyes. I think I’ll keep you.”

Harry let a snort. “I appreciate your cooperation.”

Ginny let out a husky laugh. She stole a light kiss before she moved back to her cushion. “The stories he’s been telling make me think of Fred and George. Your father and Sirius were basically brothers from the sound of it.”

“He was my brother, in everything but blood,” Sirius’ voice spoke out from the kitchen doorway. The three mugs of tea balanced in a triangle. “Remus too.”

“How is Remus?” Harry asked, gratefully taking his tea from Sirius.

“He and Tonks have been distracted the last few weeks between Teddy and the pregnancy,” Sirius explained as he retook his previous seat.

“I should visit them soon,” Harry muttered to himself. It had been a while since he had seen his godson.

“I would love to meet them,” Ginny said, taking a sip from her steaming mug. “I think Bill or Charlie knew Tonks at school.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Sirius gave a bark like laugh. “Remus really did rob the cradle with my cousin, didn’t he?”

“Love is love, Sirius,” Ginny said a smile gracing her lips. Both Sirius and Harry laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“That’s what Tonks said too,” Harry explained, “when she was telling us about their relationship. Except she included ‘you prats’ at the end.”

Ginny snorted. “I can tell me and Tonks will get along swimmingly.”

“Another thing I don’t doubt,” Sirius smirked at Ginny. “She will be more than happy to tell you about teenage Harry.”

Harry made a violent choking noise, before spluttering, “That’s won’t be necessary,” he spluttered.

Ginny grinned wickedly as she placed a hand on Harry’s forearm. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll just make it so we’re on a level playing field after George’s stories.


Ginny moved her lips to Harry’s neck as his hands started to make small circles on her back. They were now back at his flat, having left Sirius’ a little over an hour ago. They had started off just listening to the Puddlemere game on the wireless, but things had escalated to Harry shirtless and Ginny straddling his lap, for the second time that day.

It was as if they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves these past few days. Whenever they were alone, someone would make a move, making the situation become much more intimate than what had been originally been intended. Not that she was complaining. Hell, no! Ginny was enjoying their physically relationship more than ever. In all honestly, she could do with a little more than some extremely nice, heated snogs on Harry’s sofa, which was where they normally ended up, just like now.

Between training for the playoff games, which started in three days, and the way Harry kept pulling back from moving their physically relationship to the next phase, Ginny was feeling more frustrated than ever.

She had brought this all to her friend Luna for advice and had receive a Luna-answer, which had helped everything to click in her head.

“I’ve never know, Ginny Weasley to sit back and let what she wants pass her by,” Luna had said, her dreamy expression focused on something to the left of Ginny’s right ear. “What would Ginny Weasley do in this situation?”

Luna had been right. Ginny wasn’t one to sit back on her hands and let things go. No, she fought for what she wanted, until she had it. Quidditch captain for Gryffindor, a Chaser spot on the Harpies’ first team, but this was a little different. It wasn’t her trying to become the best at something and having the lead spot. This was involving another person’s emotions and opinions. Did Harry want to move forward in their relationship? Was he ready for it? Then the other piece of Luna’s advice took hold. Ginny Weasley would find out the answer. She would find out if Harry was ready, and the best way she had come up with was to just keep going until he said stop.

A part of her mind, the one that seemed to have her mother’s voice, had thrown out the phrase “scarlet woman,” but in all honesty, Ginny didn’t like that side of her brain when Harry’s lips were doing that.

Ginny moved her hands towards the hem of her shirt. She pulled back slightly from Harry, making him moan slightly at the loss of contact. She lifted her tee over her head, then moved back to the pulse point on Harry’s neck. Harry’s breath hitched as she used her teeth and then tongue to sooth the wound she had created.

“Ginny, do — are — “Harry’s voice was lower than normal, as he tried to talk. Before he could collect his thoughts to complete a sentence, a knock at the front door rang through the flat. It was like someone had blasted the couple with powerful Aguamenti charm. They jumped apart, Ginny reaching for her recently discard shirt.

“Harry?” A voice from behind the offending door spoke. “Harry, it’s Remus. Could you watch Teddy for a few hours?”

Harry had reclaimed his shirt and went to greet his caller. He swung the door open and was bombarded by a tiny toddler. Teddy, or who Ginny assumed was Teddy, wrapped his chubby arms and legs around Harry’s shins.

“Hawwy!” The little boy cried in excitement.

“Hey, Ted!” Harry put on a voice that would please any child, an excitable tone. He lifted Teddy into his arms and hugged the boy.

“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced,” The adult who had brought Teddy said. “Dora has an appointment with our healer and Andromeda and Ted are on holiday. Not to mention Teddy’s been asking for you.”

“It’s fine, Remus,” Harry claimed pretending to bite Teddy’s fingers, making the toddler giggle.

Remus seemed to notice Ginny and flushed. “Oh, you had company. I can take Teddy to Sirius.”

Ginny smiled at the man and his son, who had only just noticed her as well. “It’s fine, Harry’s been bragging about his brilliant godson.”

Teddy inspected her from within Harry’s arms. His expression slowly changed from suspicious to approving as his hair changed to match Ginny’s. “A sign of good faith from Teddy,” Remus said, moving and extending his hand towards Ginny. “Remus Lupin.”

“Ginny Weasley.”

Remus’s eyes started to sparkle with mischief. “So, you’re the famous Ginny, huh. Harry’s been talking about you — “

“I’m happy to watch Teddy, Remus.” Harry interrupted, setting the toddler down and taking the bag that was slung on Remus’ shoulder. “You better not keep Tonks waiting.”

Ginny snorted as Remus smiled, clearly knowing how much he was about to embarrass the young man. “Right you are. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Then he turned and went out to the flat landing and Apparated.

“Been talking about me, huh?” Ginny asked, moving in close to Harry, letting her thumb trail his jaw. “Only good things, I hope.”

“The best,” Harry’s voice took on a husky tone as his eyes following her thumb.

Ginny was about to lean in and close the small gap between them, when Teddy yelled, “Hawwy! Paddy!”

“Paddy?” Ginny asked.

“One second, mate,” Harry told his godson. He gave Ginny a quick, unsatisfying peck on the lips before he rushed down the hall and into his bedroom. When he re-emerged, he was hold a black dog stuff animal. “Paddy is named after Sirius’ Animagus form,” Harry explained as he handed, the now blue haired boy, the dog.

Ginny laughed. “That’s great. I’m sure Sirius loves the attention.”

“Actually,” Harry wrapped an arm around Ginny’s waist, pulling her closer to him, “he gets slightly jealous when Teddy would rather have Paddy then Uncle Siri.”

“Oh, Merlin! Does he get pouty?”

“More than you know,” Harry claimed as he pressed his lips to hers for too short of a time. “I bet Teddy would love to fly with a real Harpy. Wouldn’t you, Ted?”

Teddy, who clearly hadn’t been paying attention until his name was called, nodded his head enthusiastically.

Ginny laughed. “Well, who could say no to that face. Wanna show me your moves Teddy?”


“So that’s Harry’s godson?” Molly asked as she placed the tray containing three glasses of pumpkin juice on a stump. Ginny had flown over to greet her mother. She, Harry, and Teddy had gone to the Burrow to fly in the open paddock. Teddy loved being taken up in the air with Harry, and Harry seemed to enjoy it just as much. Both were giggling like school girls.

Ginny thanked her mother before saying, “Yes, that’s little Teddy.”

“He seems to be really good with him,” Molly kept her voice innocent, but the sly look she sent her daughter told another story.

“Mum,” Ginny chided. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Can’t a mother want her daughter to pick a suitable father for her grandchildren?”

“Not when the said daughter has only been dating the potential future father for less than two years,” Ginny quipped back.

Molly waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “I doubt it will take more than a year for you two.”

“What makes you think that?” Ginny spluttered, feeling the tell-tale signs of blush rise to her cheeks.

“It’s the way he looks at you, dear,” Molly explained with a smile. “He looks at you and the rest of the world disappears. Your father acted the same way when we started dating. We were married a year later. Love works in mysterious ways.” Molly gave her a knowing look. “I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean soon enough.”

Ginny wanted to defend herself from her mother’s annoying know-it-all expression, but in all honesty she couldn’t. She was starting to understand. If she was being frank, Ginny may have fallen in love with Harry from the moment she had spoken to him in that bar or when their hands brushed one another in the Muggle film, but wasn’t this all too fast? Shouldn’t it have taken time? She barely knew Harry, but a small voice in the back of her head defended this romantic notation. She did know a lot about Harry having spent many nights together talking.

Ginny knew his desire to become head Auror. She knew Harry wanted at least two kids, which was weird to think they had already discussed children so naturally. Hell, Ginny knew Harry liked to sleep on his side and always seemed to want to be the big spoon. She knew Harry.

Molly watched her daughter’s expressions change from confusion, surprise, to understanding. “For what it’s worth. I don’t think you could have picked any better, which is the highest praise a mother can give.”

Ginny smiled at her mother. “Thanks, Mum.”

“Anything for you, dear.”

Harry and Teddy slowly approached, Harry pretending to let Teddy guide their broom, but really, Harry led them in a slow controlled fall. Molly smiled at the pair. “I’m going to make some sandwiches, Teddy would you like to help?”

The toddler nodded excitedly as Harry helped him off the broom. Molly took his little hand and steered them back towards the house. Before she was out of sight Molly looked over shoulder and sent Ginny a little wink.

“Your mum is brilliant.” Harry claimed as he sent his broom down onto the grass and took one of the glasses of juice. “She’s already treating Teddy like one of her own.”

“Mum loves having kids around the house. She can’t wait for Fleur to have her baby,” Ginny explained, a smile uncontained on her lips. She moved in close. “Also, I think she wanted to give us a few moments together… alone.”

She could see his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped. “Well, I’ve never been one to shoot a gift horse in the mouth.”

Ginny shot him a quizzically expression. “What?”

“Muggle saying,” Harry waved it off, pressing his lips quickly on hers. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have this alone time.”

A little hum escaped Ginny as Harry’s lips started to caress her neck. “Right you are, Mr. Potter. Right you are.”
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