|SIYE Time:18:11 on 29th November 2021|
Category: Alternate Universe, Post-DH/AB
Genres: Humor, Romance
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Story is Complete
Summary: What do you do when your friends won't stop making fun of you for still being a virgin? You go find a man and shag his brains out, right? Well, at least you fake it.
Hitcount: Story Total: 23021; Chapter Total: 5713
Awards: View Trophy Room
An Alternate Universe idea inspired by Ed Sheeran's Shape of You. Harry never went to Hogwarts, so he never met the Weasleys, but he is still the chosen one.
“You know what you need, Ginnnny?” Lisa Greene slurred as she tilted the neck of her bottle towards Ginny Weasley. “A decent shag.”
The laughter of the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team rose over the loud music blaring within bar. Four out of the ten-woman squad were sitting at the gleaming counter, sipping on various drinks, three of whom were having a grand old time taking the micky out of their youngest Chaser, Ginny Weasley.
“Why do say that?” Ginny asked, trying to keep her expression normal. Sometimes being a pale, freckled, red head had its perks, but hiding embracement was not one of them.
“You’re too… stiff,” Lisa explained patting Ginny’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t you agree, girls?” She turned to look at Gretchen Holds and Josie Grew, who was Ginny’s roommate. They both nodded swiftly, twin smirks gracing their lips.
“You just need to relax, Gin,” Gretchen said comfortingly. “Don’t you have a bloke on standby?” And misinterpreting Ginny’s glare she continued, “Or bird? We won’t judge.”
“No, I do not,” Ginny proclaimed. “That hardly seems…” she tried to come up with the proper word, but her mind was already slowed due to the number of Firewhiskys she had drunk.
Lisa let out a derisive snort. “You sounded rather prissy right there, Ginny.”
“I’m not being prissy,” Ginny objected. “I just don’t go around sleeping with anything that has a willy.”
Josie put her hand up, trying to get the bartender’s attention, as she said, “You know, Gin, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you bring someone home.”
“So, that just means I’m good at sneaking in places.”
Finally achieving her goal, Josie turned her attention back to her teammates. “Or you’ve never brought someone home.”
The other two women now were giving Ginny their undivided attention. Ginny, for her part, tried to keep a level face. This was not something Ginny wanted to be discussing.
“Oh, Merlin, Red here is a virgin,” Lisa cackled.
“Not so loud,” Ginny shushed, then glared at her companions defiantly. “And so what if I am?”
Gretchen was the first to stop giggling. “It’s just surprising, Gin. I mean, have you seen the way blokes look at you?”
Ginny had, all of them looking at her as if she was an object… something to play with. Just another notch to add to their bedpost. Not exactly what she was looking for.
“Didn’t you have boyfriends at Hogwarts?” Josie asked.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t going to shag any of them,” Ginny glared moodily at her drink. “They were both wankers.”
“How the hell did you get through the stress of your N.E.W.T’s without a stress release?” Lisa asked in wonder, her jaw slightly slack.
“Flying,” Ginny turned towards Lisa and pushed her jaw up with the back of her hand. “Besides, I knew I wanted to play Quidditch, so I wasn’t too fussed about my scores.”
“Well, now, you need something more than just flying,” Josie claimed accusingly. “Especially with the finals coming up.”
The Harpies were in the lead to play the finals, the first time in Ginny’s professional career. So, yes, maybe she was slightly stressed.
“How about this,” Gretchen said turning around on her stool, so she was observing the room. “We all find a bloke to spend — quality — time with tonight.” The other two Harpies mimicked their friends posture; Ginny, however, continued to face front.
“I’ll pass. We have an early practice tomorrow and I want to get a good night’s sleep,” Ginny drained her glass and set it back on the counter.
“Not a chance, Red,” Lisa said standing and grabbing Ginny’s arm, making her face the room as well. “You are going to find some bloke, get your brains shagged out, then come back to work tomorrow relaxed.”
“No, I really think —“ Ginny tried to pull out of her friend’s grip, but holding a Beaters bat seemed to have done wonders to Lisa’s grip.
“Don’t make me choose your bloke,” Lisa threatened. “We are going to wait here until you walk out of this bar with someone.”
The other two nodded while Ginny tried to send them six feet under with a glare, but they didn’t back down. Okay, Ginny thought, I’ll just find someone who seems like a halfway decent person and ask him to pretend to leave with me. Something Ginny prided herself in was finding the kindhearted oddballs of the world. Her best friends Luna and Neville were perfect examples of this.
Taking stock, Ginny noticed two men sitting and talking quietly at a table in a corner. One had dirty blond hair and dark grey eyes. He was gesturing wildly as he told his companion a story. The companion watched his friend was an amused smile. His green eyes stood out across the dim room. Even from this distance Ginny could tell he was gorgeous. His eyes, his dark hair and that smirk that graced his lips were more than enough to tell that.
She figured if she was going to fake shag someone it might as well be someone striking like him.
“Fine,” Ginny relented to her friends wishes. “But you let me do this my way.” Her friends nodded grinning. She could feel their eyes on her back as she made her way over to the two men.
“I’m sorry,” she said once she was standing close to their table. “Can I ask a favor from one of you?”
The men turned to look at her. The blond one looked her up and down, a smug smile coming to his face. The dark-haired man, however, just turned his head slightly to the side, meeting her eyes. “What do you need?” he asked.
“My friends are taking the micky out of me… they think I need another man in my life, even though I have five brothers, and they won’t let me leave unless I’m escorted by a man.” Ginny couldn’t believe her own boldness. Sure, she had been sorted into Gryffindor, but this wasn’t something she normally did. After Dean had complained about how woman couldn’t play Quidditch as well as men, she had set a goal to prove him wrong. She had ditched Dean that week and focused all her energy on training… No real time for dating. Now in her second year with the Harpies she was in great form, but if she was being honest with herself her love life was basically nonexistent. Now here she was, basically admitting that to total strangers.
The blond was clearly thrilled by the idea of “leaving with her”, so Ginny decided to keep her attention towards the other man. “If you were planning to leave soon, could I walk out the door next to you, that way it looks like we’re leaving together?”
The dark-haired man gave her a smile, a damn sexy smile, and nodded. “Alright, actually yeah, I wanted to leave soon anyways. Your date should be here soon, shouldn’t she, Darrin?”
Darrin seemed rather disappointed for the reminder. “Yeah… she should be.”
Darrin’s companion stood up and glanced at Ginny. “I’m going to put my arm around your shoulder. Give your friends a little show, yeah?”
Ginny laughed. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” The man placed his arm gently on her shoulders and turned them in the direction of the door.
“I’ll see you Monday, mate,” Ginny’s “new man” called behind him as he guided her towards the exit.
“Yeah, see you Monday, Harry,” Darrin’s responded, sounding slightly depressed.
“Thanks for this, Harry,” Ginny whispered gratefully, leaning upwards so her face was right next to his ear. Then she looked over towards her fellow Harpies. They were all grinning like mad. Josie even gave her a thumbs up.
“No problem. I know what it’s like. My mates love trying to set me up,” Harry said as he dropped his arm from her frame so he could open the door for her.
Ginny walked out into the cool night air. Harry followed behind her. “We should walk a little way, just in case they look out the window,” Harry suggested.
“Good thinking,” Ginny claimed. She grabbed Harry’s arm and placed it back on her shoulders. He looked at her, surprised. “We need to keep the act going, right? So, what do you do for a living, Harry?” she asked as they started walking towards the set Apparition point.
He smirked. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to chat me up.” Ginny laughed. She had picked the perfect partner for this fake out. He had a since of humor and wasn’t shabby on the eyes.
“I’m an Auror,” Harry explained as they reached the Apparition spot. They stopped walking, but held their pose, looking sideways at one another. “What about you… You know what? You haven’t told me your name.”
“Ginny and I’m a Chaser.”
Harry dropped his arm and looked at her straight on. “Like professionally?” She nodded, making him whistle. “Damn, that’s impressive. Well, as long as you’re not on the Cannons.”
Ginny laughed. “Merlin, you couldn’t pay me to be on the Cannons. My brother, Ron, is basically a super fan of theirs… I will never understand the workings of a Cannons fan. Do they just hate the feeling of winning?”
Harry snorted. “That’s the only logical explanation.” The looked at each other and Ginny couldn’t help but admire his eyes even more now that they were out in the moon light. Damn they were hypnotic.
Harry’s hand went to the back of his neck. “So… that was a lovely night, Ginny. Make sure to tell your friends that we went on a moonlit stroll.”
Ginny laughed. “Such a romantic, Harry.”
Harry pretended to gush. “Well, you know.” He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. Ginny couldn’t help but notice he licked his lips. He paused before asking, “What were you planning on doing now that you have escaped your friends?”
Shrugging, Ginny said, “Go back to my flat. Maybe read that new book I bought. I need to be quiet so when my flat mate comes back she won’t remember I exist. I wouldn’t want her asking me all about my new mystery man, now, would I?” She smirked at him. “Unless you have a better proposition.”
“Well, I was thinking about going to see a movie… if you were interested… That way you can have some information about your new man, you know, just for the story later.”
Ginny smiled and cocked her head to the side. “What’s a movie?”
“So, you can watch that over and over again?” Ginny asked as she and Harry walked out of the now closing cinemas.
“Sure,” Harry told her, as they started walking down the now seemingly quiet London street. “They have showings every few hours.” Ginny looked as if he had just told her the meaning of life. This night had been much better than Harry had originally thought. At first, he thought he would be stuck as a third wheeling with Darrin and his date. Then he figured he would go home, unaccompanied, and listen to an old Quidditch game on the wireless, and end his day by going to bed alone. Instead, here he was, watching a movie with a Quidditch star. A very attractive Quidditch star. He had been amazed when she had approached their table back in the bar. The moment he had seen her he had been smitten.
Now after spending a few hours with her he could claim he easily fancied her. She was funny, breathtakingly beautiful, and she was giving him the time of day, without bring up the whole Harry Potter thing. Well, to be fair, he never told her his last name, but most people knew who he was the minute they saw him. Women would almost throw themselves at him, making him feel incredibly awkward. Either Ginny didn’t know or she didn’t care, and Harry was hoping for the latter.
They walk from street lamp to street lamp as they moved aimlessly. Harry felt content just walking with her, making small talk that felt anything but awkward. She told him about her brothers and growing up with such a large family. While he told her about growing up with his godfather.
“And that is why I received the sex talk at the age of ten,” Harry finished his story. Ginny, who had already been laughing about Sirius’ antics, clutched her stomach, stopping in the middle of the street, bending slightly forward.
“Merlin’s socks! That must have been scaring for you,” she finally managed, straightening up.
“I think he had it much worse, at the time,” Harry admitted. “Now he if it’s brought up he just winks at me…”
Ginny snorted. “Is that what boys do? Wink about your conquests?” She had air quotes around the word conquests.
“Hey, I’ll have you know I’m a man!” Harry declared sticking out his tongue at her.
“Oh, my apologies Mr. Man.” Ginny’s voice was dripping with mirth. “But do you have proof? You can’t just expect me to take your word about your man card, do you?” Again, she used air quotes, but this time with the phrase man card.
“If you came back to my flat, I would be more than happy to show you,” Harry teased, giving her an over the top wink.
“Talking big game there, Harry,” Ginny drawled, “I wouldn’t say no to a drink, though, in all honesty. I’m feeling hot chocolate. You care to join me on this journey?”
Harry smirked. “I can give the best of both worlds. I have the necessary ingredients to my famous hot chocolate.”
“Well, when you put it that way,” she wrapped her arm around his. “Lead the way.”
“Okay, I’ll give you this win, Harry. You make a brilliant mug of chocolate,” Ginny told her host as they sat on his couch in the sitting room. The wireless playing softly in the background, playing some of wizarding’s best hits.
“I told you. I should open a shop, call it Potation Potter, and all I’ll serve is hot chocolate,” Harry laughed.
“So, I’m guessing your last name is Potter,” Ginny had figured as much. When they were walking into the Muggle cinemas, she had looked at him and seen a light scar on his forehead.
Harry’s eyes widened. “What gives you that idea?” he asked eyes shifting around as if blaming the walls for telling his secret.
“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but the names Harry and Potter packs a punch to the wizarding world,” Ginny teased lightly, taking another delightful sip of her drink. “And seeing as you would name you’re shop with the title Potter I can assume.”
Once he recognized the tone of her voice, Harry let out a, what Ginny thought must have been, a relived sigh. “You don’t care that I’m the boy who killed Voldemort?” His voice held so many nerves, Ginny could tell this was something that a deal breaker for him. If she had freaked out, screamed like the little eleven-year-old in her wanted too, he would be disappointed.
“Pish,” Ginny waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Now if you had been the drummer from the Weird Sisters, sweet Merlin!” Harry laughed, looking thrilled. “And I thought you weren’t a boy?”
“Oh, you’re right. I was such a mighty man from the age of twelve… You know my cracking voice and nonexciting chest hair proved that.”
Ginny smiled sweetly at him. “And what’s changed?”
Harry’s mouth fell into perfect circle. “Oh, that’s just cruel.” He placed a hand over his heart, with a look of mock outrage. “My voice only cracks on Mondays and Fridays when I’m really tired.” He then pulled at the collar of his shirt, and looked down. “And there are at least like three hairs there.” Ginny couldn’t help but laugh at him. Oh, this man was the full package. Humor, looks, his voice was damn sexy, and Merlin his laugh…
Harry scooted closer, collar still pulled away from his lithe form. “Wanna examine for yourself?”
Ginny placed a hand on the side his waist. “Is this my proof?”
He gave her an all too charming smirk. “It can be, just tell me if you want more examples.” He placed a hand to the side of her face. Though his tone had been joking, his eyes told a different story. There was an intensity that showed he would be more than happy to give her a sample, but there was also a trace of anxiety. It was the nerves that made Ginny realized that this man was interested in her. Not just her body, but also, her personality. If he had just wanted sex, there would be no worries. She would just say yes or no, but he cared about the result for more than the physicality. Not to mention that hand on her face, it held her so tenderly… with such care.
Ginny leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. For a quick second, Ginny’s anxieties took hold as Harry remained stationary, then he started to respond. Moving his mouth against hers, moving his free arm to her waist, pulling her closer to him so she was practically in his lap.
Time was an illusion as they stayed wrapped in their embrace. Finally, air became an essential part for Ginny and her lungs. She slowly pulled away from him, taking in a large breath as he did the same. Somehow, they had ended with her on her back, Harry leaning over her.
“Well,” Harry’s voice was filled with humor, as he smiled down at her, “I’m no expert, but I would say my chat up line worked wonders.”
“I would give credit to your hot chocolate making. They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but really we just want chocolate,” Ginny claimed as she pressed light kisses to the underside of his jaw. “Though, now I will say you have presented me with an impressive man card.”
“Eh? Which one?” He watched her eyes drift down from his face. “Oh!” he flushed as she laughed. “Well, I live to please.”
“I’m sure you do,” Ginny pulled his face down closer to hers.
“I have to say,” Harry said in between kisses, “this is the best fake outing I’ve ever been on.”
Ginny had completely forgotten this had all be a ruse against her teammates. She couldn’t help but smirk against his mouth. She pulled back. “What can I say, I have a gift.”
“Feel like faking it tomorrow night? I know this great all-you-can-eat place in Muggle London.”
“That sounds brilliant. I could bring a bag and have dinner already made for the next week.”
Harry laughed and press two quick kisses to the tip of her nose. “Very thrifty.” He removed himself from the couch and offered her a hand. The clock over his fireplace chimed midnight.
“Damn, it’s late,” Ginny moaned. She had been enjoying Harry’s company so much she had completely been disregarding the fact she had an early practice. “I should go and get some sleep.”
Harry smiled down at her. “If you’re interested I have this lovely new sheet set in my guest room. It would be an honor for them to smell like you.”
Ginny thought about that for a moment. It would be better than heading back to her flat, with no warning about what or who Josie may be doing. Harry just continued to smile, a small dimple on the right side of his mouth showed when she was this close to him.
“How about I make your bedsheets smell like me?” Ginny suggested coyly. Harry’s jaw dropped for the second time since they arrived at his place.
He forced himself to recover, then with an open armed gesture he said, “I live to please, my dear.”
‘! Go To Top ‘!