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SIYE Time:13:31 on 28th March 2024
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A Thought or Two
By Mutt N Feathers

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Category: Pre-OotP, Alternate Universe
Characters:Harry/Ginny
Genres: Drama
Warnings: Mental Abuse
Story is Complete
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 87
Summary: Auror Spook Kitty Fawley thought the difficult part of her return to the UK would be getting Sirius out of prison and recovering Harry from his Muggle relatives. Turns out that was the easiest thing she would do. To help them, Kitty will delve into a mystery deeper than any she faced in the field.
Hitcount: Story Total: 133955; Chapter Total: 3690
Awards: View Trophy Room




Author's Notes:
I know, a third chapter in four days! Something unblocked and I'm a writing machine. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I promise more of little Harry is coming. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, MNF




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Chapter 14:
Going Backwards

Kitty generally wasn’t the first one up in the morning, it was usually Harry, but today he was sleeping late. She would be lying if she said sleep had come easily to her because it hadn’t. The guys were ready to pass off Harry’s strange behavior the night before as a nightmare, and she’d wanted to as well, but it felt different. There was none of the loving recognition in Harry’s eyes when he saw her, unlike when he’d awoken crying and screaming from a ‘regular’ nightmare. Harry’s eyes were cold and blank when he’d looked at her while scratching her face. It unnerved her. Thankfully, Remus was able to heal the cuts quickly and easily; he was the master at doing so now.

The kisses she’d shared with Sirius had also kept her awake.

“Merlin, I missed that,” she whispered into her coffee, remembering the feel of his lips and the tickle of his facial hair. It would have been so easy to fall back into everything with him, but … “It’s always but with him.” Kitty quietly sipped her cup and watched the mist burn off the lawn and trees. She’d need to think, unencumbered of thoughts of kisses and passion. What would be reported to the MLE this morning felt important.

"Why would they need homes in Yugoslavia?" she mused aloud. "All four of those families have plenty of holdings in the UK." She had personally met or went to school with the younger generations of the Malfoy, Avery and Mulciber families; all three men were horrid. Lucius Malfoy was cruel in a way that shocked her. It was apparent he held his wife in some manner of a thrall as he used and abused her in many ways. Kitty hated when they'd see each other at functions, as the girl she knew as a child was gone, and the woman left was hollow and brittle. They may not have shared ideas on the direction of the Wizarding world, but no one deserved to be eviscerated the way Narcissa had been.

Stirling Avery wasn’t intelligent, but he was sadistic — probably something he learned from his father, Cuthbert. Monty Potter had warned them about the older man and what he was known to do to women when he captured them. It would be a lie to say that Lily and the rest of her roommates knew to give Stirling a wide berth. It plagued Lily’s thoughts that Severus had chosen Stirling as one of his closest friends when their relationship had ended. The disappearance and subsequent murder of a third-year Hufflepuff in their seventh year confirmed their suspicions. Not surprisingly, Avery had disappeared from Hogwarts at the same time.

She knew Edwin Mulciber the best of the young men, as they’d moved in the same circles as children. A child of Lord Montague Mulciber and very distantly related to the royal family too, the Mulcibers were on the surface a fine family, much like the Malfoys. There had always been rumors about how Montague was adding to his fortune; namely, he'd kill his rivals and take their businesses. Edwin had been pleasant when he was younger, and it wasn't uncommon for him to play with James and Sirius. By the time they'd reached Hogwarts though, he was a different boy. He'd hit anyone who used his first name, even girls, as Kitty had found out on the third day of first year. Stupidly he'd slapped her in front of Professor Flitwick, and he ended up in detention. His behavior went downhill from there, and he was eventually expelled from Hogwarts and sent to Durmstrang. When he’d turned up as part of the Death Eaters, she wasn’t surprised.

Cantankerous Nott was an unknown to her, although not the MLE. He was born well before her parents and had gone through four wives before he finally produced an heir. The little boy was about the age of Harry. All his previous wives died in strange accidents, but their deaths could not be tied to him. She was tempted to pull his file when she went in today.

Lost in thought, Kitty didn’t hear Sirius open and close the French door from the dining room and come close. When he touched her shoulder, she nearly jumped from her chair, and her coffee covered her dressing gown. Thankfully, it had cooled while she'd held the cup; unfortunately, she'd not drunk much, and she was a mess.

“Jumpy much?” Sirius asked as he removed his wand from his back pocket and cleaned her up.

"Thanks," she muttered. "I was thinking about the four families with summer homes in Yugoslavia. Trying to remember what I knew about them. It's not much, except for Edwin."

“Yeah, I spent some time trying to remember everything too. None of them were prosecuted, were they?”

“They all slipped through cracks, or more likely paid their way out of trouble. You know what they were like at school,” she said quietly.

“If something happened, a daddy was meeting with the board, and the board always went against Dumbledore," Sirius added darkly. "All friends of my father's; the old men at least." Kitty nodded, knowing something painful was going through his mind at the mention of his father. Kitty had always feared the man, even before she learned why she should. Sirius' stories of home life, when she finally pried them out of him when they were away at Hogwarts, were horrific. Her parents were driven, had exacting expectations for her, but they cared in their own way. They would do differently with Harry.

"Kitty, can we talk about yesterday?" Sirius asked, and she nodded. "What do you want?"

It was a loaded question, and if Kitty was brutally honest, she wanted him. She wanted what they'd had. She just wasn't sure she'd be able to give herself to him completely, and that frightened her.

"When you kissed me when we kissed, it felt like it used to," she said thoughtfully. "But it isn't like it used to be. You broke something in me that took a long time to heal. Do you know I couldn't bring myself to even have coffee with another man while I was in New Zealand? Three years and I was celibate. If we start this again, I might not be able to give you all my heart. Honestly, I’m terrified.”

Now sitting across from her, Sirius sat his mug on the table and reached for her hands. “Kitty, I know I hurt you. I was so stupid that night, and I could give you excuses about being in pain and falling into a potion-induced haze that made me do what I did, but honestly, I just stopped thinking because it was easier than feeling everything.

"Fee and Monty were gone, and usually I'd have run to them for answers. Prongs and Moony tried to keep me in that night; they tried everything, including going with me to get matching tattoos; but I was determined to forget that you'd left. I take responsibility for my actions that night and for the consequences of my actions.”

“That isn’t something you usually do.”

“Lady Katie, we aren’t twenty-year-olds anymore. We are adults who have lived through some ugly shite. Please, we need each other.” Kitty searched his face, his eyes, something that would affirm what she wanted to believe. She needed to know he’d not break her heart again. He needed to be faithful.

Faithfulness had never been an issue until that night she admitted it. He’d never been unfaithful to any of the girls he’d ever dated. Even once he began to pursue her, he didn’t date anyone — even casually. “Slowly, we go slowly.”

Sirius scooped her up into his arms and kissed her enthusiastically. They were interrupted by Cheery announcing Harry was awake and wanting his breakfast.

"Our timing stinks," Kitty mumbled against his lips. Her stomach growled rather loudly, and Sirius released her but kept a protective arm across her back and down to her waist.

“I don’t think you ate the whole time we were gone,” he said as he picked up both now empty mugs. “Let’s feed you before our trip to the Ministry.”

As they walked into the dining room, Harry and Remus were already sitting at the table, and Remus raised his eyebrow at their comfortable embrace. He knew this would happen; he just wasn’t sure when. Lily used to call them Peanut Butter and Jam, and they were.

“Something I should know about?” he asked.

“She still loves me, Moony! Still wants me around and all!” Sirius sounded like a little boy who had won a prize at Primary school for his work. Kitty knew he didn’t view her as such, but she was struck at how wonderfully innocent his face was as he said it. Suddenly, years of hardship melted off his features, and she saw the boy who had tried to teach her to fly. She never took to it, no matter how hard he and Jamie had tried to encourage her. Sirius reminded her of his mirth when she made it around a single lap at the Potter pitch without falling off.

“You still love me?” a little voice interrupted, and all three adults looked at Harry with varying degrees of pity.

“Harry, sweetheart, we will always love you more than you could ever know,” Kitty said softly as she knelt next to his chair. “You are the bestest, most delightful part of our family. We all will always love you.”

“But you love Sirius?”

“Harry, people can love more than one person. I love your Uncle Remus too, but not the same way I love you or Uncle Sirius. I loved your Mummy and Daddy too. All of our hearts are big enough to love many people and, in many ways,” Kitty gently explained.

“Good. Sometimes the voice says you won’t keep loving me. Do you want some eggs? Cheery put cheese in them," he said happily. Remus mouthed 'voice?' at her, and Kitty shook her head. Although there had been a lot of different actions from Harry in the last twenty-four hours, that was a new one.

“What voice, honey?” Kitty asked.

“The one I sometimes hear in my room.”

“Okay,” she said perplexed. “How did you sleep last night?”

"Good. I thought that I got up to see you and Uncle Sirius, but I don't know if it was real." He shoveled another forkful of waffle, peanut butter, treacle, and blueberries toward his mouth; most made it in. Remus had finally learned to charm his clothes, so things simply slid off onto the mat on the floor. His ability to use silverware was behind where it should be for his age, and it made all of them wonder if he was ever fed at the table in his time at the Dursleys.

Kitty ate and dressed quickly, choosing a more relaxed attire. Her dress trousers and blouse were in a coordinating set of blues, which made her eyes sparkle like sapphires. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail that swung when she walked, and her make-up was minimal. It was the first time either man had seen her this relaxed since they’d come together two weeks ago as their quasi-family unit.

“What?” she asked when she noticed they were staring at her.

“You’re just not wearing robes,” Sirius spit out.

“I’m well aware,” she said with a glance and curve of her lip that reminded him of her true icy person for most people.

“You look pretty when you’re like this.”

Kitty smiled softly and looked away as she blushed. "Come on, Kingsley is going to make copies of our memories before I speak to the MLE."

When Kitty was able to view Sirius's memories, she realized they'd learned more than she thought. He'd even gotten a street address of one of the homes but did not know what city it was in. They'd provided the Aurors who were going to move forward with valuable intel. She didn't care how much they begged her to stay on, Kitty was firm that she was taking her indefinite leave.

“There is something much more important in my life now. I’ll visit the royal courts if you need me to, but I will not go undercover in Yugoslavia. It's too risky for me, and I have too much to lose now,” she said firmly when Rufus Scrimgeour pleaded. He finally gave up when Amelia Bones came over and told him to stop.

“Albus is pleading with me to get you to talk with him,” she explained. “Could you find it in you to give him two minutes. I think he needs to share something with you.”

“You know if anyone else was asking me, I’d turn them down,” Kitty quipped at her boss-come-friend. “Let me get Sirius, and we’ll listen to him.”

Albus Dumbledore was awaiting the couple in Amelia’s office. He was seated in one of the wingbacks that faced her desk. Amelia sat down behind her desk, figuring if it was important enough for Kitty to know, then she was going to find out what it was. Sirius leaned casually next to the filing cabinets across from Albus. The man had already stollen part of his life, he was going to remain on guard while they spoke. Kitty sat on the edge of Amelia’s desk and waited for him to speak.

“Lady Fawley,” Albus began, “I believe we have done a great disservice to young Harry by taking him away from his biological family.” The other three were silent for a moment before Sirius yelled at his former headmaster.

“What sort of shite are you talking, old man? They beat him. They starved him. The made him sleep in a cupboard under the stairs! How the fu–” Kitty quickly cut him off before the tirade of curse words could be spilled.

"Honestly?" Kitty asked. "After all we know what they put that poor boy through while he was there, you want to send him back?"

“Yes.”

"You're suggesting that you take a child away from people he is learning to love and care for and shower him with praise and cuddles and kisses to return him to a place that allowed broken bones to go without resetting? Why would you do that?" Kitty asked, her eyes were now like flint, and every cell in her body stood firm. No one would take Harry away from her. This was Jamie and Lily's dying wish. She would betray neither her childhood hero nor her best friend.

“Why?” she seethed when he didn’t answer her immediately.

"When Lily sacrificed herself for Harry, she put a charm on him. I don't think she intended to, as the magic is ancient now. He must be protected by his mother's blood. Living with the Dursley's does that," Albus explained in a slightly pompous tone.

"Albus, there is no charm that could be stronger than the centuries-old spells on Kitty’s home. Yes, Lily loved her son with her whole heart, and I don’t doubt her sacrifice, since I was the one who first came upon them,” Sirius said with venom dripping from every syllable. “I’m the one who found my brother lying face-up, eyes dead at the bottom of the stairs. I,” he slapped his chest, “was the one who went up to Harry’s room and had to step over Lily's body to reach my godson. He was bleeding and terrified, and he wanted his mummy. His screams haunted my memories in Azkaban. You didn’t do that, I did. You’re the one who took him from my arms and put him in that hellhole of a home.” By now, Sirius was both angry and close to crying. Kitty went to him and held him while he calmed.

“No. Harry will not be taken from us. We have legally binding documents naming us as his guardians, and soon we'll be his parents too," she said firmly. "It isn't what we wanted, we'd have given our lives so his mother and father could have lived, but Voldemort killed them. Their child won’t leave my home.”

Albus looked to Amelia, who shook her head. "Even if this charm could be validated, I doubt it could; they have legal documents. Harry belongs with Kitty and Sirius."

"Thank you," Kitty said softly to her friend before leaving with her arm securely around Sirius, not looking back.



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