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SIYE Time:14:34 on 29th March 2024
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We Had to Start Somewhere
By Rant

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Category: Post-OotP
Characters:Draco Malfoy, Harry/Ginny, Hermione Granger, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Fluff, General, Humor
Warnings: Death
Rating: PG-13
Reviews: 314
Summary: Some believe in love at first sight, but for Harry and Ginny first sight happened years ago and they're far from enamored. It seems they will have to settle for the gradual kind, the kind that drives us all mad but makes sense - in the end.
Hitcount: Story Total: 84155; Chapter Total: 6686







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A Decidedly Non-Golden Silence
Chapter Fifteen


It took Harry almost two hours to get back to the common room, stopping first by the Owlery and then a real walk around the halls having kept him busy. His thoughts weren’t much clearer at the end of it, but he encountered someone immediately who he knew would help him out.

Taking a quick look to see that they were alone, Harry headed to where Ron was sequestered in a corner — still working hard on his Charms essay — and slapped his hand on the parchment.

“What did you say to her?” Harry asked. He ignored the feel of wet ink on his palm and gave his best mate a glare.

“Bloody hell, Harry, that’s taken me hours!” Ron shoved Harry’s hand away and tried to fix the blotchy mess.

“You said something,” Harry said in a low tone before scourgifying his hand. “Through the door and it upset Ginny. What was it?”

“What?” Ron gave him a disgruntled look and then frowned at his parchment. “Nothing. I didn’t say anything. Well, nothing important.”

Harry sat in the chair across from Ron and fiercely whispered, “It was something of importance to her.”

“I just…” Ron said thoughtfully before waving his hand around, as if to literally brush away the question. “I was joking, asked Ginny if that meant she was your girlfriend yet or some shite like that. But of course she is, so why would it bother her?”

Harry stared dully at his best mate for several seconds too long, because Ron’s face hardened slightly. “Well, isn’t she?”

“I… just…well, I,” Harry stammered, “We haven’t exactly…discussed it.”

Ron worked his jaw for several moments, but the look in his eyes wasn’t giving Harry any measure of reassurance. “Are you telling me that you’ve made my baby sister your snogging partner,” he said with undisguised anger, “and that’s it? That’s all you are?”

Harry tried to speak, but Ron looked absolutely thunderous. For a moment it seemed as if his best mate were going to lunge across the table at him before thinking better of it. Instead he stood, slapping his books shut and stuffing the still-messy parchment into his bag.

“Ron-” Harry began.

“You don’t want to talk to me right now,” Ron growled out. He yanked up his bag off the table, nearly hitting Harry in the process and Ron didn’t look the least bit sorry for it. “And you’d better stay the hell away from my sister if that’s all you’ve got planned for her, do you hear me?”

Stunned, Harry could only stare at the other boy.

“I… I thought better of you than this,” Ron finally said, disappointment in every syllable. With that, he turned his heel and strode away, his body language alone telling people to stay clear of him as he stomped up the stairs. As for Harry, all he could feel was that small bit of guilt that had been gnawing at him turn into a wave that swept him from head to toe.

**********


H arry jabbed his fork into his breakfast absent-mindedly, casting a look at the people around him and at a loss for what to say. Across from him, Ginny was uncharacteristically quiet and Hermione, beside her, kept shooting him uncertain glances. Ron was on Hermione’s other side and didn’t even both looking at him, rounding out the worst feeling of ostracism Harry had felt in a long time.

It was mad, but Harry wondered if it would just be better for Ron to get in a few punches and then Harry could finally explain his hesitation. Anything would be better than cold silence from the one person who’d been pushing him to Ginny the entire time — if anyone knew them both, it was Ron. And the fact that his best mate seemed to have given up on him made Harry very worried that Ginny just might do that as well.

All the same, Harry was still at a loss for what to do. He’d never felt like more of a coward in his life.

Once or twice he tried to speak, but while he was quite sure Ginny would respond — albeit a little less than enthusiastically — he kept from saying anything at all. The last couple of days had been tense, to say the very least, with Ron playing the silent game and Hermione forcing herself to say nothing if she couldn’t say anything good in the first place. Ginny and Harry had been all right together, but he hadn’t dared try to touch her, let alone take her aside to discuss what had happened.

Sighing quietly, Harry pushed his plate away and looked up to the ceiling of the Great Hall as owls began swooping in. His heart went a little faster when he saw Hedwig gliding down to him, a letter clutched in her talons. He’d hoped for a quick response, but this was beyond his expectations. Harry muttered a quick ‘thanks’ to Hedwig and left her to enjoy the remains on his plate as soon as the letter was in his hands. Ginny was giving the parchment in his hand a puzzled look, but he merely smiled slightly at her and pushed away from the table.

“Have to take care of this,” he mumbled in her direction and raced out of the Hall before she could say anything.

He walked a while, holding the letter tightly in his grip, until he was out of the way of stragglers heading towards breakfast. The corridor that led to the greenhouses was has a cold breeze rushing through it, but was blessedly empty, so Harry decided that it was as good a place as any.

Tearing at the seal and opening the letter to reveal Remus’ handwriting, Harry sighed in relief and began to read.

Harry,

First of all, sit down
-

Harry sat on the cold stone floor.

-and take a deep breath. You may feel calm, but I need you to stay that way.

Done and done.

Thank you.

“You’re welcome,” Harry muttered and then started reading again.

At first I’d hoped to get an audience with you at least through the Floo system, but ultimately decided that you wouldn’t want to risk even the possibility of overhearing us. I hope that I’ll be able to get my point across without unnecessary theatrics or raised voice, so please do pay attention.

Harry, you must understand that girls aren’t nearly as complicated as you think. You stated in your letter that you thought Ginny was upset that you were hiding what you have with her and you are right…to an extent. What you have to realize here is that there’s a point where a young lady feels appreciated by her suitor and then when she starts to feel like a bit on the side. Apparently, Ginny came very close to that line
-

“That’s not what I intended!” Harry burst out. His voice echoed in the empty corridor and he immediately shut his mouth, embarrassed.

-which was very likely not your intention, but it happened nevertheless. Your duty is to now fix it and fix it quickly. I suspect you’ve both been silent on the subject since it happened and that’s tolerable, but it cannot hold out for long. You know how you feel about Ginny, I know how you feel about Ginny, don’t you think it’s high time that Ginny knows?

I’ll let you sit on that for a moment and move onto another thing you mentioned, the issue with your fellow students. And here I must be as blunt as possible:

Harry, you are famous. You will always be famous. The faster you come to terms with this, the better. Eyes will follow you for the rest of your life and this experience is a testament to the fact that the more you hide, the more they will seek you out. This by no means signifies that you should shout your thoughts and feelings from the highest tower at Hogwarts, but it does mean that you’re going to have to give a little. You are under the incorrect assumption that by not giving in to the pressing public and letting them see anything, you have the upper hand. However, you are already drastically changing your actions and relationships based on the very same public that you are trying to avoid!

I know this is hard to hear and even harder to put into action, but there are moments where we have to change things on our own or let others change it for us. You still have time to take control of this situation and I suggest you do it before things take a turn for the worse.

As for Ginny, the only thing I can do is remind you of something you already know: you cannot do this alone. It is all the better to have someone who cares for you very deeply in turn to stand by your side as you make these difficult decisions and act on them. I believe you already know this — it’s time to carry it through.

I know you were looking for easy answers, for me to give you directions on how to make this right, but it’s up to you, Harry. I cannot tell you how honored I was to see that you wanted my advice, but I would only undermine you if I gave you exact instructions. This is one of those moments, my friend. I have every reason to believe that you’ll do the right thing.

Yours,
Remus Lupin


***********


The parchment folded easily under the pressure of his fingers, its original crispness gone from constant reading and folding. Harry tucked it into his pocket for what seemed the thousandth time that day and softly closed the library doors behind him. Nodding curtly at Madame Pince, he headed straight for the third table in the fourth row where there was one head of red hair amongst plain colors.

The girl beside Ginny looked up first and elbowed her in the side. Ginny ignored her until the girl became insistent and so she shoved away at the hand and looked up to see Harry approaching. When their eyes caught, he could have sworn his stomach fell to his shoes, but Harry kept in his direction.

Ginny stared, her eyes becoming wider and wider with each step he took until, finally, he stood by her.

“Hey,” Harry said, looking quickly at her three study mates, all of whom pretended to still be writing, though none of their quills were actually touching the parchment.

“Harry,” Ginny replied, somewhat stiffly, “what’s going on?”

He hesitated for barely a moment before crouching down beside the table, “Well, see…” All three girls were blatantly staring and Harry felt their eyes burning holes into his skin.

“Do you mind?” Ginny asked them, a slight snap to her voice, when Harry paused uncomfortably. They all jerked their faces down and Ginny looked back at Harry. “Yes?”

“I was wondering, there’s a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow,” Harry said quickly. Ginny bit at her lip and he rushed to finish, “I know it’s a bit late to ask, but I’d wondered if you wanted to go…with me. Just…me.”

His calves were started to burn a little underneath him, but Harry stayed exactly where he was as Ginny put her quill down and pushed her hair behind her ears.

“I, um,” Ginny went pink, “I would love to-”

Harry’s heart jumped.

“-but I’ve already told my friends that I’d go with them,” Ginny finished in a small voice.

He stared blank-faced for a few seconds before simply saying, “Oh.”

Neither of them moved, Ginny’s face getting steadily redder and her eyes sad and Harry trying to find where his heart had gone off to again. Finally, he dropped his head and said, “All right. Well, I mean, that’s the way-”

“Ginny, don’t be stupid,” the girl next to her blurted out. “You don’t have to go with us.”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry insisted before Ginny could argue. If she’d already made plans, that was his fault for not saying something sooner — not hers. “We can see each other afterward, yeah? We can meet up at dinner.”

Ginny smiled slightly, as if she weren’t sure if she should risk a full out grin. “Really?”

“Of course,” Harry assured her. In a lower tone, he added, “Ginny…I’m trying.”

“I know,” she replied just as softly. They smiled one another for several moments before she gestured to the other girls and said, “And no one here will go running to Seamus, isn’t that right?”

The girls began a chorus of agreement at Ginny’s firm words, but Harry spoke up over them and said, “I don’t care.” Ginny stopped, spinning to face him again. “They can say whatever they want. I really don’t care.”

Ginny stared at him, stunned. Harry took advantage of her momentary silence to lean over and kiss her quickly on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He stood up quickly and began walking away before the expression of disbelief fell of Ginny’s face; he wasn’t very far away when the girls around her broke into a fit of giggles. That only served to quicken his footsteps and Harry hardly took a breath before he made it out the library doors. As soon as he was through, Harry collapsed against the wall next to the doors and took a huge gulp of air.

He’d done it. He’d actually done it.

Merlin.

******* ***


Despite the fact that Ron still wasn’t looking at him and that he’d barely caught a glimpse of Ginny before she was whisked away by a few friends, Harry thought the next morning was going splendidly well. He enjoyed his lonesome breakfast, thinking forward to dinner where he would enter the hall with Ginny’s hand in his and without one damn thought to their watchers. Let them see, he thought, almost smugly, he wasn’t going to care. He refused to care.

Then he took a sip of his orange juice and began trying to convince himself of that all over again.

Bolstered by relentless self-encouragement, Harry spent the early hours wandering around the castle. Keeping a slow pace, he thought wistfully of spending time with Ginny later in the day. His imagination was blissfully devoid of any other Gryffindors, or any people in the castle for that matter, but he appeased himself by promising he’d figure it out somehow. If not, there was always the possibility of the Room of Requirement or the hidden tower.

But, Harry reminded himself, he wasn’t hiding. It just meant he didn’t want an audience while he snogged his girlfriend.

Girlfriend. Harry grinned at the word. Well, if Ginny didn’t know it yet, she certainly would soon enough. Truth was he should have made it clear ages ago and now he was finally fixing it. Another plus: Ron would finally talk to him again, or at least Harry hoped.

It occurred to him that perhaps Remus would want to know about the steps he’d taken, overcoming the fear just as a Gryffindor should, though a little late. That in mind, Harry stopped and considered a short letter, though the phrasing wasn’t entirely clear just yet. He concocted several notes in his head on the way to the Owlery, taking the long way in order to be with his thoughts and to avoid running into others.

Dear Remus — Thanks for the advice, I expect I’ll be kissing Ginny again pretty soon…

No, no, that wasn’t right.

Remus — It’s done. Thanks.

Hmm…too general.

Remus -

Harry train of thought halted as soon as he stepped through the Owlery door. Feathers were coming down in a sort of storm as the owls were flying back and forth above him in senseless patterns. Ducking under a couple of wide wingspans, Harry stepped further into the room and shook his head in confusion. He was most alarmed when he saw that Hedwig, the lone white figure among the rest, was acting no differently, zigzagging from one side of the tower to the other.

“Hedwig!” He called out and held out his arm. “What in the world?”

Several owls sped out the open windows and others came right back in, each in a seeming state of panic. Harry, however kept his eyes on the snowy white owl until she perched on his arm. “Hey girl,” Harry said as he stroked Hedwig’s feathers. She jostled herself against his arm, clearly agitated and he tried calming her with another stroke. “It’s a bit mad in here. Did you all get a batch of rotten mice?”

Hedwig propelled herself from his arm and flew straight toward one of the many openings of the Owlery tower. Harry moved forward and called out, “Hedwig! What is wrong with yo-”

There was no pain in his scar. Only that fact went through his mind as Hedwig floated above him in a circle and then flew back to the window he’d come to stare out of. No pain whatsoever. Even so, Harry gripped the sill tightly and wondered how he could have possibly not known.

“No,” he said hoarsely, looking at the distant sight. “Oh, Merlin, no.”

Turning quickly, he ran out of the Owlery in search of why it looked like half of Hogsmeade was on fire.

**********


He made it down to the Entrance Hall in what had to be record time, but he wasn’t the only one. Somewhere during his meandering of the quiet hallways and his trek to the Owlery, a crowd had formed on the first floor of the school. Students were running around in chaos, some Prefects attempting to control them; half of them looked unhurt, the other half injured in some way and all completely terrified. The sounds of the hurt and frightened were thunderous and almost deafening.

“Professor McGonagall,” Harry yelled when he saw the older woman. She was herding students towards the Great Hall and visibly paled when she saw him.

“Oh, thank goodness, Potter, I thought you were still out there,” she said urgently when he drew near.

“I never went,” Harry replied anxiously, pulling out his wand. “I’m going now.”

“You certainly are not!”

Harry stiffened his back, “I must.”

“No, you won’t,” McGonagall said firmly, grabbing onto Harry’s arm. “This is not the time, Mr. Potter. Please assist the Prefects in rounding up the younger children.”

“You don’t under-”

“Of course I understand,” she cut him off. “But right now, we must get everyone safely inside. Please listen to me.”

When Harry began to protest again, she urgently whispered, “We are not even aware if You-Know-Who is out there. It appears there are just Death Eaters at the moment.”

Harry stared at her, shell-shocked. McGonagall met his gaze with a grim nod and Harry barely thought to lower his voice when he said, “You know what I have to do.”

“I do,” McGonagall agreed with a curt nod. She looked at the doorway as the large doors opened again. “Oh, Mr. Weasley!”

It felt as if his insides were being gutted when he saw Ron slumped heavily against Dean’s side. Clearly unconscious, his feet dragged along the ground and Dean grimaced under the boy’s weight.

“Three stunners to the back,” Dean explained, his voice shaky. “I tried to wake him up-”

“The hospital wing, immediately!” McGonagall barked out, her face horrified.

“Let me help,” Harry said urgently, pointing his wand at Ron and using the levitation charm. It wasn’t incredibly strong and Ron dipped low to the ground and Dean looked much too tired to raise his wand, let alone use it to help. Even so, Harry said, “Professor, we’ve got this under control.”

“You will remain here, Mr. Potter,” she repeated. Looking back towards the doors, McGonagall said, “I’ve stayed here too long already.”

“Go,” Harry urged her. Dean forced out his own levitation charm and Ron rose higher; they quickly made their way to the hospital wing, where they were quick to get Madame Pomfrey’s attention. Soon dropping Ron onto an empty bed, Harry turned to Dean and asked, “Were there many people left there?”

Dean shook his head, “I don’t know. Some of us were already heading back, luckily enough.”

“Hermione. Ginny,” Harry said quickly. “Have they come back?”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Hermione’s voice called out from behind him. Soot had darkened her face, trails of it displaced where she’d let out a few tears. They reappeared when she saw Ron’s prone form. “Oh, no-”

“Ginny. What about Ginny?” Harry grabbed Hermione’s shoulders and shook her to get her attention. “Where is Ginny?”

“I don’t know,” Hermione answered, her desperate eyes still on Ron. “We were separated, but she’d said she was coming back early. I’d thought she’d be back here.”

It was as if his entire body was going numb and Harry slowly dropped his hands from Hermione’s form. Breath growing frantic, he looked all over the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of red hair. Though he saw none, he scrambled to stand at the end of Ron’s bed and put his hands to around his mouth to yell, “Has anyone seen Ginny Weasley? Anyone?”

“Ginny! Ginny, answer us!” Harry jerked around, surprised to see that Dean had joined him in standing on the bed. He swallowed hard when he heard the panicked note in the other boy’s voice. “Does anyone know where Ginny Weasley is?”

No one paid them any attention, whether it was because they didn’t know the answer or were to intent on getting other students in hospital beds.

“I’m going,” Harry announced. He ignored Hermione’s frightened gasp. “I’ll go to Hogsmeade if I have to.”

“Professor McGonagall told you to stay here,” Dean said back, though his tone was decidedly dubious. “And Dumbledore’s already at the gate — you’re mad if you think he’d let you go out there.”

“Harry, there’s no way they’ll let you out,” Hermione added, but even she looked as if this were a very feeble excuse. When he looked at her, she only shook her head and appeared very unsure. Dean, however, said, “See? Hermione thinks it’s mad, too.”

Harry turned on the other boy and heatedly said, “If you think I’m going to stay-”

Dean resolutely shook his head. “Of course not. I’ll go with you.”

“No, you’re exhausted enough as it is. I can do it myself,” Harry answered. He jumped off the bed. “Besides, I have something I think might help.”

He raced out of the hospital wing before they could stop him.

**********


T he beeping was like a homing signal and, later, Harry would have sworn he heard it from outside the Fat Lady’s portrait. Taking the steps to his dorm three at a time, he threw open the door and went through the trousers he’d been wearing the day before; inside, beeping like mad, was his mirror.

Harry activated it quickly, relief washing over him when Ginny’s face came into view.

“Where are you?” he asked straight away. His eyes prickled, but forced himself to breath deeply and keep calm.

“Back of Honeyduke’s,” Ginny answered, her eyes darting everywhere. Her hushed voice made his anxiety return full force. “Colin and I were pushed back here and now we can’t get out.”

“Oh, thank Merlin,” Harry replied. “Ginny, there’s a trap door, around the middle of the room. Go through it and follow the tunnel. It’ll bring you straight back here.”

Ginny looked on the verge of questioning him about it, but instead said, “Right. Right. Colin, help me look for a trap door. Harry says there’s one here.”

“Hurry, Ginny,” Harry whispered. At the same time, he tucked his wand into his pocket and made his way back out of Gryffindor Tower. If he was lucky, he’d get to the witch’s statue without anyone seeing him.

There was some scuttling in the background as Ginny and Colin attempted to find the trapdoor without drawing attention to their actions. Harry winced when he heard a box of sweets tumble over and then Colin apologizing.

“Damn it, Ginny, hurry!”

“I know, Harry, I know!”

Those were the last words she said to him, though, as that was when a loud splintering noise came from far away and Ginny gasped. The mirror was mostly darkened by the palm of her hand, but he could still hear her as feet pounded into the back of Honeyduke’s and spells began flying.

Harry started running again even as Colin’s voice could be heard screaming, “Stupefy! Impedimentia!” and Ginny yelled out, “Reducto! Reducto! Stupefy!” along with tens of other curses. Then, in the middle of all of it, he could hear the creaking of old hinges and Colin muffled tones calling out to Ginny. Her answer was faint and argumentative and then — gone.

But the sound of a tumbling body was clear, as well as the squeaking of the hinges and the clap of a closing trapdoor.

“Ginny!”

She didn’t answer. And the mirror had gone completely black.

**********


A/N: I forget who asked, but someone was wondering over the title ‘How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?’. It’s a joke from here in the States about the music conservatory of the same name. The answer? ‘Practice, Practice, Practice’. It was a little joke having to do with Ginny’s earlier teasing that Harry needed some practice kissing and he got plenty of that in chapter fourteen. :)

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